Chapter 3

No words had been spoken for a few minutes but both knew the other was still there. Beca took a deep breath, any anger she had been feeling was gone but she struggled with what the next move should be. Chloe had told Beca she loved her and now Beca had admitted to Chloe that she had loved her once too but was she brave enough to admit that she still might?

She put that thought to one side, she wasn't even brave enough to open the door right now so any further declarations of love would have to wait. The door acted like a shield for Beca, it was creating a safe space for her to say some of what she had always wanted to without the fear of witnessing the other person's reaction. She smiles to herself as she thinks back to all the times that she has been told that she has 'too many walls', 'you have to let people in'. Well now she had a door, it may not be open but it was a start.

Beca can't help but let her mind wonder to all times she'd been in Chloe's' company over the last 6months, if there was any indication that Chloe had been in love with her, if there was anything that she had said or done that might have been a hint but then Beca almost laughs out loud at the thought. Picking up hints were not her strong point, even if Chloe had been hinting there's no way that Beca would have noticed. As she thinks her mind recalls one memory recently that makes her wonder, 'The bar a few months back.' Her voice is loud in the silence. 'When Ben first started talking to Emily.'

'What about it?' Chloe replies

'Were you trying to tell me something then?' Beca can hear the soft laugh that comes through the door.

'It's taken you 2 months to pick up on that Bec? I should know being subtle with you doesn't work.'

Beca smiles, yeah she was rubbish at picking up on hints.

2 Months Earlier

The bar is loud with bodies pressed close, moving to the music that thumps through the speakers. Beca looks around scanning the faces of the people around her, feeling a gentle buzz from the drinks that have already been consumed. It's unusual for them to be out on a Wednesday night but after much discussion and eventually giving in to the socially accepted 'hump day' argument Beca and her brother Ben had headed out. Now in the club Beca can't help but concede it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Irritated by the constant prodding in her left arm she turns to face a grinning Ben, raising an eyebrow at his slightly manic look. 'What the hell are you grinning at?'

'She's here.' Ben's grin growing bigger

Beca's confused, 'Who's here?'

His grin falling, Ben looks at his sister like she's got two heads. 'Emily, Emily is here. Look.' He nods his head over her shoulder.

Finally Beca gets it, Emily, the goddess that her brother has been obsessed with but done nothing about since he first saw her almost a year ago. Standing behind her Ben rests his chin on Beca's shoulder as they watch Emily make her way down the stairs from the VIP balcony, smiling and greeting a few familiar faces as she now makes her way through the crowd.

'God she's pretty.' Ben sighs.

Beca swats him away, his breath warm in her ear 'Dude ask her out already, this is starting to get creepy.'

Stepping back Ben grabs his drink from the bar and knocks it back in one hit. 'What's the point? She's not going to go out with me.'

'How old are you? You're not a teenager anymore Ben, grow some balls and ask her. At worst she says no and you're no worse off than you are now but at least you'll know you're a loser instead of just thinking it.' Beca smirks and receives a glare in return.

'Seriously go talk to her now or I'll do it for you.' She slowly takes a sip of her drink. 'And you know I will.'

Ben freezes his newly poured drink half way to his lips 'You wouldn't.'

Smiling, Beca sighs 'you really want to take that risk?'

'I hate you.' Downing his drink he hands over his glass and heads over to where Emily is dancing. Beca turns back to the bar hoping she hasn't just sent her brother into a car crash.

'No way, do my eyes deceive me or has Ben finally grown some balls?' Beca smiles hearing the familiar voice of the girl she'd recognise anywhere. 'Is he drunk?'

'No just highly motivated. I threatened to do it for him.' Chloe looks at Beca and grins stepping beside her to lean against the bar. Beca can't help but look Chloe over and she has to admit she looks good. Long red hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders and dressed in skinny jeans, heels and sleeveless blouse. 'Who are you out to impress tonight?'

Raising her ocean blue eyes her gaze locks on Beca, a small smile playing on her lips as Chloe moves a step closer and takes the drink out of Beca's hand and slowly takes a sip of the smooth bourbon and licks her lips, 'Wouldn't you like to know.' She says and all Beca can do is watch as Chloe hands back the glass and with a wink turns and makes her way over to where Emily and Ben are talking.

Present Day

Now that Beca thinks about it throughout the whole night there had been subtle glances, held stares and Chloe stealing Beca's drinks. At one point they had even ended up on the dance floor together, a rarity but Beca had never been good at saying no to Chloe. They were close but again there were a lot of people on the dance floor, space was limited. The limited space didn't mean that Chloe had to dance quite so close though and she certainly didn't need to lift her arms to drape them over Beca's shoulders as they moved perfectly to the rhythm.

Kate had also been at the club that night Beca had later learnt. Kate, the girl Beca had met a few days later at another bar and who she had clicked with immediately. Kate was the exact opposite of Chloe, dark hair and eyes and a more subdued disposition but still outgoing and friendly, she had spilt her drink in Beca's lap after someone had pushed past her in their eagerness to get to the bar. A conversation had started from there and they didn't leave each other's side all night. When it was time to leave Beca found herself agreeing to going back to Kate's place, her flatmate was away for the night apparently and it had felt natural when they shared their first kiss on her sofa. Beca knew Kate wanted more, she panted it in her ear after that first kiss turned into a heavy make out session. Something held Beca back though, she was attracted to this girl and the ache between her legs told her she wanted to keep going but she couldn't do it and instead they spent the night curled up next to each other until after breakfast Beca excused herself with the promise to call.

She did call too and over the last couple of months they had since been on a few dates and Beca was really enjoying her time with Kate, they still hadn't progressed to anything physical and Beca could tell Kate was becoming frustrated but still Beca kept holding back.

Now sitting here in the dark against her door Beca knew why, Chloe. Chloe was why she hadn't taken that next step. Chloe, the girl who even when she didn't realise it consumed her thoughts, was her inspiration in everything she created and who she had to get out of her system one way or the other. Had a part of her realised that Chloe had been acting differently, had she needed to find out once and for all if there was ever a chance for the two of them. Now Beca had her answer and it terrified her, does she confront this with Chloe or does she draw a line under it all finally and move on and be with someone else.

Chloe's voice brings her out of her thoughts 'Hey Bec?'

'Yeah Chlo?'

'Will you let me in?'