The day had arrived. Harry and Professor McGonagall were at the train station, headed to a platform that Harry could not understand, or even pronounce. He was going to go to the platform, he was going to get on the train, and he was going to go to Hogwarts. Nobody could stop him, not even his stupid uncle. Harry was going to Hogwarts and he was going to learn how to be like Gandalf. He was going to blow shit up with his magic wand and turn himself invisible. He was going to make a magic sword and call it Sting. It would glow when his cousin was nearby and it was going be the coolest fucking thing that ever existed.

At the moment, however, he was at train station full of boring normal people who were giving Luci weird looks. Harry could sense that she felt insulted both by the staring and the manner of her transport. He hoped she wouldn't be angry about the cage. He hadn't wanted to put her in it for the trip, but Professor McGonagall said he had to. Adults could be so boring.

They were approaching the barrier between platforms nine and ten, when Harry spotted a large family of people with red hair. He first noticed them due to the owl that was with one of them. Were these people wizards too?

Professor McGonagall seems relieved to see them. "Good morning, Mrs. Weasley."

The red haired woman herding the group looked for who had called her, and appeared surprised when she saw who it was. "Professor? I thought you'd be already at the school."

"I'll be heading over soon. I just have one thing to see to first. I'm here with a new student, from a non magical home, and he's never been on the platform. Would you be able to make sure he gets on the train?"

Mrs. Weasley turned her gaze over to Harry, with an expression that Harry could only describe as similar to how his Aunt Petunia looked at his cousin.

"Yes, of course I can help him. What's his name?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"I'm Hawwy." Harry said.

"Well, Harry, you'll be in the same year as my son Ronald here. He's been on the platform before, so he can show you how to get on."

Harry and Ron sat in their train compartment. Luci was out of her cage, and Ron was telling Harry stories about Hogwarts he'd heard from his brothers. He had five older brothers, which Harry could only assume was a terrible situation. His brothers all had magic too, and had been practicing longer. They were comrades in arms, yet Ron was fighting a grander war. Harry knew little about Ron, but he already had a deep respect for him.

Early in the trip, a boy named Neville had stopped by, asking if they had seen his pet toad, which they hadn't. Now, they could hear voices approaching. One was Neville, and the other was someone they had not met yet.

"Are you sure you already asked them, Neville?"

"Yes, and they said they haven't seen a toad."

"Well, nobody else has either. You might as well ask again. Maybe he turned up since the first time."

Harry and Ron looked at each other warily. Neither of them wanted to meet the owner of that voice. It sounded like someone who was bossy and annoying and rule abiding and didn't understand fun.

Harry whispered to Ron, "Don't wowwy, I know what to do."

Just a season the new mystery voice pushed open their compartment door, Harry drew his wand and held it with both hands in front of him, like a miniature staff.

Before the door was fully open, the newcomer started to speak. "Has anyone hewe seen a to-"

Harry let his wand issue a stream of sparks as he shouted, "YOU SHAWW NOT PASS!" And then slammed it down in front of a very surprised girl with a burst of crackling light.

"Who the fuck awe you?" She said.

"I'm Hawwy." Harry replied.

The girl extended her hand to him. "My name is Hewmione. Hewmione Gwanger. I've nevew met someone my age who wead The Wowd of the Wings."

Harry shook her hand. "Weww, I'm onwy just stawting The Fewwowship of the Wing. I finished The Hobbit though."

"I just finished The Wetuwn of the King this summew." Hermione said. "I pwomise I won't spoiw it fow you."

Harry gave her a single nod of his head. "The pact is seawed." He turned to face Ron, who was still in his seat, looking confused. "Won, this is ouw new fwiend Hewmione. She's coow as fuck."

Hermione grinned. "Okay, but have eithew of you seen a toad?"

"The answew is stiww no." Harry replied.

"Weww, it was nice meeting you." Hermione said. "I'm going back to my compawtment. You shouwd weawwy change into youw schoow wobes. We'ww be awwiving soon." She turned and left, a baffled Neville trailing behind her.

Harry and Ron took her advice and put on their school robes once she was gone.

"Just wike Gandawf." Harry whispered.

"What was that?" Ron asked.

"How wong untiw we awe thewe?" Harry asked.

"I dunno, maybe hawf an houw?" Ron replied. "Maybe soonew. I hope so, I'm hungwy."

Neither of them was sure of the time it took, but soon they felt the train pulling to a stop. Harry goaded a reluctant Luci back into her cage, and the two boys stepped off the train into Hogsmead Station.

"FIRS' YEARS OVER HERE! FIRS' YEARS THIS WAY!" Boomed a voice Harry would recognize anywhere.

"That's the man who yewwed at my uncwe untiw he wet me come hewe!" Harry said to Ron.

Following Hagrid, Harry and Ron were met again by Hermione.

"Hewwo Hawwy! Hewwo Won!" Hermione said.

"We shaww be The Fewwowship of the Hog." Harry said.

They saw that Hagrid was leading them to a lake, at the edge of which were many small boats and one not small boat.

"No more than four students per boat!" Hagrid said to them, getting into the larger boat alone.

"Just wike Wothwowian." Hermione said.

"Just wike what?" Harry asked.

"Shit." Hermione replied. "You awen't that faw in yet. I said nothing."

The three of them claimed a boat, and accepted Neville as their fourth passenger. Once all the new students were settled in the boats, they began to row themselves to the school.

And now, the students waited to face their first trial: the Sorting.

It seemed that none of the first years knew how they were to be sorted into their houses. Ron told Harry that none of his brothers would tell him how it worked, except for the twins, who claimed you had to fight a troll. That sounded like it had to be a lie, but Harry was still nervous. He didn't have any training yet, how could he fight a troll?

He tried to calm himself. Bilbo didn't have any training when he faced trolls either. He would be fine, even if it was a long wait till sunrise. Would the troll have a cave with a magic sword in it? That would make it worthwhile.

Harry got so excited about the prospect of a sword that he was almost disappointed when it turned out that they just had to put on an old hat that would decide what house to put them in. At least it was kind of an interesting hat. It sang a song before the sorting started, which Harry thought was thematically appropriate. It seemed to take longer to sort some people than others, and Harry wondered how it decided. He'd have to wonder for a little while, since they were being called forward in alphabetical order by last name.

Harry paid particularly close attention when Hermione was called forward. She sat on the little stool and put on the hat, and it looked like it was going to shout something right away, but it paused. After a few seconds consideration, it announced 'GRYFFINDOR!' and she went to join the cheering students under the red and gold banners.

After what was either a horribly long time or just ten anxious minutes, Harry was called to be sorted. The noise in the hall hushed to a low murmur as Harry walked up to the stool. He wasn't sure why everywhere he went, wizards paid so much attention to him. He also didn't give a single fuck. He sat on the stool and dropped the mysterious hat over his eyes.

"Oh dear." A voiced muttered in his ear. "You are an... interesting child."

"Ummm... thank you?" Harry replied. He wasn't sure what the hat was talking about.

"You, Harry, are a perfect fit for Slytherin house if I've ever sorted one."

"Nooooo." Harry whispered back. "Not Swiverwin." He'd heard a bit about the house, and he was sure as fuck that he did not want to be in it.

"Oh come on now. It's an obvious choice. You're determined, ambitious, and rather clever for your age. You would do so well there."

"I don't want to be a Swiverwin." Harry replied.

"And weirdly self centred too. It's like you were born for this house."

"But I don't wanna."

"You are being a ridiculous child."

"Don't wanna be a Swiverwin."

"Be reasonable for a moment. Slytherin is the best house for you, it's quite obvious."

"I. Don't. Wanna."

"Listen here you little shit. You will do well in Slytherin. Don't you want to do well?"

"I wanna not be a Swiverwin."

"You are the worst child I have ever been placed on. Do you know how many terrible children I've sorted? Thousands of children since I was first enchanted. Many generations of bratty little gremlins who grab at me with their grubby, unwashed hands. And you, Harry Potter, are the most obnoxious and petulant one I have ever had the displeasure of meeting."

"Fuck you. I wanted to fight a twoll and get a swowd."

"Five minutes!" Someone called from the staff table. "He's a hatstall!"

At that, the general volume of the Great Hall rose.

"Please," the hat said, "just go to Slytherin. Give it a chance. The house has produced just as many great witches and wizards as the others. They will understand you there. You'll make lots of friends."

Harry thought of Hermione, already sorted into Gryffindor, and of Ron, whose whole family was in that house. "No. I wanna be a Gwyffinow."

The hat sighed. "Well, I suppose that's an acceptable second choice, if you're going to be so stubborn. I'd still rather out you in Slytherin."

"No Swiverwin. Just Gwiffindow."

"If you insist. Just know that there's no going back once I place you in-"

"-GRYFFINDOR!"

The tension in the hall broke. The Gryffindor table erupted into deafening cheers, which mixed with shouts of disappointment rising from the other tables. Harry took off the mean hat and went to sit with Hermione for the rest of the sorting. He was relieved when Ron joined them as expected. He didn't want to lose his first friends on his first day.

Once all the new students were sorted, food appeared on the tables, so much that Harry could hardly believe he was seeing it. There was so much that nobody needed to limit anyones' portions, nobody could possibly eat enough to deprive anyone else. Harry stuffed his face in celebration. It was a glorious day.

After everyone had eaten, the headmaster Dumbledore gave a boring speech, telling them silly rules like 'stay out of the forest' and 'don't use the third floor corridor' and other things that were far too boring for someone who looked so much like Gandalf. When he was done speaking, they got to go to their dormitories. A prefect made sure everyone knew the password to the common room, and they filed in and split off to their beds. Harry has to share his room with Ron and two other boys, but the bed itself was as spacious as his room back home, so Harry didn't care. He cocooned himself in blankets and drifted off.