XV

Convincing Rachel to follow her dreams takes a lot more out of Quinn than she initially expects. They talk about it all night, Quinn going in circles trying to help Rachel alleviate whatever hangups or fears she has about returning to New York.

There's something in her words and reasons that makes Quinn uncomfortable. As if someone or something has planted itself in Rachel's mind and convinced her she would be a bad mother for wanting to pursue the career of her dreams.

"I can't do it, Quinn," Rachel says for the umpteenth time, and Quinn wishes she would stop. She also wishes she could get some sleep, but this is a never-ending conversation and it's better they hash it out while the children are still asleep.

"Why not?"

"It's irresponsible, for starters," Rachel says. "It wouldn't be fair to uproot everyone just for - "

"You," Quinn says. "Why won't you let us do this thing for you?"

"I'm not asking you to."

"I know," Quinn says carefully. "I know you're not asking; that's why I'm offering. There's nothing for me and Lucas here other than you and the boys. We'll go where you go. We'll be what you need. Baby, you can have what you want. Please let me give it to you."

Rachel can barely look at her. "Quinn."

Quinn shifts until she's on her knees on Rachel's bed, resting her bottom on her heels. Her gaze is imploring, silently begging Rachel to listen and understand. "If you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't want this because you don't want it, I'll drop it right here, right now," she says. "I love you, and I love your sons. I think, without making light of the shit we've been through, that I would do just about anything for you. Let me do this. You shouldn't have to give up anything else."

"What about you?" Rachel asks. "What about what you have to give up?"

"What am I giving up, Rach?" she asks. "Look at me. The most important things in my life are in this house right now, and they all have beating hearts." She lifts her arms. "A house is just a house, and my job can be done anywhere. I'm giving up nothing but an address."

"What about Lex?" she asks.

"The most we'll have to worry about is dealing with a second sudden geographical change in as many months," she says. "The house was never given the chance to be his home. He hasn't even started school yet, and I can assure you he would jump at the opportunity to live in New York with his favourite people." Quinn reaches for Rachel's closest hand, bringing it into her lap. "Tell me what's really bothering you. Just tell me. I promise I can handle it if you tell me this isn't something you want to do with me."

"It's not that," Rachel immediately says. "There's nobody else I would rather do this with."

"Then what is it?"

Rachel doesn't say anything for a long, long time, and Quinn sits there and waits as patiently as she can manage. She yawns a handful of times and she shifts her position to sit cross-legged, her legs tingling.

What feels like hours later, Rachel finally speaks. "What if it goes wrong?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper. "What if - what if we get there and it all falls apart?"

"What if it doesn't?"

"It has before."

"Tell me what happened."

Rachel sighs. "I took a semester off when Hugo was born," she says. "It seemed like the best thing to do at the time. We all needed time to adjust to a new baby, and - " she stops and shakes her head. "I almost didn't go back to school. I didn't know how I could ever do it, you know? It was already so hard just living in New York with a baby, and my degree was so demanding, but - "

"But what?"

"They promised me they would be there," Rachel says. "They promised I wouldn't ever have to do it alone, and I believed them."

"Who?"

"Santana, and Kurt," she says. "Brody was always so flaky, coming in and out. He wasn't reliable for the most part, always saying that he had a career to pursue if he wanted to support us, and - and I believed all of them. I believed them, and now you're asking me to do it again."

Quinn closes her eyes, so she doesn't have to see the lingering devastation in Rachel's eyes.

"Because then they left," she says, and it sounds as if it hurts her. "I can't begrudge them that, of course, because they have their own lives, but they promised they would be there, and then Santana came to Lima. Then Kurt, and I was left in New York to struggle with a toddler." She swallows. "It was hard, Quinn. It was really, really hard, and I - I let Brody back in."

"Oh, baby."

"It was a wrong choice," she says. "I just keep making them."

"Rach, no."

"In the end, I was with him out of necessity, and I can't stand the thought of that happening to us," she says. "I don't want us to do this thing, and have it fall apart and then have you resent me for dragging you across the country and leaving you with no options." She pauses. "I don't want to trap you."

And, suddenly, Quinn understands that Brody must have said those exact words to her. "I'm going to kill him," she declares, entirely too seriously.

Rachel just shakes her head. "When I found out I was pregnant again, I knew there was no way I could stay," she says. "I didn't even need Brody's reaction to know he wasn't going to be more of a father to Max than he ever was to Hugo. I - I couldn't do it alone, so I came home. I came home, and, even here, I can't fucking do it without them, and they know it - even my parents - and they hold it over me, because I'm the idiot who's alone and not with the perfect spouse who would - "

"Hey," Quinn says, stopping her tirade and leaning forward to wrap her arms around her. "Listen to me, okay? Hear these words and please, please believe them." She pauses. "Your friends are fucking assholes."

Rachel lets out an unexpected laugh.

"Also, you've been dating far too many dickheads."

Rachel snuggles into her.

"I just want you to know that I am willing to do this with you," she says. "I mean, it might even work out better, because Lindsey is in New York, and she would love to have me close enough to breathe down my neck. Also, New Haven is considerably closer to NYC, which means we could see Blue and Jonny more often. It all works out."

Rachel shifts back, looking pensive.

"What?"

"Why don't you refer to Lindsey by some kind of nickname?"

Quinn frowns, sufficiently caught off guard. "Uh, because she's an asshole, and I tend to hate her more than I like her."

"Oh."

Quinn chuckles. "She's not special, Cherry," she says. "She's my annoying literary agent, who's been on my case about edits for weeks now. I'm pretty sure I called her a sadistic bitch in my last email."

"Quinn," she gasps.

Quinn kisses her, soft and sweet. "And plus, I have enough people in my life whose name start with L to stay creative."

Rachel's expression doesn't lose its thoughtfulness as she asks, "What about Blair?"

Quinn stiffens. "What about her?"

"Did she have nicknames too?"

Quinn licks her lips. "Not in the beginning, no," she says. "Eventually, she did."

"Do - have - I - "

Quinn kisses her again. "I promise I have never used a name on you that I did on her," she assures her.

Rachel puffs out a breath. "Why do you always just know what to say?"

Quinn shrugs. "Because I know you," she says. "I know you, and I love you, and I want to make you happy."

Rachel rests her forehead on Quinn's shoulder. "Can I think about it?"

"Of course," Quinn says. "I would tell you to take all the time you need, but we do have a bit of a tight schedule."

Rachel laughs softly, relaxing against Quinn. "I love you."

"I know," Quinn says. "Now, please can we get some sleep."

Planning for New York City gives Quinn something to think about; something to focus on other than the way her life has changed just in the last few days. Rachel hasn't explicitly agreed to the move, but Quinn suspects she will, so she needs to be ready.

She goes through the checklist she made when making the move from New Haven to Lima, except there's more to it.

More parts to consider.

Just more.

Despite her exhaustion, Quinn still goes in to the police station to go over her statement and ensure the police and prosecutors are planning to pursue. She won't stand for anything less.

Next, she has to steel herself for the moment she picks up Sasha's ashes. She's still not sure what they're going to do with them, but Sasha deserves something special. Maybe they'll even take her with them to New York.

Next, Quinn visits a real estate agent. Her intention is to put her house on the market, even with the destroyed kitchen, and she's fully willing to price it to sell. She feels a little guilty wanting to get rid of her grandmother's house, but there's no way she'll be able to live in it again.

Maybe she should rent it out instead.

At least, that's what Viola says, which would require Quinn to fix up the damaged kitchen, and she's not sure she's willing to do that.

"Well, you've given me a lot to think about," she says, which is true. It's just another thing to tick off on her 'Move to New York' Checklist.

There's the bank next, the post office, the hardware store (of course) and the grocery store before she heads back to Rachel's house.

To find utter chaos.

She pulls into the driveway to find several people standing on the front lawn, yelling at one another. They notice her arrival, and Quinn feels her entire body grow tense when she sees Rachel standing there, alone, facing off against her friends.

Friends.

Quinn scoffs as she opens her door and climbs out, suddenly irritated with these people who are supposed to be Rachel's people. The woman she loves definitely deserves better, and Quinn is determined to show her exactly what that is.

Rachel looks nervous when Quinn approaches, as if she thinks she's done something wrong. Quinn can't think of anything that would warrant that, so she suppresses her desire to ask questions and moves to stand at Rachel's side, presenting a united front.

Rachel seems to relax at the move, which was always Quinn's intention.

"Quite the scene we have going on here, huh," Quinn says to all of them, frowning rather deeply. "Anyone want to fill me in as to why we're having a screaming match on the front lawn?"

Rachel touches her wrist, trying to get her not to antagonise or worsen the situation.

Quinn sighs. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"What's going on is there's no way we're letting Rachel go back to New York," Santana says quite harshly, and Quinn raises her eyebrows.

"Letting?" she murmurs, more to herself than anything.

Rachel's grip tightens on Quinn. "I called them," she whispers, explaining the situation to Quinn. "I wanted - I needed to discuss it with - I just had to talk it out with someone who wasn't - "

"Me," Quinn finishes for her. "It's okay."

Rachel blinks in surprise, as if she was expecting more anger. "It - it wasn't meant to get so out of hand."

"Why has it got so out of hand?" Quinn asks them all, but she's looking at Rachel. Her eyes, always on Rachel.

"Uh, they don't want me to go back to New York," Rachel says, her voice small.

"At all?" Quinn asks.

"With you," Santana answers, her gaze hard. "I mean, who the hell do you think you are? Just coming in here and - "

"And what?" Quinn asks, genuinely curious. "Giving her more options? Giving her the chance to be more than this town? Reminding her just how wonderful and capable she is? Nurturing her talent instead of making her feel guilty for it? Making sure she knows she has the world at her feet? Believing in her? Trusting her? Lov - " she stops quite suddenly.

But Santana still catches the slip, and she decides to run with it, her facial expression turning a little feral. "Oh, I get it," she snarks. "You like her, and this is, what, some elaborate plan to get her all to yourself, in a different state, and, what, attempt to seduce her? That's - "

"Santana!" Rachel snaps quite suddenly. "That's enough."

"Don't you see what's happening?" Santana presses. "She obviously just wants to get into your pants."

Quinn says nothing, and Rachel seems to use merely her presence to step in front of her, almost shielding her.

If this moment is anything to go by, there's a certain shift that occurs within Rachel. It is sudden, and it is beautiful.

"Santana," Rachel says, her voice surprisingly steady. "I was in New York with someone else who wanted nothing more than to 'get into my pants.' What makes Quinn so different from Brody, huh?"

Santana frowns. "What?"

"I needed to talk to you all about this," Rachel says. "I've wanted to talk to you about my life and my career for so long, but - but the idea that I want more than this life you're all so happily settled into is something you never want to discuss." She sighs. "I was never meant for Lima, and you know it just as well as I do."

"And, yet, this is where you ended up," Kurt says, and Quinn hates him. Positively loathes him.

"Like the rest of you, right?" Rachel says, and it sounds as if she's caught on to something very important. "You failed to make it work, so it only makes sense that I did, too. I should give up on my dreams, because so have the lot of you." It's almost as if she's working it all out in her head, just coming to terms with the way her friends seem so reluctant to see her succeed. Why they've always been so content with the idea of her returning to Lima, and staying and taking up the job they jokingly left for her.

Because they did.

Because they're not brave enough to try again.

Because their spouses are keeping them here.

Because they aren't as talented as her.

Because they're content, and it seems they expect her to be, too.

Because they don't have someone like Quinn, who is willing to push and follow and encourage and help and love.

Some kind of realisation seems to pass through Rachel's body, and Quinn steps back. This isn't a battle she's meant to fight. It's all Rachel's, as it's always been.

It strikes Quinn, then, that one of the main reasons Rachel has been holding herself back is Rachel.

This is also the moment Rachel realises it, and it is stunning.

Quinn almost tunes out then, her eyes rather focused on the line of Rachel's glorious neck, her muscles tense and her voice firm. She's gorgeous, and Quinn has the sudden urge to tug her into her arms and sink her teeth into her skin; to lick and taste.

She's forced into attention when Rachel takes a sudden step back, Santana and Kurt doing the same.

Oh.

It's over.

At least, for Rachel, it is.

"Well, don't come crawling back when it all falls apart again," Santana snaps, looking frustrated and angry and maybe a lot hurt. "When she leaves you high and dry, who are you going to have then? If you do this, you'll have nobody."

Quinn pinches the fabric of Rachel's blouse between her fingers, grounding them both. If Rachel can actually feel it, Quinn doesn't know.

I'm not going anywhere, Quinn says in her head, wondering if Rachel can hear the silent words. I'm not going to leave you.

Rachel must hear her, because she squares her shoulders and says, "That used to scare me so much." She pauses, thoughtful and a little teary. "I guess I've figured out being alone isn't the worst thing in the world." She reaches blindly behind her, and Quinn slips her hand into the offered one. "Good thing I'm not, though."

Santana glares at them both.

It's over, now.

There's still so much to figure out, but Quinn keeps her hand solid in Rachel's, making sure she knows she's not alone.

Kurt and Santana leave then, huffing and shooting daggers at them both.

"At least I didn't get tackled this time," Quinn eventually says when they're completely out of sight, just her and Rachel left on the front lawn.

Rachel turns around to look at her, tears in her eyes but a soft smile on her face. Quinn realises maybe this was what Rachel needed. She needed to know their reaction, assess the way they would deal with the news, determine if they would still support her, and now she knows.

She knows, and now she's looking at Quinn as if she hangs the moon.

Quinn has never been looked at that way.

"What?" she asks, suddenly shy.

"I love you," Rachel says.

Quinn feels a little bemused, and she probably looks it, too. "Okay."

Rachel reaches for her, her hands making grabbing actions, and Quinn steps into her space, like a magnet drawn to her opposite pole. "Quinn," Rachel says, sounding very serious.

"Roberta."

Rachel rolls her eyes, and then lifts herself up to kiss Quinn's lips. "I love you," she says again.

"I love you, too," Quinn returns, simply because there's no other response, is there?

"So," Rachel muses, her right hand trailing along Quinn's left side. "I have a question for you."

"I'm listening."

Rachel meets her gaze, steady and sure. "When do we leave?"

Sunday, apparently.

It gives them around week to get the boys settled in before school is scheduled to start. Well, first they need to get Hugo and Lex into a school. And, really, where are they going to live?

Rachel tells her she has a place in Brooklyn, but it's only a two-bedroom apartment, which doesn't really bode well for a growing family. It makes no sense spending the first few months there, and then having to move again.

So, Quinn sets out to find them a house, once they pick a suburb to live in, and Rachel takes the responsibility of getting everything else sorted out.

"A suburb," Rachel says, wincing a little.

Quinn laughs. "It's all Baby and I have known," she says, using one hand to scroll through listings on her laptop and the other to rub Max's tummy gently where he's fallen asleep on the couch cushion beside her. "I think it'll be better for our family."

Rachel sighs from where she's pressed against Quinn's other side, her knees lifted to balance her own laptop. "Don't try to get your way, just because you know how I swoon when you say 'our family.'"

Quinn presses a kiss to the back of her head. "I just think Scarsdale is the best place for us," she says. "It has good schools. It's safe. Westchester County is along Broadway, so, if that's not a sign, I don't know what is. We can have our cars. We can maybe get some pets. We'll have neighbours, but they won't be on top of us. It'll be more of a community. It'll be different, but not too much."

"Quinn," Rachel sighs. "I love this picture you're painting for us, but this is a huge undertaking. This is a forever home you're talking about here. And, God, how on earth are we supposed to afford anything in the area?"

When Quinn can't think of a suitable response, Rachel turns her head and torso to look at her.

"Quinn?"

She clears her throat, momentarily looking away. "We can afford it."

Rachel eyes her critically. "Is - is this the moment you tell me you're secretly a millionaire and that you flip houses and wear stupid denim shorts for fun?"

Quinn says nothing.

"Oh, my God."

"It's - it's - look, it's not a big deal or anything," she says, her voice a little high. "I mean, I have a Trust Fund, and my grandmother's inheritance, and, I mean, I'm kind of a successful author, and Lindsey's pushing for the TV series, so, I mean, technically, we can live wherever we want to."

Rachel just stares at her. "This is - I don't even - can we just - " she stops and sighs. "Can we take a timeout, please? Just for a few minutes. You're kind of blowing my mind a little bit right now."

Quinn kisses her. "Well, I could be blow - "

"Don't even finish that sentence."

Quinn just kisses again, because it's really, really apparent they haven't been any kind of intimate since the night of nightmares. Not that they're going to get that carried away right now. Quinn just wants her to know she's desired, always. Every second of every day.

Rachel ends the kiss, pulling back just enough to look into Quinn's eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I want you, and I want our family," Quinn declares. "I want us to be safe and happy, comfortable and settled. I want to give you the world."

Rachel kisses her softly, lingering a while. "Baby, you already have."

Quinn ducks her head, adorably embarrassed. "Let me give us a home," she says. "We can work out everything else once we're where we're supposed to be."

Rachel studies her face for the longest time, searching for something. Quinn can't tell if she actually finds it, but she eventually says, "I don't know if it's you, or if it's me, but I can't shake the feeling this thing between us is going to last forever."

Quinn raises her eyebrows. "Why would you want to shake it?" she asks, genuinely curious.

Rachel sighs. "This kind of thing doesn't happen, Quinn. Life doesn't work that way. We don't just get to be happy."

"Why not?"

"It can't be this easy."

"Who said it's going to be easy?" Quinn presses. "We have so much to figure out."

"Then, why are you even pledging to do something as crazy as this?"

"Because I love you," Quinn says. "And, all that stuff we have to figure out, I would much rather do it while I'm by your side than not."

Rachel sighs. "There you go again," she pouts; "just saying all the right things."

"My words are one thing," Quinn says. "Tell me if I've proved myself to you in all the other ways that are important."

"You have," Rachel says, cupping her cheek. "My God, you have."

Quinn just smiles at her, soft and gentle, so much affection in her gaze.

Rachel kisses the tip of her nose. "So, you love me, huh?"

"So damn much."

"Good," Rachel quips; "that means you can be the one to tell my parents."

Hugo seems undisturbed by news of the move, and Lex just wrinkles his nose in what could be considered disgust if he were any other child. While she and Rachel have made sure to be transparent with their plans to move, this is the moment they've confirmed the where it in all its glory.

"New York?" Lex asks, drawing the words out, and Rachel shoots Quinn a confused look.

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Balou is from Boston," she explains. "The woman hates New York, and so her godson has to have misgivings, as well."

Rachel chuckles.

Quinn looks at at Lex. "I'm sure you can still be a Red Sox fan, even if you live in New York, Lexington."

Lex seems to consider this, and then nods. "Okay."

Both women look at Hugo, who merely shrugs. "Am I going to my old school?"

"No," Quinn answers. "It's a new one. Near where we're going to live." Because Quinn has found them a pair of houses from which to choose in their desired neighbourhood. She's not keen on signing any final documents sight unseen, but the second one is a bit of a fixer upper, and she's trying to convince Rachel to take a chance on it.

It's not going so well.

The last thing Rachel wants is to move into some kind of project, so Quinn thinks she's probably going to be losing this battle.

Anyway.

She's sure she'll be able to find something to do in their potential house. Quinn asked if Rachel knew anyone in New York who would be able to go and see the house for them, and she's made a handful of calls.

They're just waiting on a phone call, before Quinn puts in an offer. An offer that Rachel isn't entirely comfortable with, at the moment. Apparently, buying a house, full-cash, is just insane, but Quinn wouldn't ever admit to being entirely sound of mind.

There's just a part of her that believes in this. She believes in them, as a family and as a couple, and they're going to make it. They are. So, Quinn is willing to take this leap, and she's hoping Rachel will step onto the dance floor with her.

Rachel taps Quinn's knee, gesturing towards Lex, who is seated on a couch cushion and looking rather small, his brow furrowed in thought.

"Hey, Baby Shark," Quinn says, getting Lex's attention. "You okay?"

Lex nods, still looking thoughtful.

"What's up?"

Lex gets to his feet and moves to stand in front of her. "Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Will I still get to paint my room?"

Quinn, admittedly, is relieved that's his question. "Of course," she says, and then looks at Hugo. "You'll both get to pick and design your own bedrooms. It'll be our little projects."

Rachel looks at her with an expression that says well, there you go; you wanted a project, and now you have one.

Quinn just rolls her eyes, and then looks at the boys. "So, New York, huh?"

Both Hugo and Lex grin, almost matching.

"New York," Rachel confirms.

Huh.

LeRoy and Hiram almost don't take it well.

As definitely not agreed, Quinn is the one to tell them, the younger couple sitting them down at the kitchen table while the children watch television in the living room and letting them know they're moving to New York.

Hiram is stunned, and LeRoy looks a little shocked. Quinn tries not to read too much into the fact they too were content to see Rachel Berry settle here for the rest of her life, when she's got so much still to give the world.

"Oh," Hiram finally says.

LeRoy blinks. "You're definitely going?"

Rachel nods, her hand loosely holding Quinn's. "We're definitely going," she confirms.

"When?"

"Sunday."

Hiram sucks in a breath. "That's… soon."

Rachel nods, because it really is. "Quinn will come back once we're all settled," she explains. "Just to handle whatever needs to be handled."

LeRoy shakes his head, as if he's trying to clear it. "And, you're sure about this?"

"I'm very sure," she says, her voice strong. "We're both very sure."

Quinn nods in solidarity. She is sure.

"Well, then," Hiram says. "That's great news, right? It is great news? How are the boys taking it?"

"Really well," Rachel answers. "I'm a little surprised, to be honest, but definitely relieved." She breathes out. "I think Hugo misses it, anyway."

Hiram looks at Quinn. "And Lex?"

"He's a soldier," she says. "We face things as they come."

They have many more questions, and Quinn tries to pay as much attention as she can manage. It's odd, watching as Rachel has to explain her decision to her parents. Quinn hasn't had to do that for years. Her own parents didn't care what she did beyond her getting into Yale. Quinn didn't care what they thought, either, willingly doing her own thing and not bothering to inform them.

Then, well, they washed their hands of her, and Quinn hasn't looked back since. She hasn't had a single person to answer to - other than Lex - since then, and watching Rachel with her fathers makes her so deeply uncomfortable, because Rachel is her own person and her own woman and an actual mother.

She thinks maybe that's what it's like to have parents who actually care about their child. It's just, well, they do know Rachel is an adult, right?

"Do you think I could have a word with you, alone?"

Quinn snaps to attention, realising LeRoy is actually speaking to her. "Excuse me?"

"A word," LeRoy says, getting to his feet.

Quinn raises her eyebrows in surprise, but stands as well, her hand slipping from Rachel's, parting with a final squeeze. She feels eyes on her back as she walks out of the room behind LeRoy, following him out onto the back deck.

Quinn doesn't say anything when he comes to a stop, and she's resigned to wait him out. She suspects what this could be about, but she's also trying not to jump to any type of conclusion.

"She's my baby girl," LeRoy eventually says. "I have watched her grow and blossom and struggle. She has fought hard and worked hard. She's succeeded and failed, been hurt and lost. She's - she's very special, Quinn."

Quinn knows that.

"Life hasn't been entirely kind to her," he says. "We worried so much when she was in New York, and we worry still, even having her under our noses. The idea of her leaving again is terrifying." He looks at Quinn. "Do you have her best interests in mind? Will you love and care for those children? Do you realise this isn't something she'll easily recover from if it doesn't work out? Do you accept this responsibility?"

Quinn arches an eyebrow, bristling slightly, because what the hell is this? "With all due respect, Sir," she says; "but is this a conversation you had with Brody?"

LeRoy looks away, saying nothing, which is answer enough.

"I love your daughter," Quinn says. "Maybe it's enough, maybe it's not. All I know is there isn't anything you can say to me I don't already know. I can make promises until I'm blue in the face, which I would do if I thought it would mean anything. We're planning on building a life together. A family." She clears her throat. "My intention is to give her the world. If she'll let me."

"She probably won't," LeRoy says.

Quinn laughs softly. "Then I'll help her reach for it herself."

The plan is relatively simple. The five of them will fly out from Columbus on Sunday, taking a limited amount of things and leaving everything else for further transport when the house is ready and waiting.

Rachel prepares them for all of it, getting the boys involved in packing boxes for the movers that Quinn will fly back to supervise in a few weeks. She makes comprehensive lists of what's staying and what's going, cataloguing all their furniture and compiling more lists of what they'll need to purchase once they're in New York.

Once they get the go-ahead from Rachel's friend in New York, Tina, Quinn sends through a formal offer on their chosen house, going in a few thousand under asking price. It's a lot of money for a lot of house, and Quinn makes her own plans for tailoring the house to their every need.

It's all so new and exciting, and Rachel drags her into a rather compromising position in the laundry room when their offer is accepted. Quinn barely has time to register what's happening before Rachel is clawing at her clothing and telling her how much she's wanted and how she's loved.

It's quick and dirty, and Rachel says, "Now, we couldn't leave this house without christening this room at least once," after all is said and done.

Quinn nods a little dumbly. "God," she breathes; "I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

They christen the room a second time.

And a third.

Saturday morning is spent having pancakes at Rose's, mainly because the house is largely already packed up and there will be no more actual cooking occurring again. It's also a little farewell of sorts, to say goodbye to Marley and the rest of the staff.

"You're leaving?" Marley asks, her eyes a little wide as she stares at the combined family.

Quinn nods, smiling gently. "The way I hear it, you're making your way out of here pretty soon, as well."

Marley sighs. "That's an entire year away," she says. "And that's only if I can scrape together the funds."

"Well, we believe in you," Rachel says.

"We really do," Lex adds.

Marley looks a little teary as she takes their final order, and then floats away. Quinn glances at Rachel, who also looks a little misty-eyed.

"Are you crying?" Quinn asks.

"No."

Quinn just hands her a paper napkin, and then rests a hand on her knee under the table.

Rachel smiles at her. "Thank you."

Quinn will admit to being a little emotional, as well. Rose's Diner is one of the highlights of Lima for her, and she finds she's going to miss this little slice of comfort.

And Marley, who seems like the most genuine person in this place. Quinn wishes the world for her, because it's obvious her dreams are beyond this town. If Quinn is willing to risk as much as she is to help Rachel reach her dreams, then she thinks she could do a little bit more to help Marley, as well.

Which is why, after endless pancakes and teary farewells, Quinn sends Rachel and the boys to the car while she settles the check. It's something she's had planned, sure, but she doesn't want anyone other than Marley to know. Quinn is all about making dreams come true.

Quinn removes an envelope from her back pocket, her hands shaking slightly. She knows what it's like, even though it's a little different. To have to find your own way, and fight for it.

She just wants to give Marley her best chance, and it's coming in the form of a rather large tip, which should help her college fund. Quinn slips the envelope into the little booklet with their food payment, and then gets to her feet and leaves.

If she rushes, well, she hopes nobody notices.

Rachel and the boys are already in the car, which is great for her, because they're already out of sight when Marley comes stumbling out of the diner, eyes wide and teary, facial expression one of shock.

And gratitude.

Quinn thinks she might have been prepared for travelling with three children and a hell of a lot of luggage, but she's really not.

It's an exhausting endeavour.

Rachel's fathers accompany them to Columbus in two cars, piled with their suitcases. They're going to oversee the movers when they come to collect the first batch of their belongings for the new house, and Quinn will handle the second load when she returns to Lima.

The farewell at the airport is an emotional one, with Hiram and Rachel both shedding a few tears and Hugo being a little clingy. But they're eventually off on their newest adventure, and Quinn can only hope no actual regret starts to sink in. That would be devastating.

Rachel tells her she loves her every few minutes, as if she can recognise that Quinn is probably wishing they'd shipped the children with their furniture. She doesn't, not really, but Max isn't handling the flight well, and Quinn has a fleeting thought that she could do with some nutmeg right about now.

Rachel just kisses her cheek again, tells her she loves her, and, by some miracle, they manage to land in New York, disembark and get to their hotel suite with their relationship still intact.

Rachel even makes fun of her for her obvious relief. Max is cranky and Hugo is weirdly excited, and Lex won't stop asking questions. Three children.

Three children.

Quinn almost tells Rachel they're not having any more, but that would be -

Well, Quinn's not sure that's something one can drop into casual conversation with a woman one's been dating for -

Then again, they're moving to New York together, to build a life and family, so Quinn shouldn't feel apprehensive about talking about their future. It's just a lot.

It's a hell of a lot.

"No regrets, right?" Rachel asks her, late at night, when the children are asleep and she's managed to crawl into bed without snapping at someone.

Quinn sighs, opening up her body and inviting Rachel into her space. "No regrets," she confirms. And then, because she just wants Rachel to smile, she says, "But, I swear, if my kid ends up a Yankees fan, I'm going to cry."

Rachel laughs softly, lifting her head to kiss Quinn's chin. "Louisa's close enough to make sure that never happens."

Quinn grins. "I can't wait to surprise them," she says. "They're going to freak out. Blue might even kill me."

"Because it's New York?"

Quinn nods, and then says, "I have no regrets," again. "Do you?"

Rachel kisses her mouth. "Not a single one."

Quinn, admittedly, wasn't sure how she would feel returning to this particular precinct after the amount of memories it holds. Not just about Louisa, but about Blair. Quinn believes she's largely over the relationship - she's too happy with what she has now not to be - but the sting of the end still lingers.

The Twelfth Precinct is bustling when she and Lex arrive, greeting Sergeant Wilkinson with excited smiles. She's definitely pleased to see Lex, giving him a high-five and asking him how he's enjoying his summer.

He's loving it, apparently.

"Is Detective Stone in?" Quinn asks, feeling a little strange using Louisa's title. But, she's earned it, and it deserves to be used.

"Should be at her desk," Sergeant Wilkinson says. "You remember where it is?"

"I do," Lex declares.

"He does," Quinn echoes, smiling indulgently. "Can we head on through?"

"Sure thing," she says.

Quinn shoots her one more smile, and then allows Lex to lead her away, through the bustling bullpen towards where they both know Louisa's desk is. It's a simple visit, meant to surprise their favourite redhead. Quinn hasn't mentioned their trip to New York, or even their intention to live there.

It's all part of the surprise.

Except, well, it's Quinn who ends up getting the surprise of her life. Because there's Louisa, casually sitting in her chair, feet resting on her desk and looking at someone sitting on said desk; smiling at said someone.

Said someone who Quinn would recognise anywhere.

Louisa sees them first, her feet dropping with a thud and her eyes widening. "Quinn?" she croaks, face suddenly pale.

Said someone turns, then, and Quinn is convinced she's going to be sick.

Lex freezes in front of her, and she just manages not to bump into him. "Blair?"

Quinn asks Sergeant Wilkinson to keep Lex occupied behind the front desk, because there are just things a young boy should never see his mother say or do.

Kill her best friend is one of them.

Quinn is angry and hurt and feeling betrayed and a lot confused, and what the hell is Blair doing here, Louisa?

Louisa's still wincing - whether from the question or the sound of her actual name, Quinn doesn't know.

"She's back," Louisa explains, watching as Quinn paces the little interrogation room they've commandeered. "I didn't think you'd want to know."

"Bullshit," Quinn snaps, and they both know she's right.

"Fine, yeah, maybe I should have told you she got back from assignment, but what good would it have done?" Louisa asks. "You called me saying you were happy and in love, and I was not going to derail that by telling you she was back."

Quinn can maybe accept that, but there's a lingering thought that Louisa didn't tell Quinn because she was expecting Quinn never to find out. And, God, the idea of Blair being back, here and at work with Louisa, and not even caring that Quinn and Lex weren't even in the city anymore... fuck, that hurts.

"How long has she been back?" Quinn demands.

"Does it matter?"

"How long?"

Louisa sighs. "I don't know," she says; "a couple of weeks."

Quinn's jaw clenches. "And?"

"And what?"

Quinn feels unsettled. She wants not to care, but she does. She wants to ask. She needs to ask, but she doesn't think she's strong enough to handle the idea that Blair arrived back in New Haven and didn't even ask after them. It would devastate her, and she hates that she's still this affected.

God.

"Quinn?" Louisa prompts.

"I don't even know what to say to you right now," Quinn says, her voice tense. "You should have told me."

Louisa looks at her, an unreadable expression on her face. "You've been through a lot of shit this year, Q," she says. "I'm sorry if you believe the fact I kept her away from you is some kind of betrayal."

"No!" Quinn snaps. "Don't pretend this was about me at all."

"What?"

"You were smiling at her," Quinn accuses. "You like having her back, after - after everything she - "

"Quinn," Louisa interrupts a little harshly. "She was my friend long before she was your girlfriend."

Quinn freezes, because that's not something she ever expected Louisa to say to her. Because Louisa was there for the aftermath; she watched Quinn and Lex struggle with the loss; sat there and listened to Quinn vent and cry and vow that Blair was the worst. And yet. "Oh."

Louisa immediately realises she's said the wrong thing, and she struggles to backtrack. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Like what?" Quinn asks, and then shakes her head, because it doesn't even matter. She's not doing this now. "Whatever. You're obviously busy with work or whatever it was you were doing. Leo and I should let you get back to it."

"Quinn, I - "

Quinn turns abruptly and swings open the door, unable to steady herself. She was fine. She is fine. She's happy and in love and she wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with Rachel, but even she can't ignore the fact she's shaken. Blair is back. That's something she knew would happen eventually, but she never quite allowed herself to think about what it would mean.

Quinn stalks through the bullpen, hating every person she sees, because they all probably know. They know who she is, and who Blair is and what happened, and yet they allowed her to walk into here unprepared.

Quinn marches to the front desk to retrieve Lex and get the hell out of here, but she halts at the sight of Blair standing and talking to Lex, who is telling her something rather excitedly. Her stomach churns at the sight, and she wants nothing more than to snatch her son away and run.

Run as far away from this place as possible. Exactly what she did the first time and what she knows she'll do again and again. She's been in toxic situations before, but she didn't know it was toxic until she was out of it.

She's supposed to have moved on, and, for the most part, she has. Just, there's a lot tied to Blair that Quinn's never really taken the time to deal with. So, no, she's really not okay with seeing Blair at all, let alone with her son.

When Lex spots her, he stops talking immediately, guilt in his eyes. He's always been with her, in her corner, and he knows what happened after Blair. They left the damn state.

Quinn doesn't even know what to say.

Lex ducks around Blair and moves towards Quinn. "Are we leaving?"

Quinn nods. "Do you have everything?"

Lex slips his hand into hers, anchoring her, and asks, "Do I also have to be angry with Aunt Lou?"

Quinn clenches her jaw and closes her eyes, her rage giving way to shame and confusion and so many other things she can't even put into words. "Of course not," she says, and releases his hand. "Go and say bye, okay? I'll meet you at the front."

Lex gives her one last uncertain look, and then takes off to somewhere behind her.

Quinn stands perfectly still, trying to get ahold of herself.

"Hello, Lucy."

Quinn turns her gaze to the right, where Blair is standing, her body screaming confidence, but her features hesitant. "I told you not to call me that," she says.

Blair shrugs. "I've never been good at doing what I'm told."

Quinn has a sarcastic remark sitting on the tip of her tongue, but she holds it in. She likes to think she's matured, but perhaps she hasn't as much as she should have.

"It's good to see you," Blair says. "Louisa wouldn't tell me where you'd gone."

Quinn tenses at the mention of Louisa, just wondering what it is about the entire situation that makes her so uncomfortable. Louisa and Jane have always been her found family, and she can't shake the feeling she's managed to lose that in some way.

Is it her fault? Because she moved. Because she found Rachel.

"Lex sounds happy," Blair points out, and Quinn wishes she wouldn't talk about her son.

Her son, who Blair made promises to, and just never kept. It's always played on Quinn's mind, and she wonders if Blair cares about that at all.

"I meant to contact you," Blair says. "After I left, I mean. Just to..." she trails off. "Well, I'm not sure what I was going to say. Sorry, maybe. Explain why I had to do this, for my career. For my future in the department."

It strikes Quinn then that, yes, Blair chose her career over Quinn and Lex, and Quinn is the one who made her. It bothers her that she wasn't willing to wait however long it took for Blair to make a name for herself. Was that selfish of Quinn? Maybe. Does she regret it? Not really.

Quinn's learned a lot about herself since then.

"Are you happy?" Blair suddenly asks.

Quinn looks at her, seeing a woman she spent a good chunk of time loving and barely recognising her. "Would you even want me to be?" she asks, genuinely curious.

"I want to say yes," Blair confesses. "That it shouldn't matter to me that you've managed to find a way to be happy without me."

Quinn bristles at the audacity of her. "Are you happy?" she asks in return.

"No," Blair answers with no hesitation. "Without you, how can I be?"

Quinn arches an eyebrow. "I thought a step up in the department was all you ever wanted, Detective Ricci," she says, merely an echo of the words Blair once yelled at her during one of their more colourful fights.

"I thought so, too," Blair says, and the look in her eyes is significant.

Quinn steps back.

Oh.

That's why Louisa never told her about Blair.

Well, it's probably part of it.

"It's really good to see you," Blair says, her voice dropping in volume.

Quinn shakes her head. She can't quite bring herself to say the same. Blair has always been a hurricane, and Quinn can't help wondering if she's stepped right into the eye of the storm.

Thankfully, Lex chooses that moment to return, a reluctant Louisa in tow. Quinn can barely look at her, so her eyes remain on Lex.

"Ready to go?" she asks him.

"Are we going to see Aunt Jane?"

Quinn audibly swallows. "That's the plan," she says. "It was meant to be a surprise."

"She'll be surprised," Louisa says, her tone careful. "She'll also be happy to see you."

Quinn suppresses her snarky reply. Instead, she reaches for Lex's hand. "Let's get out of here, Baby Shark."

Blair says, "I'll be seeing you," as Quinn turns away, and Louisa says, "No, you won't," in response.

Quinn ignores them both.

What the fuck?

Jane is happy to see them.

And surprised.

The beauty of working from home is Quinn and Lex can just show up and expect to find no actual further surprises. Which is a damn relief. Quinn doesn't think she can handle anything else.

Quinn isn't sure she's willing to find out if Jane also knows about Blair, but she's sure she figures it out just from Jane's reaction to the news she and Lex first stopped by the precinct.

"Oh?"

"Oh, indeed."

Jane stirs some sugar into her tea. "Is that why you look so frowny?"

Quinn gives her a blank look. "If you knew as well, then I'm also mad at you."

"No, you're not," Jane says. "And, frankly, if you're going to be mad at anyone, it should be at just me. I'm the one who told Lou not to tell you."

Quinn sighs, having figured that out for herself, because, as much as Louisa is assertive in her job, her marriage is very different. "Why?"

"Because we love you," Jane says. "We love you, and Lou has a warped sense of loyalty most days."

"She told me Blair was her friend long before she was ever my girlfriend," Quinn says, and her voice comes out smaller than she intends.

Jane's features soften in understanding. "No wonder you're so frowny," she says, pushing off the kitchen island and stepping into Quinn's space. "Like I said: warped sense of loyalty."

Quinn blinks. "She's not picking her?"

"Of course not."

Quinn keeps her gaze lowered. "It felt like it."

"She's Louisa," Jane says. "She's weird and crazy, but you and Lex are her family just as much as Chris and me." She presses her fingers to Quinn's sternum, glancing over her shoulder at where Lex and Christine are watching cartoons and blissfully unaware. "We are her family. You are my family. Blair is none of those things."

Quinn licks her lips. "I want Rachel to be."

"What?"

She clears her throat. "Rachel," she says, deciding this entire conversation requires the use of Rachel's actual name. "Hugo and Max. I want them to be my family."

Jane stares at her for the longest moment. "You want to marry her."

"She has to get divorced first but, one day, yes."

"Is that why you're here? To talk about it?"

"Well," Quinn says, blushing slightly; "I might have just done something crazy."

"Did you already propose?" Jane squeals.

"What? No."

"Oh."

Quinn wrings her fingers together. "I don't know if this is better or worse than that, but we've moved to New York. Together. We bought a house."

Jane's mouth drops open.

Quinn chuckles at her expression. "Crazy, huh?"

Jane shakes her head in disbelief. "A little, yeah," she agrees, but she's smiling. "Are you ready for that?"

Quinn doesn't hesitate at all when she says, "Ready as I'll ever be."

Jane says, "You know, when Louisa first told me Rachel was married, I was convinced you would run for the hills," and Quinn says, "I never even considered it."

Jane says, "I figured Rachel would have told you earlier," and Quinn says, "She definitely tried to, a handful of times."

Jane says, "It was so hard not just making sure you knew, when you were talking about your feelings for her in Bellafonte," and Quinn says, "How would - why would - did you - "

Jane says, "Quinn," and Quinn says, "You kept that from me, too?"

Jane says, "Quinn," but Quinn is already walking away.

Lex falls asleep on the train back to New York, his head resting on her upper arm, and Quinn uses the opportunity to think long and hard about what she wants out of her life.

Just out of the next few weeks, really.

It's simple.

Rachel, Hugo, Max and Lex.

A completed book.

An idea.

A happy family.

A safe home.

So many things.

She's still thinking about it when they pull into Grand Central Station, finding Rachel, Hugo and Max waiting for them with excited smiles and happy hugs. Quinn's heart does something when she sees them, and her eyes burn with the realisation that this life is hers.

Rachel kisses her, right there in the middle of their platform, and Quinn loves her so much. Loves them.

"Let's go home," Quinn says, taking Max from Rachel and getting them moving.

"Home," Rachel echoes sceptically. "The one that has no furniture."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "It has less effect if I say hotel," she says.

"Let's go to the hotel," Rachel says, and then frowns. "Damn, you're right."

Quinn grins at her.

"Let's go home."

Later, after they've put the boys to sleep and crawled into their own bed, Quinn says, "I need to talk to you about something."

Rachel sits against the headboard, her phone in her hand. "Let me just send this off to my Dad," she says; "then I'm all yours."

"You're all mine," Quinn echoes softly, turning that thought over in her mind. It's been a rather emotional day, and she's choosing her battles carefully. She'll deal with all the Louisa and Jane stuff later.

Now, though, she needs to deal with what Blair has brought up for her, and what it means for her relationship with Rachel.

Rachel finishes off her text, sets her alarm, and then gives Quinn her full attention. "There's something on your mind," she says. "Is everything okay?"

Quinn nods once. "It's nothing pertinent, not really, but it's something to say."

"I'm listening."

Quinn takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. "I did the right thing," she says. "I made the right choices, and I regret nothing, but I think I made them for the wrong reasons."

Rachel sits, quiet and patient, because it really is obvious something has been on her mind since their return from New Haven. Even Lex seemed a little subdued, and Rachel deserves to know why.

"I want you to be happy," Quinn says. "I also promised my son I would do everything in my power to make sure you stay."

Rachel's brow furrows, clearly unsure what Quinn is getting at.

"Blair chose her career over us," Quinn says. "She accused me of holding her back; of stopping her from reaching her dreams, all because I wouldn't agree to letting her go for an undercover assignment that could have ended up being a year long." Her eyes grow distant. "She left, anyway. In the middle of the night. I woke to an empty bed, and I couldn't - sometimes still can't - get over the fact someone who was supposed to love me could do that.

"When I told Baby about dating you, he was worried," Quinn says. "He was worried you would leave us too, if it didn't work out. That you would leave him, and so I promised him I would do everything in my power to make sure you stayed."

Rachel blinks, looking unsure.

"I can't bear the thought of being someone to hold you back," Quinn says. "And maybe that's why I pushed so much for this move. Did I? Did I force you?"

"Of course not," Rachel answers. "If anything, I forced myself, and I'm glad I did. I already feel like it was the right decision. I just had to get here, and you've given me the confidence and safety to reach for it."

Quinn looks helpless. "I - I could have given that to her," she says. "I don't want to make the same mistakes with you as I did with her."

"You won't."

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Quinn says firmly. "I don't care where we are or what we're doing, I just want to be with you and our family." She drops her gaze for a moment. "I want to work with you, and I don't want to be a person who gives you the kind of ultimatum you have to take."

"Quinn," she breathes.

"I love you," Quinn says. "I love you, and I don't ever want us to be apart. I don't ever want to let you go. But - but, I would, if that's what you needed, and I think I get the difference now. I mean, I always knew, subconsciously, but I understand it better. I wasn't willing to make that sacrifice for Blair and she took it anyway, but I would for you. In a heartbeat. I mean, I'm not saying that moving to New York is any kind of sacrifice, really, but I did it and I would do it over and over again, because you're different. We're different, and - "

"Quinn?"

Her eyes snap up, a little wide. "Yes?"

"I love you, too," Rachel says. "And, as lovely as this entire speech is, I just need to clarify that this isn't leading to some kind of breakup, right?"

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Of course not," she says, sounding almost petulant. "It's possibly headed in the other direction, though."

Rachel just stares at her.

Quinn smiles softly, her features giving away her affection, adoration and love.

Rachel clears her throat. "Again, I think I need the clarification because I could be reading this completely wrong, but this isn't a proposal, either, is it?"

Quinn falters slightly, but her smile is still present.

"Oh."

Quinn just leans forward to kiss her gently, and it is perfect. Everything is perfect. "Whenever you're ready, Rachel," she says, the sound of her name like music from Quinn's lips. "Whenever you're ready."

Fin

AN: There will be a sequel. I couldn't just leave it there, with so many things unresolved. I don't know when it's coming, but it will. Cool. Thanks for reading and all the other good stuff.