December 25, 2020

Ken stared blankly at the ceiling, frowning at his predicament. Today was the first day in three weeks that he could sleep in and not worry about his jobs. He should be out cold, sleeping in the comfort of his bed, sated with the knowledge that he worked enough hours to combat the rising price of his rent. But he wasn't. He hadn't fallen asleep since the moment he laid his aching, stiff body on the soft, warm mattress.

Ken pulled the covers closer to him as he shivered violently. Why was he so cold? Did he forget to set the thermostat again? He frowned at himself as he tried to get air into his lung. His chest felt too tight, almost to the point of suffocating. Was he having an asthma attack? He's been taking his medicine, hadn't he?

Ken sat up slowly, careful not to awaken Yukimi Botamon, and glanced at his nightstand. The red glow of the clock mocked him as it changed to 5:45 AM. Six hours. He had been awake for six hours, despite the exhaustion coursing through this body.

Sleep. All he wanted was to sleep.

Ken blindly looked around the nightstand. There was the dreaded clock, his lamp, his pistol, his journal, but no inhaler. Wait, what? He would have sworn he had it on him last night. Did he drop it?

A strangling coughing fit suddenly hit him with so much force that Ken felt whatever air he had in his lungs leave him completely. Winded, Ken staggered to his feet, the room spun violently as he staggered to the door. His movements were slow as he silently tried to suppress the coughing fits attacking him one after the other.

He needed his inhaler. He needed it now!

As Ken passed his son's room, the single father saw his son sleeping peacefully in his bed, while Takuya and Masaru slept on their futons in peaceful slumber. Despite his weakness, Ken smiled. For them, he would do anything.

Ken continued his descent down the hall, his eyes searching for the small red device that would reopen the passageway to his lungs. The sound of movement in the kitchen caught his attention. To his right, Ken noticed that the kitchen lights were on and that the fridge was wide open. Someone was looking through the fridge.

Ken took a few gulps of air, trying to breathe through the tightness in his chest, as he tried to remember who had been staying here. After the whole attempted break-in three years ago, they had all agreed being alone was not an option. Ken had been fine for the most part, Noriko had lived across the hall from him for many years. But she had moved in with her girlfriend about a year ago. He was happy for her. They all were.

Even when Noriko had been across from him, Daisuke, his brother, or one of the others made sure he, nor anyone else was alone. It was the buddy system as Taichi had called it.

Having Daisuke, his brother or Miyako around did make him feel safe, especially since they took care of Kouji while he was at work. Lately, however, Julieanna was one staying over more and more. Ken really did like Julieanna. She made him feel really happy, more than Kimura ever had. She was sweet, compassionate, and very loving to his son.

She never pushed him into a relationship. Julieanna knew Ken was not ready to open up his heart to someone else after she had somehow managed to piece together all the little pieces back together. Kouji was first. Ken would always put him first and she knew this. She did not push; she did not complain, nor protest, nor argue for she knew Ken would open up one day. Ken always had that lingering guilt in the back of his mind that he was disappointing her somehow.

"Ken?" Ken opened his eyes — when had he closed them? — and looked into warm, loving brown eyes. Julieanna, he realized, had been in the process of making egg omelets for everyone before he disturbed her. "You okay?"

He tried to speak, but his voice faltered. Why was it so hard to breathe? "J-Jul-ie-anna…" he wheezed out. "Can't… breathe…" and then his legs buckled under him.

Julieanna dropped the carton of eggs she had just pulled out of the fridge and rushed forward, catching him before he fell to the ground. "Ken, Ken, come on, try to breathe with me." Ken tried to, he really did, but it was so hard. He could barely get the air into his lung as the two of them sat together on the floor.

"Julie-anna," he managed to choke out, "in-hal-er." Despite barely getting the words out, Julieanna was quick to understand.

"Right, right. You left it on the table after you finished eating that new soup Daisuke wanted you to try out." Julieanna got to her feet and quickly disappeared out of the kitchen.

Ken sat on the floor in silence as he tried to concentrate on his breathing. With each breath he struggled to take, the weaker he got from the lack of oxygen entering his lungs. He closed his eyes as the room began to spin once more. He tried to calm down, tried to take a breath, but… he couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He wrapped his arms around himself. Cold. Everything was so cold.

"Here." Julieanna was by his side once more, supporting him as she placed the mouthpiece between his lips and pressed the puffer down. As the medicine entered his lungs, Ken felt his airway opening up, allowing him to breathe once more. Julieanna remained by his side, watching him carefully, making sure he didn't need another dose of medicine or a trip to the hospital.

"Thank you," Ken said fifteen minutes later, his head resting on her shoulder.

Julieanna was silent. Tired amethyst glanced up at her. She was frowning as she gently felt his flushed cheeks first and then his forehead. "Oh, dear. You're burning up." A fever? Well, that would explain the sudden asthma attack and why he felt so cold despite the thermostat reading 80°F. Then again, he had been a bit off all week. "I really wish you wouldn't push yourself like this."

Ken averted his gaze. "Sorry, didn't mean to worry you."

"Of course, I'm going to worry! I worry about you every day!" Her voice rose just a bit. "I can't stand seeing you struggling to pay a greedy landlord that just keeps rising the rent 5000 yen every three months. You're suffering and I hate it!" Julieanna's voice lowered to barely above a whisper. "I love you, Ken. Please, just let me help you."

Ken sighed. He should have realized she would not take no for an answer. "I-I can't take your money. You worked so hard for it. It wouldn't be right."

"It's not taking when I'm giving it to you, Ken-kun." She smiled slightly. "I've been working since I was five, remember. I have enough money from all the photoshoots, other minor gigs, and commercial royalties to retire early."

"Why don't you?"

"I love what I do. Yes, one day I would like to settle down and have a family. But you are not ready to let me in. Kouji will always be your world. You will always put him first over me and I'm okay with that." Ken returned his gaze to her, puzzled slightly. "You are not ready to let me into your inner core and that's okay. I can wait. But I will not stand by any longer and watch you slowly work yourself to death just to keep a roof over your head and food on the table for you and the boys."

Ken knew what she was going to say. It was a conversation they had once before, but Ken could not get a word in. "I am going to pay all your bills and pay what needs to be paid to cancel your lease early. You are going to quit your second job and come live with me at my three-story mansion. You are going to take care of yourself, Ken. I am not going to take no for an answer."

Ken was getting a very familiar sense of deja vu. Hadn't Daisuke done something similar to this at one point? "I don't have much say in this, do I?" Ken's shoulders sagged. He knew he lost this argument. Besides, he didn't have the strength to argue with her.

"Of course you do!" Julieanna was flustered now. She took a moment to calm herself before speaking again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. It's just that I'm afraid I'll wake up one day and you'll be passed out somewhere or having an asthma attack like the one you just had and I'm not there to help you."

Ken was silent as she spoke. He could hear the fear in her voice and can see the concern in her eyes. He felt the warm feeling return and at that moment he wanted to chase those fears away. He wanted to hold her and kiss her until everything was okay.

Ken closed his eyes. Could he be falling for her? Well, it wouldn't be the worse thing that's happened to him and Julieanna did say she loved him. She had for many years now. She was just waiting for him. She would always wait for him.

"You haven't slept at all, have you?"

He opened his eyes. Before he could answer he was hit by another round of coughs. "No… cold."

Julieanna nodded in understanding. "Come on. Let's get you to bed." Julieanna helped him to his feet, supporting him as he swayed unsteadily. The walk back to his room was slow and exhausting. Ken all but collapsed onto the bed once it was in reach. The movement, however, awoken Yukimi Botamon from his peaceful slumber.

"Yuki?!"

"It's okay, Yuki. Ken's just not feeling well," she explained to the small Digimon, who shifted closer to his father in concern. Ken felt the small body pressing against his heated flesh. It felt so nice. "I'll be right back." Then she was gone, leaving him alone with his adopted son.

"Yu-ki. Yuki?" Ken sighed softly as Yukimi Botamon rubbed himself against his cheek.

"I'm sorry I woke you. I was trying not too." The small Digimon just rubbed his small cool body against his cheek in reassurance. Ken must have dozed off at some point because the next thing he knew Julieanna was shaking his shoulder lightly.

"Hmm?"

"Open your mouth. I'm going to check your temperature." Ken did what he was told. His movements were slow, his limbs felt heavy and he couldn't react as quickly as he probably should. Ken was only vaguely aware of Julieanna frowning slightly as she placed the cold metal tip of the thermometer under his tongue.

Minutes went by with Julieanna looking more and more worried as she watched the number on the digital thermometer rise. When she removed it, she gasped. Yukimi Botamon stopped rubbing his small body against his cheek to look up at her with wide frightened eyes.

105°F flashed on the small screen. Ken closed his eyes, uncertain if that was a bad sign or not. "His temperature too high! We need to cool him down!" Yukimi Botamon got straight to work, touching other parts of his face and occasionally blowing cool puffs of air onto his face in an attempt to cool him down as Julieanna rushed out of the room. Julieanna soon returned minutes later with a bowl of water and a towel.

She unbuttoned his nightshirt and began wiping down his chest with the damp towel. Ken flinched from the sudden change of temperature. "Cold."

The frown never left her delicate features. "I know, I'm sorry," she said as she continued to wipe down his chest. "Your fevers spiked dangerously high. I need to cool you down before you end up in the hospital." Julieanna and Yukimi Botamon continued to work in silence with the two occasionally switch areas to make sure every piece of visible skin was cooled down. Ken closed his eyes as Julieanna began gently working on his face. The damp towel was starting to feel nice now.

"I think that's good for now." Julieanna placed the towel back into the bowl and slowly shifted him into a sitting position so that he could take some medicine for the fever. Julieanna tipped a cup of cough syrup into his mouth, followed by a glass of water. He grimaced at the strong taste. "I'm going to let you rest for a while."

Julieanna pulled up the sheets after he got into a comfortable position. "Try to get some rest. I'll be back to check up on you in a little bit." Ken closed his eyes as he felt her place the damp towel on his forehead. Her finger lingered on his temple for a minute too long, providing him with the comfort that she wouldn't be far away.

The feeling was then gone. "Call me if his condition changes or if he wakes up. I'll be just down the hall."

"Yuki!" Ken could almost imagine the Digimon saluting to the elder woman before snuggling up against his exposed chest. The sound of feet against floorboards began to grow distant as Julieanna turned off the lights and left the room. With Julieanna's warm presence gone, leaving him alone once more, Ken traveled through the waves of his fever as he fell into a feverish sleep.

"Look, it's snowing!" Kouji looked out his window, watching the small white snowflakes as they fell to the ground gracefully, almost like a dance. The four-year-old was mesmerized, he wanted to play in the snow with Masaru and Takuya, and Yuki. Masaru and Takuya were right next to him, watching the snow with him as the sun rose high into the sky, but Yuki was in his father's room and Kouji was reluctant to disturb his father.

Ken didn't look so good last night when he came home from work. Kouji had pretended to be asleep when he was supposed to be sleeping. Kouji had simply wanted to make sure his father was okay. He had been working so much lately and he had been so upset about something that it worried the young Minamoto.

He had watched his father stagger into the apartment, almost as if he was in pain. Not only had he looked so very tired, but he was also really pale. Kouji gripped his favorite stuffed wolf tightly to his chest. He had heard his father trying to suppress a cough last night. Actually, now that he thought about it, the coughing had not stopped until early this morning.

And speaking of this morning, his father seemed to be struggling to breathe as he passed by his room several hours ago. It had kinda scared him. He knew his father had asthma, the result of someone setting a house he and his partner had been investigating ablaze while the two were still inside last year.

Kouji had only seen his father get an asthma attack once when his uncle was here. He had been terrified. He could have lost his father and that terrified him.

"You think Julieanna will let us wake Ojisan now?" Takuya asked, hopefully. They hadn't wanted to open their presents until his father was awake. It was now three in the afternoon and his father had yet to leave his room. Masaru and Takuya had been talking about waking him up, but Julieanna had made it clear during breakfast that Ken was very unwell and needed rest.

They had spent the last nine hours playing Masaru's made up games and some video games Daisuke had given him for his birthday. They had been very patient, especially after hearing Julieanna fretting on the phone with someone named Kido for the past two hours. Should he be worried?

"Maybe we should check up on him." The two looked up to Masaru. Masaru, being the oldest of the three, often made tough decisions in their small group. "It wouldn't hurt, right?

"I guess," Kouji admitted. "But Mama said to not bother him."

"But Kouji, it's been hours already," Takuya whined. "He should be awake by now and bored out of his mind."

"Even the more reason to let Papa sleep," Kouji stubbornly countered. "I think he's really sick, guys. I heard him struggling to breathe earlier." Masaru's eyes grew wide, frightened, concerned.

"An asthma attack? Are you sure?" Masaru questioned. He shrugged. He wasn't sure if his father really did go into a full-on asthma attack. Julieanna hadn't said anything about that, so he guessed his Papa must be fine. The fever was the only thing she kept mentioning when she was on the phone with one of his Papa's friends.

"Come on," Masaru jumped off the bed and made his way over to the door, "let's go check up on him!" Takuya was quick to follow after him.

"Wait, Masaru, Takuya! We should really let him rest!"

"If he really did have an asthma attack, we need to make sure he's okay." Kouji frowned as he rushed after him. After Masaru's father's disappearance, Ken had taken up the role of being the father figure Masaru and his sister needed.

"But Masaru!"

Masaru was not listening now. He was determined to get to his segregated father's room. The three of them ran past the dining room and the kitchen, unknowingly passing a pile of bills left on the dining room table, and down the hall. As they approached his father's bedroom, they could hear Yuki's worried little squeaks as he looked at the thermometer in Ken's mouth.

"Godfather!"

"Ojisan!" The two adults and the small Digimon jumped slightly as Masaru suddenly barged into the room with him and Takuya right at his heels. Ken, who was unable to talk due to the thermometer in his mouth, looked at them in concern as Julieanna jumped to her feet, accidentally knocking the glass of water off the nightstand. The contents of the glass somehow missing Ken and ended up drenching Yuki.

The boys flinched at the loud screech Yuki produced as he propellered himself into Ken's warm embrace.

"Oh my god, Yuki! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Yuki made small squeaky noises, but refused to leave Ken's arms. It took several minutes to calm him down, but somehow his father managed to do it without words.

"What's gotten into you three?" Julieanna asked as she removed the thermometer from Ken's mouth.

"Sorry, we heard you had an asthma attack. We were worried it was as bad as the last time," Takuya said as he shifted from foot to foot.

The two adults looked at each other. Something passed between the two of them, but Kouji wasn't sure what. "Who told you that?" Julieanna asked. She didn't seem upset, just concerned. "Was it your imaginary friend again?"

Takuya glanced at him, but before he could confess Masaru spoke up. "It was me. I heard you passing by the room this morning. It sounded like you were having trouble breathing." Masaru's bottom lip trembled slightly. "Is it true? Did you really have an asthma attack?" Ken frowned slightly, half worried, half guilty, even though this was something he couldn't control.

"Come here, boys." They all climbed onto his bed and snuggled close when Ken opened his arms. Ken kissed his forehead softly. From up close, Kouji could feel the slight dampness of his father's nightshirt and the heat coming off his father's skin. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, boys."

"So it's true?" Kouji asked, clinging to his father slightly.

"Yeah, it true. I pushed my body more than I should have," he said sheepishly. "I ignored my body's desire for rest. That's why I got an asthma attack. But I'm okay, now. Julieanna's been taking care of me."

"Mama?" Kouji blinked, looking at Julieanna with a bright smile. "Thank you, Mama!"

Julieanna blushed slightly. "I didn't do anything special." She grabbed the empty cup of tea Ken had been drinking earlier and the empty glass of water.

Kouji just hugged his father. "So Papa 'kay now?"

Julieanna smiled softly at him. "His fever went down to 102," she reassured as she placed the thermometer on the nightstand. "He still has a fever, but it's definitely an improvement from his morning."

Ken smiled weakly. "I should hope so, I've been sleeping most of the day."

"Does that mean we can open the presents now?" Takuya and Masaru looked at Julieanna hopefully.

"I don't know. Ken is still not well enough to get out of bed yet." Their faces fell. "But we can open them here, while Ken has his lunch, if he's well enough for that."

"I think I'll be okay."

"Alright," the boys yelled as they ran out of the room with Julieanna close behind. Kouji rested his head on his father's chest, listening to the sound of his heart. The sound of his heartbeat was very comforting. His Papa was not gone. He was not leaving him.

"I love you, Papa."

"I love you too, son."

"Yuki!" Yuki — deciding he had spent enough time on Ken's pillow, silently—jumped on Kouji's head, messing up his hair.

"Yuki!" Ken chuckled slightly at his surprised yelp.

"I love you too," Ken said as he scratched behind Yuki's ears. "Would you like to get the gift for me?" he asked after several minutes passed by. Yuki squeaked and dove straight for the closet, where he returned with a small gift wrapped in blue paper in his mouth.

Ken took the present and gave it to him. "Merry Christmas, Kouji." Kouji took the present and held it in his hands. "I had wanted to give it to you this morning," he managed to say before he had to turn around to cough onto his arm.

"Papa!"

Wheezing slightly, Ken took two puffs of his inhaler. His father laid back down on his pillow. "I'm okay. I'm okay. I just need to rest some more." He smiled weakly at his son. "Why don't you open your present, Kouji?"

"Okay." Kouji slowly opened the present. Even when he was sick, his father always put him first.

As he opened the box, he gasped. Within the small brown box was a blue bandana. "Thank you, Papa."

"My mother loved collecting those. I could never get into it… I wished I had." He smiled sadly. He really missed her. "It was one of the few things I have left of her. I know you will take good care of it."

"I will! I promise!" He hugged him tightly, feeling arms wrapping around him. "Merry Christmas, Papa."

"Merry Christmas, Kouji."