It was late evening at the thousand sunny, they had left cake island this afternoon. So much had happened… In such a little time.
After they had left cake island, Sanji had cooked dinner for his crew. Well those whom were onboard.
It had felt good, cooking. And seeing Luffy's grin as he gobbled up everything he got served, Chopper crying in pure happiness over the meal, Brook laughing his famous laughter declaring his next music piece would be a tribute to this amazing meal. And of course the beautiful Nami-Swan offering him a wink.
That… had made it all worth it. It had felt good.
Now though, the dishes had been cleaned, most of the crew had gone to bed. Sanji though was sitting in the dark of the cabin, inhaling on his cigarette as he glanced at the little ember that lighted up in orange as he sucked, and then he exhaled a cloud of smoke.
His body started to lightly shake, then Sanji shook his head trying to calm his nerves.. It was over now. They couldn't touch him! He was with his true family not those… Sanji squinted his eyes.
Just then the door opened slightly letting in a breeze of fresh air and Sanji looked up. "Nami-san!" he gasped by the sight of a red haired beauty.
Nami smiled gently. "There you are Sanji-kun."
At ones Sanji stood up, almost knocking down the chair. "Can I help you? Do you need anything?" he asked. "Tea? Biscuits?" he asked. "Did you have enough to eat? I can fix you something light I.."
"I'm fine Sanji." Nami assured. "I just wondered how you were doing?"
Sanji halted, a bit unsure. Normally he would have been over the moon that Nami had been thinking about him, and been worried about him it seemed. But right now, he was in a different mindset.
"Tea sounds nice though, will you drink a cup with me Sanji-Kun?" Nami asked in her sweetest smile.
"HAI!" Sanji yelled. "Always!" and he almost jumped for the kettle to put over some water as Nami amused shook her head walking over to the table and borrowed Sanjis lighter to light the candle.
It was kind of romantic actually, just Nami and Sanji alone in the cabin with tea and a single living candle! While all the rest were a sleep no less. Sanji smiled to himself as he didn't even hesitate to find the best tea he had, and arranged a small platter of fruit. He was almost humming as he was peeling the tangerines as Nami finally spoke.
"You never told any of us you had a family."
Sanj froze, just froze as he stood with his back to Nami.
"I know you were originally from the north blue, I guess I just thought you were an orphan like most of the rest of us." Nami continued. "Still, three brothers and a sister. That's pretty big right?"
"Nami-Swan." Sanji spoke in a quiet voice as he peeled the tangerine. "You know I adore you above all else. I just… They are not my family. Those men are not my brothers, he is not my father."
Nami was quiet. "And Reiju?" she finally asked.
"Is the exception." Sanji admitted. "She's the only one that... " he halted. "I never wanted to see any of them again, I hope I will never have to see or hear of them again. I want nothing from them. I just want them to leave me alone." he informed as he turned around, only to regret it because what he saw, were Namis big brown eyes. Looking so sad as they looked at him. "Please don't look like that." he asked. "I don't want to make pretty ladies sad, I want to make them happy."
"I'll be happy when I know you're all right." Nami informed. "I told you, I wasn't going to forgive you for making me worry! And now I am still worried. That's unforgivable."
Sanji gasped, his eyes wide as Nami continued.
"I am still not sure what happened exactly."
"And you don't need to know." Sanji assured. "It's for the better, trust me."
Nami sighed. "I wont force you to tell me. But it seems to me like you need to get some things off your chest. And well, I just wanted you to know, that I am here." she chewed her lip a bit awkwardly glancing the other way.
Sanji smiled sadly as he removed the kettle from the stove and poured water into the tea pot. "You have a kind heart, Nami-swan." he stated as he finished pouring and finally put the lid on the pot. Then finally brought both tea and fruit to the table and put it down. "Honestly, there's not much to tell." he stated. "Judge Vinesmoke is just the man who impregnated my mother, and I just happen to be the result of that affair. He's not my father."
"Sanji, clearly this is bothering you." Nami stated.
And Sanji kept quiet. His mouth a thin line.
"And you went with them?" Nami asked. "Why? And you just did what they told you to do. That doesn't seem like you at all."
Sanji squinted his eyes as he hissed.
"Sanji you're shaking." Nami realized.
"I... I don't mean to." Sanji assured. "I... I... I just." he closed his eyes.
"So it's still bothering you." Nami concluded.
And Sanji just blurted. "Of course it is! I thought I was rid of him, then he just… Invades me life as if he has any right!" He exclaimed. "I ran away from home when I was just a scrub, he told me to never call myself a Vinesmoke, that I wasn't his son. And I was glad, I was rid of him! Then suddenly out of no-where, they just show up! Threaten to kill my real family if I didn't come with them, put explosives on my hands to make sure I stayed in line. Stuff all of their shit into my face! Creating mindless clones that can be used as cannon fodder?! He was creating life to make it disposable, and stuffed it into my face! It was disgusting! And then beat me to shit to make sure I was submitting probably. Because if I didn't submit, everything I care about could vanish! They were willing to go so low! What is there to stop them from trying again?! How can I know I am actually rid of them?!" he asked.
Nami looked stunned at Sanji. Sanji halted and then suddenly he realized, realized what he had just said. "No! Sorry, forget I said that."
"Threatened to kill your real family?" Nami asked. "What did you mean by that Sanji?"
"It's not important." Sanji assured. "Just, forget all of it! Please!"
"It is!" Nami insisted. "TELL ME!" she demanded. "Sanji."
Sanji looked at Nami, then he deflated as he closed his eyes, he reached into his pocket and found a single cigarette. "The Vinesmokes control most of the North blue, they have armies. Two targets." he informed. "One." he held up a finger. "The Strawhat crew, two." he held up a second finger. "The Barratie… If I didn't come, they would launch an attack. Against both. It would have been devastating. I couldn't.." he swallowed. "I could not… I just." he was shaking as he tried to light his cigarette but he couldn't turn it on, his hands were just shaking to much, he hissed and sniffed then shouted in frustration as he covered his eyes and cried.
Then suddenly, a gentle pair of arms wrapped themselves around Sanjis shoulders. "It's okay." Nami whispered. "It's okay."
"Nami-swan." Sanji breathed.
"No one should ever be kept prisoner like that, be a slave..." Nami breathed. "I know, I did what-ever Arlong asked me to do so he wouldn't hurt my real family. I understand."
And Sanji sniffed. He just broke, he couldn't keep it together. "When I was a child… I wasn't like the others." he began.
Nami was quiet, just quietly held Sanji.
"When my mother was pregnant with my brothers and my sister, my father did something to her. To alter the pregnancy, to make them stronger." Sanji breathed. "When she was pregnant with me, he tried to do it again. But she wouldn't have it, she drank poison to counter the affect, and I was born normal. She how-ever, never recovered. She was very very sick when I was a child, and then when I was six she finally passed away."
Still Nami didn't speak, just held Sanji.
"I… I wasn't like the others, not strong like them, not logical like them." Sanji sniffed. "I liked it when I could make my mother smile, she smiled when I cooked for her. I thought it would be great if… If I could make others smile like that to. Judge didn't approve, I was punished for my disobedience, for my attempting to cook… Finally after mother died, he just locked me away. In a cold and dark cell. Bastard even covered my face so no one could see what kind of weakling his so called son turned out to be! I couldn't get out… I couldn't..." he sniffed. "I was scared, I couldn't take it anymore… I just wanted to be gone from that place. Far… Far away. Go to the all blue, like mother told me about. If I could just go to the all blue."
Namis arms around Sanjis neck tightened.
"Then… Then Reiju came, she broke me out. I ran… Ran away. I thought I had gotten away, but there Judge was. I was so scared that he would take me back."
"Then what happened?" Nami asked.
"He said to me… I was doing him a favor." Sanji breathed. "If I ran and died at sea, then at least I would safe him the trouble of soiling his own hands with my blood. I was just to swear, to never… Never call myself a Vinesmoke, or even mention them… He really hoped I was going to die out there so he could act like I never existed. That is… Until he had a use for me. Over a decade after."
Nami sighed deeply as she kept her arms around Sanji. "Sanji, if there is something you proved these last few days. Then it is you're stronger than him. Much… Much stronger. You are so much stronger, and so much better. Than all of them. You outgrew them, I hope you know that."
Sanji nodded slowly. "Part of me knows, and it feels good." he admitted. "How-ever, there's still this part of me. It's like I haven't grown at all, and I'm scared of that big nasty brute. Pretty pathetic isn't it?"
"No." Nami assured. "I am pretty sure that if I were to face Arlong again now, I could beat him myself. But he had power over me for so long… He still sometimes keeps me up at night."
"I have managed to not even to think of them for ten years." Sanji sighed. "To me, they were from a different life. I had left, I was never going to go back. I was never going to act like they existed. I was happy about it being that way. Just forget it... All of it. It had nothing to do with me. Now… I can't stop thinking of them." he shook lightly.
"If they dare do something, we'll kick their asses. You know that right?" Nami asked. "Luffy wont let you or the barratie get hurt. I mean, it's a place that gave him free food. He'll defend it to the end."
Sanji smiled amused. "That's a good point." he admitted.
Nami smiled as she gave him a final squish then finally let go and walked to her own seat, to finally pour up some of the tea Sanji had made for her. "You know, you are absolutely nothing like the Vinesmokes."
"Oh?" Sanji asked.
"They are sadistic and cruel, with no thought for others, only thinking about themselves. You are the complete opposite." Nami stated. "You are kind and generous, always putting others before yourself. Even the men." she smirked. "If anything proves that... It's that you actually went back for them. You didn't need to safe them, you didn't need to care. All the things you are saying, I can see you really mean it. But you still wouldn't just let them die." she looked up. "You're an amazing person Sanji."
Sanjis eyes widened, then he looked away. "I don't know, it's kind of pathetic. The exact kind of behavior Judge would call weak."
"He's wrong, Sanji!" Nami stated. " You should never listen to a word he says."
"I know, sorry." Sanji sighed. "Mother never agreed with him either. She wanted me to be kind."
"Is it because of her you don't kick women?" Nami asked.
"No." Sanji shook his head. "It's because Zeff taught me not to. You remember Zeff right, from the Barratie."
"Your father, yes I remember." Nami smiled sweetly.
Sanji halted, but then he smiled. Finally finding a second cigarette. "Yeah, old geezer taught me everything I know. About cooking, about fighting, about manners." he stated trying to use his lighter again, this time successfully. "He cared about me, and wanted to make sure I would become a strong and good person. I wonder how he's doing." he reflected.
"Why don't you send him a letter?" Nami asked.
"You know… I think I might." Sanji breathed. "To bad they can't reply, us always being on the move an all. But at least. There are things I ought to tell him I think. It's about time. Also before the posters gets out." his face contorted. "I want to tell him myself."
Nami nodded understanding. "Not even Zeff knew you had blood relatives."
"No." Sanji sighed then wishfully looked into the air.
"Sanji?" Nami asked.
"I can't help but wonder..." Sanji hesitated. "Judge, he changed my mothers pregnancy. Engineered the developing babies, so they would have strong bodies but also not be held back by such things as feelings." he folded his hands. "I can't help but wonder. What would they have been like, what kind of people would they have been... If Judge had just left them alone?" he asked. "And... If my mother hadn't drunk the poison, if I had been born the way Judge intended. What kind of person would I have been?"
"It's so cruel." Nami whispered. "He took your brothers away from you even before you got a chance to meet them." she swallowed. "I... I'm just glad he didn't take you to." she reached out a hand, and gently put it on top of Sanjis.
"They died in the womb huh?" Sanji asked. "Yeah... " he nodded.
"Sanji, are you okay?" Nami asked still holding his hands.
"No." Sanji finally admitted. "I'm not... I.. I'm sad, and I'm angry." he sighed. "I can't even control my body I am shaking so badly. I wish I could just forget all about it again. I feel so weak, I couldn't even stop them by myself."
"You feeling weak?" Nami asked. "Wow, that's odd to hear." she admitted.
Sanji smiled lightly.
"You always seem so strong to me, and dependable." Nami commented in a slight smile. "Now you sounded a bit like Usopp."
"Heh." Sanji shook his head. "Honestly, he used to remind me of myself." he admitted. "I know what it's like, feeling weak and useless. What was really impressive about Usopp though, he didn't let it stop him. It really reminded me of the past, how hard it was. But also how I had just needed to press on. That's also how I knew he could make it. He was like me, he could make it."
"And in turn." Nami smiled. "You are like him, you can make it through this." she stated not having let go of Sanjis hand for a moment. "You know, Usopp told me something ones. When he repaired my clima-tech ones again."
"Yeah?" Sanji asked.
"He told me... None of us can do this alone. No one can do any of this alone. You do what I can't do... And I do what you can't do." Nami smiled amused. "I thought it was such a smart thing to say. Then he told me, someone really amazing told him that."
"Did he really?" Sanji asked.
"Yeah." Nami smiled a mischievous smile. "One of the most amazing people he ever met. Wonder who that could be huh? I wonder if I ever get to meet such an amazing person."
Sanji chuckled amused. "One can only hope."
Nami smiled. "You are here now, where you belong. With your nakama."
"Yeah." Sanji smiled lightly. "Thank you Nami-swan, you really are something."
"Hey." Nami smirked. "We are in this together, all of us. We are the Strawhat pirates."
And Sanji nodded. "Hai."
Old Geezer.
I am writing you this letter because I have a confession to make.
There is something I should have told you long ago, and my regret now is that I am not able to tell you this in person at this time.
I owe you everything. I don't even think you realize how much, more than just my life. Because of you, I am a person I don't hate. I don't hate myself.
I was in a real shitty situation just recently and I hated myself so much. But I kept remembering what you taught me and now… I don't hate myself anymore.
My biological family showed up. Yes, I have a biological family and they are still alive. The last time I saw my biological father when I was a little runt, before we even met. He made me swear to never reveal my origins or my ties to this family.
It's a promise I kept, until now. I even kept it from you.
My full name is Vinesmoke Sanji. I am the son of a king who rules the North Blue, Vinesmoke Judge. He has four children. Three sons, one daughter. These are my three biological brothers and my biological sister.
How-ever… They are not my family. They are real shitty. So no, I don't count myself as one of his sons.
Before I was born, Vinesmoke judge was obsessed with creating the perfect heirs, so he decided to perform experiments on my mother. Biologically engineering the children inside of her womb to become ultimate super soldiers.
In the case of my brothers it worked. I how ever came out normal, a normal human being. Because of this I was basically considered a failed experiment.
I lacked the strength Judge desired, and I dared to have a mind of my own not just blindly following his demands.
My wishes and dreams did not fit with his vision, so I was disposable and he got rid of me, it's after that we met.
That man, Vinesmoke judge. He taught me nothing. I am happy he didn't accept me because I fear if he had raised me, I would have become such a shitty person. A person I would not be able to stand. Even worse, a person you would not be able to stand. The kind of person you would toss out of your restaurant in less than a second. A narcissistic asshole only looking for trouble with no manners and no gratitude.
No words can describe, how thankful I am, that I am not that person! That I got to have you as a father.
The all blue is out there and I am going to find it. Come meet me there.
Sanji.
Zeff swallowed as he put down the letter, he too really wished Sanji was there. In this very moment, he just wanted to reach out and embrace that boy tightly. Then he sniffed, cursing that tears were flowing from his eyes. "Shitty beansprout." he commented drying his eyes with his hand.
