A/N: I really hope this fic finds an audience because I spent most of the past year working on it. What just started as a "hey that's a fun title let's just putz around with this" experiment turned into a monster fic. This is easily the longest thing I've ever written. And dare I say I have more respect for George R. R. Martin after dealing with his timeline and characters, because oof, there's a lot going on. I know there will be some GoT fans that will be disappointed because I just couldn't give every character a big role, although I tried to give everyone a moment. Well, here we go. I have the whole thing written and revised, so I'll just be posting as I edit.

"It's done, my sister," said Viserys. "Tomorrow you will meet the man you will marry."

"Okay, brother," said Dany. She knew better than to say anything else. Any protest, and Dany would awake the dragon. Besides, Dany had a duty to her family to restore their dominion in Westeros, and if that meant being a child bride to a savage Dothraki, well, that meant being a child bride to a savage Dothraki. It would be a temporary arrangement anyways. Once they conquered Westeros again, Viserys could get rid of the savages and arrange a much more suitable husband for her. And if that meant marrying her abusive, brother, well...well, shit. Maybe this Dothraki guy wouldn't be so bad after all.

Viserys proceeded with his list of what she could and could not do, which was extensive. Did he seriously just say Khal Drogo wouldn't know a word of Westerosi?

"How will I talk to him?" Dany asked.

Viserys threw his head back and laughed. "Talk? Talk?! My dear sister, the man doesn't want to talk to you! He wants to, ahem..." Viserys grabbed Dany's boob. "You are a woman now," he said creepily.

Am I? she thought. I bled out of my vagina once, and that makes me a woman? Pretty low standards if you ask me.

She realized Viserys still had his hand on her boob, and she pushed it away with a cough. He proceeded to talk to her about the things Khal Drogo would want to do to her.

"Stop, brother, I already know about sex. You talk to me about it all the time!" Dany protested. "Like, all the time all the time."

"Just making sure," said Viserys. "You need to please him, you know, sister. If you can't please him, then the deal will be off, and you know what that means?"

"You'll find someone else with an army to marry me off to?" Dany asked.

"Uhhh," said Viserys. "I guess. I was gonna say awake the dragon."

Dany rolled her eyes. "Well, I want to go to sleep."

"Why don't I lie with you tonight? To help you get used to sleeping next to a man," said Viserys.

"Ummm," Dany said uncomfortably.

Master Illyrio knocked on the door. "Viserys? I have some things I need to discuss with you."

"Ugh," said Viserys. "Okay, coming!"

Viserys left Dany's room, and Dany breathed a sigh of relief. She locked the door, reached under her bed, and pulled out a bottle of wine. Master Illyrio had a full cellar of wine. He never missed a bottle when Dany decided she needed to drink, which was increasingly often as she grew older and increasingly aware of her predicament.

Morning came, and Dany was hung over. She wondered what time it was since she tended to sleep in whenever she drank. She was unsure when she was supposed to meet Khal Drogo, but she knew a hot bath would be just the thing to wake her up. She went to the kitchen for a drink of water and some fruit and bread, then to the bathroom. She drew her bath from the hottest of waters, for she was the blood of the dragon, and boiling was the most comfortable temperature.

She removed her clothes and stepped into the bath, and then, the window flew open with an enormous gust of wind and a mighty roar.

Dany cowered, but once the rush was over, she lowered her arms and saw, staring at her through the window, a great green dragon with orange eyes and horns.

"V-V-Viserys!" she stammered. This was impossible. Everyone knew dragons were extinct. Dany and her brother were the closest thing to dragons still alive. At least, that's what Dany had thought.

"I'm here!" the dragon cried. She had a cute female voice that took Dany by surprise, not only to hear a dragon speak, but because the dragon looked terrifying.

"You're...here?" Dany repeated.

"Yeah! I'm here to be your maid, like we agreed, silly!"

"You're here to be my maid? Like we agreed?! V-Viserys?" Then, it started coming back to her. Last night in the woods. She thought it'd be a dream, meeting a dragon in the woods.

"Unless," the dragon said, "unless, unless you don't want me anymore." The dragon sounded sad. Dany's heart broke.

"No, of course I want you!" Dany said.

"Really?!"

"Really!" Dany said. "Sorry, I just got confused. I was, woo! Boy, was I drunk last night!"

"Oh, you won't regret it, Miss Targaryen, I promise! Although, it seems your living quarters is a bit small for me."

"Uhhh, yeah," said Dany. "Listen, dragons have been extinct for decades. If anyone sees you, there will be wars fought to capture you."

The dragon sighed. "Of course. Silly me." She disappeared in a poof, and an blonde-haired girl was standing in Dany's bathroom.

"Are you...the dragon?" Dany asked.

"Mmm-hmm," said the dragon-girl. "My name's Tohru, remember?"

"Tohru. Right," said Dany. "Tohru, if you don't mind me asking, what are you wearing?"

Tohru looked down at her outfit, a strange black dress over a white tunic with a funny little hat. "Is this not how maids dress?"

"No, it's not," said Dany. "I don't know what that is."

"Oh," said Tohru. "Well, how do maids dress here?"

"Umm," said Dany. "My dress is hanging up. Just do something like that."

It was a muted purple dress with flowing sleeves. Tohru examined it and nodded. In another poof, she was wearing an identical dress in green with simple straps instead of the flowing sleeves Dany's dress had. "How's this?" asked Tohru.

"That's great," said Dany. "Your magic is unbelievable."

Tohru bowed. "Okay, now what?"

"Now what, what?" Dany asked.

"I'm your maid. What do you want me to do for you?"

"Umm," Dany said, and then there was a knock on the door.

"DAENERYS!" It was Viserys. "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO IN THERE?"

"Nobody!" Dany called.

Viserys opened the door halfway through Dany's answer, then gasped. "Who are you?" he asked Tohru.

"Who am I? Who are you?! Don't you know it's rude to walk in on a lady bathing?" Tohru shouted. She took the door and forced it shut.

Dany gasped and laughed. Not only had nobody ever spoken to her brother that way, Tohru had swung the door shut as if Viserys weighed a feather. Tohru leaned up against the door, preventing Viserys's entering. Viserys pounded against the door to no avail.

"Who is this?" Tohru asked, gesturing to the door.

"My brother," said Dany.

"Your brother?!" Tohru asked. "You let your brother walk in on your when you're bathing? Oh dear, what is wrong with humans? Do you want me to let him in?"

Dany considered. On one hand, she was very afraid of what Viserys would do when he eventually got in. On the other hand, she needed Viserys to accept Tohru if Tohru was going to stick around. Also, seeing Viserys get bossed around was incredibly satisfying.

"Let him in," she said. She decided she wasn't afraid of Viserys if Tohru was around.

"Weird!" Tohru protested. "At least put on some clothes first!"

Dany laughed. "Alright," she said. She started to get out of the tub, then stopped to laugh when Tohru closed her eyes. "It's okay, Tohru. Maids see their masters naked all of time."

"Oh, right," Tohru said. "Sorry, I was a maid before in another world. I got very used to the rules there. But it seems like this world has different rules."

"Tell me about your first master," said Dany. She went to get her dress, and Tohru helped her put it on.

"Well, I would never call Miss Kobayashi my master," said Tohru. "I loved Miss Kobayashi, and she loved me. She lived in a fantastic place called Japan."

"Japan? Never heard of it," said Dany.

"Ohhh, it was a wonderful place full of wonderful people," said Tohru. "But as all people do, Miss Kobayashi grew old and died. I spent fifty years with her."

"Oh my goodness," said Dany. "That's so sad."

"I really enjoyed being Miss Kobayashi's maid and best friend and lover," said Tohru. "I couldn't go back to my old life. So I had to find another human to be with."

"And you chose me?" Dany asked.

"You were wandering drunk in the woods," said Tohru. "That's how I met Miss Kobayashi. I knew then I had to follow you."

Dany threw her head back and laughed. "That's an interesting way to pick a human! Say, when you said you and Miss Kobayashi were lovers, does that mean you expect me?"

"OH NO!" Tohru cried. "You're just a little girl! You don't have lovers!"

"HA!" Dany said. "Oh Tohru, you have so much to learn about this world. Though that is very refreshing to hear."

Tohru looked at Dany in confusion. "I don't think I'm in Japan anymore."

"Oh no, you are not," said Dany.

"But is this world a wonderful place full of wonderful people?" Tohru asked hopefully.

"Ummmm," said Dany.

Viserys pounded on the door. "YOU'VE AWAKENED THE DRAGON, MISSY!"

Tohru flung the door open. "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT DRAGONS?!"

Viserys's face was red with rage. He grabbed Tohru by the throat. "Do you know who I am, you palace harlot?!"

"A PERVERT?!" Tohru cried, and ash manifested on Viserys's face from Tohru's breath. Tohru then kneed him in the groin for good measure, and he let go of her.

"I...I AM VISERYS TARGARYEN, THIRD OF THE NAME, KING OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS!"

"King? KING?! Oh, no! This is one of those worlds!" Tohru said. "Dany, you didn't tell me there were kings?!"

"I...I honestly don't remember what I told you," said Dany. "Viserys, this is Tohru. She is my maid."

"Your maid?" Viserys asked incredulously.

"Yes, my maid," said Dany.

"Master Illyrio gave you a personal maid?" Viserys pressed.

"Umm, no," said Dany. "I hired her myself."

"You hired her? With what money?"

"She's not working for money," said Dany. "She is working for..." Viserys was grinning. "What?" Dany asked.

"You little bitch," said Viserys. "You bought a slave, and you thought you could hide her from me."

"NO! No, Tohru is not a slave, she is a maid, of good breeding, and..."

"Dany, don't be shy. I'm proud! You're acting like a real princess now! You can keep your slave. I don't mind. The Dothraki keep many slaves of different nationalities. I'm sure Khal Drogo will look favorably upon his new bride bringing with her a slave." He turned to Tohru, who was burning with rage every time the word "slave" was applied to her. "Tohru, see to it that my sister looks her very best. She is meeting her husband today."

Viserys patted Tohru on the cheek and left. Tohru stared wide-eyed at Dany. "What...kind of world...is this?" she asked. "And why are you getting married?"

Dany sighed. "I'll explain everything," she said. "And if you want to leave, I'll understand. But I am so, so glad you're here."