Chapter 1: The Train

Edward POV:

Goddamnit! Why the fuck do these damn wizards use such weird methods to get on trains? Its fucking nuts! I thought, running through the platform, I didn't care at this point who i knocked into. Colonel Bastard told me to get on this train, I will omit the part where he calls me short in his letter I think, seething slightly. The train gave a large whistle, and began chugging away as i snatched onto the railing and climbed on. My automail arm gripping to the metal tightly.

Entering the train, I lugged my suitcase (if you could call a messenger bag a suitcase) into the corridor, and traveled along it. One empty compartment to my right, I quickly slipped in and pulled up my hood, trying to look menacing, and trying to scare off anyone trying to get in. I unfurled the letter that Mustang shoved into my hands weeks earlier, and skimmed it to find any hidden meaning in his words;

Fullmetal,

The Furher wants you to travel to a place in England, I think, called Hogwarts, don't freak out, but it is a school of magic. The rules of Equivalent Exchange do not apply to magic. This might seem strange at first, but this England (?) is at war with a magical being, and the Headmaster, Dumbledore i believe, has asked us that we send over a well-versed alchemist to assist.

Your mission is simple. You must enter this 'Hogwarts' and protect the student body, most importantly Harry Potter, since he has a target on his back right now. To cover your mission objective, you must become a teacher for the year. Most of your students will be older than you, but do not worry. I give you permission to act as their superior (NO BODILY HARM). In the fashion of equivalent exchange, you are permitted to use their library, one which, maybe may house answers on how to get your brothers body, and your arm and leg back from the 'Gate' and 'Truth', or whatever.

You will teach Alchemy. I swear to science Fullmetal, if i hear that you drop them on an island or injure them in some way, I will come over there and burn your little midget body to death. They may want to learn Alchemy, but your word there is law. I trust you to make the best decisions, see you in around 9 months, maybe less maybe more.

Colonel Roy Mustang

The Fire Alchemist

Central Command, Amestris

P.S. The miniskirt project is going along well :) HAHAHA

P.P.S Hawkeye wants me to retract my previous statement, that ain't happening, her bullets do look awfully dangerous, so I'm just going to say that if I'm dead by the time you get back, I bequeath all of my paperwork to you.

The bastard wants me to teach. Well, a teacher they will get, although it will be a pissed off 24/7 teacher. I blatantly refused to wear the stupid wizard dresses that teachers wore. My red coat with Flamel insignia worked just fine, also, the stupid flats they wore didn't add the height I needed to use to look intimidating (not because I was short, oh no no no no, I AM NOT SHORT!). Just as i absent-mindedly rubbed my shoulder port, careful not to hurt the automail arm, a group of kids my age started to open up the compartment door. Fuck, fucking students, why couldn't I travel to this shitty school a different fucking way? The stupid blonde head of a smug looking dipshit peered in, and almost immediately began to harass me.

"Hey, you, weird kid, i haven't seen you before? Are you a stupid first-year?" He jeered, the two dumbasses behind him snickering as he says this. Three more people pile in, Fuck, the brown haired girl that walked in stared at the boy incredulously, and in the meantime I tried to calm down from the implication of being called short.

Not hearing their conversation, still seething, I began to stand to confront the blonde baka, standing at my full height (which wasn't very tall; ED WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BAZOOKA!), I looked up in the bastards face, and grabbing his jacket collar, twirled him around, and threw him over my shoulder. I got my automail arm above me, ready to strike, with him pinned beneath me. A look of terror spreading across his features. Good, the little shits are afraid the minute i see them! A look of glee was formed in the face of the two boys accompanying the girl, while fear was stricken through the brutes the blonde brought with him.

"When my father hea-" the boy spluttered out, I cut him off,

"I don't give a flying fuck who your father is, NO ONE CALLS ME SO SHORT THAT I LOOK LIKE A BEANSPROUT MIDGET OF A TEN YEAR OLD! NO ONE! now get out!" (Lmao) the deadly serious tone I used for the last part freaked them out, and they rushed out, metaphorical tails between their legs.

The black haired boy and ginger turn to me. I'm fucking 5 foot nothing, and these idiots are a solid 10 inches taller then me, fuck, and I'm supposed to be their teacher!

"That was bloody brilliant mate! I have never seen Malfoy so scared in my life!" The ginger squealed, the girl rolled her eyes. I just sat back down and ignored them. Maybe they noticed, maybe they didn't, I don't care, they just kept on talking.

"I'm Hermione, a prefect, the ginger is Ron also a prefect, and the black haired boy is Harry. Nice to meet you, what is your name?" The girl asked, pointing at each person as she spoke.

"Ed" I reply annoyed. They where really getting on my nerves. "Can you please leave? I really want to be alone. I need to prepare for arrival." I asked them, in a monotone voice. Hermione nodded, and pushed the idiot boys out of the door, sliding it shut. The rest of the trip was quiet, and just how I like it. I dozed off after a while.

The train skidded to a stop, and I quickly jumped out, I had memorized the map of the grounds, and ran around the forest, not bothering with the chimera-like thestrals that where hitched to the carriages that students were climbing into. My automail ports creaking slightly against the moisture. The annoyance that metal fused to your body can be is great. It hurt like a bitch sometimes, and it needed a little maintenance. Thank god Winry wouldn't be coming often, my head would like to stay intact please thank you very much!

Running around the edge of the forbidden forest, I noticed that the moon had shifted quite a bit. Fuck, I'm late, I thought, and sprinted away towards the main hall.