2.1: Unsurprisingly, It's More Than I Can chew

Every high school, no matter how prestigious, is more often than not rife with gossip which may or may not have some truth to them. There are no concrete reasons as to why this is the case, but I personally believe it's because teenagers need some form of escape from the dull routine of school, one that won't get them in trouble when they admit that whatever activities or people they're involved with are boring. That, or they need a good conversation starter. Probably the latter, actually. The majority of teenagers are vapid imbeciles who would enjoy visiting the same places every day of the week with their cliques.

Regardless, I find that the most popular subject to gossip about, no matter the circumstances, is romance. Who's dating who, if A has a secret crush on B or C, and so on. Honestly, it's not that surprising. Of course hormonal teenagers that are still in the midst of discovering the concept of like liking someone for their personality (and physical properties) would want to talk about- and I will kill myse- I mean, delete my hard-earned Gacha account before I say this aloud- true love.

Ugh, it's revolting to just think about it. As expected of something normies dream about. It's sad that you dream of finding the perfect soulmate who can practically read your mind, and do no wrong, and be nothing but perfectly sweet to you, rather than accept the reality that such a person will never exist. I could go on, but for the sake of remaining on point, I'll stop here. Go explode.

In a high school full of gossipping students, what happens when you stick a boy who's friends with other boys, and is considered 'cute' by normal girl standards, with a trio of girls that includes two of the most popular girls in the school?

Can a question be considered a question when the answer is obvious? Sure, but it's called a rhetorical question, and you'd be labelled an idiot for answering it.

That's right, you don't get a bunch of 'Pure love squad's squealing and whisper-shouting 'So cuuute~!' after settling on an OTP. [1] Instead, you get a truck ton of misery because teenagers are spiteful, envious monsters who would attack even the purest of cinnamon rolls.

Just thinking about it pisses me off.

So, why then, have I decided to risk rekindling the fire by staying in the Volunteers Club? I mean, what will people think once they find out I'm clubmates with the same guy who I confessed to and got rejected by (to shut everyone up)? What will they say when they realise we're supposed to spend hours everyday in each other's presence? Surely there would be hell to pay, right?

Hah. Not if I have something to say about it.

First of all, the fire can't be rekindled if there isn't any firewood. Secondly, I want to make sure that any last embers are put out. I'll use the club to my advantage by making sure that any and all who visit will see that I'm just a clubmate of Matsumoto's. Nothing more, nothing less. By doing that, I'll also put an end to whatever rumours remain from last year about myself, Keika, or Emiko harbouring any feelings towards him, be it romantic or antagonistic.

Without a doubt, that's my plan all along.

It's definitely not because I want to spend more time with my friends so badly that I'll even put up with the thrice-damned fake.

Definitely not.

That would be childish.

...

Unsurprisingly, Matsumoto arrived before I did. The guy has a penchant to brisk walk, probably because he always has to escape from the clutches of the riajuus he associates with as the friendly Shichiro. Serves you right, honestly. What did you think was going to happen when you befriend a pack of overzealous socialites? That they'd just let you off with time spent together at school? Nope, you also have to spend about two to three hours together after school everyday, and that's the bare minimum!

Matsumoto looks up from his phone and stops fixing his slight hunch once he realises that it was just me. "You came?"

"You say that as though I didn't say I would yesterday." Yup. That's definitely what I did, and any other recountings that make it out to be something more embarrassing are slander. "My chair's still here, so obviously you expected me."

"Oh. I guess so." My clubmate goes back to reading whatever fanfiction is on his phone with a shrug. What, were you planning on putting my chair away before I came in? Understandable, have a nice day. "Is Sensei coming in today? I figured he'd be busy on Fridays."

"He should." Before I can indulge myself in my light novel, I have to finish today's math homework. Ugh. Why can't math just be an optional subject? "He told us to find a third member, right? Unless he doesn't actually care, he'll want to know if either of us made progress. Did you? Make progress, I mean." Okay, so this is just a refresher for the algebra we learnt in our first year, right? It should be simple enough. If x equals to... nevermind, bring out the formula cheat sheet.

"Most people I know are already in a club, and those who aren't have no interest in the idea." Huh? Why wouldn't riajuus who'd rather spend their time in a shopping mall instead of studying be interested in a club that lets them do nothing on their own in a secluded part of Soubu? Oh right. Heh, I crack myself up. "If he hadn't limited us to people outside of our close circles... The same goes for you?"

"I don't have any other 'friends', so yeah. No progress here either." In other words, my plan to rely on him charming someone in here as Shichiro failed, and I don't have a plan B to fall back on. "Oh well, Sensei will just have to make do with only having two lackeys."

"Lackey?"

"Yes, lackey. Didn't Sensei tell you that he'll occasionally have us do grunt work?"

The door to the clubroom slides open before he can give his reply, and speak of the devil, in strolls Hikigaya-Sensei sipping away at a can of MAXX Coffee. Huh. Didn't he have one when Japanese literature class started too? Unless this is the same can and he's just been using it as a prop, that's at the very least the second one in less than twelve hours. Hey Sensei don't you know that's unhealthy? Like, you risk developing high blood pressure levels of unhealthy?

"I feel like someone's badmouthing me. Is it you, Tsurumi?"

"What makes you think that?" Yeah that's right, raise your eyebrow as I fold my arms and glare ineffectively at you. "I, Tsurumi Rumi, am a model student who would never badmouth her busybody, diabetes drinking, child labour exploiting teacher. Never."

"Hm, that's a good try. I give it half a point out of ten on the Yuki-Insult scale." Considering your own girlfriend insinuated that you were pervert who'd court students during our one and only video call... I'll take that as a win. Mhm, definitely not because my pride as a cold individual has been hurt. By the way, can your girlfriend teach me her ways?

"Sensei!" Oh right, I have to deal with Shichiro now. Great. "Are you here for an update?" Hikigaya-Sensei nods as he sits on the chair intended for clients. "Well uhm, as you can guess, it's really difficult to approach, much less convince someone you're not close with about joining a club sooo... Eheh, sorry." He finishes his little performance by awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Well done, Shichiro. I'm sure Sensei appreciates your totally sincere apology for not being able to get him a third lackey.

"It's fine. Honestly, I would've been surprised if you managed to recruit someone so soon." Hey! Don't make it sound like we aren't capable! It's just that I'd be happier if I didn't have to deal with more people during club hours, got it?

"I mean, it's not like we're going to need additional manpower soon, right? There haven't been any requests so far."

"Ah right, speaking of requests, I wonder why she isn't here yet?"

"Who?" Hmm, why do I get the feeling Shichiro just triggered a-

"Sorry I'm late, Sensei! I was talking with my friends and lost track of... time."

Here's a strange thought. Is my life becoming a predictable comedy slice-of-life light novel? If so, can I have a full refund?

Seriously, this is some SSS tier trash. At least make sure I'm only a side character in Keika's life rather than an extra in multiple riajuus' misadventures!

Damn it, I already have to deal with Matsumoto, why do I have to deal with Himura on top of him?!

... That's lewd. Please die, shitty author.

...

"So let me get this straight." Shichiro sets his phone down on the table, the contents of his notes app in full view for the rest of the people in the room. "You want us to help a friend of yours with his studies."

"Yup!"

"Even though you are the second smartest in our grade."

"That's right!"

"... Because you think he has a crush on you."

It is taking every ounce of whatever willpower I have to not drop my face on the table for dramatic effect, not only because I know it will hurt, but also because it will further cement my theory that a shitty light novel is playing out right in front of me. Still, let the records show that Tsurumi Rumi cannot stand this ridiculous affair.

"You got it!" Himura points two finger guns with a beaming smile that would probably blind any normal person who wasn't exposed to high amounts of Keika's Smile. Good thing nobody in this room is normal, huh?

"But why come to us?" the brunette pointedly glances towards Hikigaya-Sensei. "No, I get that he told you to come here, but what made you think this was a good idea?" I mean, if he ommitted the fact you'd be asking us for help, I'd understand, but you stuck around even after finding out? "Why us?"

She puts a finger to her lips and hums. Whichever series you stole that from, it's tremendously fake, and only idiots would buy it. Oh, right, this whole school is full of them. Nevermind, carry on. "Well, it's like, you two are pretty smart right?"

"Literally anyone else, Himura. You could've gone to anyone else."

"Not really?" Oh boy, here we go. "My friend is a bit eccentric, you know? He gets really excited about things sometimes and like, I know how hard it is to focus with that much energy in the room 'cause I sometimes lose focus too, you know what I mean?" In other words, he's a loudmouth who distracts everyone else. Great.

"Uhm... Atsuko? I don't know what to say." Shichiro's wry smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, "You know I like studying in quiet places. You also know that Keika's the only person who doesn't tire out Tsurumi because, well, Keika is Keika." While the two of them and Sensei share a quiet laugh, I have to resist the urge to roll my eyes. Seriously Sensei, aren't you weirded out by this weird performance too?

"True, true. You're totally right, Shichi-kun." Gegh, I want to puke just looking at you two. "Even so, you guys are my best hope!" Himura stands up from her seat, slaps her hands together, and bows. "Ya gotta help me!" While that was an admittedly impressive delivery of the 'Desperate Beg' pose, I don't feel any more inclined to help you. Perhaps next time you should remember to button up before attempting it?

Shichiro leans back into his seat with a deep breath. Of course, he has an image to maintain, so he couples it with an awkward half-smile and scratching his cheek to seem less exasperated. It sucks, doesn't it? Not being able to express your displeasure? Lucky for the both of us, I don't have to hide mine.

"So basically, you're asking us to help some guy you unwittingly charmed at the risk of having our own studies hampered." Despite the fact I'm glaring at her with my arms folded, she still manages to smile. Yeah, you know exactly what you're asking, don't you? "Sorry Himura, but I have problems with my own homework. No way I can add your friend's to the pile."

"I have an idea." Oh, it seems I was mistaken. I thought his silence meant that Shichiro was done with Himura's shit, when actually he was thinking about how to handle it. Damn it, don't drag us into her mess, not again! "Chiba central library is a good place for studying, maybe he can have a group study session there?"

"You want us to bring an 'eccentric individual' to a library? I can think of a few things wrong with that." For starters, getting kicked out for being too noisy, possibly even banned? I don't know about you, but I like having access to the library should the need arise.

"I'm sure Atsuko's friend knows to keep it down when in a library, right Atsuko?" the brunette nods in affirmation. "Besides, I never said we had to study with him." Huh... you didn't. "You should discuss it with your friends, I'm sure some of them would like the idea of a study group. Who knows, maybe I'll even join you guys if I'm free!" With a charming smile, Shichiro takes his phone back, marking the note as resolved before pocketing it.

"I look forward to it! Thanks you two, you really saved my butt!" Himura literally twirls towards the sliding door, resulting in the wind catching her skirt. It's only because of sheer luck that she maintains whatever dignity she has left. "This club is, like, so cool! I'll definitely come again." Please don't. "Ah! I'm gonna be late for club, bye guys!"

Slowly but surely, the sound of the socialite's footsteps disappear, and all that remains is a silence that brings sudden clarity. We were uncomfortably close to being stuck in an unfavourable position. I mean, even Shichiro's sighing in relief, and he's... well, that's out of character for him.

"Heh." Sensei breaks the silence with a brief laugh. "She didn't tell me anything about it being a boy crushing on her. Well regardless, good job coming up with a solution for her problem, Matsumoto."

"Ahaha, it's nothing really." Trust me Sensei, he's not being humble; it really is nothing at all for someone like him. "Still, thank you Sensei!"

"Tsurumi," Eh? "the fact that you were honest helped make the case clear. Good job." U-uhm, I mean, I was kind of rude though. I expected you to have a problem with that, you know? "However, you should work on presenting your thoughts more nicely." Aaand there it is. "I know what you're thinking brat, but trust me. Pleasant Delivery is one of my most used 108 skills."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks." I'll be courteous and ignore the chuuni crap you spouted at the end. Actually, I just want to avoid second-hand embarrassment, but it's mostly for the sake of being courteous. Honest. "So... what now?" That almost felt too easy. If all the requests that aren't from Sensei are like this, then won't he just be giving out extra credits? I almost feel bad for him. Not.

"Now? You can do whatever you want." Great! Let me just get back to my math homework then- "But before that, can I talk to you outside, Tsurumi?" Oh come on, what's so important that- "It's about Keika."

Well, you should've just started with that! Keika is my number one priority, you know?

Wait, no, don't know that! You can't know about my kryptonite!

Aaaand you're smirking like a smug bastard again.

Damn it.

[1]: The Story of a Girl with Sanpaku Eyes.

A/N: As we move to chapter 2, I'll take this chance to thank you for your continued support, CMY187 especially for your reviews. Also I'm totally gonna sellout and plug Spacebattles again because live interaction on the forums is pretty useful. (Also because have y'all read TransDim by Sage_Of_Eyes? It's being continued on SB right now)