a/n: So I took a little break from my main Lumione novel, 'Father-in-law Issues' to write this fun little shorter novel. My other Lucius/Hermione story, as you may know, is very angsty and dark. However, this story, of about 10 chapters is a romcom with Lucius and Hermione in a more light hearted comedy...though it will have slices of angst here and there too! Plus tons of Lucius being his cunning, manipulative self per usual ;)

~o~O~o~

The Blind Date from Hell

~o~

[formerly titled: Gentlemen Prefer Brunettes]

[Song: No Time to Die - Billie Eilish]

[Lucius/Hermione]

["the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe"]

~O~OO~OO~O~

~o~

Prologue

~o~

"Do you find this man guilty?"

"Guilty, I find him irredeemably guilty," she testified. "I will not rest until he is behind bars in Azkaban and justice is served."

"Order, order! Miss Granger you present no evidence! We have told you time and time again that justice has been served. Lucius Malfoy claims he was under the Imperius Curse. Do you have any evidence to convey otherwise and that justice was not served?"

Hermione bit her lip, her eyes watering. How she longed to say 'yes' yet however much she tried, she could only find hearsay, or circumstantial leads without concrete evidence. Lucius Malfoy was as slippery as they came.

"No," she admitted defeat bitterly.

"Then hold your silence, madam!" the Wizengamot judge hammered his desk with a wood gavel. "This case has been adjourned for lack of evidence!"

Hermione held back tears for what happened to her in Malfoy Manor. For the scar tissue that lay embedded in her arm, writing 'mudblood'. Bellatrix Lestrange was long dead and justice would never be paid there. But to the other Malfoy members who had allowed it to happen, she wanted justice. They could've intervened or stopped their family member from torturing her.

So she would just bring up this issue every year until she got justice or evidence to change the ruling of war crimes.

The Malfoys were war criminals, all of them. She didn't care that Narcissa Malfoy had actually been the only decent one among them and covered for her son and husband. She didn't care that Draco had somewhat a decent heart too and the boy had covered for Harry by pretending to not recognize him when the Snatchers and Death Eaters asked if they had caught the right persons. Hermione felt no grudge towards either Narcissa or Draco, however.

She only wanted Lucius Malfoy to pay. That is the man she hated. The wizard she dreamed of seeing fall from grace one day.

As she stood up from the podium, her eyes met with Lucius's across the room. He was staring at her. With those cold, calculating ice grey eyes.

Why did he insist on staring at her in every court hearing? Was he trying to intimidate her? Yet he never spoke a word against her when he had been called in to testimony. He only seemed to observe her.

Hermione shook her head. Whatever his reason for staring at her, she would ignore it.

Yet she felt his eyes dig into her as she turned her back and trotted out of the court.

Just once, she turned around and glanced over her shoulder.

She blushed when she saw that Lucius Malfoy had, in fact, been checking her out. Enjoying the curve of her backside.

The nerve of the man. Hermione shook her head and marched away from him. Her hips in the matching grey wool skirt swung confidently.

Go to hell, Lucius, she thought.

.

.

~o~

Six months later...

~o~

"Right this way, Miss Granger," the concierge said with a wave of his hand.

Hermione smiled at the young man and enjoyed the nervous blush that arose in his cheeks. She knew she looked spectacular tonight in a red dress with matching ruby heels—and reveled in the lavish attention she was receiving from every man with a pulse tonight.

In every room she entered, all eyes turned on her, either appreciatively or jealousy or admiration.

Hermione Granger, recent war heroine, didn't usually dress up this nice or doll up. In her abysmally boring, everyday life as an a apprentice at the Ministry Department of Magical Creatures, she wore her long brown hair in a ponytail, wore cardigan sweaters and a touch of lip gloss without any makeup. She liked the simplicity of being able to roll out of bed in the morning. She enjoyed the calm and quiet of not having men and wizards of all ages stumbling over their feet to meet her or handing her things or making any excuse to spend time with her.

Every now and then, however, Hermione didn't mind a change of scenery or a change in the pace of her life. So on these nights she enjoyed dolling up and going on these dates her friends often set up for her...and she didn't mind wearing makeup or a dress for these occasions.

However, as the waiter, led her to her table at the posh restaurant, the young brunette's mouth fell open and she stopped walking dead in her tracks.

"Miss?" the concierge urged her towards the table and pulled back a seat for her.

However, nothing short of a dragon, could've induced her to sit down at the table with the man that, rather vagrantly, already sat there.

"Lucius Malfoy," she whispered as she stared at him in dumfounded shock. "What are you doing here?"

.

.