"Want to go climb trees Thomas j?" Vada cried.

Bella felt tears well up in her eyes, but they had yet to fall.

"His face hurts and he can't see without his glasses? Where are his glasses?" Vada cried again, this time her cries becoming louder.

"put his glasses on! He needs his glasses" the grieving preteen turned to Thomas J's parents crying "He was going to be an acrobat!"

"he's gone, sweetheart. He gone."

And that was when the Dam of Bella's heart broke. He was Gone. Jacob …her Jacob was Gone. And the majority of it was her fault.

The words He's gone were echoing in Bella's head as she stood up. She was in a haze.

Vada had lost her only best friend, who loved her more than life and she wasn't getting him back. So, what was Bella's issue? Jacob was alive. No, he wasn't here but he was alive, and she had broken his heart.

Told him he wasn't enough for her while he was in the most extreme agony. Oh, why had she been so blind! How could she have been so selfish.

Bella quickly blubbered something to Alice and Rosalie as she gathered, her belongings. She couldn't be here. She didn't want to be here.

It was all too much. Edward had sent Jacob an invitation, saying that he would have want the option. Anger and pain coursed through her.

Ignoring Alice's and Rosalie's questions, Bella ran for the door. She winched however when a cold hand stopped her.

It was Alice.

"Bella? What is going on? Why are you crying? And why do I see you ripping your wedding dress! What is going on?"

Bella was able to get her arm from Alice's grasp, saying.

"I-I'm sorry alic-alice. I'm just not feeling up to this anymore. I have to go home! And don't call Edward. let him be. I'll call you tomorrow"

With that said, Bella climbed the god forsaken car Edward had forced upon her. it wasn't like she had put up much of a fight anyway. She had slowly come to terms with what her life would be like with Edward and the Cullen's. She had given up hope.

But for the first time in months, Bella was actually feeling something, and this time it was pain. She was in the wrong and she knew it. Her best friend was gone. Heartbroken and alone. All because of her selfishness. She had to fix this but how?

Even when she pulled up into the driveway, Bella had still not stop crying. All of the pent-up emotions were at the surface. Her anger, her sadness, her depression.

Running into the house, Bella quickly ran to the bathroom and found herself puking. Once she was done, she washed her face, brushed her teeth and stared at the ghost in the mirror.

Who had she become? When did she become this vain and selfish girl who hurt those around her, not caring about the consequence?

The visual of Thomas j and Vada climbing trees soon crossed her mind. That had been her at one point. She and Jacob, making mud pies and rolling around in the sand, not a care in the world?

What had changed that? What had divided her and best friend so much that he had run away from his home?

Bella knew the answer. It was her. She and her selfishness, her and her stubbornness but she also knew it was because the weight on his shoulder. The weight of one day being Alpha and one day running a tribe. He had only been sixteen when all this started. When the vampires appeared, and everything changed. He was now seventeen and before he left was being pressured to be Sam's beta. But Jacob didn't want to be however he hadn't made it known. Not to anyone but her. During the newborn battle. In the small little tent of theirs before Edward showed up. He had spilled his whole heart to her. About how he hated the wolf. He hated being in the pack and hated having his choices from him. His choices had been taken from him since the day his mother died. The day she died, was the day everything changed for him. His sisters left and at the age of 9 he was left with his diabetic and wheelchair-bound father. Having to help his father cope and do daily task. He had been all alone then and he was all alone now.

Without thinking, Bella found two pieces of paper and began to write. In one, put her engagement ring and laid it on her wedding dress.

The other letter she put on the kitchen table. She had no idea how long she'd be gone but one thing she did know…

She was going to find Jacob.