Arkham's Keepers

Chapter 5: "Ivy's Slave"

A/N: Honestly, I just do an author's note at the beginning 'cause I've seen other people do it. :P

"I. AM. BORED!"

Everyone at the lunch table (almost a dozen patients) looks at Joker.

"I really thought I could use this Quinzel person," he continues. "You know, arrange a little breaking out now and then. Break out some of my buddies, too. But it looks like I'm gonna have to do it all by myself."

"I'm with you, Joker. The world is too pointless without us. We must exist to disturb this meaningless world!" says Victor Zsasz, a slim and bald Caucasian man with numerous scars on his body in the form of tally marks.

"Uh… if anyone wants to escape, I'm willing to set everything up… for the right price."

"Shut up, Dreary. No one invited you here," Joker retorts. "But first… who wants to see Ivy DIE?" Everyone's ears perk up. "I am going to get it all on camera for you, boys!"

Drury Walker crosses his arms. "Yeah? And how d'ya plan on doing it?"

Joker eyes a piece of lettuce in his paper bowl.

Harleen's office is dimly lit. Ivy smells a flower Harleen left on her desk.

"I've missed your fragrance so much," she says to a fragrant, potted purple rose.

Ivy takes the flower with her to the sofa.

"I thought you might like it," Harleen says. Ivy smiles and nods, almost with tears in her eyes. "In our last session, it occurred to me you might be missin' a little hope in your life."

Ivy's smile immediately recedes. "I… I just don't know when I'll ever get out of here. I want to give others hope. Of a better world. One blooming with nature. I can't give hope when…." Ivy sighs. "The fact is, I've angered a lot of these people by working with Batman. I might not live to see it."

"I understand," Harleen says, nodding. "But hope also exists in smaller ways. Let me ask you a question, Pamela. If you could have anything in all of Arkham, what would it be?"

"Plants. I don't want to be separated from them 24/7. I feel so lonely without them."

"And… do they make you feel safer?"

"Yes. But…"

"No buts, Pamela. Just imagine that you're safe. What makes you feel safe? Let me help you. I'll be honest, I'm not really big on rules. You want more flowers, I'll get 'em for ya."

If Ivy's being honest with herself, with everything that's happened the past year, there is one more thing that might make her feel safer. The Joker. Hanging by his thumbs.

Joker is humming melodically in the art room. There are half a dozen easels in the calm, white room, only two of them currently being used. Soft, fuzzy daylight streams through the room through a triplet of windows jutting out of the main form. A guard walks up behind Joker, who is working on the table.

"Just what are you working on, Joker?"

"Just an art project," he mutters.

"Oh, God! A plant!"

"No, no, no. It's a plastic plant. I wanted to give Ivy a gift."

"Since when do you give gifts that aren't actively harmful? Let me see that."

The guard tugs on one of two plastic sunflowers in a small pot. Nothing happens.

"I'll be watching you."

Joker utters a soft "Ha ha."

A pair of guards brings Joker into a room with Ivy and Dr. Quinzel. Ivy looks behind her, unnerved.

"What is he doing here?"

"So, the Joker has had surprisingly good behavior these last couple of months and I know you two have your issues. I want you to work them out."

"Yes, and look here, green bean! I even brought you a present!"

The pale clown presents the flowers to her with outstretched arms.

"This is—I'm not—I'm not taking anything from him," she says after getting off the red sofa.

"Dr. Quinzel?" Joker asks.

"Please, Pamela. This will be good therapy for the both of you. If anything happens, I'm right here."

"Heheheheheh."

Ivy cautiously looks into Joker's deranged eyes. The plant is transferred from his hands to her hands. Ivy feels the plant between her fingers.

"It's plastic."

"Of course. I made it myself. But that's not all…."

Joker grins widely. In that moment, Ivy is desperate to get away from the plant and/or Joker. But before she can react, the sunflowers lunge directly into her face. Dirt flies everywhere. Ivy quickly receives a long gash along her cheek. It was a spring-loaded booby trap, complete with spikes right underneath the pistils.

"JOKER!" Harleen screams.

Joker doesn't listen. While Ivy is dazed, he takes the plant back, which Ivy had dropped on the floor. He rips both stems out of the pot, both of which are bare, petals missing, exposing the green spikes.

"STOP! Joker—"

Joker jabs at Ivy with the spikes. Ivy moves her body out of the way of each jab and pushes his arm away. Joker persists, nonetheless. Ivy picks up a binder to block Joker's attacks.

"Watch carefully, Harleen! Do you want to know what lives in my brain? You want to try to get close to me? I hope you're ready to accept the chaos that comes with the territory, 'cause I'm not changing for no one! HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Harleen!" Ivy cries. Joker jabs at her, she blocks. "Just get one of the guards! Don't let him hurt you!" Joker slides one of the spikes under the binder, piercing Ivy's abdomen.

"Pamela!"

Harleen throws a right hook that lands square in Joker's face. Ivy starts bleeding on the carpet.

"I knew you weren't ready for me. Do you really think there's anyone sane enough to handle the Joker? Heheheheheh."

Harleen produces a pen and stabs Joker in the shoulder with it.

"AAAAH-ahaha ha ha!" Joker cries.

Harleen grabs Joker by his orange Arkham shirt. "Sane? You think 'sane' is what I came to Arkham for?"

Ivy drops to her knees and holds herself up with the help on one of her arms. The other clutches her stomach.

"Joker… you son of a—" she trails, out of breath. Finally, she falls on her side.

Harleen lets go of Joker, but Joker grabs her.

"No. Don't go. Don't you see? This is what you came for all along! You wanted crazy? Well? Heh heh heh. This is crazy. You're not her doctor anymore. You're mine."

Harleen shakes off his arm.

"The hell I am."

Harleen takes Ivy off the ground and carries her on her shoulder. Joker leaves the office, job unfinished. He is immediately snatched up by guards.

"Someday, Dr. Quinzel. Someday."

Ivy stares up at the ceiling from her bed.

Great. Another trip to the infirmary.

After two quick knocks on her door and a polite request for entry, Dr. Quinzel enters the room.

"I am so sorry about this Pamela. I—I kinda feel like this is my fault."

Ivy looks away. "Why did you do it?" She mumbles.

"It's just—you're both patients here and… I thought I was helping."

Ivy frowns, her expression unseen. "You thought you were helping?! Don't you know how freaking dangerous the Joker is?!"

Harleen bobs her head in agreement. "This isn't easy for me to say. As a therapist, it's my job to get close to my patients and understand them better. He didn't seem like he's such a bad person."

Ivy suddenly turns to face Harleen. "Understand that the JOKER is the WORST person! He terrorizes Gotham. He traumatized innocent children in front of me [Batman and Ivy, Chapter 9]. You know, he burned trees in front of me, too [Batman and Ivy, Chapter 3]? What, just because he can? Be-because it's some sort of sick joke. Everything the Joker does is a sick joke!"

Harleen falls silent, shame casting a shadow over her face. "Okay, so I was wrong. I thought his violence could be controlled."

"'Okay?' Okay, Harleen? There's nothing okay about this. You can't control the Joker. No one can control the Joker."

"I can, I'm sure of it! If I can make Mistah J see the light, just imagine, I could cure anyone!"

Ivy looks at Harleen in shock and horror. "You sound like you're just in this for your own ego."

Harleen purses her lips and lets out a breath. "No, you're right. You're right. It's not about me. But… what if there were someone who could control him?"

"Excuse me, what?" Ivy asks.

Harleen lowers her voice. "Hope, Pamela. Remember? Hope comes in many forms, many sizes. Imagine how much safer Arkham would be if we could control the Joker."

Ivy stares at Dr. Quinzel with widened eyes.

Four guards escort Ivy down a hall. She takes a deep breath. A guard pushes her into the bars. She turns around, angered at them. With the four of them together in front of her, she blows a mist out of her handcuffed hands, which promptly knocks them out.

"What did you want?" a voice asks from behind the bars she's standing in front of.

Ivy turns around again. This is something she wants, too. "I think Dr. Quinzel was right about trying to dispose of unpleasantries between us."

Joker looks at the gash on Ivy's green cheek, which is all dried up now. "Goddamn it, haven't I killed you yet?" he asks.

Ivy takes another breath to calm herself. There's only one way to do this, seduce the Joker. It was much easier before, when she didn't know what kind of a monster he was [Batman and Ivy, Chapter 3].

Hope. Stay hopeful. Stay hopeful… in Arkham. Maybe it's where I belong. Maybe Dr. Strange was right. But if he's right, maybe there's really nothing to be worried about. They're all just here to help me. Except for him. Ivy stares at the pale, wide-grinned monstrosity before him. I want to kill him. I want to torture him. I want to do everything to him that he did to me.

Joker stops grinning, having grown quite annoyed. "WELL?"

Ivy rolls her eyes. "Listen, dear. I know you had an—" Joker's hand thrusts a long, green metal spike into her cheek, or something. He laughs as her skin tears in two, shrieking as her inner layers are exposed to the air. "—outbreak," she continues, reining her mind back into the conversation.

"Oh, do go on," Joker remarks with a smile.

"I mean, she's right. We should make up." Her mind constantly distracts her with every last act he did to her. She dangles the cuffs they've yet to upgrade and puts her hand on her hip, mustering up a smile. "Let's get out of here, you and me."

Joker is unimpressed. "It's not very clever, you know. This is obviously a trap, but what the hey? It might be fun. How exactly do you plan on getting us out of here, Ivy?" he asks with an eyebrow raised.

Now, Ivy's cell might be modified to keep Ivy in, but there's nothing special about Joker's cell designed to keep Ivy from breaking in. Ivy puts her hands on the bars. A faint stream of smoke begins.

"I see. That certainly is a neat li'l party trick, but I don't have all day, tsk, tsk, tsk."

"Quiet, you."

Ivy concentrates with all her strength. The inch-thick bars seem to take forever to dissolve through. So much so, that her she is quite startled when her years of impatiently waiting are up. Joker snorts after a few minutes of feigned snoring. He yawns and stretches boisterously.

"You could say 'thank you.'"

"Eff you," Joker sneers.

Yeah, there's no way in Hell I'm seducing this shit.

"Thank you… for breaking poor Uncle Joker out of this cruel, terribly boring bore of a place. Now give Uncle J. a hug."

Maybe I can do one better than that.

Ivy fully embraces Joker's hug and plants a deep and lengthy kiss on his lips. Oddly enough, Joker seems to enjoy it. Even weirder, Ivy seems to enjoy it when she realizes Joker was tricked so easily. They break away and Joker comes out of it dazed. It worked!

/

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Harleen exclaims when viewing the footage of it.

She tries not to get too upset, knowing this is exactly what she wanted from her, but part of her is jealous of Ivy in that moment.

An eyebrow is raised. "Is something a problem?" Doctor Strange asks from across the lab as he injects a green, leafy monster with some serum.

Harleen awkwardly shakes her head.

"Three, it's a magic number.
Yes it is, it's a magic number…."

"My God, you can't be serious."

"I mean, we're locked up in an asylum, Roxy. What else am I supposed to do with this? Batman wouldn't be very happy if I killed him. Neither would the doctors here at Arkham."

"It's just… really?"

Ivy tilts her head as she stands in the corner of their cell, trying to get a good angle of Joker's cell.

"…We've got to learn to
Reduce, reuse, recycle…." his voice echoes down the hall as shouts of protest from the other inmates rise.

/

"Listen, Ivy. You want to do this, do it right. Hey, Joker, bro?"

"I only answer to Ivy."

"Do it. I bet you my entire lunch he'll only last two minutes. Don't you wanna see him get a li'l beat up?"

Ivy looks across the cafeteria at Joker's table. Victor Zsasz, the Ventriloquist without his puppet (welcome back, by the way), Killer Moth being kicked out for the twentieth time in a row….

"Joker, dear, why don't you tell one of your bad puns or something and rile up your friends. Brownie points if you get them to beat you up. Don't leave us waiting!"

Joker obeys Ivy's command and heads towards the other table.

"Man, I would pay big money to watch him fight Croc."

"No. We're not making Joker fight Croc, Roxy. Besides, he's in isolation again. He must be so alone."

Joker arrives at the table. He wears a large grin, but he says nothing.

"…You okay, Mr. Joker?" the Ventriloquist asks.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?" he answers.

"Not you!" Joker says as he delivers a right hook that sends the Ventriloquist flying out of his seat. "Ha ha ha ha!"

"What the hell, Joker? Can't a man eat in peace? Don't disturb my lunch," Zsasz drones.

"Oh, yes. DO let me disturb your lunch!"

Joker grabs Zsasz's plastic spoon and swipes madly as hard as he can, grazing the bald, scarred man's arm.

"Aah, what the f—" Zsasz examines his arm closely. No blood… yet. "That was uncalled for, Joker. Must I teach you a lesson?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about such a small injury, Zsasz. I don't think it will scar like your other ones. Say… I could make it bigger for you! HeheheHEH!"

Zsasz's injury slowly starts to bleed. He cups the area around the cut, momentarily. "C-cut…. You shouldn't have done that, clown!" He suddenly grabs the man next to him, knees him in the stomach, then grabs his neck as he doubles over. Immediately after that, Zsasz snaps the man's neck, killing him. The rest of Joker's allies scatter. Zsasz grabs another plastic spoon and breaks off the end, creating a jagged edge. He then shoves that side of the spoon into his cut and carves it out wider.

"You made me do it, Joker. But guess what? I have room for one more mark on that arm. You think you fool Gotham into thinking you're happy, Joker? The truth is you're miserable, constantly miserable. You hide it, from everyone. You crave attention to fill that void we all have, but what you really need… true catharsis. I will end your suffering. And I will make your mark on my arm. Proof that even the craziest of you can be cured."

Arkham security finally comes to the scene. The two of them look around at the guards behind each other. Joker grins widely at Zsasz. Zsasz smirks maliciously at Joker. The two of them instantly engage the guards behind them. Joker swipes a guard's gun and fires at the rest. Zsasz takes a straightstick and bludgeons his guards. The entire cafeteria erupts into war between the guards and the inmates.

Ivy stares wide-eyed at the chaos. "No. This isn't what I wanted."

Roxy stares in anticipation and excitement. Never before has she felt such excitement. Never before has she felt such a high. The adrenaline pumps through her veins. "This. Is what I'm talking about."

But Ivy has more pressing concerns than her friend's renewed provocation. It may be too late to stop the chaos around her, but the Joker has to snap out of it. Maybe Harleen was wrong about controlling the Joker. Maybe she wasn't. But she knows she's too partial to be the one in control. Dr. Strange was right about her. She sees now, he was only trying to protect her. It's time to take some responsibility.

Before her is a crowd of perhaps a hundred people at once, divided into two factions—mostly. The guards are outnumbered, but they have better gear. She'll only have a few minutes before the tear gas comes out. Ivy is immune, of course, but by that time, the guards will be free enough to take her down, too.

Joker. Zsasz. Engaged in the middle of the chaos. Zsasz has apparently disarmed Joker, leaving the two in melee combat—Zsasz with the straightstick and Joker with a T-baton nightstick.

Ivy dodges some flying chairs and is knocked to the ground when a guard with a riot shield pushes someone into her. Ivy stands to face the man with the riot shield. He slowly advances towards her, so she engages. She raises both arms to feign an overhead attack, then sweeps his legs out from under him. She dodges more chairs and more people being pushed into her, when she finally gets to the epicenter of the chaos.

"Joker!" He doesn't hear her. "JOKER!"

"What is it, Honey Bun?"

Well, that is officially gross. "You have to snap out of it!"

Joker takes a straightstick to the side of his face from Zsasz, releasing some blood out of his mouth.

"I woufd rove to felp, Sweefie, vut I'rm kind of irn zhe middle of fumthing."

Frick's sake. Zsasz is fully focused on Joker, so she finds a used taser on the ground and pistol whips him.

"Fhanks, Fhunny Bun."

"Joker. It's over. Just… you be you and… stop being creepy…er than usual."

"Wha' do you mearn?"

Ivy kisses Joker full-on again. They glide they tongues against each other, before Ivy promptly bites his tongue.

"Aah! Wha, wha… Ivy?! Whaf zhe hell is goink on?!"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with." She promptly pistol whips him, too. Ivy expels a breath of relief and accomplishment, gently sitting on the floor amongst the chaos. The tear gas begins to roll in.

Meanwhile, Roxy is spin kicking and brute forcing her way through as many people she can, whether they be a guard or an inmate. She has a bloody nose, but it barely bothers her. She finds the broken spoon on the floor that started the fight. She then looks at Joker and Zsasz, lying defeated on the floor, both of them still breathing. She looks at Ivy, who she knows ended the fight. She sees billows of tear gas roll in, slowly making their way to the center.

"…That's it?" Roxy asks, quite disappointed.

Roxy bends over to pick up the broken spoon on the floor.

Is that all it takes? One small cut for the rush of a fight?

The tear gas reaches the center of the room. Ivy is cuffed and escorted out. Roxy lies on the floor in tears, her eyes burning. But a smile creeps across her face.

- End Chapter 5 -