Episode Placement:
GF = after finale (S3?)
OH = between S1E7 and E8

Mabel giggled at a funny meme Luz had texted her. Who doesn't love pics of an angry-looking kitty and a toad sipping coffee? She texted Luz a bunch of laughing emojis and scratched Waddles.

Luz, meanwhile, was sitting on the couch in the living room with King sleeping by his side. Or at least trying to. He was in the perfect spot, but Luz's giggling was disturbing his slumber. Luz texted back: It's so good to have someone appreciate these! Eda thinks their stupid and King never gets them.

M: Memes are a rare language only teenagers and creepy forty-year-olds understand.

Luz texted a gif of a guy pointing and saying "you got me there" and she scratched King's back. He rolled over in his sleep and Luz scratched his tummy.

L: So whatcha doin' today?

M: Dipper wants to go investigate some new anomaly.

L: Cool! What is it?

M: … You know, why don't I get him to tell you? Are you up for visitors today?

L: YES! Yes, yes, YES! I'll ask Eda!

Luz hurried off the couch and ran up outside to find Eda drinking out of her 30 & Flirty mug in the warm sun. "Eda! Can Mabel come over and bring her brother Dipper?"

"That human girl you met last week?" Eda asked and shrugged. "Sure, okay. Just make sure her uncle won't be after my blood."

"Thanks Eda, you're the best!" And Luz hurriedly texted Mabel back.

Mabel's phone made a dazzling noise, like sparkles, meaning she got a text. She squealed and Dipper then entered the bedroom, having been blackmailed into a shower by his own twin. He was shaking his hair dry, fully dressed, when Mabel said, "Dip-Dip, cancel your plans for today!"

"What, but we were gonna investigate the graveyard for loose zombies, remember?"

"Not anymore! You're gonna see the Boiling Isles!"

Dipper gasped and dropped his towel. "Are you serious?! The Boiling Isles! I've been wanting a chance to see it for myself and record it in my journal!"

"Well, now you've got one." Mabel hopped off the bed and said, "We just gotta make sure it's okay with Grunkle Stan first."

Dipper slammed on his pinetree hat and hurried with Mabel downstairs. They found both of their great-uncles in front of the TV, Stan trying to explain some new show to Ford, but the old-school scientist just couldn't see the appeal in a show about a bird and a raccoon terrorizing an amusement park.

"Can we go see Luz at the Boiling Isles today, please please please?!" Mabel begged, using her cuteness as a weapon against her temporary-guardians.

'You expect me to allow my kids into a dangerous world full of monsters and demons and some creepy witch?" Stan asked with a raised eyebrow, but then smiled. "Sounds like fun! Have at it."

Mabel and Dipper cheered and high-fived, then the hyperactive girl gave her Grunkle Stan a quick hug before running off into the kitchen with the sweaty teenage boy to text Luz.

"Are you sure that is a good idea, Stanley?" Ford asked.

The younger twin shrugged. "I trust her."

"Who? Mabel or Eda?"

"Yes." Ford snorted and gave his brother a sly look. Stan narrowed his eyes at him and grunted, "What?"

"You like her, don't you?" Ford asked.

"Who? My niece or some creepy owl lady?"

"Yes."

Stan laughed and punched Ford's shoulder. "Yeah, right. Eda's just a fun story to tell and a cool chick. She's not my type."

"Right, because your type is gigantic man-eating spiders and deadly sirens." Ford said sarcastically. "I saw the way you looked at her. I haven't seen you smile quite like that since Carla McCorkle."

"That's ancient history." Stan said dryly. "I'm way over her. Besides, Eda and I've got our own lives. Sure, what we had was great back in the day, and yeah I'll admit it, it was love at first sight, but love dies off, you know." He didn't at all sound a little bit bitter or hurt.

Ford shrugged and stood up for another cup of coffee. "Maybe whatever you two had will come back. Look, I may have twelve PhDs, but I know next to nothing about girls and dating or whatever, but I do know my own brother, and I saw a side of you I haven't seen in a long time: you looked truly, genuinely happy."

Stan stood so he could punch his twin's shoulder softly. "I am happy, Sixer. I've got you and the kids. I don't need anything else."

Ford smiled. "I can understand that logic. Still, try to keep an open mind, Knucklehead." And he walked off to the kitchen for some more caffeine.

Eda unlocked the door and soon a pair of Caucasian twins with brown hair and matching eyes ran through. The girl grinned at the sight of Luz and the boy smiled politely. Mabel ran up to Luz and the girls hugged and squealed in delight.

"This'll be so much fun!" Luz cheered. "I have so many things to show you! Tons of books filled with monsters, a real-life demon, I can even show you my light spell!"

"Thanks for having us!" Mabel said to both Luz and Eda. "This is my brother, Dipper."

"Nice to meet you, kid." Eda said with a wink.

"The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Eda." Dipper admired and immediately pulled out his notebook from his vest and was ready to take notes. "Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions about your kind and what it means to be a witch?"

"Maybe later, kid." Eda said casually. "If you'll excuse me, I'm off to take a nap." She walked behind her dresser and snapped her fingers, magically changing into her pajamas. She yawned into her hand and made her way up the stairs. "Stay as long as you want and just don't make a mess and don't wake me up unless you wanna die a slow and painful death. Oh. Luz." Eda tossed her the key from the top of the stairs and the human caught it. "So you don't have to wake me up to send the other humans home."

"Thanks, Eda." Luz called and the door closed. "So, Dipper, Mabel says you two do a lot of exploring?" She asked.

"Oh yeah," Dipper acknowledged. "Gravity Falls is filled with tons of anomalies and weird stuff. We've faced eyebats, gremloblins, zombies, ghosts, an army of angry gnomes…"

"Wow! That's so cool!" Luz said and opened the front door. "You'll definitely like it here! I'll give you guys a quick tour."

"YES!" The twins cheered and hurried out the door, but were frozen with shock when the door spoke.

"Finally! Company! I've been waiting for someone to hear my stories! Okay, so one time a bug crawled into my eye and… OW!" Hooty was interrupted by Dipper using his journal to smack the talking owl head on the - well, on the head. "Geez! Ow! Hoot!"

"Sorry," Dipper winced.

"Aw!" Mabel squealed and reached up to scratch the top of her head. "He's so cute! Who's a good door, who's a good door?"

"I dunno, is it me?" Hooty cooed, putty in Mabel's hands as she scratched him lovingly.

"Alright, come on guys. Hooty's gotta guard the house while Eda and King are napping." Luz said and led the way into town.

Dipper and Mabel grinned as one walked beside Luz to talk and the other wrote in his journal diligently.

Gus was squealing where he stood with Willow by his side. She smiled and rolled her eyes affectionately at her close friend and said, "Gus, if you don't calm down you're going to faint again."

"I haven't fainted in two years." Gus defended. "I'm fine. I just wanna know what Luz's surprise is!"

"I wonder if it's a new spell she learned, Or a gift from the human world."

Gus gasped loudly and shouted, "What if it's a tiny clock for your wrist?! What if it's a ball that can float on it's own?! WHAT IF IT'S A SMALL ENTERTAINMENT RECTANGLE?!"

"Look, there she is!" Willow pointed the human out and waved.

Meanwhile, Luz was talking to the twins as she walked with them. "Now remember that it's rude to stare, never trust a man in sandals, and always measure twice, cut once."

"Measure… twice… cut… once…" Dipper muttered as he wrote Luz's tips in his journal. "Got it."

"Now, I want you two to meet… oh hey! There they are! Willow! Gus!" Luz called and approached her friends quickly with her visitors.

Gus gasped loudly and was then speechless, completely stone-still with his mouth hanging open. Luz smiled at his reaction while Willow grinned happily. "Hey guys! This is Dipper and Mabel, humans from the human realm! Guys, this is Willow and Gus, they're my best friends."

"Wow! Elves!" Mabel squealed, at once catching the pointy ears and holding out a hand to shake. "Hi! I'm Mabel! It's so nice to meet you."

Willow giggled and shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you too, but we're not elves; we're witches. See," And Willow made a circle at the dirt, making a pretty pink flower sprout and bloom. She plucked it and held it out to Mabel and said, "Welcome to the Boiling Isles."

"Oh, wowie zowie." The human breathed and pinned the flower by her ear. "Thank you!"

"Are you two really humans?" Willow asked.

Dipper smiled as he pocketed his journal and pen in his vest; he knew these witches were probably just as excited to meet humans as these humans were excited to meet witches. "Yup. I gotta admit, I've seen lots of weird stuff but this place is even more weird and mysterious than anything I've ever saw."

"I'm glad you like it here." Willow then noticed how little Gus was speaking and gently elbowed him. "Gus, say something." She whispered softly.

"Ack… ah…" The young witch gasped, the nerd in him overtaking his logic, his brain slower than a snail on a turtle's back to the overwhelming fantasy coming true. "Ears... wire… teeth… round…"

"Uh, is he okay?" Mabel asked.

"He's fine." Luz said calmly. "He's the president of the Human Appreciation Society at school."

"Oh, cool." Dipper said. "So this would be like me meeting the author for him." He added to his sister, who giggled, and then she asked,

"So, what do you guys like to do for fun?"

Luz, Willow, and Gus all grinned excitedly as they exchanged looks and they happily grabbed the twins' hands and took them on an adventure into the unknown.

Vexing off some frustrations and hoping to forget her worries for a moment with a successful evening of winning bets and making money, Eda counted her bills one more time. It was enough to slap a man like it was a glove. With her flaming orange hair everywhere, her shiny gold tooth sparkling alongside her excited eyes, and comfortable in casual human attire, it felt good to leave behind the Boiling Isles for a while and be somewhere new. Not that she intended to stay; she didn't quite belong here.

Eda reached for a slot machine handle and pulled. One strawberry, two strawberries, and a banana. The hidden witch frowned and growled in her throat, determined to outwit this thing. She decided to give it one more try before incorporating some magic. She reached for the handle only to have her hand touch someone else's hand.

Her golden eyes landed on a buff man around her age. He wore a red Hawaiian shirt, his buttons a little low to showcase a gold chain and a bit of chest hair. Scars littered his knuckles and he had a five o'clock shadow on his square chin, his shaggy brown hair nearly long enough to be a mullet. His brown eyes sparked with excitement and he immediately put on a sly grin that made Eda smirk in return. Instantly she knew this guy was going to give her a good time.

He let go of the slot machine, shrugged and gestured to the machine, and said, "Good luck."

Eda smiled, pulled the lever, and decided to perform a small spell behind her back with her free hand. One strawberry, two strawberries, three strawberries. Blinking lights and spitting money clarified Eda's victory and she punched the air several times. "Yes yes yes yes yes!" She scooped up her loot into her bag and challenged, "Let's see if you can do any better, Muscles."

The guy smiled cockily and gave it a shot, rubbing his hands together and popping his knuckles. To Eda's pleasant surprise, the guy got three bananas, earning four times the amount the witch won, and he gave a barking laugh that Eda found pleasant and full-hearted. "Eat it, toots!" Stan bragged as he pocketed the winnings and pulled out a big stack of cash to flaunt. "Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but looks like Lady Luck's on my side tonight."

"You wish," Eda snorted. "Tell you what, buster, let's make this night even more interesting."

The guy raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh?"

"You and I play against each other for the rest of the evening. Whoever wins the most from this point forward… I don't know, the winner lives in glory and the loser wallows in eternal shame."

The guy leaned across the machine, still as cocky as ever with a smile as sly as a fox. "How about loser treats winner out to breakfast?"

Eda crackled a laugh and held out a hand to shake. "You've got a deal."

The guy took her hand, shook it, and said, "Name's Stan by the way."

Eda said the first back-up name that came to mind. "Marilyn." She would be an idiot to give away her real name in a dodgy place like Las Vegas.

And so the competitive game of betting at the club began. From poker to blackjack to straight-up dice rolling and slot machines, the two spirited and care-free adults roamed the casino with one goal: to kick the other's butt. All the while they talked like they were old friends. It was crazy ridiculous how easy their talks were. Everything just worked.

Between cocktails and anything with a buzz, the two were foul cheaters, one brilliantly street-smart and the other crafty and gifted with a certain set of skills. One time Stan tried to leave a table and fell on his face to find his shoelaces tied, even though he could have sworn Eda never had a chance to prank him. Eda quickly liked this guy a lot; he was fun! She could poke fun at him without worrying about hurting his wittle feewings, rather he would poke back and make her laugh. Even as she threw dice at his head once in order to swipe his winnings, he grabbed her wrist, tickled her ribs, and swiped some of her gold; Eda retaliated by pouncing on him like a bird after her prey and they wrestled for a moment before Stan threw her down and laughed. Eda grinned, impressed he could fight, and they high-fived before moving on.

It was a close call, but by three in the morning Stan was richer by five bucks, so Eda shrugged and said she was only passing through and wondered if he knew a place with edible food. Stan, who had been living in town for about a month, took her in the Stanmobile and drove her to a cheap 24-hour diner by the interstate. The whole time they chatted pleasantly, making fun of the other and telling stories and generally having a good time. As Stan drove and his hair became a wild mess, Eda smiled at him; she had never felt this way about anyone. No one challenged her or made her feel this important.

And so Eda found herself eating pancakes with tons of strawberries and strawberry syrup, sipping a mug of black coffee. Stan was telling another story in between bites of pancake with eggs and plenty of bacon, his coffee also as black as the night. Eda listened, entertained, and held her mug with both of her pale hands to keep them warm.

"... so I said to the bouncer, 'where's your idea, ugly?' And that's how I got this scar." And Stan rolled back his sleeve to show off the proof of his story.

Eda laughed and tilted her head up to show a tiny scar under her chin. "I got this one from playing with my sister. She tricked me and I ran after her and tripped over a tree root and landed on a rock. Blood was everywhere, Mother was furious at her, which was all the payback I needed; she almost never got into trouble."

"Ah, got a goody-two-shoes sibling, huh?" Stan asked, leaned back in his booth as he ate another piece of bacon.

"Can you relate?"

Stan laughed. "Yeah, my older brother Shermie's a total square. He's an okay guy, though. Made me an uncle."

"That's nice." Eda said. "Lily will never make me an aunt; she's already married to the law." She groaned, adding a gagging noise for comedic effect, and she sipped her coffee.

"Ugh, are you related to a cop?" Stan groaned and held his forehead as he smiled.

"More like a detective."

"Hey, I had an uncle who was a detective." Stan remembered. "Cool guy; smoked a pack a day, but he had this bachelor's apartment in New York City and cracked tons of cases. He wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty, good ole Uncle Jack. So, do you still talk to your sister, or…"

Eda shrugged. "Not really. She decided I wasn't good enough for her and I decided she wasn't worth it, so we kinda went our separate ways."

Stan nodded solemnly, his eyes elsewhere. "It happens. I don't really talk to my family anymore."

"Sorry." She said sympathetically, her eyes anywhere but her date.

"Meh. I'm not." Stan lied easily. "If the guy wants to go to some smarty-pants school and live a boring life, always knowing what's gonna happen, that's his mistake."

Eda smiled and chuckled under her throat. "My thoughts exactly. Life isn't proper; it's wild and unpredictable, but that's what makes it so beautiful."

Stan smiled and pointed at her. "I like your philosophy, babe."

"Your's isn't so bad, handsome." Eda replied in her mug. "Could use some polishing, but hey what do I know?"

Stan smiled and the conversation shifted. That drunken state a lack of sleep will give you, but neither were willing to turn in just yet. Eda still had a goal she wanted to reach before leaving town; if she wanted to more than double her winnings, she would have to be slippery, but she couldn't help but have an amazing time and actually feel something beyond an excitement for trouble.

About an hour later, now only snacking on coffee and water and probably pissing off their waiter, Eda asked, "Hey Stan, wanna marry me?"

Stan stared at her, breathing in water, and needing a minute to clear his windpipes before answering. "I don't think you wanna do that, Marilyn. You hardly know me." He said darkly, leaning forward and looking down.

Eda took the hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it gently. "I know enough." She stood, leaned over the table, and kissed Stan.

It was actually really nice. Like, really nice. Sure she could do without the taste of coffee and the sticky syrup on his lips, but when he kissed back and had a hand in her wild hair Eda's heart was pounding faster, excitement and adrenaline being the witch's favorite drug. When they parted and Eda had a knee on the table, Stan nodded. "Okay. I'll marry you."

Half an hour later, they both stood in front of Cupid with brush hair and teeth and Eda had a bundle of roses Stan had shoplifted for her. After a quick exchange of "I do"s and speeding back to Stan's motel room, they both quickly undressed and reaped from the benefits of being a couple.

Hungover and tired from an all-nighter, Eda slept in Stan's arms nearly all day, finally waking up around three in the afternoon with Stan still asleep. She laid there and smiled, eyes closed and enjoying having such warm and strong arms wrapped around her. After spending so many years alone, it was nice to sleep with someone she loved.

Heck, she may love him but he didn't need a witch criminal in her life. And Eda's life was too unpredictable to risk being tied down. So she went over her plan and was confident it would work. It might hurt for a minute, but soon Stan would look back on this and laugh. He was just that kind of guy.

After coffee and some bananas to help with the headaches, Stan got in the shower, leaving Eda alone. Perfect. Even all of their winnings from last night were on the table. Quickly re-dressing with a snap of her fingers, the cunning witch quietly scooped up the cash into her bag and hung it over her shoulder. She looked around the room and considered taking a souvenir, a human artifact to sell, but while Stan had many things she liked (many things others saw as garbage), Eda decided to go easy on her husband; she owed him that. In her neon pink shirt, blue-jean skirt, and heeled boots, Eda quietly opened the door and tip-toed out of the room. But then she suddenly heard the sounds of the shower being turned off and the curtains being drawn back. Right, males took shorter showers.

Eda quickly left and let the door make a loud-ish click noise. Let's give Stan a warning. Let him fight for it, maybe. The red Diablo was right in front of her, giving her an idea. Rather than running away to then later duck through a door, Eda changed her plan; she was going to give Stan one hell of an adventure. She made circles on the door and it unlocked, then used circles on the engine and the cluttered car roared to life. She grinned, her golden tooth sparkling and her eyes ablaze like her hair, and just as Stan stood at the motel's door in a maroon bathrobe and a towel held by his wet hair, Eda stepped on the gas and happily let the tires screech her farewell.

"HEY!"

Eda cackled and snorted all the way out of the motel's parking lot and down the street. She relaxed and even rolled down the window to lean out and enjoy some fresh air. Not the same as flying, but close enough. Eda was going over her escape plan in her head when she noticed something behind her. She even turned her head back surprisingly far and saw Stan - still in his bathrobe - chasing after her in a stolen motorcycle.

Eda grinned. "I knew I married that guy for more than one reason." She sped up and happily dodged traffic and pedestrians. In fact, one or two things in her way may or may not have floated above her and then safely come back down, but who knows?

First the lights, then the sirens. The witch knew what that meant: the guards of the human realm. She glanced back at her mirror and saw Stan being followed by three cop-cars. One cop even called to her on the radio, but she ignored it and headed for the interstate out of Las Vegas. Time to make history.

Just as she merged, Stan did the same, but the cops were forced to wait for an opening. Stan somehow managed to speed up next to Eda. "What the hell, Marilyn?!" He yelled.

"Sorry, handsome, gotta keep you on your toes." Eda said coolly, leaning on her elbow on the window. "Gotta keep life unpredictable, y'know?" She added with a wink and sped up, leaving Stan behind.

He sped up a bit, slowly catching up, and Eda could see that the cops were on the interstate. Time for the grand escape.

The Stanmobile was brought off the busy road and down into the sandy desert. Down into the mouth of a canyon Eda sped, with the bike still closely behind her. Eda grinned, swerved behind a sharp rock, and jumped out with her bag on her shoulder. She dug through the pocket of her skirt for her key and pressed the eye. Just as Stan swerved around the sharp rock, she blew him a kiss with a foxy wink and disappeared.

Stan stared, red-faced and still in his bathrobe, as the doorway disappeared. The cops finally caught up as Stan tried to wrap his head around whatever happened, and the one in charge asked him, "Where did she go?!"

The conman quickly collected his thoughts. "Dunno, car was like this when I caught up. She's probably somewhere in this canyon."

While the police searched the canyon for a runaway newlywed, Stan smiled, impressed with her work, and checked his still-running car. It looked like she had hot-wired his baby and hadn't taken any of his junk, but what was really weird was there was a feather in the driver's seat. Huh.

Episode Placement:
GF = after finale (S3?)
OH = between S1E9 and E10

After finally being accepted into Hexside, not only did Luz become more invested in learning about the historical wizarding school, she became even more invested in learning about her mentor. Those permanent records giving tid-bits of Eda's childhood really made Luz more curious about her, and she figured a good place to keep on searching was the old boxes in a storage closet.

Luz had come across it when she had put away the not-witchy broom after completing a chore. Her eyes landed on a box on a top shelf and she grinned, wondering if old photos were in it. She grabbed it and sat in on the floor, on her knees as she rubbed her hands together and took off the lid to reveal a mix-match of assorted items. There were some pictures and photographs, but it was mostly filled with old clothes. Luz picked up an old "Over 30 and Very Flirty" t-shirt and giggled at it.

Something fell out from the folds of the shirt and Luz picked it up. She squinted at the old picture and gasped loudly when she realized what she was looking at. "Is that…?"