Now then, I'm sure you're all wondering what this is, right? Well, I was planning this one for a while, but then DBZA ended, and I realized had to get this out here. So, expect a lot of TFS references, because I know we're all gonna miss the series, and you can consider this like a miniature love letter of sorts.

As for how this will affect my other stories...well, it'll take a backseat to everything else. My main goal is to flesh out my first fic and make sure the storyline gets to the point where I want it. My second fic will get less frequently updated now, as the chapters I'm going to write will be a lot longer than normal, and as I don't have a schedule that means you won't see a lot of updates immediately, so please be patient with it. My other fic will have updates in between, but so far I wanna focus on the main two that I'd like to push through.

And as for this, well I hope you enjoy story 4 of the Kakyoin Chronicles (is that really what I'm calling it? Oh well...).

Disclaimer: The Following is a fan-based PARODY crossover. Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, and Dragon Ball Super are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Shueisha and Akira Toriyama. RWBY is owned by Rooster Teeth, Warner Bros. Japan, and the late Monty Oum.

Please support the official releases.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!AAAHHH!AAAHHH!AAAHHHH!AAAAHHH!"

"Arthur…"

"AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!"

"Arthur, please stop screaming…"

"AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH!AHH! AAAHHH!AAAHHHH!AAAAHHH! AAAHHH..Ah...ah..."

"...You done?"

"...AH!AH!AH!AH!"

"Alright, this is getting really annoying…" the unknown voice behind me said boredly. I heard a loud flashing sound as something slithered towards me. "Haierofanto In Hebun!"

*THWACK*

"G-GAaah!" I fell to the floor with wide eyes as the strange teen loomed over me, then took a look at my surroundings.

Golden world, golden sky, golden grass, and golden trees, everything was pure gold. The table in front of me looked as though the wood had been sanded with the stuff, and the person in front of me, a schoolboy in a green outfit with red hair done up in a twisting bang, was actually sitting on a golden throne. Behind the teen, a strange golden robot-like creature floated, its hands held together in a sort of prayer.

"W-What's going on?! What happened?! I was just in the street and-"

"Calm down, Arthur," the redhead said gently. "You just died, it's no big deal."

"...NO BIG DEAL?!"

"O-Okay, it's kind of a big deal…" the teen rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Maybe I should be more gentle when I do that. I mean, it worked for Jareth, and Charlie didn't seem to mind...that's at least two...Jojo didn't meet me at the time-"

"What are you going on about?! Just...wait a minute...aren't you that guy from Jojo's? My friend goes on about it like it's the best thing since sliced bread!"

The redhead seemed to straighten and puff up cheerfully at my exclamation. "Well, I'm glad you recognize me...and thank you for the compliment, I'm glad a small portion of my life was entertaining to-"

"You're the guy who licked the toilet, right?"

He quickly sweatdropped, and the golden being beside him (his Stand?) sagged a bit. "N-No, that was Polnareff...I'm Kakyoin...you know," Kakyoin's face fell at my ignorance. "I'm...I'm the guy that licks cherries and loves MILFs."

"Ooooooooohhhhhh!" I blushed slightly at the teen's annoyance. "I'm sorry I didn't recognize you sooner."

"I mean, to most people they're my only defining traits, but n-no biggie," the redhead shrugged blithely before pulling out a tablet. "Alright, so I figure I should explain everything to you. You're gonna be reincarnated into another world, in another form. I know, I know, 'why am I not getting my old body?', it's a common question."

"What, so you guys are too cheap to give me my body back?"

"If we had things to work with, we could just remake it. Sometimes we just can't recreate the damn thing, and really it's been proven through test groups that starting over in a new body has a positive effect," Kakyoin tilted his head and gave me a cheerful grin. "You know, it really helps you get on board with the whole 'second chance' thing that new lives are meant for."

"Okay...wait, what if I get reincarnated as a girl though?! I don't wanna be a girl, I'm too used to having a dick!"

The redhead snorted at this. "I've gotten that question more times than I can count. You'll be reincarnated as the gender you feel most comfortable with...unless you ask for it. I've only had that happen once for me though."

"Alright, and why is a character from an anime overseeing all this?" I asked skeptically. "Is this all in my head? Some kind of fever dream as I'm dying in the ambulance or something?"

Kakyoin snapped his fingers, causing red and gold wings to appear behind him, and a halo to manifest over his head. "I'm an angel, obviously, so I have to oversee some of these things...also, I'm an anime character because...well," the redhead shrugged nervously. "You're getting anime powers, I guess that's a good way to put it."

"Aww, sweet...wait, do I get a magical girl transformation?"

"You just went on about how you don't want to be a girl," the angel deadpanned.

"Y-Yeah, but anybody can have a magical girl transformation!" I cried out, pointing at him hotly. "You could have done all that with a magical girl transformation!"

"...Well...I mean...one time…"

"See! You can't disagree with me on this!"

"Let's just get back to your body," he groaned tiredly. "Let's see if we could recreate the old one...PFFT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"W-What?! What's so funny?!"

"Oh! Oh gods, I can't believe I actually got one…BAHAHAHAHA!" Kakyoin stifled his laughter slightly as he pulled out a cell phone and dialed. "Oh...pfft...I gotta tell him about this…"

"Tell who?!"

"Hush, I'm on the phone," the redhead smirked as the other end was picked up. "Hey, Avdol, you'll never believe what happened to me!"

"Kakyoin? While I am quite pleased to hear from you, I have a meeting in several minutes. Apparently some of your cases are involved-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard about that. I know I'll be getting another review soon, but listen...pfft…" he looked at me for a split second before glancing back to his phone. "I got a 'Truck-kun' right here as my newest case."

"...Are you joking?"

"No, I'm not! He was actually Truck-kunned!" Kakyoin let out another barking laugh. "It says so right here on my tablet when I did the...the thing. He really got Truck-kunned!"

There was a loud bout of laughter from the other end of the line. "I...I just looked it up...Pffft, hahahahahaha! I never thought I'd see it happen to somebody! It's just so rare nowadays."

"Hello! I'm right here!" I cried out. "Also, those little kids could have really died, you know! That driver was literally up to his neck in beer bottles!"

"I know, I know, and it's a terrible thing to happen to somebody, Arthur."

"Yes, I'm certain those children will be forever grateful for your sacrifice, young man!"

"That said...hahahahaha! Truck-kun! I actually got a Truck-kun case! This is just hilarious!"

"Well, I'm glad my misfortune is so entertaining…" I deadpanned as the two laughed with one another. "Can I just go back to being alive now?"

"Ahahahah-Oh, shit, you're right!" Kakyoin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Uh...I'll talk to you later, Avdol."

"It was a pleasure speaking to you, as always, Kakyoin. And thank you for the entertainment."

The angel grabbed his tablet as soon as the line went dead, and moved to sit back down on his gilded chair. "Alright, let's get this over with. Reincarnated into another world, special powers probably, maybe a cheat item…"

"H-How many times have you done this?" I asked nervously.

"At least 3 before you. First one, they died and spent time as a ghost for a long time, and when they finally got here, they asked to be reincarnated in a way where they'd be completely different from their old selves...also, they wanted to forget their old life," Kakyoin shook his head sadly as he held the tablet up. "It was a pretty complicated thing...the next two were a bit easier. I mean, one didn't meet me first, but the one who did was pretty cool."

*DING*

"Ooh, look at that! Dimension 0.U.M, sub-universe 7," the redhead cocked his head to the side in thought. "Interesting roulette choice…"

"Okay, sounds neat...I have no idea what that means," I deadpanned. At the angel's headshake, I let out a tired sigh. "Alright, just tell me what cheat item or special power I get."

"Hang on, that wheel is still rolling."

"...Do you actually use a roulette wheel for these things?"

"It's an efficient system, alright!" he leaned forward with a concerned expression. "You know, you're not exactly worried about this."

I cocked my head to the side at his remark. "Well...I wasn't the smartest person back home, and didn't have a lot of friends, save for one or two that didn't really like me that much, just kept me around to look smarter," I let out a resigned sigh at the angel's nervous look. "Plus, my job wasn't all that good. Everybody around me thought they could walk all over me, and my boss practically gave me slave wages, it was so bad. The only thing people will probably remember about me is that I was the town idiot, and that I saved a few kids from getting hit by a truck...and even then, somebody will probably make that look bad."

"So, you were practically resigned from the start?"

"I was tired...not of my situation, just in general I guess…"

"That's pretty disheartening," the redhead said sadly.

*DING*

"Finally! Now then, let's see-holy shit!" Kakyoin looked at me, then back to the tablet...then back to me, and back to the tablet. His Stand suddenly pulled reading glasses from thin air and placed them on his head, to which he leaned forward with a wide-eyed look. "How the hell did you luck out like this?!"

"What?! What do I get?!"

"I mean, sure I have a one-eyed ghoul, and the guy who stops time, and a fucking Pokémon Trainer...but this…"

"Hey! Quit messing around, what is it?!"

"Oh, right! You...you're being reincarnated as a Saiyan."

I stared blankly at the angel for a full minute, then I poked inside my ear to check if my hearing was right. When I was sure I heard right, I scooted forward and formed my legs into a pretzel position as a smile stretched across my face.

"Ohoho man, this gunna be gud!"

"Don't start celebrating just yet! You could be one of the Saiyans that dies to Frieza in this world, and yes that's a thing, so-son of a bitch!" the angel's head hung low as another ding sounded out from the tablet. "Okay then, you survive that! But your new self is still in the space pod on the way to...why I am not surprised…"

"So, what now?"

"Alright, let me just check the protocols for this one," the redhead furrowed his brows as he went over something on his tablet. "Okay, so...you can get...five techniques."

"D-Does the basic Ki stuff count?"

"No, that's included because nobody likes to learn that on their own. I mean, you'll have to figure it all out, but the basics will be beamed into your brain."

"Alright...wait, can I ask for Senzu beans?"

"Yes...but you lose a chance on one technique," the angel said boredly.

"Alright then, a pack of Senzu, please!"

"Alright, now one technique has been subtracted. You now have four left."

"Ah, that's fine," I waved a hand dismissively. "I mean, I'll choose a practically useless technique, which means I'll probably get some extras."

"That is not a rule-oh...that is a rule…" Kakyoin facepalmed in annoyance. "Alright, but how many extras you get depends on the technique you first chose-"

"I want the Taiyōken!"

"...Why?"

"I think it could be really useful in combat."

"...I pray for the world that's getting you," the redhead looked down at his tablet with a frown. "Alright then, you get two extra techniques now, for a total of seven. Would've been eight, but you wanted Senzu beans, so...choose another one."

"Super Saiy-"

"No," he deadpanned. "You cannot just get an ultimate transformation. You have to train to get it or watch everyone you love die just like everybody else does."

"Aww man...okay, I chose the Kaio-ken then."

"Why am I not surprised?" the angel shook his head and set me with an annoyed stare. "Y'know what, just list them off right now."

"...You sure?"

"Yes! You already got the Kaio-ken, so you get four more. Go!"

"Neo Tri-Beam, Galick Gun, Instant Transmission, Big Bang Attack, and Hellzone Grenade."

"...Vegeta fanboy much?"

"At least he's a better dad than Goku...not Piccolo, obviously, but still-"

"Also, why the Neo Tri-Beam?"

I blinked at this before twiddling my fingers nervously. "A-Advanced Trigonometry? You know...make squares out of triangles?"

Kakyoin stared at me for a full minute before sighing. "I don't see the appeal, but it's your choice," the redhead looked back to his tablet and pressed a few buttons on screen. "Okay, you'll be heading off in fifteen."

"...F-Fifteen what? Minutes?"

"Ten."

"T-Ten what?!"

"...Five...four...three...two...one!"

"OH SNAP WAIT!"

*CRAAAASSSHHHHHHCCCCCKKKKKKKKKVVVVVVVRRRrrrrrrrrr*

"AAAGGGHHH!" I cut my own scream short as I realized I was now in an enclosed space. Then I began panicking again. "Oh god, oh god...wait, what am I saying? I shouldn't be saying that...Oh Dende, oh Dende!"

There was a loud beeping as I felt the space I was in lurch forward. I turned to look at the area around me, finding a comfortable chair at the center of a bland, ovalur space consisting of foam of some sort. Directly in front of me was a circular window with an interface beneath it.

The window...outside, I could see so much. The cosmos, and some of the many worlds it was composed of. Gorgeous nebulas, formed into pillars and tree-like trunks of interstellar dust, shimmered against the light of a billion stars. Some of those stars were directly next to one another, swirling around the other as though they were trapped in an eternal dance.

It was a beauty only contrasted by what was apparently a recently exploded planet surrounded by smoking dead bodies slowly freezing in the vacuum of space and floating past both my ship and two monstrous, hermit-crab shaped ships. One of the crab ships flashed a bit, seemingly sensing me, but then ignored me as it surveyed the destroyed planet. In front of the largest ship, I could see an ominous figure looking on at the ever-increasing-in-size fireball before them.

...Bullet dodged.

I barely shed a tear as my pod sped away from the scene like a horse charging away from its pen. I simply curled up into a ball with a contemplative look, absently fiddling with my tail as it flicked around...oh right! I have a tail now, cause Saiyan...that's gonna be a weird thing to get used to.

*fwoop*

"Eh?" I blinked as a brown pouch fell into my lap, along with a paperback book. "The heck is all this?"

The front of the book read 'Official Saiyan Handbook', in bold white letters, accompanied by detailed artwork of a Great Ape reaching out with its foot to stomp. On the back, the words 'Everything you need to know about this brutal race', stood out to me, as well as a picture of a group of scruffy looking, thuggish Saiyans.

"How convenient…" I held up the brown pouch experimentally, eyes widening as I spied a note.

'You get 15, make them count. The basic Ki stuff and all the techniques you chose will be beamed up into your head in a few minutes. Do not lose that handbook, you only get one per Saiyan.'

"Wow...uh...thank you, Kakyoin," I looked up with a reverent expression. "I really do appreciate it."

With that, I spent the next few months en route to whatever planet I had originally been sent to destroy. I figured out that the ship had life support systems already in place, so I didn't need to worry about dying before I got to my destination. I also learned that I was currently six years old, after some examination.

Starting off as a kindergartner...just wonderful.

Since I was in an enclosed space, I didn't have much room to spread myself out. So when I did get all the techniques I asked for, I didn't have any chance to train them. The only thing I could do was limited exercise, like situps and the like, and even then there was probably something about space or gravity that prevented them from working.

...Speaking of gravity, I made sure that I got as much exercise as I did when I passed through a spot with extremely dense gravity. I remembered that most of the Z-Warriors got really strong by training in those situations, and I wanted to get as much of that in as I could. Depending on the world I arrived in, I might not need it, but if I thought like that I'd get Yamchaed really quick. And they probably didn't have Dragon Balls, so I had to play everything safe.

From what I knew from the ship's interface, it had been about six months when I finally arrived. I knew I had arrived because I could feel the pod entering the atmosphere of whatever planet I had set course for. I was half-asleep when it happened, so the jolt of the surrounding air burning up as the pod began its descent startled me a bit.

I winced as the pod jostled to a stop, no doubt due to my landing, and let out a sigh. "Alright, let's see where I ended up…"

When I opened the pod, all I felt was cold. And I do mean cold, because I had apparently landed in a vast tundra covered in snow, with no sign of life whatsoever. Disregarding the fact that I was apparently sent to invade an Icy wasteland in the middle of the space sticks, I figured I'd fly around and get a lay of the land.

"Woaah! Oof!"

Okay, that's a rocky start to flying...literally...but I could get the hang of it. Just gently float around for a bit, explore my surroundings, figure out a place I could get ward-Oh hey, there are Mammoths.

...Space Mammoths?

All across the massive ice plain, there were a bunch of other furry animals that would be at home in an Ice Age documentary, from Wooly Rhinos, to thick Bison and Yak, all the way to strange deer of different varieties. So, perhaps food wouldn't be too hard to find, considering these things were finding stuff that was edible.

I landed shakily as I inspected the area around my pods impact point. The crater sat on a flat space beneath a large mountain, and the cliff below me gave way to the grand plains inhabited by the animals I had seen. While I could see a sparse amount of trees on the mountain, it remained mostly bare.

Much like myself, as I my body was quite ready to remind me through shivering. "Ugh...okay, good idea would be to make some sort of clothing, and get shelter…" I peered over the cliff as I watched the many fur-covered animals running around. "I really don't feel good about that."

"Grrrrrrrrrr…"

"Hmm?" I turned around to see whatever predator had found me, and froze.

They were...well, it was hard to describe them as anything other than weird, black Werewolves, covered in spikes and ice, with skeletal masks. A few dozen of them stared me down, some circling around me, maws slavering with slowly freezing spittle as their red eyes bored into me.

Something about them was...familiar...but I couldn't put a finger on it.

"Uh, h-hello! It's nice to meet you," I waved a hand nervously at the wolves. "My name is...uh...Articho. What are yours?"

"RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRR!"

"...Huh, that's a pretty weird name," I said nonchalantly. "Uh, how do you spell it, and what language do you use to do so?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHH!"

One of the wolves snapped their jaws a little too close for comfort, and I backed away while holding my hands up defensively. "Woah, woah! I'm just trying to have a conversation with you guys and ask some questions," I flinched as I was pushed towards the cliff edge. "Come on, we really can't talk this out?"

One of the creatures made a swipe towards me, to which I narrowly dodged to the left. Another snapped its jaws forward, ready to take off an arm had I not jumped back in time. Many of the wolves let out hissing laughs as I teetered off the edge of the cliff for a split second.

"Okay, you know what! You guys are being really rude!" I held my hand up and thrust it forward while sending them a fierce look. "RRAAAAGHH!"

Nothing happened, which really demoralized me. Some of the wolves let out barking laughs at my attempt, even holding their paws to their faces or wiping mock tears away from their faces.

"Come on! Do a Ki attack! Something!" I cried out, still thrusting my hand forward. "Damn it, this isn't funny! I'm supposed to have Ki powers, so do something-"

*FWOOOOOOOSH*

A ball of fire-like Ki suddenly shot from my hand, completely obliterating the wolf creature I had accidentally aimed for. The wolves that had been circling me to attack, and the ones laughing at me, all froze at the surprise destruction of their comrade. I blinked in shock, before standing up straight in an attempt to play it off as being part of my plan.

When the black creatures looked at me, I greeted them with a small grin. "Well, now you see the kind of mistake you've made, 'Raaawwwwrrr'," I clenched my fists as energy spiked around my being. "I'm not stuck up here with you...you're stuck up here with me!"

A few hours later

"Wow, this got easier once I figured it out," I said cheerfully as I held a ball of energy in my hand. I looked around at the wolves, and sagged slightly when I noticed their bodies quickly decaying into black mist. "Guess I'm gonna have to go down to the plains for food instead…I really am Yamcha-ed that these guys were so Raditz though*."

The sound of running water drew my attention, and I slowly trekked over to the nearby woods. In front of me was a large, steaming pool of water that drained into a stream going down the mountain. Nearby, I could see a sizable cave that was big enough that I could push my pod in if needed.

Was it a ridiculous stroke of luck? Yes, yes it was. Was I going to argue with it? Nope!

I walked over to the pool and poked a finger into the water, a gasp escaping my mouth when I felt hot water instead of nearly freezing liquid. A hot spring, which meant the mountain I was on was either an active volcano, or a dormant one.

I leaned forward as I peered at my reflection, finally getting a good look at myself after being stuck staring at a clear window into space for so long. I liked to say that I looked extremely familiar, but my hairline definitely wasn't receding or anything. I'd say this straight, spiked up hairstyle was like taking a game avatar and leaving his hair on default for Saiyans, if the first Super Saiyan was anything to go by.

"Well, I guess this is my life now," I slowly lifted off the ground and floated over to the edge of the cliff, sighing once I noticed the beasts below had turned their attention to me during the fight with the black wolves. I tilted my head at the herd with a sad smile. "Time to get settled then…"

"And that, dear council, is just another reason why we should be allowed to obtain this meteorite," the lead geologist said cheerfully. "Not only would it be a great scientific find, but if there's even a chance for some rare material within it, we must obtain it at any cost."

The council shuffled nervously as they conversed among themselves. Finally, one of them leaned forward with a concerned expression.

"And, what do you base this on...doctor-"

"Professor!"

"Ahem, right, Professor...I. Am?"

"Yes, that is correct," the man said happily. "Professor Samuel I. Am, director of geology at the Atlesian Institute of Science."

"And...what does your partner think?"

Everyone in the room turned to stare at the bored looking scientist as he stared off into space. He noticed their staring and huffed in annoyance.

"It's not like it matters, as long as we get a shiny new rock or something…"

"Because it worked so well the last time…" somebody muttered hotly.

The council leader turned to the new speaker with a tired expression. "General Ironwood, do you have anything to add?"

"...Well...while I won't deny the potential of the last extra-terrestrial substance that we obtained from a meteorite," Ironwood steepled his fingers together as a grim expression set on his face. "The fact of the matter is, I'd rather not have my specialists deal with a repeat of the 'green stuff' we have locked away."

"Is that the only reason, General?"

"No, actually," the general's hand moved towards his scroll, and after pressing a few buttons, the widescreen above the council displayed the proposed area of impact for the meteor. Alongside this were several points marked on the image of the snowy tundra, all relatively close to the impact point. "We have reason to believe that these areas are overrun with Grimm, if only by small amounts. While it isn't enough to threaten any close settlements, it would still require a few Huntsmen to clear them away."

Professor I. Am twiddled his fingers nervously. "And I can assume that you don't have the-"

"We do not currently have the resources to hire Huntsmen at this time," one of the council members finished. "We're still busy dealing with this debacle with the SDC and whether or not protests by the fang are really a military matter."

Samuel and his brother sagged a bit at this. "I see...I'm rather disappointed that we won't be getting to the meteor sooner, but it can't go very far on its own…"

One month later

Back with our hero

"Alright, got me a mammoth," I said cheerfully as I dragged the huge, furry proboscid behind me. "Just gotta bring it home in time, skin it as best I can, and then I'll have more fur for clothes...Ugh, I'll have to start a fire soon too, cook the thing from the inside out…"

"BWOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!"

"Hmm?!" I blinked as two black bear-like monsters stalked towards me from their cover in the forest. "Excuse me, but I'm trying to have an inner monologue while bringing food home. So if you could kindly leave me to it-"

"BWOAAAAARRRR!"

"Well now, there's no use for that kind of language now, is there?"

"BWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR!"

"Well, thank you for being so rude! That's where I draw the line!" I held my free hand out while glaring at the charging bears, and charged a hefty amount of energy in my palm. "BIG BANG ATTACK!"

*VWOOOOOOOOMMMM*

I looked on impassively as the smoke from the blast cleared, leaving nothing but fully vaporized ground and barely remaining charred bear that had already begun to disintegrate. I let out a sigh before continuing along with my mammoth, noting a larger bear-monster hiding in the trees. The creature took one look at me and turned around, clearly not up to getting obliterated like his friends.

"Gosh, this place is actually pretty boring. It's like everybody here is a Yamcha," I shook my head and let out a small huff. "And no blue-skinned alien babes either. This planet sucks!"

I finally got the mammoth carcass home, and after the arduous task of pushing the fat thing into my cave, and beginning the setup of skinning it. I manage to shave off more than enough to fix up my already meager amount of clothing, and put it off to the side before doing what I can to carve up a hole in the creature with my rudimentary tools. I quickly made sure a fire was started within the mammoth's body before I began tanning my new stock of hide.

"It's a good thing the pod codex had basic survival tips aside from 'oh, just blow stuff up if it peeves you off'. Really makes things easier," I tilted my head over to the worn out spacecraft. The life support systems had run out not long after I had landed, and in order to recharge its basic functions I'd have to pull it out into the sunlight for...but still. "I wonder what else is left in there?"

I finished up my hide tanning and stalked towards my pod with a curious expression. I opened the hatch and popped my head inside, frowning as I looked for anything of note. A flash of red caught my eye, and I blinked when I saw a familiar piece of tech.

"Is that...a Scouter?" I gently grabbed the small machine and stared at it as it rested in the palm of my hand. "It is a scouter! Cool beans, now I get to see what my power level is!"

I put it on and pressed the 'on' button with a smirk. A beep sounded out, and then a wall of text began running across my vision. I sagged a bit at the disclaimer before pressing the appropriate button to accept any and all 'consequences' for using it.

"Alright, since I'm like...6, I'll probably have a pretty low power level," I furrowed my brows at all the low power levels closeby. "At best, It'll be like 10...maybe 15? Something low enough that I'd 'deserve' to be shot towards another planet-"

*BEEP**BEEP*

"...Or it could fluctuate a lot between 2,000 and 20,000!" I wheezed out, then quickly took off the Scouter. I stared at the machine for a full minute before putting it away. "Alright, I'm gonna go with 'system bug' and ignore that. I mean, probably hasn't been updated in a while," I ran a hand through my spiky hair in shock. "Either that or I had like...a power level of 18,000 while I was a sperm...yeah, that could be it…"

I stalked back to my partly cooked mammoth with a sigh. "And here I was expecting a fun planet, instead I get an icy wasteland," I sat before the fire for several minutes before I began tearing pieces of roasted meat away from the carcass. I sighed in annoyance, as without preservatives the mammoth wouldn't last more than a week. "Thank Dende for my new Saiyan appetite."

I leaned back as I let the wonderful umami flavor settle on my palette. "I wonder if there's any intelligent life on this world…"

Two years later

Lucas didn't know what to think about the little faunus kid that had just waltzed into his office. He had found the kid with a monkey tail being decked out like an ancient snow barbarian humorous at first, but after realizing that it wasn't some strange joke one of his friends were playing on him, he was far more cautious...and then…

"Hey, you're one of those criminal guys, right?"

Lucas blinked in shock at this. "Uh, y-yeah, I suppose I am one of those 'criminal guys'."

"Cool! I've been looking everywhere for you types. I even checked alleyways like those people said."

The criminal soon realized that this kid was terminally stupid. His caution looped back around to bemusement, as well as curiosity.

"So, what does a filthy animal like you want from me anyway?" the mobster sneered.

"I bathe actually...I do wear a bit too much fur though," the monkey faunus shook his head and turned back to the criminal. "I was kinda looking for some help. You see, I got enough money together by selling my extra meat and furs, and I figured you'd be the best person to come to."

"You're not exactly being clear, you know that?"

"Okay, I'll level with you...I'm kinda...not exactly here...with permission?" the faunus twiddled his fingers nervously.

At this, Lucas's eyes widened. "Oh! You're an illegal immigrant?"

"Yeah, that! So I need like...fake stuff to not be that."

"Well now, you're committing quite the serious crime there, young man," the blue-haired mobster stood from his chair and walked around to stare the boy down. "Why, I just might have to report you to the proper authorities for that."

The boy stared up at him with an owlish expression. "Oh, yeah...I guess you'd have to do that, huh?"

Lucas's face fell at the boy's dumb expression, and he sighed. "You are just too oblivious about this, huh kid? Alright, how much money do you have?"

"Uh...I'm not sure," the little faunus pulled out a few thick wads of cash and large rolls of change. "How much would this get me?"

"...I'd say everything you'd need, and thensome," Lucas whistled at the boy's fat stacks. "I could make up an entire tragic backstory for you with all this...you sure you got this from selling...what, deer fur and stuff?"

"Uh, some of it was caribou and the like...I had a few parts from mammoths though," the monkey-boy said nervously.

"Mammoth?!" the gangster wheezed out. "Haha...you sure you didn't steal this?"

"Positive!"

Lucas sputtered slightly before letting out a sigh. "Alright then, let's...let's just get you sorted out…"

several hours later

"About time!" I said happily as I pocketed my new, totally real passport, ID, birth certificate, and other significant papers. Sure, it cost about two-thirds of what I had on me, but it was all worth it in the end. "Now then, gotta go and find those guys with that Dusty thingie...aha! There!"

I quickly trotted towards the office with the weird snowflake insignia on it, and pushed the doors open with a cheerful smile. While the entire interior was more frigid than the Atlesian tundra I had called home for the past two years, I continued to be as upbeat as possible. I walked over to the front desk and tapped a few times to get the receptionist's attention.

"Hey, this is the place where I'm supposed to apply for those mining jobs, right?"

The woman blinked in shock before moving to shuffle some paperwork. "Uh, yes it is...h-how old are you?"

"Uh...five…"

"...Don't you fucking lie to me," she deadpanned.

"Plus three," I finished.

The receptionist adjusted her glasses as a contemplative look spread across her face. "Okay, so five plus three...ugh," she shook her head tiredly. "How do you count to eight again-wait a second!"

"Is there a problem here?" a suited man called out as he walked into the lobby from the back.

"Uh, no sir...this young boy is asking about the mining jobs," the bespectacled woman said nervously.

"Well, I'm afraid we can't exactly hire children," the man said sternly. "That would reflect terribly on the Schnee Dust Compa-"

"Oh, sorry, is it okay if I keep my tail out?" I asked innocently.

"...Your what?"

"Yeah, my tail," I unfurled the furry appendage from around my waist, breathing a sigh of relief as it curled around in the air. "See, I keep it around my waist like that so it doesn't get stepped on or pulled-people really like doing those things for some reason-and sometimes it gets cold."

"...Y-You're a Faunus?" the man asked dumbly.

"Uh...sure, let's go with that."

"Why don't I get you an application for you to fill out then," the man said as a strange grin stretched across his face. "I'm certain I could set up an interview in a short amount of time."

"Wow, really? That's great, mister!" I said elatedly.

"Just make sure to fill it out to...the...best of your abilities," he said with an extremely strained grin. "Once you're finished, I'll make sure your capabilities are thoroughly evaluated."

"Wow, neato!" I held the application for a few seconds, then sagged a bit. "Uh...I don't exactly have a-"

"Ah, here you are sir," the receptionist said kindly as she held a pen out towards me.

"Oh, thanks!"

"Uh...don't mention it…" the woman flinched as the man left, and turned to me with a grim look. "I strongly think you should reconsider, young man."

"Reconsider what? I get paid to dig up rocks, don't I?"

"...Well, you'll certainly be digging up 'rocks' at least-"

"Then it's settled! I'll just fill this out and be right back," I walked off and sat at a nearby table to begin filling the application. "Alright then...put name here? Ah...what do I have for that?"

I pulled out my new, and totally real ID card, with a smirk. I finished writing down all the necessary bits of information, as well as making sure to touch up some of the finer details as best I could, before standing up. As I walked towards the reception desk, I heard a voice calling out to me.

"Oi! Kid!"

I blinked slightly when I saw a nervous looking guy in ragged clothes motioning me over. As I got closer, I noticed a set of fluffy bear ears poking out of the top of his dark-brown hair. The bear-man shuffled in place nervously before giving me an incredulous look.

"What are you doing here kid?"

"...I was gonna apply for a job to dig up rocks?" I said unsurely.

"Buddy, you do not wanna work for these people. Please, take it from me, just-"

"Excuse me, what's going on here?"

The bear-man froze in shock, then turned just as the suited man from before walked into view.

"N-Nothing sir! Just...uh…" he quickly laid a hand on my shoulder and gave his boss a cheerful grin. "Just speaking to who I can only assume would probably be an 'interesting' addition to our wonderful 'team' down at the mines."

"Yes, well I'll have to double-check on that to make sure," the suited man folded his arms and gave the bear-man a stern look. "Now then, don't you have a job to do?"

"Right! Of course sir! I'll be off then!"

I blinked a few times as he darted off, and gave the suited man a confused look. "What's his problem?"

"Most likely nothing, that is if he wants to keep getting paid," the human's sneer dissipated when he realized I was still there, and he gave me another fake smile. "Ah, my apologies young man, let's get you sorted out...Young Mr…?"

"Arthur...Arthur Basil."

And there we go, first chapter. Chapter 2 will probably be out within the next few months, if I don't get infected or something

As always, lease leave any thoughts, questions, and constructive criticism in your reviews.