Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Bros. Television. This work is intended strictly for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

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It was a Saturday evening, Rory was home from Yale for the weekend to do laundry and spend time with her mom. They'd decided to do one of their typical movie-marathons. What wasn't typical was that Luke had joined them having the rare Saturday night off since Caesar had asked to switch with him from the breakfast shift to the closing shift.

Lorelai reached for her bag of Red Vines, snagged one and began chewing on it while dropping the bag in her lap. When she heard Luke snort beside her, she picked it up again, "Want one?"

"When have you ever seen me eat anything loaded with that much sugar?"

"You eat ice cream," Rory reminded him.

"Okay, but ice cream at least has milk in it, if it's made right, that is. Who knows what's in those things?" He gave Lorelai's favorite candy a dismissive wave. "I bet if you looked at the ingredients on the package, you wouldn't be able to pronounce most of them."

"Where's the challenge in that?" Lorelai questioned. "Half the fun of any junk food is knowing there's no real nutritional value in it."

"You're telling me," he agreed. He went on with a gesture to the junk-food laden coffee table, "That's not to mention all this other crap. Pizza, Pop-Tarts, M&Ms, cookie dough…"

"Cookie dough has eggs in it," Rory chimed in.

"…Jelly beans, chocolate kisses…"

Lorelai huffed at him in a jesting manner. "Did you come here to critique the food or watch movies? You know, we selected Star Trek as our movie marathon of choice specifically because we knew you were going to be here and we're only just now halfway through number four. We could always switch to something else."

"Well, on that note, since you knew I was going to be here, you could have asked me to cook something, and then you could have some real food."

"Why would you cook?"

"Gee, I dunno, maybe 'cause I do it for a living?" he suggested sarcastically.

"I think she means on a movie night," Rory supplied, "Especially when it's your night off. I mean, if you don't have to work, why would you want to come here and do the exact same thing you do at work?"

"'Xactly," Lorelai mumbled with a mouthful of candy.

"Beside, this is our normal movie night food." Rory reached for a box of Junior Mints and poured some in her mouth while Luke just shook his head.

"I'm just saying, if you two keep eating the way you do, Kirk and the gang could Marty McFly you back to the future with them to save the universe."

The Lorelais looked at each other and the elder queried, "Did he just call us whales?"

"I think he did," the younger replied.

What could've sparked an argument ended right there when the VCR let out a slight squeal as the picture was temporarily obscured by black-and-white fuzz. All three let out a groan and then Luke got up to fiddle with the tracking.

Once he'd gotten the picture as clear as it could get, he sat back down with a sigh. "You know, you wouldn't have those fuzzy lines through the picture if you'd just throw out these old tapes and replace them with DVDs."

Lorelai let out a loud, dramatic gasp with a hand to her chest. "And lose my classic commercials?"

"Okay, well how about you at least invest in a VCR that wasn't made during Fred Flintstone's era, but either way, I still think DVDs are the way to go."

"Noooo! I like my Fred Flintstone VCR. My very own Pebbles teethed on that machine."

Luke leaned over his girlfriend to address her daughter, "Rory, you can talk some sense into your mom, can't you?"

"You're on your own on that one," she replied, "I agree with Mom on the classics. Sometimes the movies are so bad, the old commercials are the best part."

"There's nothing bad about Star Tr-," he started to protest, but was cut off.

"Ooh, like this one!" Lorelai gushed with a nudge aimed at Rory.

"Yes! Big Red!" Rory cheered. "Hey, is this the one where the sailor's ship takes off without him at the end because they kissed for so long?"

"No, this is the one where the tuba player's marching band takes off without him at the end because they kissed for so long. Have I taught you nothing?"

While mother and daughter chimed in with the commercial singing what remained of the jingle, Luke rolled his eyes and muttered, "Why do I even try?" He then spoke aloud to them, "Okay, so here's something that's always bugged me about that Big Red jingle. Why do they have to add that stupid 'while you chew it' line? I mean, come on, anybody with a brain's going to know if you wanna' still keep that cinnamon breath, you need to keep chewing it, right? It's not gonna' last for hours and hours after you spit it out. That's just common sense."

"Which is sadly, not all that common, hence that line being in the song," Lorelai explained.

"Rory, you're the brainy one; help me out here. You've got to agree that line is kinda pointless.

Rory shrugged. "Don't look at me. I stopped questioning these things when my new hairdryer came with a 'do not use in shower' warning."

"Yeah, how dumb was that person?" Lorelai nodded.

"What person?" Rory looked at her mother in confusion as she reached for a Red Vine.

"Duh, the person who sued the hairdryer manufacturer because they themselves were dumb enough to use a hairdryer in the shower."

Using her licorice as a pointer, she argued, "But how do you know there is such a person?"

"Are you sure you're learning stuff at that fancy school of yours?" Her mother questioned.

"What does one thing have to do with the other?"

"Okay, even I get that one," Luke interjected between the two. "If the company put something so obviously asinine on a hairdryer, it must be a liability issue, which stands to reason that some moron must have done it before and sued them over it. Or more accurately someone's family sued because chances are the moron would be dead."

"See, Rory?" Lorelai crowed. "I think they need to hire some new teachers at Yale. The ones you've got suck."

Rory made a face at her mother and fired back, "Spoken by the woman who taught me the oh-so-important lesson of how to compare and contrast all three versions of "A Star is Born."

"Hey, that's an important life skill. How else would you know whether Janet, Judy or Barbra did it better?"

"Hey, " Luke interrupted. "Now that your 'classic commercials' are over, maybe we could get back to watching the movie, you know since we're actually watching something I like for a change?"

"Okay, but now I wanna really watch A Star is Born."

Rory glanced at the video cabinet loaded with VHS tapes. "Which one?"

"Is that even a legitimate question?"

"I'll dig out the tapes."

Luke sighed, "I give up."