Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

CHAPTER 1:

THE DECISION

Moonlight sank the room in hues of silver declaring the nearing of midnight. Sakura jerked her shaking fingers to jolt some humid pink locks away from her emerald green eyes. Eyes that lost their gleam and were shadowed underneath by a faint purple. Eyes that had been once so pertinent and so vivid. But since he had left, those shining diamonds seemed to be loosing light, slowly getting darker and darker till one couldn't call them diamonds anymore.

The slightly swollen lids opened to let her take one last glance at the picture of team 7 on her bedside table. Her heart was beginning to adjust its beating to the normal pace after a devastating panic attack which was the result of one last reluctance before setting her plan into motion. She shifted in her bed seeking a comfortable position and eventually plastered her wet cheek on the pillow; her consciousness slowly fading which dragged her out of this world in a matter of minutes.

She glanced at her room one more time, making sure she didn't forget anything. Every piece of furniture and every piece of fabric in the small room sounded like something she would miss later on, let alone her parents, her sensei, her friends and mostly her humanity.

Sakura strode out of her room closing behind her the wooden door. The sound it made when it was once shut stirred within her another hesitation. She bit her lip nearly making it bleed. The sharp and sudden pain shook the reluctance away, not really erasing each single trace of it but allowing her to step forward. Approaching the main door, the kunoichi heard the drowsy voice of her mother telling her to wait. Sakura turned, only to see the blond woman leaping in her direction. Cradling her daughter in a tight embrace, Mebuki's shoulders began to shake with sobs igniting in her kid's heart a painful twitch. Sakura gritted her teeth when she felt tears starting to sting her own eyes.

but she didn't let them win... she couldn't let them win...

She gulped, fighting the lump of anxiety stuck in her throat then whispered:"I'll be fine, I'll make sure to visit when I can.."

but she wouldn't... That was the entire point...

After drawing on her face an obviously faked strength and determination sakura clutched her parent's shoulders then gently pushed her away. The pink-haired girl turned, the sun rays sneaking from the main door plunging her face in a tepid bright light and stirring a slight burning in the eyes that were ruined by the previous night's breakdown.

And without adding a single word she walked.

The Kunoichi could hear her father choking on silent tears in his own room.

He couldn't goodbye her. He wasn't strong enough to let go of his unique daughter.

But she walked, and walked, each step accompanied by a weep from her desperate mother. The decision was already painful to take. However, the pain that her parents unwillingly poured into her heart was way beyond unbearable.

She had to do it... In order to survive her depression... She had to be selfish...

She left. A wolf chewing on her gut and a tremendous weight lying on her chest, pressing her ribs against her lungs, she left.

'Now I just have to deal with Tsunade-sensei.. And I'll be free..' She kept whispering to herself as she tramped towards the Hokage's tower. Sakura, despite her young age, was a renowned medic, and thus was respected by everyone in Konoha. One more reason which made departure difficult. The villagers were in a noticeable bustle, even to the girl whose mind was victim of its own torment. Not once or twice, was she obliged to fake a smile in order to greet back those who saluted her. She had to admit; it was tiresome, a rest was needed, a long-time rest that would allow her reshuffle the puzzle forming her life. *But that "long-time" can last forever...' a thought whispered from the dark corners of her mind, creeping her, frightening her and even making her mouth taste a bit bitter. She didn't have the time to dwell on that... She needed her plans to be initiated right away...

x x x

The kunoichi felt the chills of the shadow of a building submerging her. She jerked her head upwards only to realise that she was already in front of the sought place. Lowering her gaze to focus on the entrance, Sakura came to notice that Kakashi was leaning against the wall located next to the main door. His visible eye hidden behind one of Jiraiya's naughty books. Slowly, he slid the book to rest on his nose, only to cast his apprentice a cold, sorrowful glare. Rapidly, she sent her gaze away, ignoring every ounce of his existence. Sakura kept trotting towards the door until she became in Kakashi's range of action. Therefore he grabbed her by the wrist sending shivers down her spine and feeding the wolf of stress that devoured her intestine. Her pink locks hang on her face, hiding the angst and dread that lived in her eyes. She resisted, tempting to draw her stolen limb just to be faced by rejection: Her Sensei tugged even harder, totally preventing her from further resistance. The kunoichi was expecting a agonising lecture that would most likely fuel deep regrets and an unendurable guilt but all she got was an affectionate replica in which he affirmed with an affectionate tone: "Be careful. That experience wasn't a very pleasing one to me. So if you encountered any issue just remember that I'll be there to help."

Sakura nodded, feeling the urge to run and hug him, but if she had to proceed in any of this, she had to stash every bit of emotion she had. Thus, she jerked her hand away from his grip and continued her steady walk towards Tsunade's office. Watching her leave in such a cold attitude, Kakashi couldn't help feeling pathetic and blaiming himself for the disbandment of team 7 which threw him in the dilemma of 'I could've prevented this' Again...

Sakura plastered the back of her index against the wooden door. One knock, and she wouldn't be able to turn back which left her to muse on her decision one more time. Regret was already eating her core, whispering to her the most dispiriting scenarios, leaving her insides convulsing, almost dropping her to her knees as her throat went dry and her head felt a bit lighter.

Deep breaths... Profoundly, she inhaled. Slowly, she exhaled. Sakura was a medic and accordingly, was aware of this tactic's benefits to one's body.Finally in full grasp of her mental state, tossing away every irritating thought, she knocked.

She pressed on the handle, that sounded somehow more withstanding than usual to the pressure she exerted. Behind the door that creaked open, Tsunade was sitting in her chair, frowning to whoever was about to enter. With certain, unwavering steps, Sakura strode to the large desk in front of her. With one last attempt to make her trainee falter, the gathered every scrap of solemnity in her being and addressed Sakura: "Are you sure about this... The consequences of your choice might turn your life upside-d-..."

"I am hell of sure" The kunoichi scowled, her eyes fixing the Hokage's as they sparkled like a campfire.

"I want to join the ANBU!" She added -without a single shake or sign of reluctance in her voice- to emphasise her certainty.