A/N: Borrowing Kurtan Mucklowe from "TV Show "This Country"

"Yeah it's cool, I told you the BBC will film it" Kurtan proudly nods.

"Cool, man, nice"

"Do you want us holding hands or..."

"No you don't have to-" The cameramam says.

"I mean I'll hold Eric's hand whenever. Like when I'm back at home, like I give no fucks. Do I Eric?" Kurtan nods.

"Nah no you don't" Eric said stroking his shoulder.

"Yeah I like hold Eric's hand in front of the elderly and stuff. Like you've seen there's a ton of elderly up at the cotswolds. More elderly than people. Young people. And I just hold his hand, giving zero fucks don't I?" Kurtan raises his eyebrows at the camera.

They're both in Kurtan's sitting room. He's sharing a place with Vic and Lem. They're both guy, guys, but they have no problem with putting Kurtan's nan on the wall, or helping him bake cakes for the builders cake sale. Eric didn't know what to wear, so he kept it masculine. Blue shirt and jacket with no make up on. He gets out his phone and starts with the questions.

"So babe, question one, where did we me meet?" Eric smiles.

"TKMaxx!" Kurtan shouts excitedly.

"Yep"

"Yeah!" Kurtan nods, patting the sofa. The vicar right. Eric's met him and even with the god and christianity stuff. Like we're all god's children. So the vicar just totally accepted you didn't he?"

"Yes it was-"

"So Vicar took me to swindon. After Kerry's bollocks with her leg. We're at the Tkmaxx. And I'm dressed in jeans. People are looking at me all over the place. Weren't they Eric? This one guy, really had his eyes all over my arse didn't he?" Later found out..."

"He was loss prevention" Eric nods.

"Security yeah. But most guards don't look at the arse. To this day, if I wasn't with Eric, he would have sexted me through facebook. I'm sure about that with every fibre of my being. So I'm getting looks and This shiny black guy walks up to me. And I don't think he's gonna be violent. Cause Eric has the best smile in London, smile, look" Kurtan said pointing to the camera, then Eric.

"You're so sweet!" Eric sticks his tongue out.

"I thought the T-shirt made me look like a tramp. But Eric right, said that I looked taught. Taught. Fancy language. Meaning ripped. He had make up on. Like lip gloss and eyeliner and that. I thought it was super weird..."

"But you don't mind it now..."

"Nah no. I'm used to the colourful shit now, but you don't see many guys like Eric, and obviously Eric doesn't see guys as fit as me in Moordale, cause he gave me his number and I like, let him sweat for like Two days didn't I?"

"Yes you little tease!"

"And I just come back from the keepers, looked at the stricly come dancing on the TV, that my nan was watching, and I was like...gotta call Eric!" Kurtan said tapping his phone pocket.

"He was as pissed as a skunk!"

"Drunk as a skunk Eric, it's got to rhyme mate"

"Yeah, he loves rhyming. Written me a ton of poety haven't you babe? It's so romantic!" Eric said linking their arms together.

"Yeah, I've got some under my pillow, I can go get it..."

"It's...it's okay Kurt, you can recite some stuff tonight with Otis later. What's question number Two? Eric asks.