AN: For the lovely and wonderful Queen Risa. Turns out I'm a lousy barista when it comes to angst lattes, however, I did my best to inject some pining and angst into this little fic. I hope you enjoy it.

XXX

"Secret Admirer" by Starling Sinclair

Part 1: Usagi

April 7, 2020

XXX

Day 1: The Note

Usagi was floating on the high of a little paper note and promises written in ink. Practically gliding up to the bar of Crown Fruit Parlor, she gazed absently, theatrically into space with a sigh. Motoki was helping another patron further down the bar, so she rested her chin on her hands, not-so-subtly showing off the small folded paper between her fingers. She pretended to not notice Mamoru-baka watching her over the top of his textbook on geology.

She sighed, again, loudly, wiggling her fingers to bring attention to the paper. When it was clear Motoki wasn't going to respond to her theatrics, Mamoru rolled his eyes and set his textbook down.

"What do you want to so desperately show Motoki, Odango?" he asked.

"Not even you can bring me down today," she said in sing-song and looked back towards Motoki.

"Okay," he said with a shrug, focusing on his textbook in his lap. "Don't tell me if you don't want to."

She turned toward him, about to burst with her news. "I have a secret admirer."

His eyes shot up. How interesting. Clearly, he was just as intrigued as she was.

"Who?"

"If I knew, it wouldn't be a secret," she answered before holding out the piece of paper in her hand.

Mamoru took it from her, setting his textbook on the counter. The paper was made from high-end stationery and folded four times. The creases were wearing from all the times she and unfolded and re-folded it. He opened the note, read it, then scowled.

"Usagi, I have loved you from afar for too long. You are my sun. My moon. I want, no need you to know. For the next seven days, I will show you that my love for you is true," he read. "This is ridiculous."

"What? Can you not believe that someone could be in love with me?" she said.

"I never said that," he said, setting the paper onto the counter. "But it's so cliche. Who do you think they are?"

"I don't know!" she exclaimed. "That's the best part!"

"Then it's not real love," he said.

Usagi gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. "You don't know that!"

"Oh come on. Unrequited love is not romantic," he explained. "It's actually a little creepy."

"Oh please, it's so romantic," she countered. "The mystery. The desire. To spend your time pining over someone, watching them from afar…"

"You have to know someone to love them," he stated. "Watching from afar is just stalking."

"Usagi has a stalker?" Motoki interrupted, appearing between the two, resting on his forearms against the counter.

Simultaneously, Usagi said "No" and Mamoru said "Yes."

Rolling his eyes, Mamoru pushed the note to Motoki for inspection.

"I don't have a stalker," she clarified. "I have a secret admirer."

"Aww, that so cute, Usa-chan," Motoki said, reading over the letter.

With Motoki distracted, Usagi turned back to Mamoru and scowled. "What makes you the expert on unrequited love anyway, Mamoru-baka?"

"Well, he is quite familiar with it, eh Mamoru-kun?" Motoki teased with a chuckle.

Usagi's eyes grew wide as saucers and gasped, "BUT YOU SAID IT WAS CREEPY." She smacked her palms on the counter for emphasis.

Mamoru turned his angry glare on Motoki, and she was thrilled to see someone else on the receiving end. "Yeah, because it is creepy," he said.

"BUT WHO IS SHE?" Usagi was on the edge of her seat. She paused then added, "Or he. He would make a lot more sense."

"It's a she," Motoki chimed in. Mamoru's cheeks flushed the lightest shade of pink as he tugged at his collar. Usagi gaped; the tables had turned!

"Who is she!" she asked again. "Have you sent her a love note?!"

"No. I have not sent her a love note. I will not send her a love note because she has made it clear that she's not interested. And I respect women's boundaries." His words were practiced as if he'd defended his stance before. Usagi thrilled a little at this secret. This was clearly something he and Motoki had discussed at length when she wasn't around.

"You have no romantic bones in your body, do you Mamoru-baka?"

"Look, I hope this guy turns out to not be a creep," Mamoru cautioned as he gathered his things then wiped his coffee ring on the counter with a napkin. "But if he is, don't say I didn't warn you."

With his things gathered, he nodded farewell to Motoki and headed for the exit.

"You're just jealous!" Usagi called out. Mamoru waved over his shoulder and left the building.

Day 2: Candy

Usagi, Makoto, and Motoki formed a triangle of connoisseurs around the large, sleek, black and red, heart-shaped candy box. There were still a dozen or so delicately made chocolate in the present that rested on the counter.

"So, what do you think?" Usagi asked, dragging out think.

"It's very good," Motoki answered as he took another small bite of chocolate. "Your first gift?"

Usagi grinned before nodded enthusiastically

Lost in her bliss, she didn't notice Mamoru creeping up until he reached over her shoulder and plucked a candy from the box.

"Hey!" she exclaimed indignantly as he popped it into his mouth.

"You were sharing it with everyone else," he mumbled, mouth full of chocolate.

Makoto reached over for her own piece of chocolate. "He's got a point." She delicately bit into the morsel.

"Fine. But you have to say, this is a good gift," Usagi demanded.

"It's true," Makoto added. "The best way to Usa's heart is through her stomach."

Motoki smiled. "Maybe it's not what you think Mamoru-kun."

"And Mr. Mystery has good taste. If I'm right, they came from the fancy chocolaterie in Shibuya," Makoto noted.

"Or, he made them," Usagi interjected. "Sitting in the kitchen. Boiling chocolate and thinking of me." She gazed off, imagining someone handsome, tall, dark, and thinking only of her.

"So, a classic food gift of your least favorite chocolate constitutes this creep knowing you?" Mamoru asked. Her daydream shattered.

"Hey! How did you know they were my least favorite?"

"Salted caramel? When given the choice you always pick strawberry over most chocolates. You're more sweet with a side of sweet than a sweet and salty girl," he said.

"Hmm, you're the salty one. Because I have someone who cares."

"Huh, he's got a point Usa," Makoto retorted. "You much prefer Meiji any day."

She screwed her face into a scowl. So what if she really enjoys Meiji? And she never really liked salted caramel. She wasn't going to turn down candy, no matter the flavor.

"It's the thought that counts, and he clearly thought about me and my love of all things sweet," Usagi defended. "Even if they are a bit salty."

Mamoru stole another candy. "Whatever you say Odango."

He turned on his heel and returned to his booth.

Day 3: Jewelry

Her next gift came in a small box wrapped in red paper. Only one thing came in small boxes like that.

"Good things come in small packages," Usagi repeated as she climbed the stairs to Crown Fruit Parlor.

"Or cheap things," Rei countered.

She hadn't opened it at school. Partially because she wanted to rub it in Mamoru's face that her admirer really did know her. So, she was scanning for him as soon as she walked in the door. He was sitting in his usual corner booth, studying some droll textbook.

As casually as she could, she picked the booth across from him. Then placed the box on the center of the table. She kept Mamoru in the corner of her eye, to see if he was paying attention to the show she was putting on. Sure enough, his eyes were on her, his pose a pretense of not watching the spectacle over his textbook and coffee.

She didn't notice Motoki walking over until he obscured her view. "Come on, Usa-chan! Aren't you going to open it? Inquiring minds want to know."

She blinked, returning her focus to the box, and deliberately ignoring Rei's questioning look. Slowly, she peeled back the paper and opened the box.

"Ooo!" she cooed in genuine delight. Inside were simple pearl earrings. Well, probably pearl. Pearl-like. She'd have to ask Naru if they were real.

Rei scowled. "Giving pearls to someone is bad luck."

Usagi gasped. "Not true! They are thoughtful and romantic."

"Or he just knew your birthstone," Rei retorted.

"Oh come now, they are lovely," Motoki reassured taking the box from the girl's hands to inspect them closer.

Mamoru rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh. At some point, he'd stop pretending to study and just given in to eavesdropping. This satisfied her too much.

"Okay, Mr. Romantic, what is wrong with these?" Usagi pressed.

"Besides that moonstone fits you better than the pearl," he said, pausing to take a sip of his coffee. "Those are clip earrings. Your ears are pierced."

Usagi's hand flew to her ear, touching the small gold studs she always wore.

"That's true," Rei said, her finger tapping her chin as she thought about it. "You and Mako are the only people I know with pierced ears."

"It's not like pierced ears are super uncommon," she grumbled. "It's an easy mistake."

"That just proves my point," he said. "If he loved you, he'd notice small things like that."

Usagi snatched the box off the counter and stormed out, intent on at least proving they were real. She left a bemused Rei, who looked between Usagi's retreating form and Mamoru.

Day 4: A Love Poems

On the fourth day, Usagi tumbled into Crown, swooning with Minako. They spilled into their usual booth, giggling and starry-eyed. Usagi held a little scroll to her chest, treasuring it like it was more precious than gold.

All the doubts from the past three days incepted by Mamoru were washed away in a river of words.

"Read it to me again," Minako said. "It's just...wow."

Usagi giggled and started reading from the paper she was holding:

"She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

And on that cheek, and over that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow.."

A voice started over hers, repeated the lines as she said them until her voice faded out:

"But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent," Mamoru finished.

He sat in the next booth over, feet propped up on the bench seat and more books and papers spread out before him. Usagi and Minako blinked at his interruption.

"Are you like psychotic or something?" Minako asked.

Mamoru blanched. "What? How does knowing poetry make me psychotic?"

"Like, you can read minds!" she clarified.

Mamoru hung his head. "You mean psychic."

"Psychic, psychotic, whatever," she said with a shrug, tossing her hair over her shoulder with feigned nonchalance.

Usagi, however, was crestfallen. She looked at the poem in her hand, and at Mamoru before quietly asking, "He didn't write it, did he?"

Mamoru softened, his shoulders relaxing just a hair. He shook his head. "It's a very famous Byron poem."

"It's still really pretty," Minako continued. "And it's all about inner beauty."

Mamoru opened his mouth as if adding to the discussion, then thought better of it. Instead, he said, "It's actually a rather fitting poem."

"Is it the one you would have picked?" Usagi retorted.

He thought for a moment before reciting, "Those lips that Love's own hand did make breathed forth the sound that said 'I hate…'"

Usagi threw the scroll at Mamoru's head. It hit him in the temple.

"What was that for?" he exclaimed, rubbing his injury.

"Because you don't have a romantic bone in your body!"

"How is Shakespeare not romantic?"

She huffed with frustration.

"Oooo! Do Romeo and Juliet!" Minako cried, "That one's the most romantic."

This time, both Usagi and Mamoru stared at her like she sprouted a second head.

"What? Young Leo was so hot…" she mumbled, slouching in the booth.

"Whatever, I'm going to get a shake," Usagi grumbled and crawled over Minako and out the booth. Mamoru rolled his eyes as she passed and went back to his work.

Day 5: The Playlist

On day five, Usagi enlisted Ami's help to interpret her gift. The girl genius was sure to find some evidence that refuted Mamoru's inevitable daily claim.

"I'm really not sure I'm the best pick for this," Ami said, one headphone in her ear as she held Usagi's phone.

They were seated several booths away from Mamoru, though Usagi kept tabs on him out the corner of her eye.

"No, you're the perfect person because you're smarter than me," Usagi insisted. And hopefully can tell me that I'm wrong.

Her new gift was a playlist, full of trendy songs. Thanks to Mamoru, she was now trying to interpret them, and mostly, none of them were that romantic. They just seemed heartfelt because of a catchy chorus. Then those that were romantic were just slightly off - songs of green eyes and short black hair. There had to be something she was missing. Some element that really said Usagi. Something an outside perspective and a thoughtful mind could provide.

Ami smiled awkwardly and focused on the music. Leaving her at the booth, Usagi walked slowly to the counter to order two milkshakes. She passed Mamoru on her way, and he looked at her with a quirked eyebrow. She grumbled to herself and ignored him.

Why did he have to be so insufferable? Why did he have to be so right? At the counter, she took a moment to look around, trying to see if anyone was watching her more closely. Who was this mystery admirer? Was he watching her reaction right now? Or did he not even frequent Crown? Who did she want him to be?

Her eyes drifted to Mamoru, and she scowled. Why did he have to ruin it for her? Especially when he was just as guilty. She wasn't the one harboring secret feelings for someone.

"So, what did you get today?" Motoki asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"A playlist," she answered, still glaring at Mamoru.

"Of your favorite songs?"

She shrugged. "Not really? They're love songs. Sort of. Ugh, don't tell Mamoru, he'd have a field day with this," she rambled. "Can you make me and Ami milkshakes?"

"Sure thing Usa-chan. I'll bring them to your booth when they're done."

She bit her lip, then left the bar. As she walked down the aisle toward her table, she dawdled beside Mamoru's booth. Filled with frustration, she plopped herself across from him.

"How do you know you love her?"

Mamoru looked at her skeptically, then set his book on the table. He shifted so he was sitting upright and giving her his full attention.

"Honestly, Motoki figured it out."

"Ugh, way to not answer the question, Mamoru," she said.

"I changed," he said. "That's how I knew."

"But you said she wasn't interested," Usagi continued, confused. "Why would you change for someone who doesn't love you back."

He laughed. "No, she's not interested, but love changes you. And reciprocity isn't something I'm entitled to."

"So, just because you love her, doesn't mean she has to love you back?"

He smirked. "Exactly, Odango. Now, I need to get back to my studies, and you are quite distracting," he concluded. He shooed her away with his hand while burying his nose back into his book.

She peeled herself from the orange booth, then turned back to him. "You didn't ask what he did today."

"I'm assuming it's a playlist of romantic songs," Mamoru said. "Otherwise, why leave Ami with headphones and your phone."

Usagi scowled. "You're such a know-it-all."

"Later Odango."

Usagi slid back into her booth, where her slightly melted milkshake waited. Ami smiled at her return before handing the phone and earbuds over.

"I mean, they're all very nice songs," she said, her smile not meeting her eyes.

"But they're not songs you'd pick for me," Usagi said.

Ami shook her head no, and Usagi drowned herself in her milkshake.

Day 6: The Bunny

Usagi tossed the comically large rabbit into his booth. It was white with a disproportionally large head and beady black eyes. Its floppy ears and rosy cheeks made it the epitome of the word kawaii. The plush was easily half her size. Then to top it off, the beast held a carrot.

She sat beside it, silently fuming and gesturing to the ridiculous present.

"Well, that seems a little on the nose," Mamoru said, choking back a chuckle. "I would have picked pink over white."

"What the hell am I supposed to do with it?"

"Hold it tight to you as you would him?"

"God, you're as bad as the note," she groaned. "I don't think there's room for both of us in my bed." Her head hit the table in exasperation.

"I am not going to comment on the bed, but you did leave that one wide open," he teased.

She ignored him and continued on with her whining. "He wants to meet in the park."

"How do you feel about that?"

Usagi looked up at him. His normally icy stare was a little less icy, and, in fact, she could even read some concern there. Maybe he wasn't as cold-hearted as she thought; he just didn't know how to drop the poker face.

"I…" How did she feel? Shouldn't she be excited? "I don't know," she answered honestly.

"That's valid," he said.

"How should I feel? Was all this supposed to make me fall in love with him?"

"You are supposed to feel how you feel," he said with a shrug. "I'm not really the best with feelings, Odango."

"But you're the one with all these smart-alec comments on love!"

Mamoru looked away, opened and closed his mouth, then looked back and sighed. He reached his hand out and touched hers. It was a ghostly touch really, his fingers just barely resting over hers. Yet, she stared at his hand as if it were burning her. As if it were raising her pulse. As if she turned her palm over, he'd curl his fingers over hers. As if she wanted that.

"Look," Mamoru said. "Trust your heart. Yours is especially good at these things."

"My heart?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, I don't blame the guy. You wear your heart on your sleeve. It's hard not to fall in love with you."

Was he blushing? His hand vanished from hers, and he pulled at the collar of his shirt.

"Anyway, Odango, as important as matters of the heart are, I still need to study. So if you don't mind…" he said, waving to the bunny.

Usagi watched him a little longer than she should have. His eyes darted around as if he were hiding something. He probably did just need to get back to his work. With reluctance, she pulled herself from the booth.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he called to her as she walked towards the exit.

"Nope. I figured your bed could use some company. You could just pretend it's me!" she called out to him, across the cafe. Her heart felt much better as she walked out the door, leaving behind a tomato-red Mamoru.

Day 7: The Confession

As she searched for the perfect outfit, Usagi thought she would have been more excited to reach the confession day. Yet, she just didn't have that first date nervousness or even the excitement for trying to look perfect for someone she wanted to impress. She eventually picked one of her favorite outfits though, a black striped top and her pink skirt jumper. It was cute, even Mamoru had said so last time she wore it.

She looked at the little pearl earrings sitting on her vanity. They would go well with her outfit.

Your ears are pierced.

That didn't mean she couldn't wear them, right? She touched the white orbs gently as more of Mamoru's words echoed in her head.

If he loved you, he'd notice small things like that.

Small things, like the specific plan he outlined. He would be waiting for her when the clock hands pointed towards the sun (or noon as Ami had deduced) by the fountain in her favorite park. She would know him because her heart would guide her, and he would be holding a flower. (And probably the only person waiting by the fountain.)

Trust your heart.

In her daydreams, the moment played out like a scene from a movie. A well-dressed boy, tall, with dark hair and haunting eyes, would be waiting for her. His eyes would be searching for her in the distance as she came up behind him. She'd tap his shoulder, and he would turn around, smiling breaking through his scowl as he saw her.

...That was oddly specific. Shaking her head, she gathered her things and left the house.

She didn't have to be late meeting him. She was actually put together with plenty of time, but she walked slowly to the park. If he was really in love with her, he would know she was going to be late. She was late for everything! Besides, it gave her time to think.

She thought about the poem as she walked, hoping it would give her heart that same fluttering feeling she'd had just a few days ago. Pulling out her phone, she started typing in some of the lines, hoping that seeing the poem would put her in the mood for this romantic reveal.

Though, as she pulled up Google, she found herself typing "I hate Shakespeare poem" instead. What was that poem Mamoru had started? The first two results were blogs by people who hated Shakespeare, but then she saw it, Shakespeare's Sonnet 145. She stepped to the side of the road to read it.

Shakespeare was hard, and there were definitely lines that didn't make sense, but something nagged at her. 'I hate' from hate away she threw/ And saved my life saying - 'not you.'

Her heartbeat quickened, and she looked away from her phone. She should get a move on; she had an appointment to keep.

I'm not really the best with feelings, Odango.

The park was bustling. Children played on the equipment. Parents took up benches playing on cell phones, while others hovered a little too close to their toddlers. Couples strolled by, eating ice cream and exchanging shy glances.

She saw him standing there, looking at his watch and tapping his foot. She was only seven minutes late.

She almost didn't recognize him from behind. His name was Kaito, and he had a class with her. He was cute, she guessed. Sandy hair, medium build. Brown eyes. Of course, her secret admirer had a class with her. He left all his gifts there for her.

But he had never really spoken to her. He didn't really even hang out with her friend group.

You have to know someone to love them.

There were butterflies in her stomach now, but not the good kind.

"Kaito," she greeted as she walked into his peripheral. She smiled warmly at him.

His eyes lit up. "Usagi! You came! I was worried you weren't going to show…" He looked down, bashfully. As if he'd forgotten, he suddenly shoved a pink carnation at her.

"This is for you!"

She took the flower and brought it to her nose. "It's lovely," she said. What she didn't say was that she preferred roses.

"So.." He reached his hand out towards Usagi's. She pulled away.

"Kaito," she said. "I am very flattered but…"

His brow furrowed.

"I'm not interested."

"But, you don't even know me," he retorted.

"I could say the same thing," she said.

"But, I did all these grand gestures! Isn't that what you girls like?"

She frowned. "You girls?"

"Yeah. Gestures, chocolate, poetry, music," he continued. "I do these things and then you become my girlfriend."

Usagi took a step back. "First of all, those gestures are meaningless if you don't have any feeling behind them. And secondly, you can't just buy me with earrings that aren't my style and a poem you got off the internet."

When given the choice, you always pick strawberry.

"Plus, I like strawberry not salted caramel!"

"But…"

"You are not entitled to my feelings!" Usagi cried. Where had she heard that before?

You are supposed to feel how you feel.

Oh, she was feeling something. She was feeling it crash over her, the sudden realization just what she'd been keeping at bay. She'd been feeling something this entire walk, this entire week. And it wasn't for Kaito.

Love changes you.

Kaito stared at her, a bit in shock. She resolved herself. A week ago, she would have given anything for this scene straight out of a romantic comedy, but things had changed. She'd had to think about romance, and what it really meant. Faced questions about her own desires instead of what she'd been told that she wanted. Her world had shifted, and it was a little less sunshine and roses. Plus, she realized that she had more than one secret admirer.

She handed the carnation back to him; he took it, dazed.

"Kaito, thank you for the gifts, and the experiences. I'm very flattered, but, I don't think this is a good idea."

She turned on her heel, putting her back to him. He called out to her, begging her to come back, but she kept walking, another voice ringing in her ears.

You are quite distracting.

It's hard not to fall in love with you.

I changed.

Love was in the details, and she would show him that he should have just sent her a damn note.

XXX

There is a Part 2 to this story! Expect an update soon!