We open to the boys walking down the road, many miles away from South Park and only a day before the target date.
Cartman: How long have we been walking?
Kyle: We've been walking for two hours.
Cartman: Two hours? Not kewl you guys.
Kenny: Well at least it's helping you lose weight.
Cartman: I'm not fat Kinny!!
Stan was looking very annoyed.
Kenny: Trust me, you're fatter than William Shatner.
Cartman: Ey!! I am not fatter than William Shatner, Shatner is fatter than me!!
Kenny: Well at least he lived longer than you, you look like you'll drop dead any second.
Cartman: Fuck you, Kinny!!!
Kyle: Hey, knock it off you two!! Bickering isn't gonna help us.
Cartman: For the record, Khal. No car has passed us for 2 hours!
Stan: Shut the fuck up!! God!!
Kyle: Take it easy Stan.
Kyle approaches Stan, but Stan punched him.
Kyle: What was that for? It's them you should be pissed off to since they pissed off so many people.
Kenny: Come on Cartman, Stan wants to punch us.
Stan: No. That punch was reserved for Kyle in case things went shit sideways.
Cartman: Well, good thing I won't-
Stan instead, approached Cartman and kicked him in the balls.
Cartman: Ow!!!!
Stan: You should shut up for once.
Kyle: Stan, we're probably not too far away from Colorado.
Stan: Yes we are. Do you wanna know how many hours it takes to get from Miami to Denver on foot?
Cartman: Uh...6 hours?
Stan: Six hundred and fifty seven hours. And it takes around 30 hours by car to get there. Doing the math I found out we have 32 hours of walking to get back to Denver, to get back to my wife and my soon to be born daughter!!!
Kyle: We'll find a way Stan, we always do when all hope looks lost.
Stan: No Kyle, just no. This isn't some shitty cartoon where all things look lost and then something falls out of the sky to save us. No! Say hello to the real world.
Kyle: Stan-
Stan: No Kyle!! It's your fault you convinced me to go with you, Cartman; it's your fault you pissed off Billie Eillish.
Cartman: She wouldn't stop being a bitch towards me.
Stan: Kenny, it's your fault for having the mob go after us!
Kenny: Me?! It's Sandra's fault!
Stan: Well it's your fault for hiring Sandra isn't it?!
Kyle: Stan, come on. Don't be like this.
Stan: No. No. I'll be like this all I like Kyle, because of you my wife could be giving birth to my baby girl and she's gonna be upset that I'm not there when I promised to her that I'll be there!
Stan started walking away.
Kyle: Stan-
Stan: Don't fucking follow me Kyle!! Don't fucking follow me!!
Stan continued to walk further and further down the road.
Cartman: Jeez, he's got sand his vagina.
We then see glimpses of Stan walking down the road. We see him walk past fields and mountains, he even passed Ansel Elgort polishing his shotgun.
Stan continued walking until he stopped and sat down.
Stan was at first angry, but then he started crying.
Stan: Why? Why? Why? You stupid piece of shit Stan!!!
Stan continued sobbing.
Stan: Because of you listening to Kyle, you're gonna miss the birth of your baby daughter!!!!
Stan continued crying.
Stan: Fuck you!! Fuck you!! Fuck you!!
Cartman: Ay!! What did I do?
Stan looked up and saw that Cartman was in front of him, but looking like he survived a car crash.
Stan: I thought I told you to stay back.
Cartman: Well, I did. But I hitchhiked to wherever the guy was going. Then we got into a little fight over the radio and he crashed his car.
Stan: Is he ok?
Cartman: He's probably dead.
Stan: Well, you were a little too stupid over the radio.
Cartman: Ay!! Me and him had that fight 7 minutes into our journey and we crashed 10 minutes later.
Stan: When did this happen?
Cartman: Forty five minutes after you left.
Stan: If that's the case. How did you get here so fast?
Cartman: Well, somebody decided to back me up.
Cartman pointed to a chopper that was far off into the field.
Stan: A chopper? Who? How? And why is it parked all the way over there?
Cartman: Well, you can thank Khal for the Aston Martin. Because the dealers gave him a chopper just in case the car blew up. That and I'm too big on the theatrics.
Stan looked at Cartman in annoyance.
Stan: Then, that means I might not miss the birth of my daughter.
Stan smiled and started running for the chopper.
Cartman: Wait up, Stan. I can't catch up with you!!
Marsh residence.
We see Wendy sitting by the kitchen table trying to contact Stan.
Wendy: Come on Stan.
Stan (Voice): Hi, this is Stan I could be busy coaching or on a crazy adventure with my friends, ha yeah right. Please leave a message after the tone.
Beep*
Wendy: Stan, this is Wendy. Where the fuck are you?! I have been calling you for hours and hours and you aren't picking up. It isn't regarding the baby, but it's because I'm worried about you right now. I'm scared that you going on another adventure with Kyle has caused you to die.
Wendy took some deep breaths.
Wendy: No unnecessary stress. No unnecessary stress. Just, get back to me as soon as you can.
Wendy hung up.
Suddenly, Wendy heard some water dripping on the floor.
Wendy looked down.
Wendy: Shit!!!
There was a puddle.
Wendy: I spilt my water.
We see Wendy standing a glass cup that had been knocked over.
Wendy: Oh and my water's broke. Double fuck.
Two hours later, but only 18 hours before the target date.
The chopper landed in the middle of the playground in South Park elementary.
The boys exited the helicopter.
Kyle: We made it, strange that the dealers had this set up.
They climbed over the wall stood in front of the school.
Kyle: Well, we made it.
Stan: Well, we're 18 hours early.
Kyle: Still, we're here.
Stan: Yeah. You were right Kyle, we were gonna get out of this.
Kyle: Yeah.
Stan: Although, it does seem a bit too convenient you took helicopter piloting classes.
Kyle laughed.
Cartman: Yeah, this is nice and all you guys.
Silence.
Stan: No mean comment?
Cartman: No. I'm amazed that the skewl is still standing after years.
Stan: Yeah.
Suddenly, they heard a car park up.
Bebe: Stan!!
Stan: Bebe?
Bebe: Where the hell have you been?! Wendy's been in labour for two hours!!
Stan: What?!
Bebe: Get your asses to the hospital, hurry!!
Bebe drove off.
Stan: Wait, don't you wanna give us a lift?!
Kyle: You have a car at your house, right?
Stan: Oh yeah.
Later.
Hell's Pass Hospital.
The boys arrived there.
They ran in, straight to the receptionist.
Stan: Wendy Marsh.
Receptionist: Room 12 on the second floor.
Stan: Thank you, very munch.
They ran up to the second floor where they were greeted by Stan's parents, Wendy's parents and Bebe.
Sharon: Stanley!
Sharon ran up to Stan and hugged him.
Sean (Wendy's father): Where have you been?
Stan: Sorry, Sean, been a bit occupied.
Deborah (Wendy's Mom): Wendy had been calling you for hours, why didn't you pick up?
Stan stood there trying to think of a reason.
Kyle: Well...I came back into Stan's life on his birthday and I asked him to join me to get the guys so we can fulfil a deal we made 20 years ago. He said no at first but he came back round again and joined me to get the guys. We eventually got the guys but on the way back, we were chased by Billie Eillish, the Bropranos and some random businessman. The car got destroyed but I got a chopper just in case the car got destroyed. So, you know. That's that.
Everyone stared at Kyle in disbelief.
Deborah: And we should believe them because.
Randy: Because this is the kind of stuff my son and his friends would've been up to twenty years ago.
Sean started chuckling.
Sean: Back on some crazy adventures, aren't you?
Stan: Yeah. Now I better get to my wife.
Stan ran into room 12.
Cartman: Hey Bebe, long time no see.
Bebe: I know I hate you, but my ex boyfriend is a huge fan of your Star Trek show and I wanna make him jealous by having a picture with Captain Kirk.
Cartman: Uh...ok.
In room 12.
Stan was holding onto Wendy's hand as she was trying to give birth.
Stan: Breath...breath. Take it easy honey.
Wendy: I'm trying Stan.
Wendy continued to breath.
Wendy: How was your trip?
Stan: We had some ups and downs on the way, but in the end, it worked out fine. Apart from almost being killed by Billie Eillish.
Wendy: You were almost killed by Billie Eillish?!
Stan: Yeah.
Wendy was in disbelief at first, but then she continued screaming.
Later.
In the waiting room.
Stan ran in the waiting room.
Stan: She's here.
Everyone got excited.
Kyle: What have you named her?
Randy: Is it Hilary?
Stan: We named her Lily.
Randy: Aww. Is her middle name Hilary?
Stan sighed.
Stan: Her middle name is actually...actually we haven't thought of a middle name yet but Hilary is a consideration.
Randy: Yeah!!!!
Sharon: May we see her?
Later.
They walked into room 12 where Wendy is seen holding the baby in a white blanket.
Wendy smiled and showed the baby to them.
She had brown eyes and a few freckles forming.
Cartman: Freckles?! You sure this baby is Stan's? It could be a ginger.
Wendy: Way to ruin the moment.
Wendy handed the baby to Stan.
Bebe: Aww, She has your nose, Stan.
Stan: Lily, this is your godmother, Bebe.
Bebe pulled her phone out.
Bebe: Ok. I recorded that and now I'm gonna make that bitch, Jenny Simons jealous.
Bebe left the room.
Stan: Should we...
Wendy: No. Bebe's fine.
Stan showed Lily to Randy, Sharon, Deborah and Sean.
Stan: And these are your grandparents.
Deborah: Sean, She has Wendy's eyes.
Randy: Welcome to the world, Lily Hilary Marsh.
Stan: Dad, Hilary is still a consideration.
Stan showed Lily to his friends.
Stan: This Cartman.
Cartman: He might not be your father.
Stan: Cartman! This is Kenny and this is Kyle, your godfather.
Kyle was amazed up hearing that sentence.
Kyle: Godfather?
Stan: Well, I kind of had to. During our time together, I learnt to stop hating you. Because this road trip was just like old times sake. We had a motivation, Cartman said somethings, we pissed off a celebrity and we...well just spent those moments as friends.
Kyle smiled.
Kyle: Hello Lily. I'm your godfather.
Lily made some baby noises.
Cartman: Although, there was something missing.
Kenny pulled a worried look.
Stan: What is it Cartman?
Cartman: I don't know. Something we'd feel incomplete without.
Kenny: I've gotta go.
Kenny started to hastily leave the room.
Stan: Well, whatever it is, I hope it's-
Kenny was about to leave but Butters burst in, crushing the door on Kenny's face.
Butters: Is she here?
Stan: Yup.
Butters approached Stan, holding Lily.
Butters: Hey there little one. What's her name?
Stan: Lily Michelle Marsh.
Randy: Aww!!
Stan: Dad, she's my daughter.
The door closed on its own and it is revealed that Kenny's face is bloodied.
They all noticed this and gasped.
Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!!!