A/N: Just for the record, I've always stunk at coming up with mild insults. XD

In all of my stories, my headcanon is that Finn is fluent in Spanish, nearly so in French and Latin, and -as of Interning- learning Lemurian. I don't know, Finn just seems like the sort of person who would have this talent he keeps hidden because his dad considers it worthless.

Briefly: After a case of clearing a collapsing base for Finn and a seal rescue for the Nektons collide, Finn's stuck with an injured Fontaine and a baby seal. To get them to safety, Finn has to take drastic measures: kidnap himself over to the Nektons' side.

Response to Guests:

Guest: Will knows how stubborn Kaiko can be. XD And, here it is! The Deep is such an unappreciated show, so I just had to. ;) And Keith is fun to write, too! Kidnapping probably happens pretty frequently on the black market. Not usually with the Nektons, but eh. XD Yep, they're all bad at directions, Hammerhead just marginally less so. Hm, Voltron and DP crossover? I'm not really sure how that would happen... Thanks for your review!

Random Fan: Poor Finn might need a break. From everyone. XD Finn, the attempted escapee. XD Nope, Finn will just go along with it. Yeah, not even the walls will give Finn a break! It's going to be ridiculously regular.

It had been a month since Finn's latest kidnapping, and he was finally feeling like normal again. The dizziness, shortness of breath, and headaches were gone. Finn planned to avoid collapsing tunnels for some time.

He should've known it would be impossible.

"Okay, everybody, let's move!" Finn hollered as he ran into the storeroom. "The Dark Orca's leaving in half an hour, with or without you!"

The two crewmen dropped their crate and bolted. When Hammerhead threatened to leave people behind, he meant it.

"Of course," Finn mused as he ran into another tunnel. "It's not like it's intentional."

Hammerhead was notoriously bad at keeping track of his crew. Somebody got left behind too many times to count, and it could be hours before their absence was noticed. Even his kids ran the risk of getting left behind unless Danny Boy or another pirate realized they were missing.

That's where Finn came in.

"Let's go, we're leaving!" Finn yelled into the underground galley.

"Whatever fer, arr?" asked the cook, known to everyone as Appy.

Finn paused from dashing from the room. He flung out his hands, "You have noticed that our hideout is falling down around our ears, right?"

Appy squinted at him. "Arr, that's just them thermals actin' up again."

"Yeah, really acting up," Finn retorted. "The berths were blown to pieces."

"Arr, Those chum buckets needed a hot shower," Appy chortled.

"The Cap'n ordered a full abandon base," Finn said, backing into the hall. "Be there or be left behind!"

Finn ran on without waiting for a response. For the next fifteen minutes, Finn darted in and out of the various rooms of the pirates' arctic base. The going got trickier as exploding thermals wrecked tunnels, but Finn had to get everyone moving in the right direction.

Finally, Finn thought he'd grabbed everyone. He mentally calculated how much longer he had, then decided to run one last check of the bolt hole. Some of the pirates may have taken the wrong tunnel when Finn called to abandon base. It wasn't entirely unheard of.

Halfway down the tunnel, the air grew colder. Finn shivered as he sprinted down the rumbling tunnel. He grabbed the flashlight hanging at his belt and flicked it on, as the further sections of tunnel were unlit.

Finn was nearly to the end when he heard voices and saw lights ahead. He grumbled to himself.

"Hey, sardine brains!" Finn hollered, tearing around a bend. "The sub's this-"

Finn ground to a halt so fast, he nearly fell on his face. He stumbled a bit, then caught himself and gaped at the four Nektons facing him.

"Finn?" Kaiko said.

Finn face-palmed. "I thought you weren't following me!"

"We're not," Ant said. "Are you following us?"

"I've got more important things to do," Finn said, shaking his flashlight at the Nektons. "Now, as I was saying, this place is coming down!"

"We know," Kaiko said. "We came after some seals."

Finn finally noticed the Nektons' furry companions. Four adult harp seals were clustered behind Ant, staring at his back. Will struggled to hold a juvenile seal, and Fontaine held a small white puffball.

"No more seals this way," Finn said, jutting a thumb over his shoulder. "Your turn. Did you pass any pirates on your way?"

Kaiko shook her head. "Why?"

"I told you pirates are bad at directions," Finn said. "I've got to make sure everyone's headed the right way."

Something rumbled deep underground, shaking the floor. Finn and the Nektons scrambled for balance, and Will's efforts startled the adult seals.

Giving alarmed barks, the seals backed away from Ant. The pup in Fontaine's arms made a sort of warble when the biggest female moved out of sight.

"Hurry, and go!" Finn said, pointing the way the Nektons had come. "The seals will follow… or not. Wrong way, Scar!"

Finn glared when the smallest female with a reddish marking on her dark face dragged herself closer to him, then realized what he'd said. He felt his face heating up when he looked up and saw the Nektons' amused smiles.

"You named them?" Ant asked. He pointed at the one Will held. "What do you call that one?"

"One-Eye," Finn said shortly. "He's blind in one eye and doesn't like to be restrained. If you put him down, he'll follow Scar."

"You actually named them?" Fontaine asked.

"What? This is a base, so we spend a lot of time here." Finn gestured when the tunnel shook yet again. "Well, former base. Now, if you're done talking, I have to- ugh, no, Scar!"

Finn pulled his pant leg out of the seal's mouth. Finn tended to smell like fish and Scar, not the brightest of the pod, often mistook his clothes for food.

"Come on, guys," Ant said, stumbling sideways when the floor shook. "Safety is this way!"

Ant turned around, revealing some sort of fishtank/backpack hybrid. A small yellow-and-purple fish -Finn had heard it called Jeffrey- huddled in a toy castle. The seals not currently trying to eat Finn's pants turned back and stared at the fish.

"Yes, go on," Finn said, pushing Scar until she was turned back to Ant. "Look, we really have to run."

Crack!

Everyone looked quickly up as a split formed in the ceiling. Finn and the Nektons rapidly backed away in opposite directions.

Kaiko noticed Finn getting further away and called, "Where are you going?"

"Back to the Dark Orca," Finn said with a jaunty salute.

Kaiko's eyebrows creased. "Then why-"

"Kaiko!" Will yelled.

Will grabbed Kaiko's arm and jerked her back. A second later, a large stone crashed down from the ceiling.

"Ant, go!" Will ordered. "We'll watch the seals!"

Ant nodded and bolted down the tunnel. The seals followed, thankfully. Pebbles rained from the ceiling as the rest of the Nektons tried to follow.

Finn turned the way he'd come, but paused. He heard an odd sound, some sort of distant roar. It was coming from the floor and rapidly getting louder.

Finn gulped. "She's gonna blow!"

"Get down!" Kaiko yelled over the roar.

Finn threw himself to the floor, as close to the wall as he could get. He wrapped his arms around his head and neck.

A second later, the floor exploded.

Everything was drowned out by the rush of air and water. The floor bucked, tossing Finn away from the wall. Bits of stone and hot water pelted Finn, then it was over.

Finn lifted his head. His flashlight had rolled into a niche, leaving just enough light to show the tunnel had partially collapsed where he and the Nektons had been standing a minute before. Steam rose from between the boulders littering the tunnel. The rumbling had largely died down, but Finn suspected there would be more explosions.

Voices drifted from a small gap near the tunnel ceiling. Finn sighed in relief. At least they'd gotten clear as well.

"Fontaine?!" called Will.

Finn stiffened. Or not.

"Who's missing?" Finn called, scrambling to his feet.

"Just Fontaine," Will said. "Is she over there?"

Before Finn could respond, he heard a groan. Finn snatched up his flashlight and rounded a particularly large boulder in the path.

Fontaine was flat on her stomach near the collapse. She blinked dazedly at Finn while the seal pup whined and poked her with her nose.

"She's here," Finn called. He crouched. "Are you hurt?"

"Like you care," Fontaine huffed.

Finn grinned. "She's fine!"

"Of course, I'm- ah!"

Fontaine flinched as she tried to push herself up. She hissed out of her teeth, then twisted to see behind her.

Finn lifted the flashlight. He grimaced when he saw a section of rock across Fontaine's legs.

"Fontaine!" Kaiko said. "What's wrong?"

"A rock fell on her legs," Finn said, moving to inspect the rock. "Fontaine, can you move your feet?"

Only Fontaine's left foot was visible, but it moved. Fontaine gave another small cry.

"I can't move my other foot," Fontaine said, voice shaky. "I think it's pinned."

"Hold still; it doesn't look too heavy," Finn said.

Finn set the flashlight on the floor, then planted his feet and grabbed the edge of the stone. He pulled as hard as he could, and slowly raised the stone. He shifted his fingers for a better grip, then gasped when he realized the new spot was slick with water.

"Pull your foot out!" Finn grunted, feeling his hold slip.

Fontaine jerked away with a yelp, then Finn lost his grip. He leaped backwards, letting the stone crash harmlessly to the ground. He turned to Fontaine, who held her ankle.

"Are you okay?" Finn asked.

"I'll live," Fontaine grumbled, pushing herself to her feet.

"You're welcome," Finn said mildly.

Fontaine looked flustered for a second. She took a step away, then her face twisted. She fell to her knees with a cry.

"Fontaine!" came worried yells from behind the collapse.

"I'm fine!" Fontaine said breathlessly. "But my ankle…"

Finn watched Fontaine rub her ankle, sensing she wouldn't appreciate him checking it. Her wetsuit wasn't torn, so she at least hadn't been cut. But a pretty big stone had fallen on it…

"It's not broken," Fontaine said after a minute. "Just twisted. The rock twisted it weirdly."

"Just stay put," Will said. "We're coming to you."

A second later, the floor shook. Finn braced his feet and spread his arms, but the tremor was brief. Unfortunately, Finn didn't think it would last.

"We can't stay here, and there's not enough time to dig out," Finn said.

Fontaine shook her head. "Well, what else can we do?"

"I can get you outside," Finn said to Fontaine.

"I'd rather stay here than go on the Dark Orca," Fontaine promptly said.

Finn rolled his eyes while Will scoldingly said Fontaine's name.

"There's another bolt hole," Finn said, directing his words toward the collapse. "If I get Fontaine outside, can you meet us up top?"

"We'll be there," Will said. "Fontaine, will you be alright?"

"I'll be there," Fontaine said with a sigh.

Finn let Fontaine stubbornly pull herself to her feet. She didn't put much weight on her right foot, instead using the wall to take a step. She grimaced, but managed it. She then bent down and picked the pup back up.

Finn rolled his eyes when Fontaine took another unsteady step. He went to her side, holding his hands up when she glared at him.

"You aren't going to be able to move fast enough on that ankle," Finn said.

Fontaine turned her head away and continued to limp at her slow pace. It didn't help that Fontaine only had one free hand, the second holding a squirming seal pup. Finn sighed and followed.

"At least let me take Pearl so you have both hands," Finn said when they'd gone a whole three feet in five minutes.

Fontaine stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Pearl?"

"She's small, white, and round." Finn held out his hands.

Fontaine stared at Finn for a long minute, then shifted so she leaned against the wall. She held out Pearl with both hands.

"Don't drop or squeeze her," Fontaine said.

"This isn't my first time holding a seal pup," Finn informed her, taking Pearl.

Fontaine didn't respond, but Finn noticed she was watching him while they resumed walking. Finn pretended to not notice and cuddled Pearl until she stopped squirming and squeaking for her mom.

With her hands free, Fontaine could move faster. She switched between hopping on her good foot and limping with the help of the wall, depending on how much debris there was on the ground.

Still, Finn knew they weren't moving fast enough. By the time they reached the fork for the second bolt hole, the floor was steadily shaking. And Finn knew Fontaine would be slower on the way outside, since the way was steeper and more cluttered from disuse.

Finn stopped at the fork and waited for Fontaine to catch up. She was panting hard, but refused to meet Finn's eyes.

"Look," Finn said. "If you want to get outside in time, I'm going to have to help you."

Fontaine drew herself up. "I can make it!"

"We aren't even halfway there!" Finn snapped. "And the rest of the way is even worse."

Fontaine looked at the second bolt-hole, then at the clear path deeper into the base. "What about that way?"

"No way outside, unless you can hold your breath for five minutes."

"The Rover-"

"The entrance is hidden," Finn interrupted. "Nobody can find it, even if I tried to guide them from here. It's this way or nothing."

Fontaine glared at Finn, as if he was bluffing. Finn didn't react beyond meeting her gaze. Finally, Fontaine huffed and turned toward the tunnel. At the same time, the floor gave a hard shudder.

"Come on, Fontaine," Finn said. He reached to take her arm. "Why won't you let me help you?"

Fontaine jerked away. "Because I don't trust you!"

Finn blinked. "Huh?"

Fontaine waved a finger in his face. "I don't trust you."

"Because I'm a pirate?" Finn asked, rolling his eyes.

"Because I trusted you before, and you betrayed my family," Fontaine snapped. "What if the Dark Orca is waiting to take the Aronnax? How do I know this isn't some trap of yours?"

"If this was a trap, my life wouldn't be in danger, too," Finn said.

"Sure it is," Fontaine said, clearly disbelieving. "Hammerhead totally ditched you when you ran off to 'check for pirates.'"

Finn dropped his eyelids halfway. "Yep, he did."

Fontaine blinked. "Wait, what?"

"It's not Dad's fault that he forgets he's got a kid," Finn said, shrugging. "He probably expects me to know better than to take too long. Of course, I'm not usually trying to rescue stubborn girls from falling tunnels."

"Hammerhead seriously left you behind?"

"You're still stuck on that? Yeah, it happens to everyone."

"Not usually," Fontaine said.

"I always wondered," Finn mused. "Anyway, can we go? I'd rather not be a pancake."

"So, once we're outside, where will you go?" Fontaine asked. "Will the Dark Orca be nearby?"

Finn shrugged. "Probably not. Hey, do you think your parents will mind if I catch a ride with you guys?"

"You want us to 'kidnap' you again?" Fontaine asked with a smile.

"Sure, why not? Kidnapping pirates who are minding their own business seems to be the new Nekton family trade."

Fontaine snorted in amusement. "You're kidnapping yourself to the good guys' side."

"From where I'm standing, you're the bad guys," Finn corrected her.

Another strong shudder cut off the conversation. Finn eyed the ceiling.

"Okay, this has been fun and all, but we really have to go. Just let me help you."

Fontaine stared at Finn. For a moment, Finn was afraid she was going to refuse again, then she put her arm out.

"Okay, great," Finn said. "Here, hold Pearl; I've got you."

It took a bit of maneuvering, but Finn got Fontaine's right arm on his shoulder. He put one hand around Fontaine's waist and held the flashlight in the other. Fontaine held Pearl in her free hand.

"Good?" Finn waited for Fontaine to nod. "Great, let's go!"

Fontaine stumbled in her first steps, but Finn patiently steadied her until she could figure out a pattern. Soon, she was able to limp at a decent pace with Finn's support.

"How far until we get outside?" Fontaine asked. She grunted as she stumbled over a rock.

Finn caught Fontaine before responding, "It's a mile. We can make it."

"Before this whole place blows up?"

"That would be great."

Fontaine grunted and fell silent. A few minutes later, Fontaine began to pant. Finn opened his mouth to ask if she needed to stop, but Fontaine spoke first.

"So… Pearl?"

"Yeah?"

"Why Pearl?"

"In my defense, I was still recovering from a concussion," Finn said.

"Okay… what about Scar?"

"Short for Scarlet," Finn admitted. "Because of the red spot."

"And…. and the others?"

Finn glanced up when the tunnel shuddered, but answered, "The big male is Ax becuse of his coloring. The two other females are sisters: Luna and Aecor."

"Aecor?"

"Latin for ocean," Finn explained.

"You speak... Latin?" Fontaine panted.

"A fair amount, yeah."

"Why?"

"We don't spend as much time plundering as people would like to think," Finn said. "We get stranded on a regular basis. And I get grounded a lot."

"You?" Fontaine's eyes gleamed with mischief.

"I know it's hard to tell, but I'm a real rebel," Finn said.

Fontaine huffed out a laugh. She didn't say anything else as the path grew steeper. Finn couldn't think of anything else to say, either, and he had to focus on their steps.

With the growing shaking, the ground was fast becoming unreliable. Cracks formed and stones slid under the teens' feet.

Finn wasn't sure how long they walked, but he was relieved when he looked up to sunlight.

"Almost there!" Finn panted.

Fontaine lifted her head. Finn felt her speed up, and happily obliged.

The teens burst onto the surface of the small, sparse island. Finn scanned the rocky ground, seeing in an instant that he couldn't wait there for someone on the Dark Orca to notice his absence.

"Fontaine!" Kaiko's voice crackled from Fontaine's comm. "Come in!"

"We're here, what's wrong?"

"We lost contact, are you okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine."

Finn cocked his head and offered, "Maybe I should have mentioned that the stone blocks signals in the tunnels?"

"Yeah, that would have been good to know," Fontaine scoffed, not unkindly. "Now, which way?"

Right then, dark metal rose from the surface of the water to the south. Finn didn't know if he should cheer or groan when he recognized the Dark Orca.

"There's the Aronnax!" Fontaine said.

Finn looked at Fontaine, wondering if she'd hit her head, and saw she was staring in the opposite direction, at the gleaming exterior of the Aronnax. Fontaine turned her head, then started when she saw the Dark Orca.

"Oh. Looks like both our rides are here," Fontaine said, sounding disappointed.

The ground gave a massive shudder. The teens were nearly thrown to the ground. Pearl squeaked when Fontaine accidentally squeezed her.

Finn shook his head. "You won't make it alone."

Fontaine groaned. "Don't tell me."

"Nope, we're going to the Aronnax," Finn said, turning the two of them.

"B-but-"

"Are you really going to protest my help? I'll head back to the Dark Orca once you're aboard."

Finn didn't wait for her to respond. He just moved, forcing Fontaine to follow his lead toward the Aronnax.

The teens crossed the island at an unsteady trot. Rocks slid underfoot and sinkholes opened without warning, making running impossible.

The ground felt alive by the time they reached a cliff at the island's edge. The constant shifting meant the Aronnax couldn't get right against the island. To make up for the distance between land and the sub, the Aronnax was just above the surface.

Will ran onto the deck and looked around until he saw the teens. He waved and yelled over the crash of waves.

"You're going to have to jump!"

"That's a ten foot drop!" Fontaine protested.

"And five feet from land," Finn said. "Any higher, and you won't be able to jump that far without a running start."

"I'll catch you!" Will promised.

Fontaine groaned, but nodded.

"Pearl first," Finn said.

Fontaine straightened and stood on her own, then handed Pearl over. Finn gently tossed the pup, warbling the whole way, down to Will's gentle arms. Once the pup was safely stowed in the lift and Will returned, Finn turned to Fontaine.

"Your turn!"

"Great," Fontaine muttered. She glanced at Finn. "You'd better get to your sub."

Finn nodded, but didn't move. For a split-second, Finn considered jumping to the Aronnax. He was curious of what the Nektons would say.

Plus, Finn had the suspicion he'd get more of a reaction if Kaiko saw him safe aboard than if he returned to the Dark Orca. The dark sub's presence was a coincidence; Finn doubted anyone had noticed his absence yet.

"Finn."

Fontaine's voice startled Finn out of his thoughts. He blinked and grinned.

Fontaine returned the grin. "Thanks for your help."

"As Kaiko told me last time," Finn backed away with a bow, "Let's not make this a regular thing."

"No promises," Fontaine said with a smirk.

Finn chuckled and walked away. His amusement died when the ground vanished under his foot.

Finn's arms windmilled as he skittered backward. His eyes ran across the broken, uneven ground he'd have to cross. Across the island, the Dark Orca sunk below the surface. He'd have to move quickly, but…

What was that sound? It was a deep, bone-shaking rumble from far underground, growing into a familiar roar.

Finn's eyes widened. Right. The ground was going to explode, and this sounded like it was going to be even bigger!

Knowing instinctively that he wouldn't be able to cross the island in time, Finn spun on his heel. Fontaine still stood on the cliff's edge.

"Out of time!" Finn yelped.

Finn broke into a dead sprint toward Fontaine. He thrust his hands out at the last second, shoving Fontaine as hard as he could, then desperately kicked off the crumbling ground.

"Finn?!" Fontaine shrieked.

Unorthodox as his method was, though, it worked. Fontaine was pushed far enough out that Will was able to catch his daughter. Finn, oddly angled thanks to the broken ground, barely cleared the railing. He landed in a clumsy roll, then tumbled into the opposite railing.

"Finn?" said Will, still holding Fontaine.

Boom!

Everyone jumped as the island exploded. Steam and dust shot into the air. The cliffs cracked and shook.

"Everyone, inside, now!" Kaiko's voice yelled over a hidden speaker.

Finn sprang to his feet, eyes scanning the ocean for the Dark Orca.

"Finn, come on!" Will ordered from the lift's door.

"Guess we're really doing this," Finn said with a shrug, then darted to join Will and Fontaine.

"Doing what?" Will asked.

"Fontaine gets the credit this time," Finn went on.

Fontaine, still held by Will, snorted. "Nuh-uh, you just kidnapped yourself to the bad guys' side."

Will stared at the teens, then laughed as understanding filled his eyes.

"If anyone asks, it was Fontaine," Finn persisted, grinning mischievously.

"Nope, it's all on you," Fontaine said as the lift doors opened.

Kaiko and Ant stood waiting in the hall. They obviously hadn't heard the conversation. Both stared at Finn.

"It was Fontaine," Finn said.

"Don't believe a word he says," Fontaine said through her chuckles. "I'm the one that got shoved off the cliff."

"So, what's he doing here?" Ant asked.

"I jumped after her," Finn said.

Ant cocked his head. "Did you just kidnap yourself over to the good guys' side?"

Finn gave Fontaine his most deadpan look, causing her laughter to strengthen.

"You did!" Ant howled in amusement.

"For the record," Finn said, ignoring Kaiko's grin, "You guys are the bad guys here."

Nearly an hour later, Finn was safely deposited on a small, close-by island by the "bad guys."

Kaiko had insisted on giving Finn a check-up along with Fontaine, even though Finn was untouched. Ant had explained that Kaiko always checked everyone after an adventure.

Finn pretended he didn't hear Ant's "the fam-" before he replaced it with "everyone."

Finn shook his head at the memory, then waved to the Nektons on the walkway. They all smiled back and waved.

They were all so genuine. Finn supposed it was because he'd saved Fontaine. Surely that was all, nothing else. And, well, he'd been glad to help his-

Finn stiffened and lowered his arm. The Nektons didn't seem to notice as they returned to the inside of their sub.

Long after the Aronnax sunk from sight, Finn finally moved. He stared at his palm, wondering when he'd started thinking of the Nektons as "friends."

A/N: Guys, Google the sound of a seal pup! It's so cute!

I needed some side crewmembers, so Appy happened. Pete, a twenty-one year old crew member OC from Interning, will likely be mentioned and/or included. He's still part of the Dark Orca crew in this and other stories.

Speaking of other people, the Nektons won't be the only people kidnapping Finn. I have plans for three other chapters of someone else kidnapping Finn. ;)

Up next: Does "stranger danger" apply to old men in rowboats in the middle of the ocean?