Barflies

Kakashi Hatake had come to this bar to forget.

It seemed those days were over.

Disguised as usual, wig on, scar covered, mask off, he'd started frequenting this bar more and more often since he'd been freed from his Jounin Sensei responsibilities.

He'd never had a problem with finding someone willing to take him home.

Well, that wasn't the problem now, was it?

The problem now was that a certain someone wanted to take him home.

He stared down at the pink haired girl (and she truly was just a girl) who had just backed him into a corner.

She was practically purring, trailing a finger over the outlines of his chest.

"Hello there."

He hadn't felt this level of panic since he'd faced down Orochimaru.

"Ah hahah...hi?"

"I'm Sakura. You don't remember me, but I remember you."

"Hnn?" The query was almost strangled. Sakura didn't seem to pay his apparent discomfort any mind.

He looked about the bar quickly for something, anything that could get him out of this.

That's when he saw it. The group of giggling young kunoichi very carefully not looking in their direction. The Hyuuga even had her Byakugan activated, and unless the girl was an absolute pervert (in which case, bless her heart, he now probably knew too much about Naruto's size compared to his yearmates) she was looking in their direction.

So that was what was happening. It explained Sakura's...directness.

"Sukea-san, right?"

Ah shit. He'd known pulling this out to tease the kids about his face would come to bite him in the ass, he just hadn't known it'd be Sakura coming around to try to literally take a bite.

"Good memory. You're right, I don't really remember you, and my mother taught me not to talk to strangers...Goodbye!"

He tried to duck away, but was held back by the arms that shot out, enclosing him fully in the corner.

The anticipation emanating from the kunoichi group intensified. Really, did they think they were being subtle?

"If you never got to know anyone new, you'd never end up talking to anyone at all."

She smiled cheekily up at him.

"Why don't you get to know me?"

"I'm afraid I'm quite allergic to pink."

He coughed unconvincingly.

She squinted. "Allergic...?" It smoothed out again. "I can fix that for you, I'm a medic nin." In a flurry of movement, she had her leg up on his shoulder. She started pressing closer. "I'm also very flexible."

He closed his eyes in horror.

She'd been so cute when she was twelve, why did she have to grow up?

He'd had to shunshin away, letting her fall, unbalanced as the solid body under her leg melted away into thin air.

"Fuck."

Later, Kakashi confirmed from several very happy young men that the kunoichi had been given the assignment to seduce a stranger at a bar for kunoichi classes. Better a dry run at home, safely, than having to learn on the fly on a mission.

Kakashi sighed with relief that his bared face hadn't simply driven the teenaged Sakura mad with lust, driving back the horrific imaginings of his perverted mind. That was one lesson he couldn't teach her.

It took a long, long time before he frequented the bars again. The village had been destroyed, a war had been won, and he'd become hokage. After a certain point one feels like one deserves a little sex.

He showed up at the newly reconstructed Broken Kunai, under a new name and a new face, since one could never be too careful. He looked out at the world under tousled blonde locks.

Fewer familiar faces, though that was all well and good—that wasn't exactly what he was here for.

Then he realized.

No one was his age.

He hung awkwardly by the doorway, wondering if it was best to just duck back out. The optics probably wouldn't be great if word got out that the thirty-something year old Rokudaime was ogling twenty-year-olds like a dirty old man.

Then a touch at his shoulder.

Brown-eyed girl wearing mostly a smile. That skirt barely existed.

"My friend is thirsty, want to buy her a drink?"

His eyes crinkled, returning the girl's smile.

"Love to."

He fell into the familiar rhythm of flirtation, glancing here, touching there, always laughing, always joking.

He went home with the brown-eyed girl that night, the other had been distracted by another man scooting beside her and plying her with attention. She'd left early with him, though her eyes had lingered on Kakashi as she left.

He went again the next night, and the next.

The brown-eyed girl, Hana, got bored with him after the third night. Another, a blonde, took her place. He didn't mind. After the novelty of being out and about again passed, he began to go less frequently. There was plenty else to do after all.

The months passed, the village continued to heal under his watchful eye, and his trips to the now renamed Mended Kunai grew fewer and fewer.

It now had been at least half a year since his last trip to the Mended Kunai, and the bar now featured a new addition.

Sakura Haruno.

Kakashi immediately turned around at the sight and left, going to one of the higher-end bars instead. He still ended up going home with someone, but he missed the Mended Kunai. The drinks were cheap, there were almost no other shinobi, and the people generally easier to please.

She was still there when he checked the next day.

And the next week.

And the next month.

He'd had to drop by as Kakashi-sensei, to check in on her at home.

"How old is she?"

She smiled gently down at Sarada, ruffling the toddler's hair. There was a weariness to her face that he had not noticed before.

"Two, now."

He extended a hand to the two year old. "Nice to meet you."

Instead of matching his hand with her own, Sarada swung her fist around at the hand.

"Shannaro!"

Kakashi laughed. Sakura grinned embarrassedly.

"Sorry, Sensei."

"Naruto's kid says dattebasa, can you believe it?"

Sakura shook her head exasperatedly.

"I was there when he said it for the first time. Naruto was so excited, yelling—"

"—dattebayo!" they said together.

Sakura laughed.

"Poor Hinata, now she has two Narutos in the house."

Kakashi shuffled his feet.

Sakura had no Sasuke's in the house. Not for two years now. He'd seen his newborn daughter, inexplicably poked the sleeping Sakura in the head, then left.

"You've been seen at the bar pretty often lately."

Sakura looked exasperated.

"Are people spreading rumors like that now?" She looked alarmed. "Do you have ANBU tailing me?"

"Never mind how I know. A good shinobi never reveals his secrets."

She didn't look appeased. "Sensei..."

"Maa, I'd say drinking isn't good for you, but Tsunade seems to have turned out just fine so I'm guessing it's different for medic nin."

"Yes, Sensei, it is. You should let it go."

He sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"At least go someplace better. That place is..."

"I like it just fine, thanks, Sensei."

Unseen to her, his mouth twisted down unhappily under his mask. It wasn't fair for Sakura to just take his place like that.

"Do you not have enough work at the hospital? I thought you were excited about the new regeneration techniques you were developing."

The Head of the Konoha Medical Division turned away like a petulant child.

"You can leave now."

Sarada kicked him in the shin.

"SHANNARO!"

The Rokudaime Hokage left, defeated.

That night, Kakashi left his office with new resolve, blonde wig and eye mask on.

That bar was big enough for the two of them.

Hana was there, looking older, but still mostly only wearing a smile. He swung himself into the seat next to her, making sure to keep his back firmly to the omnipresent pink-haired barfly.

"Where've you been?"

"Oh, there's been a mix-up. I hit my head a while back and couldn't find my way here. I asked this kindly old lady for directions and she sent me on a quest to learn about myself, the meaning of happiness, and coincidentally, how to mend a kunai." He spread his hands. "I'm quite the metal smith now."

"Get out of here with your lies."

He smiled easily at her shove.

"You're just lying low from a crazy ex-lay, I bet. Did you get news that she's out of town?"

"Got married actually, think I'm free to come again."

"Until you piss off the next girl."

"Want to be the next girl?"

She snorted.

"If I can't find anyone else tonight, sure."

He looked down at her. She was around the same age as Sakura, perhaps a little older.

"Aren't you a little too young to be this cynical?"

She quirked an eyebrow. "Aren't you a little young to be sounding like such a grandpa?"

He grinned.

"How old do you think I am?"

He brought his hands to his face, mock-proffering it for her to inspect. She surveyed him.

"Ah...how do I not know this already? Maybe I am sleeping around too much." She tapped her chin. "Twenty... five."

Seeing his eyebrows reach for his hairline, she corrected.

"Twenty-three?"

Eyebrows higher.

"You're not younger than me, don't lie."

He laughed.

"Just for that, you get a drink."

She took the proffered drink gladly.

"I'm going off to see if that dude-" she inclined her head towards a dark-haired man who was shifting his feet awkwardly by the wall "-is down to tango tonight."

He watched her fuss with her hair in preparation to leave, amused. She clearly had a type; she'd dropped him the moment she'd realized he wasn't actually shy or tongue-tied in the presence of women.

"As for you, if you're desperate, I'd suggest pinkie over there in like twenty minutes." She leaned closer. "You're a shinobi so you probably know even better than me, but apparently she's really high up. Like "helped end the war" up. I wouldn't piss this one off, but she usually goes home with whoever's in grabbing radius once she's on her fourth drink."

He watched her go, not daring even glance at Sakura given all this new insight into her nightly activities.

Sasuke would be...

Sasuke would never find out.

He froze.

She was behind him now.

"Hello, Sensei. You look funny."

A/N: M-rated version of Small Leaves, my other random story snippet dump pile. Multiple pairings, playing with multiple different story lines, playing in both pre and post time skip as well as (obviously) the Blank period. Mostly one-shots, lemons will be galore.