Heyo! thanks for clicking, and I hope you stick around for the long haul! This is gonna be a lengthy one. Just a heads up, though: This story deals with some pretty heavy stuff, like some struggles with homophobia as well as some pretty serious suicidal themes. If that's not your cup of tea, I get it. Some things are hard to read about. If you do stick around, though, I promise there's plenty of happiness to be found alongside it all. It just might take a bit to get there.

Weiss woke up to a pounding headache and an exceedingly dry mouth. The light filtering through her window and shining directly on her face was bright enough for Weiss to guess she'd slept well into the afternoon. Recoiling at the taste of her own spit, Weiss dragged herself out of bed and headed for the bathroom, not even bothering to make up her bed. Untangling the comforter and sheets was not a task she was equipped to handle with a hangover.

Weiss groaned as a spike of pain shot through her, making her head throb. She wanted to complain, to let out a scathing remark at whoever had convinced her to drink so much, but bit back the urge when she remembered she'd been drinking alone.

Shit, Weiss thought. Last night. Memories came flooding back as Weiss shook off the last remnants of sleep. Stopping by Nora's in tears. Relieving her of three rather large bottles of whiskey. Subsequently draining one of them much too quickly. Crying even more. Consciously acknowledging the killer hangover she was resigning herself to before opening the next bottle regardless. Crying even harder. Crying over Ruby.

Weiss fought back the urge to vomit. Whether it was whatever alcohol that remained in her system causing it or the memories of the previous day, Weiss couldn't tell. She put out a hand to steady herself, but found herself on the floor regardless. She was very aware that she stunk worse than her mother on a bad day and that her normally pristine white hair was comparable to a rat's nest, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Showering seemed like far too much effort.

Instead, Weiss elected to remain on the floor, her back pressed against the cold wood. She lay there for some time before the buzzing of her phone tore her gaze away from the ceiling and amplified her already throbbing headache. She reluctantly pulled herself up with an agonized groan before fetching her phone from beside her bed. She moved slowly, in an attempt to stay on her feet this time around. Her phone continued to buzz, the vibrations making a grating noise against the wood of her bedside table, and Weiss grimaced at the name on the screen. She took a deep breath, attempted to steady her breathing and sound as if she hadn't just woken up, and answered the phone.

"Weiss, you should pay attention to your phone! This is the third time I've tried to call you!" Winter's voice blared out from the phone's mediocre speakers, murdering what little of Weiss's brain was still free of pain.

Weiss took another breath, suppressing another pained groan. "Sorry, Winter, I've been preoccupied."

"It's fine, your friend Nora got a hold of me. She said something may be wrong?" Winter's voice was tinged with concern.

Weiss swore under her breath. Why did Nora call Winter? How had Nora even gotten Winter's number? Ren was the most probable answer. No doubt he'd set it all up after Weiss's impromptu visit to his and Nora's home. "Don't worry, Winter. Nora tends to overreact. I just went over for a drink. I didn't have a particularly good day yesterday." It wasn't a lie, but it definitely wasn't the whole truth. She'd had much more than a drink, and her day had been decidedly terrible. Winter made a dissatisfied noise, and Weiss could instantly picture her sister's disapproving frown. She knew what question was coming next.

"What happened?"

Weiss shuddered. Deep down, she knew that telling Winter everything that happened last night in excruciating detail would be the right thing to do. In fact, she knew it would probably be the best way to move past it all. She just couldn't find the words to do it.

"I had a date. It didn't go well." Weiss explained. Again, not technically a lie. Just the understatement of the century. "I'm fine, Winter. I just needed to unwind. Nora just worries too much."

"Alright then, I'll talk to you later. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

Weiss cringed. Lying to Winter hurt, but reliving last night was not something she wanted to do. "I will."

"Alright. I love you, Weiss." Winter hung up, her final words not sounding particularly satisfied. Weiss had no doubt Winter would try and call again later in the day, in hopes of weaseling the truth out of her. Weiss tossed her phone onto her bed and slumped back onto it, mentally exhausted from both battling her headache and talking to her sister. She glanced at the clock, and, deciding that one in the afternoon wasn't that late, let herself drift back to sleep and forget about her troubles.

Two hours later, Weiss woke to the buzz of her phone once again. She glanced over, her headache still present, albeit slowly getting better. The buzz had been a text from Yang. Weiss couldn't bring herself to open the message. She already knew what it would be about. She couldn't handle to think any more about Ruby. Growing too disgusted of how sticky and miserable her body felt, Weiss reluctantly made for the shower after all, contradicting her earlier decision. Maybe the hot water would wash away the rest of her hangover and give her the courage to respond to Yang.

The bright, fluorescent lights in her bathroom felt like needles to Weiss's tired eyes as she flipped the switch and went about readying her shower. She set out a towel and let the water run and heat up, and for the slightest of moments relaxed, forgetting about her troubles as she settled into a familiar routine. However, the moment of levity flitted away when her phone buzzed again, drawing Weiss's eyes to where it was resting on her bathroom counter. Another message from Yang. Weiss bit her lip and hesitated for a moment, before turning her phone off and setting it face down. Out of sight, out of mind, she thought. She was vaguely aware that what she'd just done was going to do more harm in the end, but she stopped caring as she stepped into the now warm shower.

The scalding sensation that accompanied the hot water's initial contact on Weiss's bare skin slapped away what little desire she had to crawl back in bed. As she felt the water beat down on her shoulders, she relaxed into the flow, hoping to let the water wash away both the grime and her worries. Frustratingly, the latter seemed to stick around. Weiss grabbed a bottle of shampoo from the small rack in the corner of the shower and got to washing her hair, trying to distract herself once again. Her fingers went back and forth through her long hair as the shampoo foamed and bubbled, dripping across her shoulders and face. Weiss squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to keep the soap out of them.

With her eyes shut, Weiss didn't notice as the shower curtain brushed up against her arm, gently dragging across her bicep. Weiss's eyes flashed open as sensations from the previous night invaded her mind. A tight hug. A squeezed hand. A soft caress of her upper arm, much like the one she'd just experienced at the hands of the plasticky shower curtain. An unexplainable panic flooded through Weiss's veins, and she hunched to the floor, hugging her knees as the shower continued to blast onto her back and soap suds flowed into her eyes. She was acutely aware that she was crying, but blamed it onto the stinging shampoo. Suddenly wanting to be out of the shower as quickly as possible, Weiss rinsed her hair and shut off the water, before slumping against the edge of the tub.

"God, I'm pathetic…" Weiss muttered to herself. She stared at her phone, which was still lying face down and powered off. She considered calling Nora, or maybe Winter or even Jaune, anyone to talk to and get her out of her own head, but found she couldn't bring herself to reach out for the phone. Her head fell, connecting with the edge of the tub with a dull thump. She was so, incredibly pathetic.

Weiss had lost track of how long she'd been staring out into the falling snow. Since just after the sun set, yes, but how long ago had that been? One hour? Two? More? To be frank, Weiss didn't really think that it mattered. It was just a way to take her mind off of what was about to happen. Her legs were cold, as she was still clad in the shorts and light jacket she'd donned after her shower that afternoon. She'd made herself a meal and drank a few glasses of water to counteract her fading headache and flush the rest of the alcohol out of her system, and then she'd sat. She'd sat, and stared at the dark TV that sat in her small living room. She'd attempted to pick up her phone and call Winter several times, but always managed to stop herself, and go back to the couch. Back to staring, and to drowning in her own thoughts.

Frost had accumulated on the railing, outlining where her fingers were tightly clenched. Weiss wasn't sure if she could actually let go anymore. Her hands might have been frozen for how long they'd been there. She looked down at the blanket of white that lay several stories below. If Weiss didn't know any better, she would think that the snow on the ground was thick and soft, equipped to catch anyone who might fall. However, Weiss knew that it had been snowing for only a few minutes, and that a centimeter below the pristine blanket of white was cold, hard asphalt. Weiss took a deep breath, readying herself.

"Weiss? What are you doing?"

Weiss froze, her blood running cold. Any thoughts contemplating her current course of action were suddenly abandoned, her entire being seized by ice cold fear. She'd heard the very same voice in her head all day, as she sat and stared, but this was not in her head. Ruby was here, somehow.

"Weiss…" Ruby started, her voice trailing off. Her words were shaky, and tinged with fear. How did she get in? Weiss cursed herself as she realized she must've left her door unlocked last night.

But why would she? It's not as if Weiss had ever expected that Ruby would want to talk to her ever again, much less the very next night. Not after what she'd said and done. Weiss heard the light dusting of snow crunch beneath Ruby's feet as she moved closer. Weiss could picture her reaching her hand out. She tensed up at the thought of Ruby's touch.

"Ruby," Weiss breathed. Her voice was barely audible. She was afraid of hearing the next words come out of her own mouth. "Please leave."

Ruby didn't respond. Her footsteps in the snow only grew louder along with the wind, until Weiss could no longer hear anything, her mind amplifying the ambient noise into a roar. It was a deafening assault on her senses; an attempt to drown out the girl standing behind her, but it didn't work.

The world fell silent once again as the footsteps stopped and Weiss felt a hand slip over hers, carefully prying her numb fingers from the railing and squeezing warmth back into them. The contact was warm, hot even, amidst the freezing snow. It was agony on Weiss's senses. She began to pull away, but Ruby didn't let her.

Ruby's thumb traced circles on Weiss's palm as she spoke. "It's okay," Ruby whispered. Weiss still did not turn around. She didn't trust herself to speak. She didn't want the last thing Ruby heard from her to be some stinging comment that she couldn't hold back.

Realization struck Weiss like a bolt of electricity. Here she was, teetering over the edge, both figuratively and literally, and she was worrying about hurting Ruby. What the hell was she doing? What the hell had she been about to do?

"You've got people that love you, Weiss," Ruby continued, attempting to talk her off the ledge. Weiss's realization faded fast as she realized where Ruby was leading. She knew exactly what Ruby's next words were going to be.

"I love you, Weiss."

Weiss couldn't help it. Her shoulders tensed and she flinched, pulling her hand away from Ruby's grasp. She'd only meant to pull away, to distance herself from Ruby, but the look of horror and the beginnings of a scream that were suddenly painted across Ruby's face were evidence enough. Too late, Weiss realized she had been too panicked. She'd pulled away too fast.

She was falling.

Thanks for sticking around! This is gonna be a long one, so I'll be doing my best to keep a consistent upload schedule. The plan is for a new chapter on Thursdays. I'll try and stick to that plan, but sometimes life happens, so I apologize for any missed uploads. I'll try and let y'all know if the schedule changes!