sooo this is a competition story, haven't made one of those in a looong time. hello td fandom, nice to see you again.

i don't usually start author's notes at the top, but i do believe that if this story gets enough traction, i'd do the cool thing and reply to some reviews, but i'm also not very good with replying in general sooo take that as you will, but imma try to be as engaged as possible, since i recently got back into total drama.

i don't want to give away the premise of this comp fic too early, so i'll put my thoughts on that in the afterword, but i hope that y'all decide to read this whole thing, bc i spent a whole day writing it. my ass kinda hurts now.

anywhoo, enjoy!

From behind the camera, the operator gave the host the signal to begin speaking. His perfect smile flashed the camera as he began to speak. "Welcome back to where it all started: Camp Wawanakwa!"

The island had been restored to it's former glory. After quite a large donation made by the executive producers, they were finally able to enlist the help of the government to clean up all the toxic waste from the island and make restorations to the landscape itself. To top it all off, the carpenters were finishing up the cabins, and moving the bunk beds into the rooms.

"This island has seen a lot in the past few years," he continued, speaking with his signature inflection. "From being a dump size for nuclear waste, to being sunk into the lake, and so many explosions." They would intercut his words with clips from previous seasons, with a lingering shot on the empty lake after it had sunk.

"But, it's back, baby! Camp Wawanakwa is back in business, and what better way to break in the new island than with the original twenty-two campers from the first season!" A still image of the twenty-two contestants from Beth to Tyler in action shots spanning all four seasons they appeared in.

A boat horn was the signal of the first arrival. The host's smile expanded. "Who will get here first? How will they react to the new-old island? And what drama can we juice from them?" He brought a hand to his chest. "I'm your host, the glamorous and super-good looking Chris McLean, and you're watching… Total. Drama. Return to Wawanakwa!"

'I Wanna Be Famous' plays.

Standing on the dock, Chris prepared to reintroduce the contestants as they arrived. "Oh yeah, they aren't too happy about this. What can I say? They really should've read the contracts."

Fresh off the first boat was Beth, who took one look at the island and turned back to the boat. "I thought this island sank."

"It did. And now it floats," Chris said, flashing a smile to the nearest camera.

"Is there still radioactive waste?" she asked, as she walked over to the other side of the dock.

"You ask too many questions," Chris replied, as the next boat dropped off it's lone passenger.

Off the boat came DJ, who came with a similar expression to Beth but not nearly as mouthy.

"Got anything to say?" Chris asked smugly as DJ crossed the dock.

"Uh, yeah. Why's it look so clean?" he asked, noticing a distinct lack of litter on the beaches.

Chris grinned. "Oh don't worry. The exterior designers are coming later to drop off their donations. They're bringing lots of boxes."

DJ frowned, but said nothing else, joining Beth on the other end of the dock with their stuff.

Lindsay came strolling off the next boat with double the amount of luggage than the others. "Hiii, everyone!" she waved as she passed right by Chris to talk to Beth and DJ.

"Lindsay, what's with the bags?" Beth asked her friend, eyeing the cart she brought them on.

"I went shopping! They had a sale on these cute hats, so I had to buy them," she answered. She looked to her right and saw DJ, lighting up. "Oh DJ, I got a hat that reminded me of you."

DJ was skeptical, but when Lindsay pulled out a bucket hat with a kitten stitched into the top, he smiled. "Thanks Lindsay."

Lindsay furrowed her brow, not realising he interpreted her words as an offer. "For what?"

The next boat dropped off Trent who continued to carry his guitar case.

"Hi Trent!" Lindsay greeted him, pulling out a ridiculous hat with lots of pink frills. "Don't you think this hat looks like you?"

Trent chuckled, as he approached the others. "Nice to see you, Lindsay." He offered a high five to DJ who happily accepted, moving right past Chris who was less than phased.

"Doesn't matter. The real fun has yet to begin," he said to the camera, even if the current campers were in earshot.

Bridgette was the next to arrive, but was already frowning at the state of the island. Despite having resurfaced, there were still no decent waves on the beaches. Once again, she brought her surfboard for nothing.

"I guess it's better than what it used to be," she sighed.

"Oh trust me, it'll get worse!" Chris replied with a wide grin.

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "Right, how could I forget?" She stood next to DJ, and this time put her board down before she could hurt anyone.

Justin came off the next boat, but rather than drop their jaws at his appearance like they did in the first season, they all gave him a wave as he passed by Chris.

"Lost your touch, dude," Chris teased, motioning at the lack of sparkles and rainbows that used to radiate from his appearance. Justin said nothing, but Chris flashed a smile to the camera that did happen to radiate sparkles and rainbows. "Hah, nailed it!"

Gwen was the next to come off the boat, already with a furrowed brow and approached Chris with a quite fury.

"Nice to see you again, Gwen," he said lightly as Gwen thrusted a finger in his face.

"You have some nerve bringing us here," she just about growled.

"Need I remind you that you signed a contract?" Chris pulled out one of his many copies. "We need all the drama we can get!"

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "You want drama? Fine." She kicked Chris in the shin as she walked over to the others. Chris winced, jumping around as he tried cradling his shin.

He turned to the current contestants, who all looked at him with a similar anger to Gwen, and frowned. Letting go of his leg, he outstretched his arms in a subtle form of protest.

"Okaaay. To avoid anymore injuries to the money maker-" he jutted a finger at himself, "-You guys should go settle in to the cabins." He pointed to where the cabins were, identical to how they used to be and in roughly the same conditions as they were in the first time they saw them.

"Wait, what about our teams?" Beth asked, looking between her friends.

"I don't care! Just get off this dock," Chris glared. The group didn't have to be told twice, and dragged their luggage over towards the cabins, leaving the dock empty apart from Chris.

Tyler arrived next, opting not to perform an aquatic trick like he'd done before. "Oh sweet, first one here!" he pumped his arms up in the air.

"Yeah. Okay," Chris said, eager to move along. "Hey Tyler, buddy. How about you take your things and go to the cabins."

Tyler grinned. "The cabins? Aw yeah, I'm gonna pick top bunk!" Grabbing his duffle bag, he ran off towards the cabins.

Following the jock came the delinquent, who happened to appear… different than what Chris had expected. "Yo, Duncan. Care to explain?"

Duncan glared at Chris, but without his signature mohawk there was little to be afraid of. Chris started laughing, much to Duncan's frustration.

"Dude, you look so weird!" Chris teased, trying to hold in his laughter. "That's what you get for blowing up my cottage back in All-Stars."

Duncan growled, but said nothing.

"Yeesh. I bail you out and this is the thanks I get? Underwhelming, man," Chris reprimanded teasingly. Duncan walked right by him and towards the cabins.

The next arrival, or arrivals, changed the tone. Katie and Sadie ran up to Chris hand in hand with huge smiles on their faces.

"Katie and Sadie! How was the honeymoon?" he asked, although was interrupted by their squealing.

"Oh my gosh, Sadie! We're back!" Katie turned to her shorter friend.

"I know, right? We, like, haven't been on a new season of Total Drama in, like, forever!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh, it's been sooo long. It was literally, like, a thousand years ago!" Katie agreed.

"Like, twenty-thousand years ago!" Sadie added.

"Fifty thousand years ago!" Katie continued.

"One hundred thousand million billion trillion quadrillion years ago!"

Chris winced at the volume from the two girls. "Yikes. Take your things and find a cabin."

The best friends forever picked up their matching set of bags and darted towards the cabins, as the next camper arrived. Geoff coolly strutted off the boat and approached Chris, tossing him a small tub of hair lubricant.

"Coming in hot from your win off the spin off show?" Chris asked slyly, smiling as he pocketed the hair gel.

"Yeah, bro. I've been to so many parties, gone to so many different countries and tried all their party food, and made so many cool new friends," Geoff said with a smile. "I got this hat from a designer in Paris!"

Chris raised an eyebrow. "It looks like the same hat you always wear."

Geoff chuckled. "Yeah, man, but it was made in Paris. Super dope, dude." He strutted right past Chris and made his way to the cabin with the rest.

The next arrival carried a sophisticated looking briefcase among his other belongings. Harold let out a large sigh to inform Chris of his arrival.

"What's in the briefcase?" Chris asked, a little concerned as to what the nerd would be bringing.

"Only the latest instruments to practice my latest set of skills," he told Chris.

An uncomfortable silence crept into their conversation. "Uh, huh." Chris drawled, realising he likely wasn't going to get an answer from Harold. "Well, the cabins are that-a-way."

In silence, Harold walked off towards the cabins. Chris cringed as he did so.

"There you are, Chris! Ooh, I knew this day would come again!" came a loud booming voice.

The latest arrival to camp was Leshawna, who angrily eyed the host as she dragged her luggage from the dock. She stopped right in front of Chris, hands on her hips, glaring down at him.

The host was unfazed, mostly. "How's it hanging, Leshawna?"

"I been wanting to show you a little piece of my mind," she threatened, raising her fist. "And you better know that if you dare overstep my boundaries, you've got a whole storm of my anger coming right at you."

Chris blinked. "I see."

Leshawna straightened up and patted down her shirt. "I've got my eye on you, Chris. No more funny business from you," she glared, motioning watching him as she walked up the docks.

The next arrival was Cody, who decidedly entered with less flair than he usually gave. That being said, he seemed mostly relieved to be back, if anything.

"Yo Cody, glad to see you," Chris grinned.

"Good to be here," Cody said, mustering a weak smile. "Ever since World Tour, Sierra's been on my back and I could use a little break. But I'm happy to be back with everyone, maybe I'll actually have a shot this time!"

"Huh, not quite the response I'd hoped," Chris said to himself as Cody shuffled over to the cabins.

The next arrival was Courtney who refused to look at Chris, arms folded and her expression cold.

"Well if it isn't Courtney-"

"Save it, Chris. I hope you know that I don't intend to stay on your death island much longer," she told him. "I don't care how much money is up for grabs, the first chance I get, I want off this island, and this show."

Chris chuckled. "You say that, but you have no idea how things are going to go."

Courtney shot him a dirty look. "I know exactly how this is going to go. You're going to humiliate me in front of everyone watching and I will lose whatever credibility I still have left in tact."

"Close. But I don't know what you're talking about. The only one who humiliates you is you," Chris said, matter of factly.

Courtney glared at him. "I do not!"

"Should we play the tapes?" Chris said, looking towards the camera.

Courtney jumped up in front of him and scowled. "Uh, no? Argh! Forget it," she shouted, storming off to the other side of the dock. "Um, where's everyone else?"

Chris jutted a thumb towards the cabins, and Courtney got her cue. She continued to storm off, slightly less angrily, in the direction of the cabins.

The next contestant arrived, and almost immediately Chris flinched, taking a step back and covering his mouth in horror. Ezekiel stepped forward, donning some nicer clothes and wearing his beanie over his head to hide his bald head.

"Ezekiel… how good to see you," Chris feigned enthusiasm. "I nearly almost forgot you were part of season one."

Ezekiel sniffed the air in front of him and when he looked to Chris, the host jumped up and ran towards the other end of the docks, holding the tub of hair gel Geoff got him as a weapon.

"Eh, Chris? Thanks for having me back," he said, trying to smile but revealing his rotted teeth, causing Chris to gag.

"Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick," Chris said out loud, hunched over and holding his stomach. "Can we still do this? What will the producers say if they saw him?"

Ezekiel seemed relatively unfazed by what he was saying. "Can I go now?"

Chris nodded his head. "Yes, please, leave and don't come back!" The once prairie boy now semi-recovering mutated freak left the dock to head to the cabins. "Sheesh, I should have looked over the contracts too."

The next contestant to arrive was Eva, who came equipped with her menacing aura as she shot a glare at Chris, but at least she was less intimidating than Ezekiel.

"Eva," Chris said, trying to regain his smile.

"I'm here to win," she said plainly. "And I'll do whatever it takes to win."

"I look forward to it," Chris piped up, as Eva left the dock for a fairly short introduction.

The next to arrive was Izzy who leapt from the boat before the boat even docked at the docks, which greatly surprised the driver. She waved to Chris, and then in other directions finding all the cameras immediately.

"Hi Chris! Hi! It's been soo long since we last spoke. I remember when you called me to do some short gigs for your other seasons, like season four and four part two. I thought you would've called me in for season five but no dice! Haha, also I tried to return the spider costume you got me but they wouldn't take it back because you're not allowed to urinate in the costumes. Whoopsie!"

Chris grinned. "Izzy! It's been a while!"

Izzy shook her head. "Nuh-uh! It's not Izzy, it's Sniperina! I got really handy with one of the gun models from the military, and they let me keep a sniper. Well, not exactly keep, but I stole it! I brought it with me too, so I can show off my marksman skills using the other contestants as targets! I have a kill count of over twenty people, and I've only fired a bullet twice!"

"I'm gonna be honest, I didn't hear a word of what you said," Chris admitted with a smile. "Izzy, make your way to the cabins."

"Haha! Sniperina's got her heart set on the money!" Izzy shouted, doing kicks and flips towards the cabins.

The next boat arrived and out came Heather, but something was off about her appearance.

"Heather!" Chris announced, smiling at the former antagonist. When she said nothing, he gave her a second look and squinted, noticing that something was off about her appearance. "Hold on, something's wrong."

The queen bee feigned her obliviousness. "Whatever could you mean? I'm here, aren't I? And I'm here to win."

"No, it's not about your personality, that's always been evil," Chris said, earning a look from Heather. "It's about your-" he stopped short, eyeing the necklace around her neck and froze up. "Aw come on, don't tell me that's…"

"Alejandro's?" Heather finished his thoughts, smiling. "Yes, it is. He so badly wanted to be apart of this season, but unfortunately, he wasn't apart of this season."

Chris looked sick. "You mean, you and him are together?!"

Heather scoffed. "Of course we aren't," she said, leaving the dock although Chris wasn't exactly convinced.

The last boat arrived at the dock as Noah and Owen stepped in front of Chris. Noah, not too thrilled, looked lamely at the island while Owen immediately started cheering, doing a happy dance and embracing Chris and Noah into a hug.

"Chris! It's so good to see you again!" he exclaimed, his voice brimming with enthusiasm.

"Owen! Let go!" Chris replied back, mocking his excitement. The bigger male released the two from his grip as Chris adjusted himself to crack his back, back into place.

"I see you've become fan favourites for your work in the spin off show," Chris said, looking more at Noah. "And who would've thought book-face mc-ear kisses would've landed himself a girlfriend."

Noah gave him an unenthusiastic look. "I'm never living that down, am I?"

Chris laughed. "Nope. And speaking of taking a trip down memory lane, that's our returning cast for this season! Now, you two, put your stuff in the cabins and meet me at the campfire where I'll sort you into teams."

Noah and Owen looked at each other and shrugged before taking their belongings down towards the cabins.

Chris inhaled and exhaled loudly. "Ah, the smell of success." He turned to the cameras. "And now, a change of scenery. Let's see what our campers are up to right now!"

The first seven campers arrived at the cabins, but while their next instruction was to pick one, they were stumped.

"Maybe we could all move into one cabin together?" Beth suggested, smiling at Lindsay while eyeing Justin.

"I'm not sure, where's the nice cabin with the pretty doors?" Lindsay asked, looking for this mythological cabin between the two cabins.

"I'd kinda hoped that Chris would've kept the victory suite available. I need clean water if I want my hair to be in perfect shape," Justin said.

"If you ask me, we should wait until everyone gets here so no one gets left out," Trent said, trying to keep the peace.

Bridgette dropped her surfboard, so it stood upright. Gwen frowned at Trent. "I don't want to wait around for Courtney or Heather to tell me what to do."

"Maybe we could stay in our old cabins, for old time sake?" DJ suggested.

Beth and Lindsay smiled. "Ooh yay! That means I get to bunk with Beth!" Lindsay cheered, hugging her friend and jumping up and down in excitement.

"And that means we'll be on the same team as Trent and Justin," she added, looking towards the guys.

Justin smiled, happy with the attention he was receiving. "Fine by me."

The group of four happily picked up their stuff and began heading over to their cabin, but Gwen hesitated. DJ and Bridgette began to walk off, but as Gwen cleared her throat, Bridgette turned to the goth, stopping in her tracks.

"Is everything alright?" Bridgette asked.

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "As much as I'd love to bunk with those two, I was thinking we could take advantage of getting to choose our own cabins."

The surfer girl pondered what Gwen was saying. "You mean bunking with people we actually like?"

The goth smiled. "You know it."

The two girls shared a quick high five, and Gwen followed Bridgette into the old Killer Bass girls cabin.

As they went inside, Tyler came bounding down towards the cabin and nearly collapsed. However he got right back up and arched his back backwards to shout, "First place!" at the top of his lungs.

Lindsay stuck her head out of the Gophers girl cabin and gasped in delight when she saw Tyler. "Oh my god Beth, look! It's Tyler!"

Tyler looked in her direction, and despite being proven wrong about being first, he smiled. "Lindsay!" He launched from the ground and ran over to her where she embraced him in a tight hug.

"Yay Tyler! I thought you weren't coming back!" Lindsay exclaimed excitedly. "Oh! Tyler, you should stay with me in my cabin."

Trent and Justin poked their heads from their cabin and smiled when they saw Tyler and Lindsay. "Hey Tyler, we've got room in here for you," Trent offered. "Want us to bring your stuff into the cabin?"

Tyler didn't break his gaze with Lindsay, smiling in adoration of his girlfriend. "Yeah."

Trent chuckled to himself and went down to pick up Tyler's stuff for him as Lindsay brought Tyler into her cabin with Beth.

Duncan showed up, a little self-conscious about his appearance and made his way towards the Bass boys cabin, where he spotted DJ. The two friends grinned and bumped fists, as DJ stepped aside to let Duncan into his cabin.

"Duncan! Your hair," DJ said, staring at the distinct lack of green in Duncan's hair.

"I know, there's a no mohawk policy in prison. I swear, that place is so much worse than juvie," he admitted, touching his buzzcut.

"Oh, dude. Glad to have you back, brother," DJ said sincerely, closing the door behind them.

Katie and Sadie were next to make it to the cabins, and began making a beeline for their old bunks in the Bass cabin, when Gwen opened the door to their surprise.

"Oops, sorry Gwen! We thought this was the Bass cabin," Sadie said, unable to remove the geeky smile from her face.

"Oh like, totally. It's been so long since we were last here, we forgot which cabins were which," Katie added.

"Silly us!" Sadie chuckled. "Let's go, Katie! Our old team must be waiting for us!" Her best friend nodded, and the two ran to the other cabin, leaving an unamused Gwen to sigh.

As they ran over to the Gophers cabin unknowingly, they saw Justin leaving the boy's cabin and gasped.

"We have Justin on our team?" Katie asked her friend excitedly.

"Oh my gosh! Best day ever!" Sadie clapped her hands, as the squealed, hand in hand, all the way into the girl's cabin.

The latest arrival to the campsite was Geoff who quickly determined which cabin was his when watching Trent and Justin gather Tyler's stuff and bring it into the Gophers cabin. Lucky guess on his behalf, but he burst through the Bass boys door to the shock of DJ and entertainment of Geoff.

"Aw hell yeah, dudes! Guys alliance!" he pumped his fists in the air and fist pounded his friends, oblivious to Duncan's new haircut and to DJ's fright from his unannounced and sudden entrance.

Bridgette peaked in through the door and couldn't hold back her grin when she realised Geoff had arrived. "Geoff!"

Geoff turned to see Bridgette and lit up with happiness. "Bridge!"

DJ and Duncan were left to watch the two lovebirds embrace tightly, smiling fondly at their friends. Their smiles quickly changed to discomfort when they begun to make out loudly right in front of them.

Harold was the next to arrive, and one look into his old cabin, where he saw the group of four that voted him out first season was enough of a deterrent to turn to the Gophers cabin. He entered the boys cabin where he saw Justin and Trent who greeted their former band member with a high five.

"Hey Harold," Trent smiled, before eyeing the briefcase. "Uh, what do you have there?"

"Only the best new instruments for demonstrating my wicked skills," Harold told him, setting the briefcase down on the bed, unbuckling the locks. "I knew that if I were to come back to Total Drama, I'd need to prepare myself to show the other contestants who's boss."

Justin tried peeking over Harold's shoulder in interest as Trent raised an eyebrow. "Should we be concerned?"

"Absolutely not," Harold said defensively. "I plan to use these techniques to make sure the other team will cower in fear at my awesomeness."

His two cabin mates got increasingly pumped for what was in the suitcase, as Harold turned to prepare for a demonstration. Justin and Trent shared an excited look, already happy to have whatever Harold was bringing as a boon in challenges.

"Behold," Harold announced, turning around. "The Bully-Proof Pants!" He'd secured an inner-tube-like devise around his hips, with a series of clips that held his pants up, but more importantly, his underwear. Justin and Trent's faces immediately fell.

"And how's this going to help us?" Justin asked, as Trent facepalmed.

"Now Duncan won't be able to torture me," Harold explains, before he stared blankly when taking in their reactions. "What?" They collectively decided not to talk about it any longer.

Leshawna arrived at the cabins and waved at everyone who could see her. "How's it going, everyone?" she called out, receiving a mix of different responses.

She began to head over to the old Gophers cabin, when Gwen jumped out from her cabin in response to Leshawna's voice, calling out, "Wait!"

The curvy-licious girl turned to see Gwen and smiled. "Hey girl, whatcha doing over at their cabin?" she said, walking over the cabin as Gwen ran up to embrace her in a hug.

"Getting as far away from Heather as possible," Gwen told her, leading her to the cabin.

Leshawna hollered. "Oh, I hear that!" She looked over at the other cabin and shuddered. "Sorry to y'all!"

As Gwen escorted Leshawna to the Bass cabin, Cody arrived. Upon seeing Gwen enter the girls cabin along with Leshawna, Cody grabbed his bags and began to make his way to the guys' side of the cabin.

When Cody entered, he was greeted with blank and rather confused looks from Duncan, DJ and Geoff but Bridgette, who was laying on one of the beds sat upright with a smile.

"Welcome to the fun cabin," she said, to the confusion of the guys.

"I thought this was the Bass cabin," Geoff whispered into DJ's ear, although not too discretely as Cody heard.

"There's no teams yet," Bridgette told the delinquent. "Gwen's staying in the room next door with me."

Duncan put an arm around Cody's shoulder, and looked to the rest with his signature smirk. "Come on guys, let's welcome our new roommate." He turned to Cody, his smirk appearing more taunting. "Hey Cody, wanna share a bunk."

Cody chuckled nervously and squirmed out of Duncan's grip, moving to the other side of the room. "I think I'll sleep here," he said, dropping his bag on the bed opposite DJ's, then dipping out to talk to Gwen.

Duncan shrugged. "Suit yourself."

The next to appear was Courtney, who made her way over to the Bass cabin where she shot Cody an intimidating look that sent him scurrying back into the guys cabin.

When she opened the door up and spotted Leshawna and Gwen, she cleared her throat obnoxiously, gaining their attention. "I think you will find that this is not the right cabin."

Before either girl could say anything, Bridgette re-entered the room. "Hey, hey. I invited them to stay here."

"And why would you do that? They're Gophers!" Courtney complained.

"The teams haven't been chosen," Bridgette said, repeating her intention again. "Chris said he didn't care."

"Katie and Sadie ran off to the other cabin, so there are two spots free here," Gwen admitted, trying not to stir Courtney's emotions.

Courtney shot Gwen a look, before turning to Bridgette and sighing. "Fine. As long as Heather won't be joining us."

"Ooh, she better not be," Leshawna said with a shake of her head. "I moved in here so I could avoid having to put up with her nasty attitude."

The tension was quickly dispelled simply through their mutual dislike of Heather, and the four girls went back to preparing their beds.

Ezekiel pulled up to the campsite and looked between the two cabins which were both radiating with energy from their current inhabitants. He moved in the direction of the Killer Bass cabin, and opened the door.

Immediately, DJ let out a blood curdling shriek that silenced all the cabins who all stepped outside to see what all the fuss was about. Upon seeing the old homeschooled boy, they all reacted in an outrageous manner, with some fighting back bile to others similarly freaking out and returning to their cabins.

"Hey Zeke? Get the hell away from our cabin," Duncan said, brave enough to speak up against the guy but not nearly enough to get close.

Ezekiel was silent for a moment before he dropped his head. "I'm sorry, eh."

Geoff raised an eyebrow. "Uh, dude? Are you… okay?"

Ezekiel looked up to Geoff, who found it hard to maintain eye contact with the post-mutated freak. "Kinda. I got these cool new clothes," he said, motioning to his cleaner, neater outfit. His display of relatively human actions disturbed yet fascinated the boys cabin.

"Wait, are you getting normal?" Cody asked, waving a hand in front of Ezekiel's face.

"Yeah. My ma and pa tried reha… reha… um, healing me through therapy and stuff," Ezekiel answered, before touching his beanie covered head. "But the doctors don't think I'll make a physical recovery, eh."

"That's tough," Duncan said with a frown, not before sharing a worried look between Geoff and DJ.

"Yeah dude, as long as you're getting better," Geoff added, as Ezekiel took the bed in the far corner of the cabin, isolated by itself. They didn't recall when they let him in, but they were all too hesitant to kick him out.

Eva was the next to arrive and stormed right into the Bass cabin, to the disturbance of the current inhabitants. While none of them were keen to have her in their cabin, none of them really wanted to kick her out.

"Ugh, that's it! No more people are allowed in this cabin," Courtney proclaimed angrily, slamming the door shut angrily.

"Fine by me," Eva added, thankfully not taking a preoccupied bed. "I need all the space I can get."

She was met with looks from her roommates, but none of them said anything to disturb her.

"Hey," Leshawna said to Bridgette, nudging her in the shoulder, "Better her than Heather." Bridgette had to agree and nodded her head, somewhat thankful that Courtney had shut the door.

Izzy landed after a series of flips by the Gophers cabin and burst through the door of the girls cabin laughing as she collided with the lot of them, ending in a pileup.

"Haha! Sniperina calls top bunk!" Izzy said, launching herself onto a top bunk as Lindsay, Beth, Katie and Sadie lay in a heap.

"Eee! Katie we have Izzy on our team!" Sadie said to her dazed friend, who's eyes spun around in her head. Sadie was oblivious to this and hugged her friend tightly.

Beth was less than thrilled, currently trapped under Lindsay. "Great. More of this." With her strength, she was able to push Lindsay off of her and roll the blonde onto her back where she regained conscience.

"Tyler? Where's Tyler, he was just here," Lindsay said in a daze, before falling to the floor again.

Heather, who witnessed the Izzy fiasco occur from outside the cabins shuddered. "You know what, I am not putting up with that psycho," she said to herself decidedly walking over to the Bass cabin and knocking on the girls door.

"Who is it?" Gwen asked from inside and Heather flinched.

"Oh you're kidding me!" Heather shouted aloud. "I am not sharing another room with you again!"

"The feeling's mutual," Gwen called back from the door, followed by a laugh.

"Who was that? Was that… Leshawna?" Heather asked, glaring at the door.

"Hell yeah! Bridgette, Courtney and Eva too. They say to get your skinny ass off the porch and make your way to the other cabin!" Leshawna bellowed from inside, which resulted in laughter from the girls inside.

Infuriated, Heather stormed off to the other cabin where she met with the residence of the Gopher girls cabin. The ones still on the floor looked to Heather and the queen bee was met with less than welcoming responses.

"Oh, get over yourselves," Heather grumbled, taking the bunk next to Lindsay. Beth glared at her and opened her mouth to speak, but they were interrupted with a booming horn that startled everyone else in the cabins, leading to everyone standing outside the cabins to figure out what was going on.

Chris stood with Owen and Noah holding a megaphone to a microphone. "…Eight, nine, and ten. Alright, Owen and Noah, looks like you two will need to make a difficult decision."

Noah retained his disinterest. "And what decision will that be?"

"You'll have to pick which cabin you'll be staying in," Chris explained. "Oh, and you can't stay in the same cabin."

Owen gasped. "But I wanna be in the same cabin as Noah!" He grabbed the bookworm and hugged him tightly, to the discomfort of Noah who struggled to breathe.

Chris furrowed his brow in annoyance. "Listen, if you can't pick which cabin you'll stay in, I'll leave it to a coin flip or something."

"Yeah, Owen's here!" Izzy shouted from across the campsite. "Sniperina's found herself an ally!"

Owen laughed, dropping Noah on his head. "Oh, Izzy! I'll be in Izzy's cabin!" Without grabbing his bags, he ran up to the ginger and smothered her in a hug.

Noah got himself up, patting down his shirt. "So much for wanting to be in the same cabin as your buddy, Noah," he said dryly. He turned to Chris. "Why the intrusion, I thought we were meeting at the campfire."

Chris grinned. "Change of plans. I'll be picking your teams right here!"

He raised the megaphone and briefly played the horn again, causing Noah to wince due to his proximity, and move aside to the Bass cabin.

"Campers! Take a good luck at where you are standing, and get to know the people around you! They will be your teammates for this season!" He paused for a response, and while the reception was mixed, there was overwhelming positivity from both teams. "To my left, the Screaming Gophers! To my right, the Killer Bass!"

The celebrations stopped for a moment of confusion amongst the campers, all but Katie and Sadie, who were the lucky ones who weren't aware that they were wrong.

"Uh, Chris? This is the Gophers cabin, not the Bass," Trent told the host.

The host kept the megaphone to his mouth. "I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that. Also, I don't care. Meet me at the campfire in ten minutes. We're losing sunlight, people."

"And what about the confessional?" Heather asked, flopping her wrist. "Where is that?"

"Oh right. We thought we lost the old outhouse during Pahkitew Island, but as it turns out, you kids made that thing indestructible. Seriously, I don't know how you did it," Chris said into the megaphone, before looking past the campers. "Bring out the outhouse!"

On cue, two familiar looking interns appeared from behind the cabins and wheeled out the outhouse, placing it where it used to be belong. It sat awkward on top of the neat and healthy grass before sinking half an inch into the ground, and turning the nearby grass a dirty green colour.

"Aw look. It misses us," Chris commented.

"Sierra?" Cody exclaimed at the appearance of the intern. Sierra snapped her head around and spotted Cody before letting out an excited scream and jumping up and down on the spot.

"Hi Cody! I missed you! I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself, I applied for a position as an intern here so I wouldn't have to be away from you!" she explained, before turning to Chris. "Sorry Chris. I tried my best not to reveal myself, but I couldn't help myself."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Remember, you're still an intern and if I wanted to, I will fire you."

Sierra nodded her head, but was unable to stand still.

Courtney furrowed her brow. "Wait, so if Sierra is one of the interns, then that must mean…"

The other intern removed their disguise and revealed himself in his full glory, however retaining the intern uniform. "Yes, Courtney, it is I," Alejandro announced with a grin.

A mixture of groans and squeals came from the campers, but Heather was one of them who didn't react at all, instead folding her arms and looking at Alejandro with a sharp look.

"I thought we agreed you would stay home," Heather said harshly.

"Mi amor, don't deny that you would struggle to be apart from me," he said with his flirtatious purr. "I will support you from the sidelines, for as long as you remain in the competition."

As Heather rolled her eyes, Gwen groaned. "That can't be fair. How do we know those two aren't just going to pamper Cody and Heather the entire time?"

"You're right, Gwen. But that's an issue for another day. Remember, daylight is limited. Your ten minutes is now five minutes. Sierra, Alejandro, get out of here," Chris ordered. "Campfire, five minutes. Otherwise, the camera won't pick up my good side."

((Confessional: Gwen.))

Gwen pinched her nose after taking one whiff of the outhouse smell. "So, looks like I'm here. Again." She gave the outhouse another look before gagging. "Geez, why do we still use this thing?!"

((End Confessional: Gwen.))

((Confessional: Tyler.))

"This is the first season I get to be on the same team as Lindsay," Tyler said with a bright smile. "And with my girl on my team, there's no way I'm gonna lose!"

((End Confessional: Tyler.))

((Confessional: Justin.))

Justin poses for a few seconds, changing his pose every few seconds before settling on one he he liked. He opened his mouth to say something, but the camera cuts to static.

((End Confessional. Justin.))

At the campfire, the teams gathered around the wooden stumps as Chris stood in his usual spot where two spotlights were aimed at his face, illuminating him nicely. The sun hadn't begun setting, but the host requested the additional light anyways.

"Alright here's how things are going down," Chris began, "This season took a lot of meetings and was seen by a few courts to get this show green lit. Therefore, sacrifices were made to make it possible for you all to be here right now."

Duncan rolled his head back. "Oh no, no marshmallows."

Owen gasped dramatically. "Please tell me that's not true!"

"Very funny, Duncan, but no, marshmallows were not sacrificed." Chris paused as Owen let out a sigh of relief. "A lot of the challenges we had planned to put you through were cut. Due to the success of the first season, the only way we were getting this season green lit is if we paid homage to the original first season of Total Drama."

"I don't get it," Lindsay turned to Beth, visibly confused. "How much is a homage?"

"So, all of the challenges will be exactly the same as they were in the original season," Chris announced. "That includes your first challenge, jumping off from this cliff and then building a hot tub."

"You're saying that not only are we back on the same island, but we're going through the same challenges as the first time?" Gwen asked, creasing her brow.

Chris shot Gwen a finger gun. "Bingo."

"But why though? The audience has seen these challenges before, why would they want to see it again?" Beth asked.

"The same reason the audience still watches you losers," Chris bit back. "For the drama!"

There was a silence that settled among the campers as they stared blankly at Chris.

"Yeah right," Leshawna hummed. "We all know the only person here who stirs up drama is Heather. Once she's gone, then what?"

Heather shot a dirty look at Leshawna as Chris pondered her question. "I don't know, exactly, but you do know there's a prize involved. And usually when money's involved, people tend to get a little dramatic."

"I'm fine doing the same challenges again. It gives me more of a chance to prove how much better I've become," Harold said, adding his two cents.

"And after my mistake last time, I'm more than willing to get farther than I did before," Cody said with a bright smile. It quickly disappeared thanks to some familiar giggles and then a sigh from nearby.

"Cool, cool. Now that that's settled, get some rest. Tomorrow will be a big day for you all," Chris said, waving goodbye to the campers.

"Hold up, what about dinner?" Geoff asked, looking panicked.

Chris paused. "Oh yeah. Remember when I said we had to make sacrifices?" The expressions of the contestants dropped at his words, and almost immediately Owen burst into wails.

"Are you kidding? We're going to starve!" Courtney complained.

"I need to get my protein intakes, otherwise I won't look good enough for Lindsay," Tyler frowned.

"This is so not cool," Katie and Sadie said to each other, holding each other for comfort.

"Relax," Chris said, interrupting their grievances. "See, that's how you make drama!" His smile was wide and his arrogance larger than the camera could contain.

Bridgette piped up a brow. "So does that mean we do have dinner?"

The host nodded. "Chef just needed more time to prepare his specialties. Dinner will be served in-" He checked his watch. "-Twenty minutes. How about you kids get ready for your first dinner of the new season?"

The campers didn't need to be told twice, dispersing almost immediately from when Chris said they could.

((Confessional: Beth.))

"Chef's cooking might be bad most of the times," Beth admitted, "But it beats having to go hungry for thirty days."

((End Confessional: Beth.))

((Confessional: DJ.))

"Last time, I was eliminated in the serial killer challenge," DJ recalled. "This time, I wanna be able to get past that challenge without chickening out. Have I been practicing? No. Do I have a plan for what I'm gonna do when we get there?" He froze, unsure of how to answer his question. "Maybe I should take this one challenge at a time."

((End Confessional: DJ.))

The campers sat in their two teams, having gotten their dinner served by Chef. Not the least bit appetising but after what Chris pulled, they were not going to complain about having something to eat.

"So what is our team strategy?" Courtney asked her team, but kept darting her eyes at the lone member sitting at the end of table indulging in Chef's cooking.

"Strategy? All we gotta do is build the hot tub properly then we win," Duncan answered. Courtney shot him a look, as if to tell him she wanted someone else to answer.

"What about jumping off the cliff?" Geoff asked, before clapping DJ on the shoulder. "You think you can handle it this time, big guy?"

DJ shuddered. "I… I don't know. What if I miss the safe zone and hurt some poor fishies?"

"And you?" Noah asked, looking right at Courtney. "I recall a certain someone else who refused to jump."

Courtney scowled at him. "Are you kidding? I've survived worse than jumping from a cliff into water. There's no way I won't jump."

"I agree with Duncan," Eva said curtly. "Who cares about the jumps? If we have to drag the crates across the sand again, it doesn't matter. The hot tub is what matters."

Duncan smirked. "And if we lose, I know who's getting my vote." He jerked a finger at the lone member at the end of the table, minding his own business. The rest of his team followed him finger, but turned back around.

"Is he still okay?" Gwen asked the table. "I happen to remember him drooling acid drool."

"Or that time he jumped into a volcano," Leshawna added, emphasising the last few words.

"He's getting better, I hear," Cody said, defending him. "Well, I heard it from him. But if Chris let him back, then maybe he is better?"

Ezekiel was oblivious to the conversation going on about him as he finished the last of his dinner, burping loudly in delight. His team seemed repulsed, but other than that, Cody was right: he seemed better.

"One more please!" Owen asked Chef, extending his empty tray to be refilled again.

"No more for you! You ate half the pot already, leave some for the others!" Chef scolded the chubby one.

"Here, have the rest of mine," Justin said, handing his barely touched tray to Owen. "My body's a temple, and this food is whatever you don't want in that temple."

Owen looked at the serving size on Justin's tray in delight and happily sat back down to swallow more of Chef's grub. Next to him, Harold recoiled as his spit sprayed onto his arm.

"I can't believe we're on the same team again!" Sadie told her friend, amidst the chatter of the table.

"I know, right? And our team has so much nice people too!" Katie smiled.

"Like, so nice! Lindsay, Beth, Owen, Trent, Tyler, Harold…" Sadie listed.

"And Justin," the two said in union, looking adoringly at the model across the table.

"But like, not Heather," Katie added.

"Oh yeah. She's like, not nice at all," Sadie agreed, nodding her head.

Heather, who happened to be sitting right beside them rolled her eyes and glared into space in frustration.

"Oh Tyler, I got this really cute headband for you to wear during tomorrow's challenge," Lindsay said, pulling out a glittering yellow and baby blue headband with a ducky clip on the top. Unaware of his horror, she held it up to his face. "You'd look so cute in this!"

Tyler struggled to find the words. "Yeah, okay, um, Lindsay?"

Lindsay beamed, and clapped politely. "Good, my name is Lindsay."

"No, uh, Linds? I love this headband, and I agree that it's… cute," he looked unsure of his own words while saying them, and felt under pressure to Lindsay's doe eyed stare. "But, uh, do you have a headband that's maybe red?"

Lindsay thought this over before slapping her forehead. "Oh duh? I forget, we're the Killer Bass!"

Tyler sighed a breath of relief as Lindsay took the headband back. "Yeah, that's okay. We'll find something else."

Harold noticed that Trent was staring at the opposite table, and nudged his shoulder to bring him back to reality. "Hey Harold, what's up?"

The bespectacled nerd looked over at the pair of Leshawna and Gwen who began laughing at a joke that Leshawna made, and turned back to Trent who also happened to go back to watching them.

"You're still not over Gwen, are you?" Harold said to Trent, who quickly hushed him before anyone else could hear.

"And you're still into Leshawna," he came back with.

"Of course I am, and I am not ashamed of it. Even if we haven't dated since the first season," Harold confessed.

Trent slumped his shoulders as he sighed. "I thought this time I could try and get back together with her," he said to Harold, quiet enough so only he could hear. "But of course, Duncan has to be on her team and ruin everything."

"I completely understand the rage against Duncan," Harold said with a nod, "If it were up to me, he'd be the first one to go. I just don't want Leshawna to fall for his delinquent beauty."

The two looked over at Duncan, who was chatting lively with DJ and Geoff, as well as Courtney and Bridgette who sat near them also.

Harold let out a frustrated groan. "No fair! They're the one's who hated me, and they get to celebrate being on the same team while the love of my life is still on the opposing team. Gosh!"

((Confessional: Trent.))

"Okay so maybe I'm still not over Gwen," Trent admitted, "But can you blame me? We were happy together. Best moments of my life were spent with her. I just don't want to be treated like the other guy."

((End Confessional: Trent.))

Right outside the bathroom, Bridgette and Courtney arrived with their bottles and towels, only to find a line forming from the door.

"Um, can someone explain what's taking so long?" Courtney asked the line, annoyed that her shower will be later than expected.

"Izzy's been in there for twenty minutes already," Tyler told her. "She won't let anyone else in."

Beth nodded. "She said she needed time to prepare, and that she had to go first."

"Are you kidding me? What is she even doing in there?!"

Inside the bathhouse, Izzy released Owen from her embrace as they broke apart from making out. Owen laughed in his daze as Izzy turned off the running water. Despite what the scenery suggested, they were fully clothed and nowhere near where the water was spraying.

"Oh wow, Owen thought Izzy didn't like Owen like that anymore," Owen said, crosseyed from the mood.

"Yeah, Owen's right," Izzy said, standing back up, snapping Owen out of his daze.

"Huh? What, but we were making out!" Owen protested, wide eyed at what Izzy had said.

"Yuh huh, Owen was making out with Sniperina. The deadliest shot in all of the Northern Hemisphere, or whatever the government marked posters say!" Izzy exclaimed, miming holding a rifle and shooting it, fit with sound effects and an explosive imaginary fight.

Owen was still confused. "Does that mean Owen lost his chance to get back with Izzy?"

"Oh," Izzy said, breaking the fourth wall of her imaginary action fight to talk to him. "Izzy no longer exists because Izzy is being hunted by the government. But when Izzy disappeared, Sniperina took her place, and swears revenge on the people who wanted Izzy dead!" She spoke with rising volume and intensity until she reached the last clause of her sentence and leapt up onto Owen's shoulders before launching herself at the wall.

Owen took the news as well as he could, hunching over in sadness. "Oh." Izzy was oblivious to his sadness as Owen mustered up the courage to say one last thing: "Well, if Sniperina ever sees Izzy, tell her that Owen's sorry and that he really misses her."

He turned to the door to the bathhouse and opened it up to leave. From inside the bathhouse, Izzy heard the annoyed murmurs of the people waiting to use the bathhouse and eyed a spot in the wall. "I'll get you next time," she said, before rushing out the bathhouse.

"It feels so nice being able to shower with clean water," Beth told Lindsay as the pair of them left the bathhouse, hair wrapped up in their towels while wearing their pyjamas.

"Oh, I know," Lindsay said in agreement. "It was so cool of Tyler to let us share his shower, too!"

((Confessional: Tyler.))

Tyler sits with his arms folded, slightly annoyed. "I wanna go on record by saying I did not mean to give away my shower to them. You got that, Brad? I'm still a man!"

((End Confessional: Tyler.))

Beth and Lindsay entered their cabin and prepared for bed. Beth had gotten the top bunk above Lindsay's, and fit her retainer in her mouth before she got up there.

"Hey Lindsay, are you happy with our team?" Beth asked her, speaking through the metal and plastic in her mouth.

"Of course I'm happy. Tyler's on our team!" Lindsay said happily, pulling out the headband again to look at.

"Yeah, but so's Heather," Beth reminded her friend as she got under the covers. "I like everyone on our team except for her. Promise you'll vote her off with me if we lose?"

Lindsay, who was distracted by the headband looked up at Beth from her bottom bunk to find that she wasn't there. "Wait, I'm so confused. Where did she go?"

Beth sighed. "Goodnight Lindsay, let's go out and win tomorrow," she said, as she drifted off to sleep.

"Goodnight Beth!" Lindsay called out, smiling fondly at the headband. "Aw, the duck looks so much like Tyler's cute little nose."

From across the room, Heather, who'd been laying on top of her bed the entire time in silence, rolled over to face the wall of her cabin.

((Confessional: Heather.))

Heather sat with her arms folded and her brow creased. "I should've known that no matter what team I'd be put on, that I'd be the number one target. Seriously, the only way I could survive one elimination night is if I were on a team with people who didn't like each other." Heather extended a hand to examine her nails. "I already know Courtney and Gwen still hold a grudge against each other from All Stars, Duncan and Harold never get along, and don't get me started on Eva." He expression turned grim. "It's just that I was put on a team of the most boring and useless people on the island! If I want to survive the pre-merge, I'm going to have to lead my team to victory every single round or I'll be toast!" She sighed, dropping her shoulders in defeat. "That's if my team would ever listen to me." She then clenched her fists and tilted her head up angrily. "Ugh, this is impossible!"

((End Confessional: Heather.))

Alejandro and Sierra approach Chris who stands on the docks, looking over the lake ominously. The two share a puzzled, yet concerned look, before turning back to their boss.

"Is everything alright, Chris?" Sierra asked, twirling her fingers together.

"Did you need us for something?" Alejandro asked.

Chris remained unturned. "Ah, the introduction episode," he said aloud to himself. "The episode that has no one go home because we spent our half an hour introducing the cast again." Alejandro and Sierra shared a look of bewilderment. "But that's why I saved our last little trick for the very end."

He whipped himself around to face his celebrity interns, who were startled by his sudden movements. "The Boat of Losers is sooo 2007. This season, we were given the liberty of picking our own elimination device. And we picked…"

Sierra and Alejandro waited in anticipation as Chris drew out the suspenseful pause.

"The Kick Board of Shame!"

The interns were unmoved. "Isn't a kick board a little anticlimactic?" Alejandro asked the host.

"Hey, the catapult, the cannon and the gigantic toilet were luxuries, you gotta deal with what we have," Chris said strictly. "And what we've got is kick boards with my face on them." He held one up to show the pair. His face was on both sides of the kick board, and in large bold text, it read 'Kick Your Way to Loserdom'.

"Huh," was all Sierra could say.

"Huh?" Chris repeated, slightly taken aback.

"I don't know," Sierra replied back, getting a bit defensive. "I just expected something more… shameful?"

Chris threw the kick board to the ground, but it bounced back up and nailed him under the chin. "Ow! Okay, new task. I want you two to test whether these kick boards are really all that effective." He held out two more kick boards for his interns to take, to which they did albeit reluctantly.

"Do you want us to swim around for a bit?" Alejandro asked, getting a little nervous about what they were in for.

A mischievous smile crept across Chris's face. "No, I want you two to take the kick boards and kick your way to loserdom." He held up a fourth one when reciting the words on the kick board. "Which is in that direction!" He pointed to where the boats have come from.

Before they could protest, he shoved the two into the water with their kick boards, which thankfully still float under the weight of bearing Chris's face on them. "Go!" The two grabbed the boards and began kicking in the water, moving side by side into the night.

Turning to the nearest camera, Chris flashed his award winning smile. "The old crew is back and ready for another season. Will Heather whip her team into shape? Will Gwen regret her choice to not be on the same team as Heather? Will Ezekiel-nope, I pictured him in my mind and now I wanna puke. Will Owen get over his, uh, what do you even call his thing with Izzy? And, will I finally get the drama I deserve? Find out, right here on Total. Drama. Return to Wawanakwa!"

Screaming Gophers: Bridgette, Cody, Courtney, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen, Leshawna, Noah.

Killer Bass: Beth, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Justin, Katie, Lindsay, Owen, Sadie, Trent, Tyler.

Eliminated: n/a.

so there you go! the big surprise is that this season is modelled after the very first season of total drama, except this season takes place post-ridonculous race. i have to admit, it's not as interesting as an all-stars redo, or a world tour redo where i pick favs from all seasons to compete together and visit different countries.

i really wanted to include everything i could in the first episode, but thankfully, there is a second part to expand on some of the left-out characters of this chapter. i liked the idea of determining teams based on how they pick their cabins, and am happy with how they turned out. i wonder if y'all can predict who will be first to go.

i'll also be experimenting with different character dynamics, relationships and conflicts you might've rarely seen, so look forward to that.

see you next time!

- blue