It all started after the field trip we took. I was pranking my little
sister Lisa throughout the trip. Apparently, I made her very pissed
off that day.

"This time you have gone too far!" she said to me, pissed off.

"What are ya gonna do? Tell mom and dad?" I asked. "They're powerless
figure heads." I admit, mom and Homer are bad parents to me. Homer
mostly.

Lisa gave me a crazy, evil smile. "You'll see. Oh ho, you'll see."

The very next day, I woke up all positive and happy. A new day had
dawned on me.

"Good morning, world! Eat my shorts!" I said out loud.

"There'll be no shorts eating today, young man," said a familiar voice.

I turned to see Lisa, giving me an evil look, and Chief Wiggum, holding
a piece of paper.

"Bart Simpson, this is a restraining order," said Chief. "From now on,
you must stay 20 ft away from your sister."

I gasped. "A restraining order!? You gotta be spitting me! No way,
Lise! I'm not falling for this!"

I punched Lisa in the face. That got me behind bars for an hour.

When we got home, Chief told mom and Homer about Lisa's restraining
order on me.

"Lisa!" mom reacted. "You took out a restraining order against your
own brother!?"

"Yes," said Lisa. "Because he ruined my life FAR ENOUGH."

"That's not a good reason," said mom.

"I don't care!" Lisa shouted. "I want Bart out of my life
forever!"

I started to cry a little.

Then, Chief showed us a videotape about restraining orders featuring
my favorite actor, Troy McClure. That wasn't helpful to my life.

"How am I supposed to know that I'm 20 ft away?" I asked.

"Don't worry, boy," said Homer. "No one will make you count to 20."

"Just because you can't doesn't mean I can't, Home Boy," I said angrily.

"Yeah, yeah," said Homer, not caring. "I have a more humane soulition."

Then, Homer made this 20 ft stick for Lisa to torment me with. She kept
poking and poking me with it. I looked at dad for help, but he didn't give
a spit.

Then, mom motioned Homer into the dining room.

"This is your 'humane soulition'?" she said angrily.

"Yeah, so?" said Homer.

"You're making our son's life worse!"

"So, I strangle him by the neck all the effing time, he doesn't
mind it."

Oh yeah?! Think again, bastard!

"You know, I think marrying you was a big mistake," said Marge.

"Oh you don't mean that," said Homer.

"Yes, I do! You're lazy, you're not smart, and you're a threat to
the children's, especially Bart's, lives!"

"So what?"

"UGH!"

Mom then storms upstairs. You go, mom, I thought as I started crying
inside as Lisa tourtures me. I began to think about calling a Suicide
Hotline.