These are the entries for the first ever Konosuba Fanworks Discord Server Short Story Contest. We had a contest a few weeks ago and a lot of people participated, to my pleasant surprise. We plan on having a contest once every month, so look out for the next batch sometime during May. The prompt I gave to our contestants this time was "Kazuma is sick and the party has to nurse him back to health". Our winner for the first contest is Meyahviing's 'Compulsory Care'. Please enjoy the hard work of our participants, and feel free to give them constructive criticism in your reviews. Also, if you're interested in joining my discord server, feel free to add me. My discord username is 'BoringBone' and my user number is '3777'. You can also send a message to me using this website and I can help you find the server. Sorry for the indirect methods. I can't provide invite links here or the site will eat it up.

-BB

Compulsory Care

By: Meyahviing (Winner!)

"… oi. You mind explaining what this is all about?"

I'm currently tied to a chair in the living room. I had just finished a fulfilling day of hard work with the construction company, and then these damn girls ambushed me when I walked through the mansion door. Even someone as mellow as me will get pissed if they're being this unreasonable.

"Before that, we need to confirm something."

Darkness pulled out a familiar item and placed it on the coffee table. It was the lie-detecting bell used by the police.

"Okay, now first–"

"Kazuma, you're not in debt, are you?"

Darkness tried to ask something, but Aqua interrupted with her own question.

"In debt? Of course not. I'm filthy stinking rich!"

They exchanged looks, then Megumin stepped forward.

"Then, did you make a promise to someone to help out with work? Or are you trying to improve your image?"

"What are you saying? I'm only working because it feels way better than laying around all day, and it's more fulfilling than adventuring."

They all immediately turned to look at the bell, but it remained silent.

"… Explosion Magic isn't the greatest."

Ding

"Guess it's not broken. So, it seems like what Vanir told us was true after all."

"Hey, why can't you make up your minds? You all were always complaining about me being too lazy, but now that I've had a change of heart, you're doubting me? Just what kind of person do you think I am?"

"A person who's sick and is going to die within the week if we don't stop you."

"… eh?"

Megumin just said something scary out of nowhere.

"As much as I hate to listen to that devil, I can't risk losing Kazuma. I still need him to defeat the Demon King, after all."

"Wait, wait, what's all this about?"

Darkness stepped forward and put her hand on my shoulder.

"This might be hard to accept, but… Kazuma, you've contracted a fatal disease."

The bell didn't ring.

"… hey, you're joking, right? How can I get sick when I've just now found my passion for work!?"

"It's that passion for work that's the disease!"

"I know that doesn't sound convincing coming from Aqua, but it's true, Kazuma. You've been infected with a disease that'll force you to work yourself harder and harder, until you eventually forget to eat or sleep. We confirmed it with Vanir, too."

Megumin looked genuinely worried.

"This can't be happening. How did I even catch a disease when I spent every day lazing around the house before?"

All three of them immediately looked away. Oi. You know something, don't you?

"… whatever. Just tell me what the cure is."

"We need to keep you from doing anything remotely strenuous until the disease weakens and vanishes."

"I refuse."

I immediately rejected what Megumin said.

"I have work starting at 6 am tomorrow, so untie me so I can go to sleep."

"Did you not hear us, Kazuma? You'll die if you keep working."

"Then Aqua can just revive me, right? What's the big deal?"

"Kazuma, if you die of natural causes like disease or overworking, I can't revive you, you know? If you die from this, that's it. Are you still going to work knowing that?"

"…"

"… tie him to his bed. We'll take shifts watching him until he recovers."

"Hey!"

"Oi, Megumin, what're you going to do when I end up making a mess because I can't leave the bed?"

"We'll have Aqua use her toilet magic to clean up. Now, shut up and eat this soup. You should be happy that a beautiful girl is feeding you, right?"

"Normally I would be, but this scene doesn't have even an ounce of romantic tension in it."

"Just eat."

Megumin shoved the spoon into my mouth. Since I was tied up, Megumin was the one who made this soup. It wasn't bad by any means, but it was held back by her insistence on using cheap ingredients.

"… seriously, how long is this going to last?"

"Until you return to your old NEET self."

She smiled.

"…"

"…"

"… say, Darkness, if you don't let me go, this'll end up just like last time."

"Don't remind me about that!"

Her face turned red as she remembered that incident. With her personality, it's not easy to make her genuinely embarrassed, so I made sure to savor that expression.

"Now be still so I can wipe off your face. You're all sweaty."

"And whose fault is that? You should've let me change into lighter clothes before tying me down here."

"If we hadn't tied you down immediately, you'd have made a run for it."

I couldn't deny that, so I just shut up as she gently mopped up my sweat.

"How the hell is this supposed to help me recover!?"

"It was tea when I made it! It's not my fault!"

"Then whose fault is it!? Chomusuke's!?"

"Hey, I went out of my way to be nice to the pitiful you who's caught a fatal illness! Show me some gratitude! Praise me more!"

"Like I'd be thankful for a cup of hot water, you sorry excuse for a caretaker!"

"Hmpf! Fine then, I won't clean your bed anymore."

"I apologize. I'm extremely grateful to you, Aqua-sama."

"… I, Satou Kazuma, am a man who will work hard when needed, but won't move a muscle when I don't have to."

The bell remained silent.

"Oh, thank Eris, it's finally over."

"It's a bit disappointing that he'll go back to being lazy, but that work ethic wasn't natural."

"Seriously though, forcing me to work myself to death? What a terrifying disease… thank you for caring for me, everyone."

They all blushed awkwardly at my sudden gratitude. I really was thankful, though. Just one thing…

"I just wonder how I caught it in the first place."

"…" x3

"Well, since Vanir seems to be involved, I'll just go ask him–"

"We're sorry!" x3

Author's note: This contest was a lot of fun! It wasn't easy trying to fit a story in 1000 words, so having to decide what to trim was a challenge. The competition was tough, too; the other entries were pretty strong, so be sure to check them all out! There are even some new ones here that weren't in the contest! And if you liked my writing and want to see more, check out "Chronicles of a Divine Thief," featuring best girl Chris!

God's Mercy on This Incapacitated Adventurer!

By: Striker

Winter.

The time when strong monsters begin roaming, quests become more difficult and temperatures plunge.

It's also during this period that ーー

"Achoo!"

"Need another tissue?"

"I-I'd like one, please…"

Feeling unwell since I woke up, my decision was to stay in bed.

Upon noticing something was afoot, my dear party members worriedly came to check up on me.

"Usually you'd wake up to grab a bite in the afternoon and then go laze in your room again, but to think we'd find you coming down with a flu… You must take better care of yourself."

Darkness gave me a new tissue, while Megumin swapped the towel on my forehead.

"Good grief… Like Darkness said, Kazuma. If you weren't so feverishly committed to going out on 'drinking nights' where you sleep over in town and come back in the morning, you wouldn't be sick right now."

"Are you here because you care or did you come to complain?"

Then Aqua, who was casually sipping tea, said,

"This stinky NEET's acts of degeneracy aside, him getting sick is as expected as Megumin coming here to bother Kazuma about her daily routine, or Darkness nagging him to take a dangerous subjugation quest to fulfill her selfish desires."

"T-That's not it! I truly was worried about my Explosion Connoisseur! Who else would be my judge if not Kazuma?"

"I-It's the time when adventurers like us take centre stage! We've gotten stronger after we defeated the Demon King, so taking on strong monsters should be… A-An experience."

Would I have to be dead to get some proper rest from these two?

"Don't call my desire to socialize degeneracy… And don't call me stinky. Also, what was that about me being susceptible to illnesses? This is the first time I got sick."

Natural diseases are a real problem here.

Modern medicine hasn't been invented, and healing magic can't save you from a fate where you were unlucky enough to catch something worse.

Aqua sneered to my response.

"Didn't expect anything else from the weak and pitiful Kazuma. You should've known that with such lowly stats, becoming bed-ridden was inevitable."

Maybe sneezing on her should knock her down a peg.

…Actually,

"What do my stats have to do with this? Don't they just represent your overall ability?"

"You really are a hopeless NEET. It appears like you don't remember, so let me remind you. Stats affect resistance levels to things like perception debuffs, pain and poison. Moreover, they passively strengthen your immune system. When they are as pathetic as yours, you're more likely to get sick."

"Are you kidding me?"

Hidden mechanics in this world are absolutely stupid.

"Don't worry, Kazuma. If you take it easy, you'll recover in no time. Well, not like this is any different from your usual sloth. That said, leave the rest to us."

"If it's taking care of him for a while, I guess I wouldn't mind. Crimson Demons cherish their comrades, regardless how wayward they are."

"C-Can't you put it differently…?"

Though, getting taken care of sounds like a nice change of pace…

"Kazuma is smiling to himself again… Oh, I get it, you want to be serviced by cute girls. I guess it can't be helped. Looks like Aqua-sama will have to act, so be grateful that a beautiful goddess such as myself will devoteー"

"I don't want your service."

"Whyyyyyーー!?"

.

ー Later, they split their time to help speed my recovery up.

"You have to eat properly even when you're sick. Otherwise your body won't be able to fight back against the flu."

Darkness arrived like some personal trainer following a workout, and sat down next to me with a tray of expensive food.

"I got these ingredients from my household, and I tried polishing my cooking skills. I hope it's to your liking."

She passed me the tray with a caring smile.

Pricked by a sense of guilt, I picked up the utensils and helped myself to the meal.

It looks great, it really does. However…

"…This tastes like water."

"Eh?"

ー Unfortunate psychological damage aside, after begging for forgiveness due to my lack of taste, I woke up with a pounding headache the next day.

Megumin said she has something just for that, although…

"Behold! Lay your eyes upon the creation from the Crimson Demon's greatest potion-maker!"

The former strongest mage of Axel handed me a bottle that resembles a vial of poison.

"Don't look at it like it's laced. It's medicine that will help you relax."

Still hesitant, I carefully drank from the bottle.

"Hey, I'm feeling better already… Actually, I'm kinda starting to numbー!?"

Collapsed into the bedding, I inquisitively turned my head to Megumin, who began nodding to herself.

"I thought the regular painkiller potion was inadequate, so I mixed it with Blowfish and Paralyze Slime toxins!"

ー After Megumin's considerate nursing left me incapacitated, the person who's least likely to be useful in this situation…

"What are you doing here at all? Your magic doesn't work, and you can't cook or make potions because of your purification powers. You're practically useless, you know."

Aqua scowled to my words and said,

"Seems like Kazuma keeps forgetting I'm a goddess. Since I'm benevolent and don't hold any grudges, I'll let that slide. Here, drink this holy broth."

She shoved a steaming bowl at me.

Holy broth?

"…Isn't this just hot water? …O-Okay, I apologize, so please don't use God Blow on someone sick and weakly."

I took a sip, and instantaneously gagged.

"…Hugh!? What's this horrid smell? …Wait, is it coming off me?"

"There's no helping it, you got paralyzed yesterday and couldn't bathe. Holy water has healing properties which will allow your body to function normally. It won't cure your flu directly, so be sure to drink often."

Leaving me speechlessly staring at the bowl, just as she was about to exit,

"Megumin and Darkness politely chose not to comment, but… Please wash yourself up."

.

.

ーー Until my recovery, I never believed I'd find myself sipping on Aqua's curative liquids.

God's Blessing on this Feverish Pervert!

By: Mr. Plush

A perfectly normal summer afternoon in Axel.

「Cough! Uuuuuuuugh….」

Or so I would like to say. For the past few days, I had been laid up with a fever.

I was unable to muster much of my usual strength and settled for lying under my precious kotatsu, which I had converted to keep me cool instead of warm.

「Are you finally turning into a zombie? Hey Kazuma, you know if you die from this, I won't be able to revive you, right?」

Meanwhile this idiot goddess was occupying herself by sprawling out on the couch, sipping wine and playing that Gamegirl she picked up on our last trip to the Crimson Demon Village.

「If you're so worried about me, why don't you do something to help instead of lazing around?」

「Has the fever dropped your INT stat too? You know I can't cure natural sickness!」

An ember of rage boiled up that was even hotter than the fever I was currently suffering from.

「Sniff…Damegami」

「Aaaah I've had it with this Hikki-NEET! Why don't you just sleep the fever off if you're in that much pain? Isn't that what you're normally supposed to do?」

Megumin, supposedly coming from the kitchen, walked into the living room with a steaming bowl in her hands.

「Aqua, you know he can't sleep, remember last night? He screamed as loud as a banshee.」

Megumin was right; I couldn't sleep properly. Since I became sick, I would have frighteningly vivid nightmares whenever I tried.

「It must be difficult, trying to resist falling asleep. I can see the bags under your eyes getting darker as we speak.」

Of course, I was used to staying up for days in a row, but even I had my limits.

「Here, Kazuma. Sit up so you can eat. I made you some delicious curry from the leftovers we had in the kitchen.」

As she sat down next to me with her homemade cooking, I figured I might as well make the most of this situation.

「I don't have the energy to sit up anymore. If I used your lap as a pillow you could feed me…..」

I doubt I'll get another chance like this.

「This pervert… Fine, if it helps you get better quicker….」

Initially taken aback by the suggestion, something in her voice made me think she wasn't completely opposed to it.

Megumin sat down and Iifted my head up slightly, only to set it down on what can only be described as every hot-blooded man's dream.

「Oooooh! So soft! This really is heaven isn't i-mmmph!」

I was cut off as Megumin shoved a large spoonful of the amber sauce into my mouth.

「D-don't just go describing it! Eat your food! I slaved away making that for you, you know. Show some appreciation for the hard work I put into it!」

「Hmm? It's actually pretty good. It reminds me of home, but also… HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!」

「Oh? You like it! I put some extra peppers in there. My mother always said the best way to get rid of sickness is to sweat it out.」

Ignoring her and Aqua, who was glancing away from her game to laugh at my predicament, I used what little magic I could muster to cast one of my infinitely useful elementary spells.

「Create water! Glug, glug, glug-COUGH」

「 What were you thinking! Are you trying to burn my taste buds off? What kind of peppers did you even use in that?」

「Darkness has a bottle of dried peppers she likes to put in her food sometimes, I just took a few of those a ground them up into the curry!」

That pervy crusader! I didn't think her illness was so severe that she'd get off on spicy food.

「Speaking of which, where is Ero-ness? I haven't seen her since this morning.」

「 The Guild had called her over for some important business earlier, so she left me and Megumin to take care of your disgusting self.」

As she smirked and presented this information, I heard the distinctive sound of the mansion's front door and the heavy plodding of plated armor boots.

Speak of the devil.

「I've finished my work with the guild; how is Kazuma faring?」

「 Welcome home Darkness, he's doing fine as you can see. He has enough energy to scream his lungs out in distaste of my cooking….」

「Well, it's good to hear he's doing better than the other men in town. Most of them seem to be ill with what looks to be the same thing as you, Kazuma. Fever, chills, nightmares.」

I've suddenly got a bad feeling about this.

「The guild asked me to see what I could learn about it around Axel. I went and interviewed some of the other sick adventuring parties. The only common thread connecting everyone is that most of them live close to Succubi sighting hotspots.」

Oh-no

「The Guild could only conclude that Succubi are some sort of carrier for the disease, so they've made an official statement naming it the "Dream Fevers".」

I pulled myself away from the holy land and retreated into the coolness of the kotatsu.

「 It was more difficult than I thought it would be to gather information. All the men refused to talk about their encounters with the Succubi; they must have been so traumatized! I can only imagine what it must have been like-Kuh!」

「Wait, if it's caused by Succubi, how did it get past my awesome and impregnable barrier to sink its claws in Kazuma?」

「I too am interested in how and why you're cavorting with supernatural floozies Kazuma.」

「Yes! You have to tell us all about your experience with those seductive demons!」

I didn't have to see outside the covers to know how hard they were staring at me.

「I think I'd rather experience those night terrors.」

Nursing this Pitiful NEET back to health!

By: Dav B

"Kazuma-san? You're pretending to be sick right? Hurry up and get up and go with me to Wiz's store!"

Aqua started pulling on the blanket I was under.

"S-Stop you deranged woman! ...Ugh my head is already starting to hurt worse thanks to you."

When I woke up today, I felt very hot and had a huge headache.

"Aqua, leave him alone. Go make him some chicken soup."

Darkness held Aqua back as she continued to try to pry me out of bed.

"I feel like if Aqua made chicken soup, it would just turn into water…"

Megumin, stating the obvious, sat on the bed next to me giving me a pitiful look.

"You really think everything I touch will just turn to water? Even I know how to control my godly powers."

"Oi Aqua, how about you go make me that Emperor Zell soup already."

"What did you say you shit NEET?!"

Darkness was holding back the deadly Aqua from murdering me.

While this entire situation was going down, Megumin grabbed my hand.

"Don't worry Kazuma. Did you forget I am the number one genius of the Crimson Demon clan? I will cook up a potion that will heal you instantly!"

I think these three taking care of me is a bad idea…

"Kazuma-san, here is your mushroom soup."

"You were supposed to make chicken soup. Also this is just a bowl of hot water with a mushroom in it."

I can't handle this girl sometimes.

"Don't worry Kazuma! I made some chicken soup. Here you go... Ah!"

Darkness spilled the steaming soup onto me.

"AHHH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

This crusader seems to become more brain dead as time goes on.

"Kazuma, Kazuma. Open wide. You need to eat this mandrake; Don't worry, I washed it thoroughly."

And now I have Megumin grabbing at my face trying to shove something down my throat.

I think I would rather die than be taken care of by these three.

"...Can I just get some alone time?"

The girls all stopped at what they were doing and stared at me.

"Hey I feel like if we just leave this NEET here by himself he'll do something perverted."

"R-Right! Kazuma will go down to his secret dungeon and abuse those poor succubus."

"Kazuma, we're not gonna leave you here just so you can whack off."

Why is that the first thing they assume?!

"N-No! What the hell?! You're all giving me a headache; That's why I want all you freaks to leave!"

"All right, I got an idea; I'll make a potion that will get rid of his illness, but permanently make his 'excalibur' shorter. Aqua, go get a paralyzing potion from Wiz's store so he can't fight back."

"Right away Megumin!"

Aqua ran out of the room and I could hear her open the front door.

"Oi, Megumin! This idea you have is just a joke, right? Y-You're not actually gonna shrink my… Hey get that smug look off your face."

"Hey, Kazuma! I was just joking about the shrinking thing! I need the paralyze potion to make sure you keep your muscles relaxed! My potion won't work without it."

I was fighting off girls from making me drink the paralyzing potion.

Even if I'm sick, I'm not just going to let my son be abused.

"Fufufu, does Kazuma really think that his 'thing' is anything amazing. It's probably the size of a walnut!"

"Aqua please stop! You're just making this more difficult!"

When Aqua was out and Megumin left the room to work on the potion, I took out Darkness.

I used bind on her, stuffed her mouth with a sock, and shoved her in my closet.

So I was currently in a match against these two idiots.

"Kazuma! I was joking! I'm not going to shrink your small thing!"

"Good one Megumin! Look, he fell over thanks to your insult!"

"W-Wait Kazuma I didn't mean to say small! I'm sorry!"

While I feel insulted, I also feel incredibly light headed and couldn't stand.

I gave up on defending myself and just fell over.

"Ah? Kazuma? ...A-Aqua get the paralyze potion! We're going to recover him right now! Where is Darkness?!"

My vision started to blur…

I opened my eyes.

Around me was an angry Megumin and Aqua, while Darkness had a satisfied expression.

I no longer felt feverish and my headache was gone.

But I feel like I'm in much more danger now…

"Kazuma… what is this?"

Megumin held up the Megumin figure Aqua made me.

I got her to modify it into a swimsuit version a while back.

"Kazuma-san… my expensive wine bottles from the capital have gone missing recently, and I come in here and find them empty."

Aqua was cradling an empty bottle of expensive wine.

"Ah Kazuma, while you were passed out, these two went rummaging through your room; They found me all tied up in the closet. If only Aqua didn't disable the bind…"

After Darkness explained the situation, Megumin held up a potion.

"While you were out, I worked on a certain potion. Want to guess what it is?"

Aqua and Megumin beat me to near death and forced me to drink the potion.

Luckily the potions effects were only temporary, but entering the bath for that time became more like a walk of shame…

Rest For this Chivalrous Thief

By: Herozombie1

After an exhausting trip to the capital of Belzerg and successfully securing the divine relic Iris had on her, we were back home.

Now that I had finished worrying about Royal matters I, of course, had something else on my plate.

"Why am I bedridden!?"

"You should know exactly why!"

Darkness exclaimed.

"You messed up your mana-flow pulling a certain stunt back at the capital. The illness is a result of your body repairing the damage you did."

It seems the result of me using more mana than I'm used to is a pretty bad flu and something about my mana-flow getting messed up.

"What did you even do back there? Did you-?"

Megumin seemed to come to some realization as she cut herself off with a gasp

"Did you finally learn Explosion!?"

"What? No! Even if I did you would've heard the explosion throughout the capital!"

She seemed disappointed by my answer as she slumped down.

"Anyway…"

Darkness continued.

"I'm not going to take care of you."

"Eh? What do you want me to do?"

"Well you'll have to figure it out yourself. You know I'm against what you did to cause this, so I'm not helping with the afterwards of your brilliant plan"

"Tch"

I would complain but I can't exactly justify what I did to her, especially with the stubborn attitude she's showing.

Well that's one down, what about-

"I'm not helping you either you useless hikiNeet!"

"Oi! What reason do you have for not helping?"

"Don't feel like it! Besides, when's the last time you've looked out for me?"

"I'm giving you an allowance! What would you call that?"

"Something I earned! Besides you're a neet! So this is basically a vacation for you!"

"Ugh. Well will you help me atleast Megumin?"

"Sigh. Doesn't really look like I have a choice do I?"

At Least one of my party members has a semblance of a heart.

"Well is anyone gonna keep me company or-"

Before I could even finish my question Darkness and Aqua left my room.

I guess Darkness is still really mad at me for helping Chris with the heist.

Aqua is… probably just trying to get out of helping so she can laze around while I'm sick. Damn her.

That would leave…

"Eheheh. Well you see I was actually gonna go do my daily explosion with Darkness, so…"

Traitor!

"Actually hold on."

Quickly after finishing her sentence Megumin ran out of my room, promptly returning to my room with Chomusuke in her arms

"Well while we're out you can at least spend some time with her."

Giving her a light scratch on the head had her letting out a soft pur.

"Thanks. It's good to know there's someone who's willing to look out for me."

Megumin blushed at my complement before slipping out of the room.

I guess while they're out I should probably get some sleep.

Either due to the illness or overall exhaustion I fell asleep fairly quickly.

Eventually waking up I notice that the sun's shining brightly through my window.

Crap how long have I been asleep?

Looking around my room it seems Chomusuke was taken away at some point and someone had left Stew on my nightstand.

Guess it's been around a full day.

And hey, at least someone was thoughtful enough to leave me something to eat. I wonder who left it behind?

Checking out the bowl the broth hadn't been purified to water so I guess that rules Aqua out.

Whatever. Doesn't really matter anyway.

"Tinder"

"AAAARRGGHH!"

Ah hell everything burns, what the hell even-

Shit, right, my mana flow's messed up. God I'm such an idiot.

Luckily I had the foresight to try to use tinder before picking up the bowl, so I guess I'm Fortunate enough to not be covered in broth right now.

Shortly after my scream of pain Darkness and Megumin rushed in, with Darkness dragging Aqua along.

"What happened!? Are you okay?"

"Yeah just tried using tinder, now my body feels like it's on fire."

"Really? That's what-? Ugh I should've known you tried something stupid. Just try to remember not to use any magic again."

"Yes yes I'll try."

Fed up with me already, Darkness left the room with Aqua following shortly after. Darkness did look a bit worried though.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, fever might've gotten a bit worse thanks to my stunt earlier"

"Hold on let me check something..."

Megumin then put her hand to my forehead

"Ah you're burning up! hold on."

Megumin then rushed off eventually coming back with a small pail of water and a cloth.

She dampened the cloth and laid it onto my forehead

"Ahhh, that's better. You're oddly qualified in taking care of someone."

"Well I had to take care of Komekko when she was young."

"Ah. Having a younger sister must be nice."

"I guess so. What is your family like? You've mentioned your brother before."

"Well It's just Me my younger brother and my parents. Honestly my younger brother wasn't that bad, but after seeing Komekko I can't help but want a younger sister. I guess I have Iris as one now"

"Yeah I guess so. I mean it was Komekko who originally found Chomusuke."

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask where you found her."

"Yeah… well she was planning on eating Chomusuke…"

"That.. sounds about right.. Sigh."

Me and Megumin continued to chat about whatever we could think of for a while until she eventually left for an explosion with Darkness.

And so the next few days carried on as I would have expected.

Megumin would occasionally check up on me with a cloth and some water that Aqua had apparently been preparing.

Darkness' tough exterior eventually cracked as well. She would bring meals and snacks for me.

And so after a dull healing experience my flu was gone and mana-flow fully recovered and stronger than before.

Author's note: Thank you all for reading my short story. Wasn't quite able to do everything I wanted with the word limit but I think I did alright for my first short. If you liked what I had I have a fic I'm currently finishing as well as another I plan on releasing soon. Also congrats to Meyahviing!

Cursed Sickness was Making Me Super Tired!

By: BetweenIandGirl

I sat on table, watching foods serve on table in front of me. It was…. too much, but I still try to eat but stopped after some bite.

"Urgh…"

"I know it was uncomfortable to eat while being sick, but eats more Kazuma! Eats more! Don't let any food left!"

Megumin forcefully shove a really handful of food to my mouth while shouting that. Yeah, I was sick. But the reason behind my sickness was really weird. I get cursed from last quest, and it's not ordinary curse. Aqua can't dispel it and mage doctor can't cure me, this curse literally accelerates growth of bad bacteria in my body and it exhausted my energy because they keep sucking my mana reserves… I literally feel like Megumin after explosion or one of typhus first sign, not like I know how really that sickness is but it makes you feel limp. Luckily it is only lasted for a week.

"Uhuk… water…"

"Here…"

Aqua is giving me a glass of water meanwhile still eating her portion.

"Gulp~ Fuah~ you almost make me choke Megumin…"

"Sorry about that, but I didn't want you sick any longer… Darkness was too hard, Aqua was too careless, Kazuma is the only one who's carefully picking me up… somehow it makes me comfortable when you carry me."

"How about Yunyun?"

"I don't want to think about that loner"

Megumin is cruel, but I guess she really felt that way since it was third day since I felt sick.

Her daily explosion for last two days accompanied by Aqua and Darkness but none of them making Megumin felt comfortable. She is really like being carried by me huh?

After eating, I want to sleep but my body was limp… damn cursed sickness… I still can move my hand and head but it feels too weak and other part was making me tired if I move.

"Megumin, can you support me to my room?"

"Isn' t that making you more tired Kazuma? How about sleeping on sofa near fireplace?"

"Alright, can you support me there then?"

"Okay, okay… you usually pick me up after explosion, so I guess it kind of paybacks…"

Megumin wrap her neck with my right arm and then try helping me walk to sofa. She just casually and carefully laid me on sofa. Now I felt really sleepy.

"Have a good dream Kazuma."

That was the last thing I heard before falling asleep but after some minute I woke up again because commotion made by my companions.

"Move aside Kazuma! That sofa was my favorite spot!"

"You really did it Aqua! Kazuma is sick, at least allow him to have that spot until he's healthy again!"

"Yeah! Do you have no heart Aqua!? Kazuma right now literally like me after explosion! Now I understand how he had been nicely when I go limp… I don't want you to make him worse than it is!?"

"W-why you two look at me like I'm piece of thrash?"

"Really Aqua? For now it feels more than that."

"You don't have ethic measures? No wonder no one approach Axis cultist."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Can you three shut up! I want to sleep here!"

"Sorry Kazuma! Aqua, Darkness… let's go to guild and searching something that can cure him!"

"Eh, don't wanna… I already have agenda in Axis Church."

"I don't mind accompanying you Megumin, but how about Kazuma?"

"Eh, you right… then you can watch over Kazuma, Darkness… Don't do anything weird to him kay!?"

"A-Alright…"

I watched Aqua and Megumin leave our mansion.

"Finally, I can sleep…"

"Emmm…"

"What Darkness?"

"What I must be doing? Just watching you?"

"You heard what Megumin said right? Try not making me more sick or do anything weird to me… for now, good night!"

"It still noon Kazuma…"

I keep sleeping… maybe some hours? Until I heard some knock on the door.

"Urg… Darkness, can you answer to them?"

Nothing answers me.

"Darkness?"

I open my eyes and greeted with a sleepy crusader.

"Darkness… Oi, wake up…"

She's not moving an inch. Heavy sleeper or my voice was low? If she's not answering the door knock. I guess it only leave me despite my desire to keep asleep.

"Hup… Whoaa… whoaaa… WHOAAAA!"

I feel unsteady… so I walk with my hand holding myself against the wall.

I really felt tired when finally reach the door, I slowly open it. I greeted with Yunyun… dueling with Megumin again?

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And Aqua's crying on her back.

"Ermm… Kazuma, sorry to inform you this while you're still sick… but Aqua racked up another debt by destroying some part of Eris Church with another Axis cultist…"

"Just ask Axis cult… for compensation… not me… How… about… Me… gumin? Do you came… for her now?"

"W-Well not really, but I saw her getting a fight with another adventurer and for now she's in jail and need to get bail out from prison."

"Damn… event when… I sick…"

I collapsed, face planted.

"KAZUMA!?"

"AH!? I WAKE UP!? WHAT IS HAPPENED TO KAZUMA!?"

Oh great… when I passed out, Darkness wake up from her deep sleep. Oh well, my vision was blurry so I guess it's time went back to sleep. I was sure other will bring me to sofa or bed in this situation.

Kazuma's Sick Day

By: Humbert Humbert

"I'm surprised Kazuma actually wants to do a quest for once."

Darkness said, as we hiked up a hill to reach the breeding grounds of the monsters we were hunting.

"Yeah. It's kind of suspicious…"

Aqua squinted her eyes at me as she doubted my intentions.

"This is a rare moment, so let's not discourage him."

Megumin had a gentle smile as she tried to get the others to stop bothering me.

"I'm a proper adventurer, after all. Even I have the itch to go on a quest."

"I see… Sorry for doubting you, Kazuma."

I was lying, of course.

The targets for this quest were a species of mushroom-type monsters called Funghouls.

They didn't have high attack stats, but they had the ability to inflict fast-acting, minor illnesses to their enemies by releasing infectious spores.

I had an ulterior motive for wanting to fight these guys.

I felt like my party didn't treat me as well as they should. For once, I wanted to be appreciated by my party.

When I heard about the defensive abilities of Funghouls, I got an idea.

I would get myself sick on purpose. Then, these girls who normally treated me so coldly would have no choice but to nurse me back to help.

With this plan in mind…

"Eh? Kazuma? Wait up!"

"Oraaa!"

I sprinted up the hill, Chomusuke in hand, and charged into the Funghoul colony…!

"Cough, cough. Hey, can someone give me some water?"

Laying in bed, sick, I asked my trusted companions to take care of my basic needs.

"Here's your water, Kazuma. Say ah~! Create Water!"

"What the…?! Oi! Cough, cough…!"

"Make sure to drink it up if you want that cough to get better!"

"I'm not coughing, I'm choking! Cough, cough! Why are you using [Create Water] instead of just giving me a glass of water?!"

I coughed out the water Aqua streamed into my mouth using water magic.

Ever since I got sick after fighting those Funghouls, my party promised to take care of my every need until I recovered.

However, their attitude changed once the doctor declared that the disease, while not serious, was highly infectious. After hearing this, they started practicing social distancing around me.

"I'm really, really thirsty! I'll die of dehydration! Someone give me water already! Have mercy!"

Megumin appeared after I started hollering for help.

"I want to help you, Kazuma, but Crimson Demons have only one weakness and that is disease."

"Even non-Crimson Demons are susceptible to disease. Just toss a waterskin my way if you don't want to go inside! Please! My lips are starting to bleed!"

"Fine. I guess I can do that much."

She went away and returned a few moments later. She tossed the waterskin my way, but she put too much force into the toss and it hit me on the face.

"Ow!"

"S-Sorry, Kazuma…"

"Is this how you girls treat a sick person? How cruel! I thought you girls would treat me like a king if I got sick!"

I said something I shouldn't have. The perceptive Megumin didn't fail to catch on to what I said. She narrowed her eyes at me. I looked away from her scrutinous gaze.

"Surely, Kazuma didn't get sick on purpose because you wanted us to give you lots of attention and care, right? Kazuma wouldn't do such a reckless and selfish thing, right?"

"O-Of course not! Don't be silly, Megumin. Do I really seem like the type of man who would do such a thing?!"

"Yes." x 2.

Both Aqua and Megumin didn't hesitate to answer. They were both glaring at me.

"Come to think of it, it was odd for Kazuma to want to go on a quest, being the lazy NEET he is."

"Not only that, he's normally a coward who lets girls like us do all the fighting for him, yet he charged straight into that Funghoul colony despite knowing about their ability to spread disease."

I started sweating, and it wasn't due to the fever.

"Kazuma, you have a fever, so you should bundle up. Here, I'll wrap you up in ten layers of blankets."

"Kazuma, we should take your temperature. No, not with your mouth. Let's use the other hole."

"Aqua, that reminds me, I heard that stuffing green onions up a sick person's 'other hole' can help speed up their recovery. Let's try it."

"Nooooo!"

After finding out about my ruse, they proceeded to torture me.

Thankfully, once they got bored of messing with me, they left me alone.

"Ugh… This is hell… Kill me now."

Again, I said something I shouldn't have.

"Y-You look like you're having a really bad time there, Kazuma. Hehe…"

Darkness watched me from the doorway with a look of longing in her eyes.

"C-Calm down there, Darkness. What are you planning? If you get any closer, you'll get sick?!"

Darkness ignored my warnings and kept drawing closer. In fact, my warnings only encouraged her to keep going.

"If I get sick, will I be treated like that?!"

"You're already sick in a lot of ways, Darkness. Now, have some common sense for once in your life and stay away!"

She kept drawing closer, ignoring my warnings.

"I-I heard that the best way to recover from an illness is to transfer it to someone else. I'll sacrifice my body for you, Kazuma!"

She climbed onto the bed and straddled me, sitting on my lap. She was blushing and breathing down on me.

This would have been pretty erotic in a different circumstance.

"W-Wait, Darkness… Owww! Get off me! You're crushing me! You're too heavy!"

"I-I'm not heavy! Take that back!"

She only tightened her grip around me after I insulted her.

"Owwwww!"

The symptoms faded away after a day of rest.

Despite Darkness's best efforts, she didn't get sick, likely due to her high constitution.

A/N: Thank you to BoringBone for organizing this contest and for creating a discord server for Konosuba Fanfiction enthusiasts. Congratulations to the winner!

Long term memory loss counts, right?

By: AquaisUseless

Mom, dad, your son who never goes outside has been abducted and tied to a chair for torture.

"You...don't remember us?" The blue haired girl said.

….by 3 crazy women.

"As I am saying for the 10th time, no, I don't, and I am not lying to get out of any kind of trouble." I replied to her.

It was a normal day. I had gone outside for the first time in a week to buy a game that had recently been released. It was a limited release so I got up early in the morning for a bus to Akihabara. After I went to sleep because of sleep deprivation from 3 consecutive all-nighters, I woke up here, in a room that I have never seen, tied to a chair. It would be very nice of you to call the police or something.

"...The bell didn't ring, he really doesn't remember us." The blonde woman said while looking at some kind of black and white bell she was pretending to be a magic item. I need to add delusional on the ever growing list of non-positive traits these women have.

"Kazuma, did you lose your memory?" The girl with the Red eyes said.

"First of all, no. Second, even if I did, I wouldn't remember it! If you are kidnapping and torturing someone, at least be smart!"

"He seems like the old Kazuma….Very convenient that he got a memory erasing virus the exact time he did something bad."

….a...memory erasing virus?

"It eats away at your memories, until you are barely a toddler stuck to a body, good thing that he healed before it got too bad."

...What?

"Hmph! He would have deserved it!"

"I deserved what?! I haven't done anything! You were the one who kidnapped me out of a bus!"

"A bus? What's that?"

…..

How did they have enough brain cells to open a door?!

"Ah, you guys don't know, a bus is like that car thing we told you about but for more people." The blue haired girl said. She seemed smarter than the other girls. At least she knew what a bus is.

"After I woke up here, I felt sore, then you beat me again, you are the real villains here!"

"The guts in this man….Calling us villains after what he did." The red haired girl said.

"I didn't do anything!"

"What you did was so bad that even Darkness, who likes getting hit more than hitting beat you up." Stupid, deranged, kidnapper, masochist….

"Well then, why don't you tell me what I did?!"

"Y-Y-Yo-Ah! It is so terrible I can't even say it!"

"Stop lying! I'll report you to the police!"

"The law won't help you here! What we did was reasonable punishment!"

"Just tell me what I have done! You are not making any sense you brain deficient women!"

"Brain deficient….?" the blonde girl blushed.

"Darkness! Don't forget what he did! Don't get deceived by his words!"

"Ye-Yes! You can't deceive me!"

"I was not deceiving you!" They really are helpless.

"If you want to know what you have done, then take this! [Sacred Highness Heal]!" The blue haired girl pointed her hand towards me and shouted something weird.

Then, a light ball came out of her hands and shot towards me.

I screamed and tried to get out of the way, but being tied to a chair didn't help with that.

The energy beam hit me.

Suddenly, I felt a lot more refreshed, and as if all my bruises had went away, had she actually he-

The pain struck.

All the memories I had forgotten were coming back to me at once, and that didn't feel good for my head. I felt as if my head was going to explode, I screamed and squirmed, trying to get the ropes out.

"...How enviable….Aqua, what is happening?" The blonde haired girl-Darkness said.

Enviable?!

"He is getting all of his memories back, that hurts a little, he should be fine."

A little?! I felt like dying! Is that a little?! Aqua, I am going to take your wine after this!

Huh? Aqua? Oh, yeah, Aqua!

The memories filled themselves in chronologically, the first thing I remembered was dying to a truc-tract-shock. And then meeting a beati-useless goddess.

She then offered me...conned me to go to a different video game-like world. A decision which I truly regret. First of all, Aqua was not a goddess, she was a moron! A jinx! A toddler! In Retrospect, I should have not chosen her, it was out of pure spite.

We then met our other party members, Megumin and Darkness who were equally as useless.

A lot of emotions went through my head, regret, happiness, anger, exasperation, happiness, and a quite a few other emotions.

Did I really call Aqua the smartest girl?

Eventually, I got to yesterday.

The only emotion I felt was remorse.

We had just defeated the Demon King, and we were celebrating in the mansion. I remembered the reason why I was in this situation.

Mom, dad, please ignore what I said earlier, these women are innocent.

After all, what kind of person does that?

I deservedly got beat down for about another 5-6 hours.

Author's note (AquaIsUseless): The contest version of this sucked more than it currently sucks, so I wasn't able to win. But it was still pretty fun! Thanks BB for organizing the event. And Congratulations to Xenthur (Meyahviing).

As for the plugging, I am currently in progress on a KonosubaXUndertale crossover, so I would be happy if you checked that out. "God's blessings on this wonderful Underworld".

From Now on, I'll be Nice to Aqua.

By: Uranophane

"Aqua, my beautiful heroine, how are you today? Mind casting a heal on me?"

"Zzz...Mr. Satou 'loliNEET' Kazuma, huh? Why are you in my room so early in the morning? Are you trying to sweet talk me again? A goddess isn't that easily won over, you know-"

I can't believe I'm having to do this.

An adventurer.

The best adventurer in town.

Bowing his head to Aqua, of all people.

"Oh, I am not worthy of you, my dear usel-uh, goddess. Please, I merely wish to feel your amazing healing abilities to start my day off. I've finally decided to make up for my past errors and go complete the hardest quest today!"

"Oi, you're not possessed, are you? I ought to be using [turn undead] instead of heal. My services aren't free, you know? Go join the Axis cult and I might consider it…"

I could not clench my fist any tighter.

What kind of healer makes demands in exchange for doing their basic job?

"Haha! You're so funny, Aqua. If you heal me now, I'll help you grind your character to max level!"

…

"Aqua?"

"Zzz"

She's fallen back to sleep.

"Damn it all-!"

Allow me to explain what happened.

I, like all men, frequent the succubus cafe.

Up until now, I've been using that loli succubus' services because she fit my needs most.

Though the recent advances by Darkness had inspired me to do some exploration…

Last night, I changed my order up and asked for a more experienced, bigger succubus.

-and woke up to an aching lower half.

I don't even remember what dream I had…! I thought it would go away in a moment, but I can't even do my morning pee without moaning in pain!

And just when I needed her help the most, Aqua decided to be a child.

"Good morning, Kazuma… I'm surprised to see you up this early. Ready to do the morning explosions? I think I want to do three this time."

Ahh…

Crap, she's blushing! I got her hopes up!

"Ah, Megumin-san! I would love to go on an explosion walk right now, but you see, I have a little issue right now…"

Should I tell her?

Would she even be able to help?

Her affection points are high right now, so she would definitely be empathetic… Although-

-She must never find out how I got it hurt.

Besides, while girls all say size doesn't matter, I must avoid letting her see the true power of Great Sword Excalibur until the time is right.

"Issue? Don't worry Kazuma, as your teammates, we're always here to help!"

"No no no, it's really not a big deal. I accidentally strained my back yesterday, so I'm afraid I won't be able to carry you. Why not go with Darkness later? I'll be witnessing your explosions from home!"

"Oooh, I see, I see! Well, if it's such a minor injury, you should go back to bed and rest. Leave everything else to us!"

Megumin pridefully flared her cape.

A great mother figure indeed.

I guess I will go back to bed. Who needs Aqua, anyway?

There's a saying. With great suffering, comes great reward.

Although my junk is hurting, I can get serviced by a cute girl who will soon be my wife.

It's the little things in life-

"Kazuma! Don't worry, we're here to help!"

…!?

"I heard you're having trouble with your back. As a crusader, I've learned many ways to mitigate bodily injury! Please accept a massage therapy from this clumsy noble!"

Darkness!? Why is she so enthusiastic!?

Is she seeing this as an opportunity to get more skinship with me!?

"Oi oi! You've already taken my first kiss, are you trying to take more of my first times!?"

Crap, she's already on my bed…!

"First of all, you need to turn over so I can reach your back…"

…!

"AAAAAAaaaaa-!"

My poor baby! It's getting crushed against the bed!

"D-did that hurt? I'm so sorry! Hmm, it seems like the problem is bigger and deeper than I thought."

When I said "service", I didn't think…!

"Well then. Off with your shirt. Let's start with your lower back. There we go… Hmmm, firm yet slightly fat. Let's make sure none of those disks are bulging…"

"Aaaah! Aaah! Ooooaaahhh-!"

She's pushing my pelvis down so hard…!

"D-does that feel good? Is Kazuma-san excited? C-consider this an apology for taking your first… Now, please raise your right leg like so-"

Now she's crushing it between my own legs!

"Ahh! No, don't bend my legs! My hips were hurt, too!"

"Your hips also hurt? Kazuma… You must have worked so hard yesterday… Well, to massage your hips, I'll have to take off your pants as well-"

Oh no, this looks exactly like the beginning of an adult video! If only I wasn't hurt…

"Darkness! What are you doing with his pants!? I called you here to massage him, not commit adultery!"

Thank you, Megumin!

"Ah, I'm sorry! Kazuma said his hips hurt, so I got carried away…"

"I knew I shouldn't have let you two be alone in a room; Ero-ness would definitely try something indecent… Anyways, um, I just wanted to try a technique my mom taught me. She said to do this when a man is not feeling well."

Oooh?

Here's where the fun part starts!

"Ah, Megumin-san… You're such a good person! You're still young, so don't exert yourself too much, alright?"

"Darkness, please leave this room and lock the door, will you?"

Seemingly scared of Megumin, Darkness immediately complied.

It's finally happening!

I closed my eyes to fully enjoy the experience-

…

I felt a slight wetness on my back.

Warm, but wet and… slimy.

"Oi, Megumin, what's that smell? Did you forget to brush your teeth?"

"My mom taught me to apply onion duck droppings on muscle wounds; it's a Crimson Demon secret technique. The only downside is its pungent smell, which I'm used to."

…!?

In the end, I paid Cecily to heal me.