I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing these characters for a bit. Warnings: language, talk of suicide (in later chapters).

When Arthur, son of Uther, steps into the party he wasn't invited to, silence ripples from the front of the room to the back. The son of the man whose corporation regularly donates to anti-magic organizations is not welcome at a party full of sorcery. Nevermind the fact that Arthur had ripped out Merlin's heart five years previously.

"How dare you come here, Arthur Pendragon!" Morgana says, her voice thick with malice, as she marches to where he stands on the threshold. Her hand is poised to strike and Arthur flinches, ready for the blow. It is Merlin who stays her hand and Morgana stares at him dumbfounded.

"Please, don't," Merlin says, looking at her. Some unknown communication passes between them and she reluctantly lets her arm fall to her side.

"I-erm" Arthur tries to stumble out a few words, but he is caught in the magnificence of Merlin. He still looks remarkably the same despite the passing of five years, just more refined. He's dressed in his signature black: black skinny jeans and a t-shirt with black boots. He wears a dark purple velvet blazer with dragons emblazoned in silver on it. His cheekbones are still so sharp, Arthur could cut himself on them. And oh, how much he would love to. Arthur has made speeches and presentations at board meetings and in front of hundreds of people. He could face down an army and still find his voice. Yet it is Merlin that leaves him speechless, makes him dumb. "M-" The words die on his lips.

"Please, leave," Merlin says, careful to keep his voice crisp, and Arthur obeys.

"Merlin, are you alright?" Gwen puts a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Merlin sighs. "Yeah, I am." He even manages a weak smile.

Gwen gives him her "mom" look as everyone calls it. She knows he's lying.

He refuses to break here on the balcony of Morgana's flat. "I need time to process it and then I'll talk." He's hoping everyone will forget about it in a week's time.

"I'm not going to forget," Gwen says.

Damn, she knows me too well, Merlin thinks. He gives a genuine laugh and some of the tension eases out of his shoulders. "I should check on Morgana. She'll be upset."

"I'll come too."

When they find Morgana she is in her big four poster bed, being comforted by Leon. Her eyes are red rimmed from crying.

"Have all the guests gone?"

"Yes," Merlin reassures her. "Gwen and Lance took care of it."

Gwen sits down and squeezes Morgana's hand. They all pile into the ginormous bed.

"Merlin, I'm sorry. I don't know how Arthur got my address."

"It's fine. He's Arthur Pendragon, I'm sure he has a lot of reach."

"I can't believe he would dare show his face here. After everything that happened… You should've let me turn him into a donkey!"

They all laugh. Merlin laughs the hardest of all. "Being turned into an actual ass would suit him well."

A couple of hours later, Merlin finds himself home alone. He collapses into his bed and sobs into the stuffed dragon Lancelot won for him at a carnival a couple of years back. Even though it's been five years, seeing Arthur brings back all the pain. He's been telling himself that he's over Arthur. But the truth is he never was and that truth is a hard burden to bear.

He wishes he could punch the prat. Maybe that would help! Maybe then he could move on.

Arthur is in his own flat, staring at the walls. The flat looks more like one of those show houses instead of someone's home. The only decoration is a picture of Arthur and Sophia; and it's only out because she gave it to him and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. He's supposed to be at work in an hour, but doesn't think he can face it. Not today… not after. He hasn't slept a wink.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

He was supposed to go to Morgana's flat and apologize to her and Merlin. Arthur wasn't expecting to be welcomed back with open arms, but he thought he'd at least have a chance to get a word in edgewise. He'd thought he could sow the seeds of forgiveness at least.

His phone starts to buzz and he glances over. It's his father, wondering why he wasn't at a meeting. Arthur flops back onto his bed. He'll send him a text later, tell him he had food poisoning. He can't face the world today.

Five Years Earlier:

"I can't do this."

"Ok, fine we don't have to have baked ziti for dinner. We can have something else." Merlin is pushing the shopping cart. They've just left the grocery store after their weekly shopping trip.

"Us. I can't do this anymore."

The shopping cart comes to a stop. "What? Are you breaking up with me over baked ziti?" Merlin manages a weak laugh, thinking that Arthur is joking.

"No. I… I just can't be with you anymore."

"Arthur, I don't understand." Merlin's face scrunches up in confusion.

"I'm sorry, it's over." Arthur walks away, gets in his car, and drives off.