FrUk

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia! All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.

I wrote this while I was kinda high, expect this to be half crack half serious.

And the translations of Spanish and English are from me, since I'm fluent. German are also written and translated by me, with help from my trusty notebook. The others are just google translate. (and if your my French teacher, I am so sorry, I didn't study)

-Language chart-

Scott Gaelic-SG

French-F

Welsh-W

Spanish-S

German-G

England wanted to have a drink, y'know, some beer, maybe whiskey... It has been long since he had a drink, and this time he will only have ONE, just one, last time, it was a bit chaotic, he just ask if he was Catholic or Protestant and said some gibberish, but nonetheless confusing the fuck out of America.

"Hey England! Wanna join for a drink with THE AWESOME PRUSSIA?!" The awesomest nation ask England.

"Sure, I would love to go for a drink." England responded and left, he had to talk to America.

"The plan worked! France, Spain, come out now!" Prussia exclaimed happily. "The awesome me made it work! Kesesese!"

"We will see how he speaks French, I can't believe he forgot such a magnifique language!" France said maliciously. "Their motto was in French until 1707!"

The bad touch trio were ready to embarrass that jerk England.

"So, another beer for all four of you?"

"Yes, thanks!"

"You are already very drunk England."

"Noooooo... I'm noot druunkk, waaccha meaann?" England slurred, he DEFINITELY was drunk.

"How can we trigger his 'French side' that you talking about?" Spain asked, he really wanted to see it.

"Oh, you'll see." France smirked, "Angleterre, tu es vraiment ivre?" (England, are you really that drunk?-F)

"Chan eil, tha mi gu math ceart..." (No, I'm totally fine-SG) England leaned on the table.

The trio looked at each other with confusion.

"You sure that it will work?" Prussia asked suspiciously, "It doesn't seem like it has enough awesomeness."

"Let's go with my plan!" Spain was overly enthusiastic about this. "England, speak French."

"That... won't work!" France and Prussia shouted at the same time.

"Na, ni wnaf." (No, I won't-W) England was getting even more drunk. "Mae'n gas gen i Ffrangeg, mae'n swnio'n rhyfedd iawn, bron fel ei fod wedi anghofio bod hanner y gair yn bodoli." (I hate French, it sounds very weird, almost like it they forgot that half of the word existed-W)

"Is that even English? Or is that gibberish?" Prussia asked in confusion.

France sighed. "That, was welsh, I remember his brother speaking in that weird language."

They are determinant to make him speak French, even if it means the whole night.

"Prussia's awesome plan will work! Ok, so England."

"Hngg?"

"Wie geht is dir?" (How are you?-G)

"Sehr gut, Ich liebe bier." (Very good, I love beer-G)

"YOU SPEAK GERMAN?!"

"Ja..."

"WHAT?" The Frenchman was getting irritated, how can he remember all these languages but not the language that he grew up speaking?!

"I don't think he knows how to speak French..." Spain came to a conclusion. "He's too drunk to even speak."

"¡Hijo de puta! ¡Puedo hablar!" (Son of a bitch! I can speak!-S) England yelled, "Essspañaaaa, ¿de verdad crees que no puedo hablar? ¿Estas loco?" (Spain, do you really think I can't speak? Are you crazy?-S)

"I guess he can speak, just too drunk to make sense of anything."

"Let's just go to my place and try convincing him there, it's almost 2am, I might just fall asleep." France said.

"He's so cute when he is silent." France muttered, "And you two back there, are you guys alright?"

"Sí, I like helping you with your crush!"

"Kesesese! I'm surprised you like him!"

France blushed furiously, he couldn't help but just stare into his emerald green eyes, they were beautiful. And he had to admit that, even though he could be annoying, he was very cute when he was flustered.

"We've arrived."

They arrived at his mansion and pulled England inside, normally he would leave England in the car since he didn't want a certain angry Brit in his house the next day destroying everything in his view, but this time, they were going to finish what they started.

"Prussia! Help me get him upstairs to the guest room!" France yelled, "You two stay in the other guest room."

"France! You and your boyfriend are sleeping together, we are going to sleep in separate rooms, the awesome me is NOT going to share a bed." Prussia yelled back angrily. "You two lovebirds are going to sleep in the same room, whether you like it or not! Me and Gilbird are not going to be with a half drunken unawesome Spaniard!"

"¡Ay Prusia! Don't be like Romano!" Spain protested, "Haven't you slept in the basement for almost 80 years?!"

Prussia whispered back something inaudible.

"You are sure?" Spain asked.

"100%, the awesome me never fails!"

"But what about that time with Canada? You failed-"

"Don't talk about unawesome things in front of me!"

"Ok, just saying, nunca té ha salido bien." (it never went well-S)

"ARE YOU TWO GOING TO HELP?!" France shouted furiously from upstairs, "IF YOU WANT, HE CAN SLEEP WITH YOU."

"We are coming to help!" They replied at the same time.

The trio helped France carry England to the guest room; a small but comfortable little room.

"I'm tired, I think I can sleep for a whole week." France joked, "But seriously, I think we should sleep."

They all agreed and went to bed.

"Kesesese! Gilbird has an awesome idea for Gilbert!" Prussia whispered, loud enough for Spain to wake up.

"¡Prusia! ¡Son las 6 de la mañana!" (Prussia! It's 6 in the morning!-S) Spain said half awake, "Can you just go back to sleep?"

"Spain, sleeping on the floor is not awesome." Prussia stated. "And It's the perfect time to prank Frankreich! We can put our beloved Brit with him!"

"It's too early for that"

"C'mon! It's going to be funny!"

"Both of them are going to kill us."

"They can't defeat the awesome Prussia!"

"Ok, I will help you, but if they find out, I'll put all the blame on you."

"Kesesese~ If that means you are going to help!"

They both got up and sneaked out of the room, then went to England's room and picked him up, he was lighter than they anticipated, they carried him all the way to France's room and left him right next to him.

Thankfully last night they were very tired, so both of them didn't know about their prank.

It was 9am, and France finally woke up.

He felt something warm under his arm and he held it closer, and before he could even realize what it was, it suddenly moved and slapped him.

"YOU BLOODY FROG, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

France was speechless, Spain and Prussia are just one step closer to death.

"So what? You are going to just fucking stare at me?" England asked. "You are such a moron, I bet you failed at doing whatever you wanted to do yesterday."

"How did you know?" France was surprised, but apparently it wasn't hard for the Brit to realize that he wanted to do something.

"I'm more than sure that you wanted me to get drunk and speak French so you can embarrass me during world meetings." England rolled his eyes, "But that doesn't explain why I am in your bed, and why you were trying to cuddle with me, you pervert."

"How do you know all of this?" France was surprised, "Are you an undercover detective?"

"I'm not bloody Sherlock!" England huffed, "What you were trying to do certainly did not work-"

"What can I do for you to say something in French." France sounded way more serious than usual.

"Just don't." England replied, "Just don't ask me to speak in French because you know that it won't work."

"Then what will work?"

"Why would I ever tell you?"

"I thought we were friends!"

"I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH YOU!"

"So what are we? More than friends?" France winked at him, making him blush.

"Wh-what?"

France pulled him closer and whispered in his ears, "Je t'aime." (I love you-F)

"Do you... really mean it?"

"Oui." France's smiled even more.

"I really hate you."

"Quoi?" His smile faded away, tears were forming in his eyes. "Tu me détestes vraiment?" (Do you really hate me?-F)

"Honestly, you're stupid." England leaned forward and kissed him. "Je t'aime aussi, tu as le QI d'une huître!" (I love you too, you have the IQ of a Oyster!-F)

"Et maintenant tu parles en français!" (And now you speak French!) France laughed, "And that Norman accent of yours-"

"Stop making fun of my French accent you frog!" England got a bit annoyed, "Normandy taught it to me."

"No, I think it's very cute having an accent like that." France responded, "And didn't you hate French?"

"No, I think it's a beautiful language."

"What?! You always make fun of me for it!"

"You really have an IQ of a Oyster!" England answered, "There is a reason why 30% of English words come from French!"

England sighed.

"France, it's a beautiful language!"