Happens Once A Month
By:
Lady Lowe
Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution.
AN: All in Remy's POV. Please don't shoot me if I have something wrong. This is also being put into my English Portfolio. I couldn't think of anything else!

Happens Once A Month

So, Remy is jus' sittin' here on de couch when he suddenly gets approached by t'ree filles. Now, Remy's only gettin' accustomed ta de way people aroun' here greet each other. When a person is down at de table ta get somet'in' ta eat, you have t'be careful 'bout de way de forks, spoons, an' knives are goin'. Den when you get down ta de plannin' room, you gotta make sure dat you don' say de wrong t'ing while someone be talkin'.

Like Remy said before, he jus' mindin' his own business when de brown haired girl comes an' sits nex' ta me. Den, de ot'er fille sit on de ot'er side o' Remy. De t'ird une jus' stands in front o' Remy, blockin' de view ta de TV.

I look up at her an' I smile nicely. "Oh, don't start playing that with me," de redhead in front o' me says spiffily. Usually Jean is pretty nice ta Remy. What did Remy do? I on'y smile nicely!

"What?"

"Look, Remy, Rogue's being a bit, like, cranky. We personally think that, like, well, you're the only one that can talk to her…" de one wit' de brown hair starts ta whine. I hate it when girls start ta whine. Got nothin' betta ta do. Remercier Dieu, Rogue don' do dat.

"I just can't stand it anymore! You have to do something about it! She kicked Kitty out of the room, she threw Jean out, she slammed the door on my face, and then she started yelling at Kurt when he teleported in her room!" De girl on my left named Rahne started ta cry. Poor fille. Mon cherie has always been merciless.

"Ok, filles. Remy'll go up dere an' talk ta Rogue. Don' worry 'bout it." I heave myself up f'om de couch an' trudge up de stairs, reachin' de top o' de banister before runnin' inta Kurt, de furry blue young une. Also de one wit' de t'ick German accent.

"Oh, you vetter vatch out, Remy, mein schwester is going crazy!" He teleports downstairs, apparently traumatized. I shake my head at dis, dis femme really outdoin' herself eve'y time.

When I reach towards her door, I see dat Logan is already walkin' de other way, towards me. His claws are out an' when he sees me, he mutters, "Ya better shut Stripes up. I have just abou' had it when she does this. Next month, ya handle her ASAP."

I chuckle ta myself. Merde. I can't wait fo' what she goin'ta have in store fo' Remy. "Chere," I knock on de door. "It's me, Remy."

"Ah know that already, Cajun. Are yah goin' to stand out there like a fool or actually come in?"

I open de door easily, surprised at her lyin' on her bed. "Does it hurt mon cherie dat bad?" Actually, Remy gettin' a bit worried 'bout it now, jus' seein' her lyin' like dat. Her face is pressed agains' de pillow an' I turn her 'round ta face me.

"Boo." She laughs at me. Mon Dieu, she had me dere! She's curled up agains' me an' Remy can feel her laughin'. Laughin' at me because I believed dat she was havin' her cramps again.

"Nice way ta get Remy inta your room, eh, chere?" I smirked at her an' she sat back agains' de wall, bringin' her knees up ta her chin. She smiled dat beautiful smile at me, her lips dat natural color wit'out all de makeup de girl usually wears.

"No, Remy, Ah really am in pain. Ah ran out o' the Midol. Can yah also go to the store and get me some" – she whispered in my ear – "cause Ah ran out o' that, too."

"Ma petite, you askin' a lot f'om Remy." Really, I was gettin' a bit frightened. What woul' de fems say ta Remy when he walks back in wit' a big plastic bag o' –

Mon Dieu, she's doin' de face again. De face I can neve' resist. Dis ain' fair! I bury my head in mon hands an' nod in defeat.

"Thank yah, Remy, thank yah!" She rushes over ta me an' leaves little kisses where our skin don' touch. Condamner her power. "Ah really need it. Now." An' den mon amour boots me out de door! She mus' really dink dat she got Remy tied 'round her finger.

Le condamner! She does have Remy tied 'round her finger.

Ah, de t'ings dat men do for love. So, Remy walks out ta de garage an' grabs his bike. I'm goin' my way nicely ta de store an' when I get dere, I go ta dat aisle and pick out de –

"Remy! How are ya doin', mate?" St. John's standin' in dis aisle wit' me, his eyebrows raised. I sigh, knowin' dat he likely goin'ta start askin' his questions, so I cut him off.

"Remy doin' well at the mansion. Vous et Piotr?" I pluck it f'om where it is an' den start goin' towards de register. Non, I'm wastin' my time so dat I can go an' get somet'in' else fo' Rogue, but I don' wan' St. John ta start sayin' somet'in'.

"Mighty fine. Well, I'll see ya later, bloke. Don't get into too much trouble!" He winked at me as if he knew what I was doin'. He lucky dat I had my hands full o' else he woul' have had some trouble walkin' out dat door.

I make a detour and den pick out anot'a t'ing fo' Rogue. She might t'ank me. When I place it on de counter, a pretty fille wit' a raised eyebrow raises it even more.

"Girlfriend?"

"Oui."

"Ah." She nodded understandingly. "Good luck!"

I wave back at her before kickin' de t'rottle o' Remy's bike. When I get ta de mansion, I park my bike, run up de stairs, pick Rogue up, an' carry her down. I make my way ta de livin' room where I was before an' give her de bags.

"Did yah get it, Remy? Yah goin'ta make a fine husband," she winked at me. Idiotically, I blush before comin' back wit' de Cajun charm.

"I better be your husban' fo' all de t'ings you make Remy do. No one else goin'ta put up wit' dis." Naturally, she's not listenin' ta Remy anyway. She rummages t'rough de bag, lookin' at one o' dem an' sayin' some nice choice words before gettin' ta de ot'er bag.

"Remy, yah got it! Ah love yah, Ah love yah, Ah love yah so much yah swamp rat!" She squeals like a little girl when she picks up Chicago and Lord of the Rings and The Matrix. She made me rush out ta get de movies along wit' some o' her favorite ice cream.

"I love you too, mon cherie2. An' none o' your crazy t'ings goin'ta change dat, river rat." She narrows her eyes at me an' puts dat cute little pout face before snugglin' in my arms wit' de ice cream an' spoons.

Basically, dat's how today ends fo' Remy. Rogue, mon amour, is in my arms, slurpin' delightfully at her ice cream fo' all t'ree o' her movies. An' I'm jus' sittin' here, her self-appointed pillow.

Happens every month, once a week.