Willy Wonka's Inventing Room

September 16, 2003

Wonka stood by a giant gum machine, tapping several dials and watching with a concentrated face. "Come on, come on…" he said to himself.

A nearby Oompa-Loompa heard him and came over out of curiosity. "What's going on, boss?"

"Well," Wonka replied, still focusing on a little window by the side of the machine, "I came up with a new idea last week, and, with all the free time I have today, I decided to see if it would finally work in the gum machine we already have—remember, from that failed gum we tried to make last year that would have turned into edible gummi animals after chewing?"

The Oompa-Loompa, named Kunga, nodded. "I remember, all right. Too bad, too; that would have amassed us a new record of selling had the gum actually morphed! So what's this great idea?"

Wonka turned to Kunga. "While I was doing a test in the Television Chocolate Room sometime this past week, the channel where some of us were trying to send a chocolate bar just happened to be tuned to the news, and there was a breaking report of a famine outbreak in Somalia. Just then, I had an epiphany. It's sad enough that some people can never afford the opportunity to try our products, but famine? That's even worse; you can't eat at all! So, I had an idea. Ordinary gum is sold very cheaply, so I figured that if I could somehow mass distribute actual meals in affordable sticks of gum, it could solve world hunger. Heck, some rich families might enjoy a break from cooking dinner now and then!" Suddenly, a loud alarm rang within the machine. Startled, Wonka turned back to it. "Oh, I hope I didn't just clog the machinery!"

Kunga remembered when he and his tribe went through annual bouts of hunger in Loompaland. All they could eat during those times were mashed caterpillars and occasional seeds. It was terrible. Upon hearing Wonka's idea, he smiled and his eyes glistened, although the latter was hidden by his goggles. "So, how does it work?"

It took a moment for Wonka to answer, as he was busy checking around the machine to find the source of the problem. He finally found it at the entrance, where he shut off one of the filters and stopped the alarm. Once finished, Wonka turned back to Kunga. "In the opening on top where we used to pour in extra sugar, Swedish fish, gummi candies, and artificial flavoring for that other gum, I poured in some random, ordinary food that was left over from the breakfast suite upstairs. Unfortunately, I think I've clogged the filters doing that; I guess I'll have to try later after mashing up the courses. Anyway, as you chew the gum, it should go from the appetizer, to the main course, to the dessert. And, since there is actual food in there, the gum produces the courses while being chewed, so it's not just flavoring, it's an actual meal! You're really eating!"

Kunga grinned. "Is it okay if I tell the others?" he asked.

Wonka smiled back with an even wider grin. "Absolutely! After all, there's no chance of any of you being rival spies, now, is there?"

Kunga bowed. "Thank you, boss! I'll catch you later." He walked off to help another Oompa-Loompa with a different machine.

...

About six hours later, Kunga came back with several other Oompa-Loompas. Wonka had gone back to working on the machine as soon as lunch ended. "Oh, good to see you again, Kunga!" he greeted after turning to see the group. "I've tried mashing the food into pulp this time to bypass the sugar filters, so I think I've finally got it!"

"That's good!" replied another Oompa-Loompa. "Kunga told us about your brilliant idea a few hours ago, and we're really eager to see it carried out!"

No sooner had he said this than when a little mechanical arm extended from the machine. The mechanical arm kept unfolding until a long, flat strip of gum was dispensed. Wonka pulled it out to show everybody.

"So what's in this one?" someone in the small cluster asked.

"Well, I figured I'd take a little more from lunch than I could possibly eat, just so I could use the leftovers for the gum machine. The meal suite just happened to have baked potatoes, vanilla ice cream, tomato soup, blueberry pie, roast beef, and butter on hand today, so I just took the lot and arranged it to make whatever course order seemed the most logical. I plan on creating other meals with different foods, but this is just a prototype. The tomato soup is the appetizer, I combined the roast beef, baked potato, and butter for the main course, and the dessert is the blueberry pie with the vanilla ice cream."

All of the Oompa-Loompas present were impressed. "Could I test it out?" asked Kunga.

Wonka gave him a concerned look. "Are you sure nothing bad is going to happen? You know what happened to your little friend Garimbo when he tested my hair toffee!"

"Yes, and that was unfortunate, but that candy was actually MEANT to stimulate a bodily response. Trying to trim excess hair like he now has to is annoying, sure, but not dangerous. Besides, this candy isn't meant to respond quite like that, so I figure the worst case would be that it just wouldn't work; you know, like those Everlasting Gobstoppers that wound up shrinking the first few tests. Nothing going on with the tester."

Wonka considered this for a moment. Still looking very uncertain, he kneeled down and handed over the strip. Kunga took it. It was about twice the size of his hand. "Thanks. If anything bad happens, it'll be on me. Testing this was my idea."

Still kneeling towards him, Wonka giggled. "Well, if it's really gross, feel free to throw up in my hat!" he joked, gripping the brim. "Better than having to disinfect the entire floor!"

"I'll let you know!" Kunga winked back, although his wink was hidden by his goggles. He folded the gum into fourths so it would fit in his mouth.

"Oh, and also," Wonka added, standing back up, "could you let all of us know exactly how each course tastes? I need to know if they're optimal for mass production, and if the courses are actually distinct without blending."

"Okay." Kunga shoved the folded gum into his mouth. He chewed for a moment, his face scrunching up in displeasure.

"How bad is it?" one of the other Oompa-Loompas asked.

"It tastes like cardboard!" he replied. "No flavoring at all…Wait! Never mind! NOW I taste the soup! Wow! It's so warm and delicious! It feels like I'm actually swallowing it!"

"Mental note: work on the very first few chews to fix that 'cardboard taste' problem." Wonka said quietly to himself.

"How good is it, on a scale of one to ten?" asked another companion.

"At least a 9!" Kunga called out, still chewing. "WHERE was this stuff in Loompaland?!"

"It's not too hot, is it?" asked Wonka. "I'd hate for anyone to burn their tongue."

"No, it's the right temperature! Right off the stove...Oh, now it's changing! I can taste a bit of roast beef. The gum is alternating between the beef and the potato."

"Can you taste the butter, too?" Wonka asked him.

"Yes, and it's in just the potato."

"Good!"

Another Oompa-Loompa in the small group spoke up. "Which is better, this course or the tomato soup?"

"The tomato soup, by a long shot." answered Kunga. "But this is good, too. Just the right amount of tenderness."

Everyone, including Wonka, was now grinning. So far, this looked like a success. One of the Oompa-Loompas even crossed her arms, clearly jealous that Kunga was enjoying this chewing gum meal and she wasn't.

"I can feel the dessert coming now…" Kunga continued. "…Yes, this blueberry pie is perfect! I can tell that the vanilla ice cream is on top of the crust, too! This is by far much better than the other two courses! I love this!"

Everybody flinched. Kunga expected the other Oompa-Loompas and Wonka to ask for more feedback, but it didn't come. Instead, they just gave him funny looks.

"Oh, dear." Wonka remarked, his eyes widening.

"What's up with his nose? There's this weird spot on it!" an Oompa-Loompa asked.

"Why? What's going on?" Kunga asked in reply. He was still chewing and eating the pie.

"Kunga, Jholandi is right!" Wonka told him. "It looks like your nose is turning blue!"

Another Oompa-Loompa pointed. "It's not just his nose. Look at his cheeks!"

This started a panicked chatter ruckus amongst the group. "His forehead is joining in!" "What IS that stuff?!" "Is it going to color his whole body?"

Kunga's whole face was blue, and the color was traveling down his neck. Even his black hair was changing color gradually, although not as noticeably due to its jet shade.

"Can you spit it out?" Wonka asked him.

Kunga was now looking concerned as well. "N-n-no." he stuttered. "There's too much pie! My mouth won't let me stop chewing! When is this juice flow going to stop?!"

Wonka was about ready to panic. "How long have you been on dessert?"

"About three minutes."

"Second mental note: put in less juice! We don't want THIS!" Wonka said to himself.

The blue color was now tinting Kunga's hands. He saw his right one and examined it in shock. Although his goggles were hiding his eyes, his pupils were clearly widened. His mouth would have flown open had it not been busy with the gum.

"All it's doing is turning you blue, right?" Wonka asked, completely worried. He was trying to be reassured from the unexpected bodily reaction.

"Yeah, I can't feel anything wrong with me physically." As Kunga said this, his skin and hair were completely blue.

"Well, it looks like the gum is finished." an Oompa-Loompa said.

A gurgle was audible within the small group. Kunga clutched his stomach, with both of his hands. "Forget what I just said, guys." he told them. "I feel sick!"

His stomach pushed forwards a little bit. His entire torso now looked plumper than before. Feeling this, Kunga put both of his arms down to look. Even though his black factory jumpsuit wasn't part of his body, the jumpsuit was still turning blue, just like his skin. (This blue, however, was so dark it wasn't as noticeable, just like on his hair.) His goggles were clouding up with the same blue fluid and making it harder to see out of them. Kunga could feel liquid coming out of his pores and dying his uniform. He figured this was probably left over from the blue skin, but he couldn't figure out why he felt sick to his stomach.

Wonka and the others just stood there, mouths agape in shock. "You said you feel sick." Wonka remarked. "Do you need my hat?" He was ready to remove it.

"Maybe." Kunga groaned. Just then, his rear end began to swell. To human eyes, it was barely noticeable on his tiny body, but both cheeks had still tripled in size. He turned around in shock, then turned back to the other Oompa-Loompas and Wonka. "What's happening to me?!" He was about ready to scream from the surprise.

"I-I don't know." Wonka stuttered, all traces of delight completely gone. "I thought all the gum was doing was turning you blue, and then it would stop."

Kunga's midsection was wider now as well. His stomach was a full seven inches in front of him, and his legs were three times as thick as before. His jumpsuit, being a one-piece and therefore unable to separate, began straining at the sides.

"Are you SURE you can't spit out that gum?" Wonka asked, his heart racing.

"I can't!" Kunga managed to call out. "I told you, there's too much juice in this pie!"

"Does this feel like liquid or air inside you?" an Oompa-Loompa called out. They were all panicking, too.

"Liquid. It's almost like…like…MMPH!" His cheeks were now filled out like a chipmunk's, rendering any more speech impossible. He moved and touched his hands over the top of his still-growing torso while he still could.

"He's starting to look like a blueberry!" an Oompa-Loompa blurted out suddenly.

"Blueberry…" Wonka pondered to himself. Suddenly, he put two and two together. "Aha! The last course—with blueberries—had something wrong with it. Kunga said it feels like juice. He's actually filling up with the juice and becoming a blueberry!"

Wonka spoke up to the group. "Kunga, I think I have it figured out. You're swelling up with blueberry juice, and it's turning you into this blueberry creature!"

Everyone else thought about this for a moment and agreed. Kunga had no time to process it because his body had just turned completely round and pulled his appendages and head into divots. He was now four and a half feet tall (massive for their standards) and three feet wide, a perfect sphere. His shiny Inventing Room uniform held nevertheless, although it was clearly taxed around the middle. Finally, everybody noticed his growth stopping.

Wonka and the Oompa-Loompas stepped forward. "I'm terribly sorry." Wonka apologized to Kunga. "I thought the worst case would be the gum either not working or tasting really gross."

"What are we going to do to help him?" one of the Oompa-Loompas asked.

"I'm not sure." answered Wonka. "I have no idea how to get fluid out of a person's body to THIS extent. For all we know, this juice could be in every cavity."

"Well, you said he was becoming a blueberry, right?" asked a different Oompa-Loompa.

"For all intents and purposes, yes." said Wonka. "Going by what Kunga was describing."

"Well, what do you do to put fruit flavoring in your gum and hard candy?" the same Oompa-Loompa continued.

"I drain the fruits in separate machines in the Juicing Room and use the extracted juice to add to the other ingredients, why?"

"But you get the juice out that way, right?"

"Yes…Oh, I see what you're saying!" Wonka realized, snapping his fingers. His face fell after a moment. "But I don't want to risk rupturing him or squeezing out all his innards."

"I think he still has his organs." the Oompa-Loompa continued. "After all, his head, hands, and feet are still there. Just turn the machine to the lowest setting. It's all I can think of to fix this." Everyone else in the group agreed and nodded.

Wonka stepped even more closely to Kunga and looked down at his facial divot. (Now that Kunga was the height of a grade-schooler, Wonka didn't have to lean down to talk.) "Kunga, can you still hear me?"

Kunga made a muffled noise that Wonka interpreted as a yes.

"We have an idea. We're going to take you straight to the Juicing Room to see if we can revert you. I'm a little nervous about it, but it's a necessary risk." He then turned to the small group of Oompa-Loompas. "Could one of you please call for the boat on the chocolate river?"

...

Once the boat arrived, Wonka and the six Oompa-Loompas in the crowd rolled Kunga very carefully towards the doorway and onto the boat. The six Oompa-Loompas opted to go back to their work, but Wonka decided to accompany him all the way to the room.

Once there, Kunga was rolled into the center of the gentlest machine in the room, set over a basin to collect juice from the normal fruits. Wonka explained to the Oompa-Loompa running the juicing machine what had happened, and she was only too happy to oblige to the "slowest setting" request. She did, however, request that Kunga's jumpsuit be unzipped—not enough to expose anything, but just so the juice would have someplace to flow out of him.

The process was long and tedious. Two pressers squeezed and retracted for almost an hour. Wonka sat by and listened very carefully for signs of discomfort, but no especially disturbing sounds were made, aside from a few groans every now and then. Finally, the process was over, and Kunga lied on the floor, completely exhausted. Wonka thought it best to let him rest for a bit, so he picked up Kunga and carried him towards the elevator, to go to the room with the Oompa-Loompa's residential bungalows. Oddly, Kunga's left arm twisted in a strange position without pain when Wonka lifted him, and his skin was still blue.

...

Kunga woke up that evening to see Wonka squatting near the bed. "I…I have some bad news." Wonka told him, frowning.

Kunga was all groggy. He figured Wonka was talking about the juicing. Kunga stretched, bending his right leg into an unnatural position as he did so. "What is it?"

"You know that we got all the juice out of you, right?"

"Yes…"

"Well," Wonka continued, "it appeared that the juice dyed your skin and hair. I'm afraid your blue coloration is permanent."

Kunga's heart sank. "But I thought that the juicer would put me back to normal!"

"I did, too." Wonka said, frowning.

"It's okay." Kunga replied. "It's my fault. I volunteered to test that gum, remember?"

"Rest assured, I will put less juice in its dessert portion and will not let anyone else try the gum until I am fairly certain it is ready."

Both of them chuckled for a moment, imagining what else could go wrong.

"Can you at least move okay?" asked Wonka.

"I'll try." Yawning, Kunga tried to step out of bed. Being spent from that afternoon, however, he was slightly exhausted and slipped out of the bed accidentally. To both of their surprise, he landed in a cartwheel and twisted his head back.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, that didn't hurt a bit!" Kunga told Wonka. Experimenting, Kunga flipped sideways and twisted his legs into a pretzel. He then jumped upright and, to his relief, he could still walk normally. "It appears I'm much more flexible now!"

"Well, I guess that could compensate for your blue skin and hair!" Wonka joked.

"Yeah, it definitely could!" Kunga agreed. After a moment of thinking, a huge grin broke onto his face. "Hey, I have an idea!"

...

The next week, Kunga was all settled at his new job elsewhere in the factory. He had requested a transfer from the Inventing Room to Fudge Mountain, which the Oompa-Loompas at administration accepted gladly. He turned in his jumpsuit and goggles (which were so ruined with the blueberry juice that they had to be discarded anyway) in exchange for a parka and gloves, and then started using his new flexibility to his advantage. Every other Oompa-Loompa working on the mountain every day was jealous of Kunga's ability to pick the hardest-to-reach pieces of fudge merely by bending backwards or twisting. He could ascend and descend the mountain several times as fast as anybody else by doing mere cartwheels on the flat spots. He wowed so many others with his efficiency on the job that he stopped caring altogether that he was blue.

One day, about a month after the transfer, Wonka stopped by Fudge Mountain just to check how Kunga was doing. Wonka spotted him immediately as being the only worker with a blue face inside the hood. Wonka called out his name and beckoned.

Kunga walked over as any Oompa-Loompa normally would. "Hello!"

"Hi! How do you like this room?"

"It's awesome! Everybody here wishes they had my new abilities!"

"So, you're happy with the switch?"

"I was a little apprehensive at first. Everyone else teased me horribly about my pigmentation for the first few days, but when I displayed what I could do when climbing and picking at the mountain, that showed them. They now respect me."

"Was the new flexibility the reason you asked to work at Fudge Mountain instead?"

"Yes. Knowing what goes on in there, I knew I would be of help with the physical activity. In fact, Dikaripa even asked me if you would hold off on fixing that gum just so he could try it himself!"

Wonka laughed. "He wouldn't want it. You said the juicing was painful, right?"

"Yeah, he just envies me!"

Kunga heard his name being called out by another Oompa-Loompa at the base of the mountain. "I have to get back to work." Kunga told Wonka. "See you!"

"Bye!" Wonka waved. He headed back to the Inventing Room to work on that three-course meal gum some more. Hopefully, he'd have it fixed before the next round of testing…

A/N: If this story looks familiar to you, that's because it probably is. This was originally typed in October 2018 for my DeviantArt account.