Hope Not

"I sit by the window where cool air blows,
I think of you while looking at the far sky,
I must be a fool who can't be helped,
Even when the four seasons change, I don't."

Seeing her makes him stop. Right there. In the middle of the street. Someone bumps into him and curses but he is beyond noticing. She seems different, tipping her head back and laughing at something Chouji said. Her eyes seem brighter. To him, she seems to move in slow motion. His throat feels strangely dry. She tucks her hair behind her ear. How many years has it been since he's been home? Had she always been this…this…

Sakura notices him them. Standing there. In the middle of the street like a fool. He watches her lips part. She gasps softly. He tries to swallow through the dryness in his throat. Her lips soundlessly form his name. Sasuke-kun. Her bright eyes widen. And then all at once, her face transforms and she smiles at him. For him. Sasuke feels disarmed. Useless. Unable to do anything but watch.

She stands. Crosses the distance between them as if it wasn't as big as it seemed to him. Her feet stop right in front of his. She's still smiling.

He can't look away.

Sasuke tries to swallow again. Okaeri, Sasuke-kun, she says. Welcome home. It has be a lifetime since he's heard those words. The feeling is…fast and unexpected. His hand twitches at his side to – what? He's not sure.

But she deserves better. Someone who could give her more. The happiness she deserves. The feeling he couldn't admit he was feeling now. But at the same time he didn't want her to forget about him. How can she smile at him like that? As if nothing happened. As if he didn't-

Her smile dims a little, she tilts her head in confusion. You're staring at me, Sasuke-kun.

Because he doesn't know how to stop.

Her cheeks become flushed all at once. She looks away, down. Suddenly shy.

She says his name again and this time he manages to answer, his voice comes out strange – hoarse. Tadaima. Sasuke doesn't know why he says it to her but Sakura smiles that smile at him again. She deserves better than a fool who could never get anything right. And yet, here she was, looking up at him like that. Smiling at him like that.

He didn't deserve what he was feeling. The warmth spreading in his chest. The way his heart was beating faster. For her.

But looking at her now, made him feel like maybe – just maybe he could get this right. He could hold on to this feeling. Thawing the coldness he usually felt. He wanted to hold on to it and despite everything – he wanted to hold on to her.

Her hand reached out, warm fingers curling around his wrist. Come with me, she grinned now, pulling him along. Sasuke caught himself before he could stumble, his arm twisting on its own, so that her hand would slip down and she was holding his hand. Sakura's fingers jump as if the motion shocked her.

She doesn't let go.

She looks over her shoulder, still smiling, softly now. The flush on her cheeks deepening.

He lets her pull him along willingly. His eyes still unable to leave her.

Don't give up on me. Don't forget about me.

I can do this right.

For you.

Because she deserved better. He could be that for her.