Songs for this chapter: L-O-V-E by JJ Heller

It was you by Norah Jones

Harvey makes his way to the room where the hearing is about to take place. He looks around only to find that Donna isn't there. The room has been slowly filling up for the last 15 minutes. It isn't like her to be late on such a significant day. He instead looks for Thomas and finds that he has already taken his allotted seat in the row behind where he is supposed to sit. As everybody is in their place, he too, decides to take his seat.

Glimpsing behind he asks Thomas where Donna is. And he is both upset and relieved to know she didn't show. This means that she will be exempt from the humiliation that could potentially be bestowed upon. He wonders if she and Thomas discussed what was going to happen in the hearing. While Thomas does not give anything away verbally, his expression gives him hope that he will protect Donna.

Good, that means he can focus on himself and getting out of this terrible mess he got stuck in. The members of the ethics board try to get him to reveal the truth but he has a strong poker face and uses the ambiguity of the laws to his advantage. However, he can tell that it is not enough. They don't look convinced and Hardman is hitting him hard enough to hurt.

But then Alex is called for his testimony and he blames Robert. He is so lost and confused. Nobody discussed this with him. And he does not understand why Robert is doing this. He looks towards Louis and it does not seem like he has any idea what is going on either. His mind freezes but when they call upon Thomas to provide his account, he stares him down to remind him to make the right decision. Luckily, Thomas takes the hint and uses Alex as a shield for Donna. She is safe. That is all that matters.

And within minutes, it is all over. He is safe. Robert is disbarred. And Donna isn't there.

He needs to call her and tell her what happened. He goes outside to find a quiet place to talk and calls her. But she does not pick up. He tries again but does not succeed. He refuses to leave her a voicemail just so she has an excuse to call him back. All he can think about is where she is and what she is doing. He hopes that she is no longer worried about what will happen today. Despite everything, she should know that it is still true.

It is still true that he would never let anything happen to her. Ever.

It is the only thing he is proud of.

He makes his way back to the firm. He needs to talk to Robert and Alex and figure out what just happened. He seems to have caught a Hail Mary and he does not know who to thank and what for.

But it seems like there won't be any easy answers tonight. Robert is unwilling to talk and Alex is cryptic too. They ask him where he was, and he tells them about calling Donna. He tries to take them out and try to get them to talk but they refuse to budge. Both of them decide to return home and he is sure they are trying to tell him something. But he is unable to decipher what.

Instead, he makes his wakes his way to Samantha's office as he realizes she is still in. He gets a sudden epiphany that he recognizes deeply what she is feeling. The night of Jessica leaving the firm enters his memory. That night, too, he was alone. He notices the look on her face and decides that it is probably a good thing that he stopped by. He knows how to help. Donna taught him so.

Samantha shares about what Robert means to her. And he smiles because Donna means the same to him. But as she goes on talking about being loved and accepted even despite and maybe because of the flaws, he can't help recollecting all the instances Donna did that. He has been lost in her ever since they kissed but he is even more lost in her memories every day since.

Her smile haunts him. The way she teases him, the many blunders she saves him from, the way she rememberes to always call and check up on him on his dad's birthday every year without fail even after leaving his desk and their fight, how she never makes him feel bad about any of the times he failed her, her endless unwavering support and suddenly he realizes he has been an idiot. A complete coward. Because in all those years, when he said he couldn't give her more or they had everything, he had been lying. He had been playing the man. And the man was his own damn self. He had been filling the emptiness all the time with other women when the only one who could complete him was standing in front of him and waiting for him to notice.

So he makes a quick exit from the office. He cannot think about anything or anyone except Donna. His attention is on the fastest path to Donna's apartment. He rushes through the elevator, hails a cab and pays him extra to drive as fast as possible and then finds himself running to her door.

Gasping for breath, he knocks thrice. When Donna opens dressed in that expensive lingerie, all he can think of is that he has arrived home. Suddenly, his tight posture relaxes, and he looks into her eyes hoping to convey everything that he had just realized with a glance. And by the way, Donna steps back, he knows she read him and is at the same place he is.

A/N: I would like to apologize to anyone who was waiting for me to update last week. I failed to finish this chapter as I struggled with it a lot. I hope this suffices. As always, leave me with your thoughts and suggestions. I love hearing about them, and they make me think and wonder too.

There was a reviewer who mentioned that one of the reasons Donna could be so distant that Harvey fails to recognize is that he went behind her back to Stu to get her a job in season 7. This was never addressed well in canon and I agree. But I also think he did not imagine that it would shake her trust in him so much. Given how emotionally oblivious he is, I don't think he would be able to acknowledge to himself all the things he did that made Donna apprehensive of him.