[Backstory chapter] In which Anna calls Elsa about a guy she met at the gym.

Twenty Kilos

"Oh my god, sis. You are not going to believe what just happened to me."

"Are you okay? Where are you? Are you okay?"

"You asked that twice. I didn't mean something literally happened to me… well, kinda. So I checked out that gym two blocks down—you know, the one next to the flower shop? The nice lady gave me a free trial so I—"

"You haven't answered my question. Are you okay?"

"I'm peachy! What about you? Whatcha doing?"

"Cleaning up the tea I spilled because you scared me."

"Oops, sorry. So anyway, I ran back to the apartment and threw on some exercise gear then sprinted back to the gym. Perfect distance for a warmup. There I am, doing deadlifts to their adorable retro playlist—"

"I'm sorry, you were doing what?"

"Rocking to Never Gonna Give You Up?"

"No, before that. You were… lifting the dead? Anna? Please say something. I can't tell if you're laughing or choking."

"I… I can't…"

"Breathe?"

"Deadlifts are an exercise! For your legs!"

"Then why are they not called leg lifts?"

"Because that's a whole different exercise. For your abs. Which is so weird now that I think about it—but never mind that. I'm resting between sets, right? And suddenly this massive shadow falls over me. It's the big guy from the next rack over. I've been watching him—well, not watching him; there's a huge mirror, totally unavoidable—and he lifts, like, twice my body weight. Very impressive. Then he looks at me and grunts, 'Twenty kilos'. I thought he was body-shaming me so I absolutely laid into him—"

"You picked a fight with a stranger twice your weight? Anna, that is like running into fire!"

"I said he lifted twice my weight… although he probably is also twice my weight. Big muscles. But that's not the point! He just, like, stood there while I blasted him about toxic masculinity and down with the patriarchy blah blah blah. And at the end of it all, you know what he said?"

"'I'm sorry'?"

"'Behind you'."

"Should I know what that means?"

"Elsa, he came over to ask for a twenty-kilo weight plate. That was behind me. And I called him a sexist musclehead."

"Oh, Anna."

"Right?! I felt so bad I dragged him downstairs and bought him donuts, and it turns out he's really sweet so we've decided to elope to New Zealand."

"Wait, what? Please tell me you're joking. Anna? Please. Tell me. You're joking."

"Hey now, it's the twenty-first century. It's not like I need my sister's blessing to fall in love with a nice guy."

"No, but with your track record…"

"Hey, it was one time!"

"You were months away from marrying an unredeemable monster."

"Yeah, but Kristoff is different! He has a super cute Samoyed called Sven. We're heading over now."

"You're going to his house?"

"Of course not, silly. We're going to the airport! New Zealand, remember?"

"The airport—you can't just—I don't… Anna! Stop laughing; this isn't funny!"

"Aww, Els, just open up. You'll see."

"No, this is not about me keeping an open mind; it's about you giving your heart away to a sweaty man you just met today. I understand he may be a perfectly decent person, but I don't care how fluffy his dog is—you can't get on that plane. Please, Anna. I'll come get you. Where are you now?"

"I'm outside."

"Good. With other people around?"

"With your secretary, actually. Waiting for you to open the door so we can psychoanalyse Kristoff's social media and figure out whether or not I should make friends with him. Also, you're a gullible dork and I bought you donuts."

"… I hate you."