Bonded

Summary: Snippets from Merrick's journal describes the Watcher/Slayer bond. Prequel to 'Unbonded'

Timeline: movie-verse of BtVS

Warning: none I can think of off the top of my head

A/N: I'm pretty sure the concept of the Watcher/Slayer Bond is a fanfic thing. I don't have all the episodes memorized, but I don't think they mentioned it on the show.

Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

bLos Angeles

After Merrick's death…/b

Buffy walked back to Merrick's place with Pike in a dazed state. She just held her Watcher as he died for her…to buy her time until she could face Lothos. It wasn't right! While she didn't want to die, she also didn't want anyone to die in her place.

What was she going to do?

It felt like a piece of her was missing and she couldn't understand why. She hadn't known Merrick that long. Not that she hated the guy or anything, but she felt worse now than when her Grandma had died the year before. Her. Grandma. How does a guy that she'd known for less than a month hurt more than the woman she loved her entire life?!

When they first started training, he told her that if he died, she was supposed to go to his place, grab his Watcher journals and mail them to an address he had on a card in his wallet…preferably without reading them first. She gave a sad smile as she remembered the conversation. He had to know there was no way she wouldn't read them – not after he specifically told her not to.

But not right now. Right now, it hurt too much.

But she did grab the books and put them into one of his duffle bags. He had his official "Journal of Watcher Merrick Jamison-Smythe" journals (god, could his name be any more British?) and another book called "Buffy Summers".

The books sat in her room, hidden from prying eyes, until her mother announced they were moving to Sunnydale. Finally, Buffy was ready to read his thoughts.

The official journal was about as dry as one of her mom's wines. "The Slayer trained on the course today." "The Slayer staked her first vampires today." And so on like that. Nothing personal, nothing to tell her how he felt about her. She grabbed a shipping box and sent the book to England with a written note from her that Merrick died at the hands of Lothos, stabbed with a stake through the heart and that Lothos was gone.

Then she went back to Merrick's place – which hadn't changed since she last went there – and curled up on his couch to read his personal journal about her.

Buffy Summers

Day One

I have found the missing Slayer in a suburb of Los Angeles. She is not what I expected, but a seemingly shallow, fashion-obsessed girl who appears to care only of herself and her friends. However, the Higher Powers that determine who protects humankind must see something in her, hidden by those superficial layers.

Hopefully, I will be able to scrape past those layers in time for her to defeat Lothos. The portents show that he will soon come for her, and I don't know if she'll be ready for him.

/

…Day Four

She didn't believe me at first. It wasn't until I mentioned the dreams that I got her full attention. Perhaps that's something to consider in the future when we need to convince a girl about her Calling.

Despite her earlier reluctance, Buffy trusted me enough to go to the cemetery, despite only having just met me. While it was good in this instance, I fear her trusting attitude may get her into trouble one day.

But I hesitate to ruin that part of her innocence just yet. It is refreshing to be with a Slayer that isn't hardened by the life she's to lead.

I felt bad for not warning her there were two vampires we were waiting for, but she handled herself magnificently. It truly is a joy to watch a Slayer come alive during those moments of fighting.

Although she's had no training, I have high hopes for this one.

/

…Day Nineteen

Buffy has the capacity to be one of the greatest Slayers ever, but she clings to her dreams of a normal life. Those dreams distract her too much.

I feel that she needs the stability of the Bond to counter those desires. It would anchor her and keep her focused on the Calling long enough for her to survive Lothos.

He must be getting close to coming for her. I can almost feel it in my blood.

She has started to care for me as a person. The Council would frown on the attachment, I know, but there's something about her that draws me in like a moth to a flame. Perhaps she would accept the Bond, even despite not knowing about it.

While I realize that for the Bond to be successful, she cannot know about it beforehand, it still concerns me that she won't recognize what I'm offering her; what I'm asking from her.

Still, I must try…for her sake.

/

Day Twenty-three

I'm surprised she accepted so quickly. Her trust in me must be greater than I had anticipated because she accepted my offer before the day ended. It is humbling to know how much she believes in me.

She seems more grounded…more focused.

But she is still Buffy. Staking a vampire with a guitar was something I have never seen a Council-trained Slayer attempt. They wouldn't have had the imagination to improvise in such a way. I'm pleased the Bond hasn't robbed her of her personality, for that would be a great shame.

On the plus side for me, the Bond has increased my healing ability. Instead of it taking days for the bruises to fade after our training session, I was better the next morning.

Maybe if we survive this, I can tell her of the Bond and we can test some of its limitations. It wouldn't surprise me if we did survive. She is nothing like the other Slayers I've known, and that could make all the difference in the world. I hope she never plays by the rules.

/

Buffy closed the journal and just let the tears flow, mourning the loss of her Watcher for a second time. She hoped he would be proud of her, and it seemed like he was, even before he knew how it would turn out.

She remembered the 'offer' he made, even if she didn't get it at the time. It was like…words couldn't describe it. But the closest she could come was he offered her part of his soul – in a non-gross way – and by accepting it, she shared hers with him. They completed each other in a way.

What surprised her was that he didn't mention it in his official journal for the Council. Why wouldn't he tell them about it? Was it because of their aversion to an attachment between the Watcher and his Slayer? Whatever the reason, she wouldn't say anything about it if they decided to ask. It was something personal, just for her and Merrick.

She hid the journal in the bottom of her trunk so she'd have something to remember him by for the rest of her life. He may have been 'a creepy old dude' (she smiled at the memory of their first talk in the gymnasium), but he was still her friend and she loved him.

Hopefully she could put this whole Slayer thing behind her when she got to Sunnydale.

A/N: A few people asked about the bond, so I thought I'd do a prequel to address it. Just so you know, he wrote in the journals every day, but I just picked out the key passages.