The Chronicles of Bibbo the Ass-Monkey Chapter 1, a Harry Potter + Anime X-overs Crossover fanfic

Disclaimer: I Don't own anything

Bibbo is our god and we are all his followers.

Also, keep in mind that Bibbo, at the end of the day is a monkey that likes flinging shit. Here, he still possesses a monkey brain up until he is actually deified. That means that yes while he is smart and can magically read since the plot demands it, he cannot make smart choices. Since in the end, a monkey brain is just that, a monkeys, even while being "overclocked" for lack of a better term. Also, the *Action part* will not last throughout. It is only present in the initial part where Bibbo is in the process of meeting the Game Master (Me). This is because he is effectively floating in a Black Void with the only thing being a blue tinted screen that he can somehow read. Remember, he has no prior experience with any of this, but due to being able to access the knowledge of his followers, he does have some ideas about the plot.

[Welcome! You are the newest gamer]

Rooargh?

[As our lord and saviour, we will grant you certain abilities to eventually let you perform the one true goal, win at AllBadCards]

Skill Gained;

Bibbo's Banging Brain (Permanent, LvL Max.):

The most powerful of all brains to exist. This allows Bibbo to model probabilities of certain events to his favour. Also provides Bibbo immunity to any psychological developments and immediately sets his intelligence to that of a peak human.
Cost: 0MP

Bibbo's Beautiful Body (Permanent, LvL 1):

The most impressive body that could be found to house the soul of our Lord and Saviour Bibbo. It is naturally capable of changing form's as per the wishes of its user, although an unfortunate side effect is that Luck Gain is infinitesimally smaller.

What's going on? And, where am I? I was… shitting on somebody? Yes, I was trying to fling my shit at a man with this white hat.

[My Lord, we are trying to help you become the strongest Deity in the multiverse and as such, are attempting to get you started on your Journey]

Huh? Journey? What do you mean? And what is this gamer ability you speak of?

[Through the Gamer ability, you shall be able to improve your divinity to new heights and shall be able to rise above and beyond any other gods, everyone and everything will be under your control. You can fling shit everywhere to your heart's desire.]

Sounds fun, Can I start?

*Tries flinging shit at the floating text*

*Shit goes through the floating text*

[My lord, Unfortunately, I am Intangible]

*Tries flinging again, just to be sure*

*Passes through it again*

That's just sad

[…]

[Let's just build your Avatar first, shall we?]

Character Customisation Begin:
Race (Pre-set, Permanent, LvL Max): Ass-Monkey

You are the one and only Ass-Monkey, this means you have an ass that is to die for, and the ability to release an incomprehensible amount of shit. Like seriously Milord, where is it even coming from.

Specialisation: Conqueror Ass-Monkey Deity

You have the ability to Submerge Entire Kingdom's in your shit as a penalty for not showing you enough respect, but this costs Faith Point's.

Can I fling my shit yet?

[…]

[Characteristic defined: Determined]

[My lord, you cannot yet mark everyone as under your control with your shit]

[You must level up first]

[Class Gained: Shitty Deity]

It isn't that you're a bad Deity, but rather you're a Deity that loves shit.

[Wait no, that's not supposed to work that way, STOP]

[Characteristic defined: Greedy]

Hey, what's this shiny gold button? MINE! MINE! MINE!

[Wait no, let me fix this, stop]

*presses it*

{Auto selection decided}

{Can now access full list of powers}

{Final Character List}

Bibbo

Level – 1

Class - Conqueror Ass-Monkey Deity

Race – Ass-Monkey Deity

Alignment – Greedy little shit (MINE MINE MINE)

Hit Points (HP) – 740

Mana Points (MP) – 100 (20 per 30 seconds)
Shit Points (SP) – 1000 (100 per true follower)

STR – 5 (Peak Monkey)

End – 15 (Gained through regularly releasing shit on people's heads)

Dex – 15 (Solid Aiming skills, especially for flinging a semisolid substance)

Int – 30 (Can utilise your direct brainpower now)

Wis – 5 (Doesn't really think about unimportant things such as consequences)

Cha – 50 (People truly love your magnificent ass)

Luck – 100 * 0.001 = 0.1 (This stat is truly your worst as the universe seems to act out against you)

Ugh… What happened? I remember… well I really messed up here didn't I? Still, I am in a better position than I was when I started. I seem to remember something about the text mentioning that it was a follower of mine? Whatever, I'll try to figure it out. Now then, Where am I?

Ping – Due to gaining two traits, you are able to choose the first world you wish to convert, Further choosing of the worlds can be done upon gaining knowledge of them and the ability to create a portal to them.

Due to your unnaturally low luck modifier, we have decided to give you some perks to make your journey gaining followers easier:

Perk Gained: Sweet Talker

Will have a much easier time fully utilising your charisma stat and convincing people to follow you and hear you out. [Cha x 5]

Perk Gained: Telekinesis

Together with a high intelligence, can allow you to control objects with your mind to accelerate them into projectiles, reshape them, compress them, etc. The limits to this are only what you impose onto yourself. [Int x 2.5]

Bibbo

Level – 1

Class - Conqueror Ass-Monkey Deity

Race – Ass-Monkey Deity

Alignment – Greedy little shit)

Hit Points (HP) – 740

Mana Points (MP) – 100
Shit Points (SP) – 1000

STR – 5

End – 15

Dex – 15

Int – 75

Wis – 5

Cha – 250

Luck – 100 * 0.001 = 0.1

Schlong length – 6 inches flaccid

[Alignment: True Chaos]

Character Info: Bibbo is a Conqueror Ass-Monkey Deity and as such is powered by both his elements, shit and the shaven balls of random creatures. Due to being the one and only Ass-Monkey, he also holds the ability to bulk out into a much more powerful form where all his stats are multiplied by an order of magnitude.

[{Skill: Beast Out!} unlocked]

[Due to unlocking your hidden potential, you gain a mini-map. This ability will activate sometime during the tutorial. Every Level Up gives you 2 Customisation points or 4 Randomly Assigned ones.]

[Currently set to: Random Assignment]

[Change point assignment?] [Not Allowed]

Huh, well isn't that nice. This will make it much easier for me to gain and mark everything as Mine, thanks my mystical follower. Still, probably better not to temp fate, the universe is out to get me anyways and now that I can feel the full effects of all my stats, I should finalise everything before I get nerfed hard.

Skill Gained:

|Create Shit| {Active} – Allows you to spawn shit out of thin air.

|ID Create| {Active} – Creates an Instant Dungeon.

Dungeons Available:

{Empty}

{Small Predators}

{Base Humans}

[Becoming a Deity in]

[3]

[2]

[1]

GO:

With That I felt my head pound as tons of knowledge was forced through my head. It wasn't as though my intelligence increased, since that stat was constant, it was simply more along the lines that I understood more. That wasn't to say I didn't suddenly know things I didn't know earlier but apparently, I know the sum knowledge of all my followers. This means I still basically know nothing though… Why do most of these people waste their time reading books online anyways?! Ping! Ugh fine let's see what's the mysterious text saying now:

Choose your first two worlds (Warning: you cannot move beyond these worlds until you are able to create inter-universal portals and have a high enough INT stat to aim them):

My Hero Academia, Harry Potter, Marvel Cinematic Universe, DC Cinematic Universe, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Kane Chronicles, High School DxD, in another world with my smartphone, how not to summon a Demon Lord, Bartimaeus, Pokémon, Eragon, Naruto, Infinite Stratos, One Punch Man, The Disastrous Life of Saiki Kusuo.

Hmmm… well this is a tough choice. Clearly, I can't go to places like the MCU, the DCEU, Naruto and the likes simply due to the fact that power scaling is conveniently ignored in those places. I need world where people start weak and become strong so that I can gain enough followers to be able to mark the world as mine. This pretty much only leaves me with two options, My Hero Academia and Harry Potter, where while there are outliers, there are enough weak children to trick onto my side. I think I will take Harry Potter though since I can convince more people to my side faster than in MHA, where a god monkey maybe misunderstood as a quirk. I want people to let me shit on them, dammit! PLUS, SO MUCH SHINY! So many things to take in harry potter; I want everything.

Harry Potter selected as first world;

Teleportation commencing;

Done

The moment the teleportation message ended, there was a bright flash of light and the next thing I know, I'm deep underwater. I can't see my legs below my face or anything. Panicking I try flailing around in the hopes of floating upwards but if anything, It just seems to push me down further.

-20 HP

[Skill Gained: Look Ma, No Air]

Due to drowning underwater, despite not needing to breathe as you're a god, we have taken 20 HP.

[Skill Gained: Game Resistance]

Will deafen the blows the gamer system hits you with to set you about your destiny

[Due to your terrible luck, we shall complete the tutorial in a different manner than most]

Huh? Say what now floaty text? I need to get out of this water first and foremost. I'm drowning, and that's pretty fatal usually, isn't it?

[Tutorial Start]

[Try to hold your breath, Due to you being an Ass-Monkey Deity, normally lethal situations mean nothing to you.]

Really, I think? Aren't I doing that anyways, seeing as I can't breathe in water?

[Well yes, that's a fair point, take some XP]

[+200 XP]

[level up]

[Now, as a Gamer, we can't have you being unable to leave this water]

[While you have not gained the {Skill: Teleportation} or the {Skill: Swimming}, you can simply create an Empty ID and imagine constructs in there, such as stairs or an endless tree if your more comfortable climbing those]

….

[You still can't speak, can you? You may also use a skill by simply thinking about it]

And how do I do that? It's not like I can just think about something really hard?

[It's more like your general intention to use the skill]

{Skill Used: ID Create: Empty}

And with that, I was suddenly on flat ground, with a massive tree stretching out beyond what I could see, with plenty of vines and branches everywhere.

Considering I was still flailing around though, I ended up slipping on the abrupt change in location and tripped and whoop-de-fucking-do, right as I slip, miraculously there exists a giant pool of mud where I could swear there wasn't anything a moment ago.

SPLATT!

Yep, my new life isn't turning out much better than my old one. Still at least I've got this massive tree now.

[For successfully using the {Skill: ID Create} you get another 200xp]

[level up]

Bibbo

Level – 3 (xp needed: 100/400)

Class - Conqueror Ass-Monkey Deity

Race – Ass-Monkey Deity

Alignment – Greedy little shit)

Hit Points (HP) – 740

Mana Points (MP) – 100
Shit Points (SP) – 1000

STR – 5 + 5 = 10

End – 15

Dex – 15

Int – 75

Wis – 5 + 3 = 8

Cha – 250

Luck – 100 * 0.001 = 0.1

Schlong length – 6 inches flaccid

[Alignment: True Chaos]

Nice, so now what do I do? I wonder as I pick myself up from the puddle of mud that I had fallen into, WHICH SHOULD STILL NOT BE THERE? How was it even there in the first place?

[New Quest: Back to where I should be]

[Climb to a high enough level that when you use the {Skill: ID Escape} you come out above sea level on land. Rewards: 500xp]

[Ability activated: Mini-map]

Suddenly, a strange 2d map pops up at the corner of my eye. It feels like it should be out of my sight, yet I can still see it? What? How does this work? And why does it say Forbidden Forest? Last I remember I was underwater?

[The Mini-map is an ability that shows you where you would occur in real life. You are currently located deep below the edge of the forbidden forest, which is a massive aquatic area that is connected to the Great Lake.]

"… Alright then," I say figuring it's better to just go with the flow for now. I slowly meander through the area I've found trying to get a feel for where I am. It appears as though I'm surrounded by a grassy field as far as the eye can see, Eerily though, It feels as though there isn't any wind or scents here. Maybe since its an Empty ID? So the only things that would be created are physical objects?

[For not breathing for 5 minutes at a stretch, you have made the {Skill: Look Ma, No Air} permanently active.]

Wait what? Oh shit I forgot to breathe! Still, it doesn't seem to be doing much so whatever I guess. Might as well complete that quest, after all its not leaving my sight no matter where I look.

[The text stays. Its incentive to get your ass into gear, or else we would be left watching you try covering this massive tree in your shit. Don't waste the time now, level up until you can release enough at once to absolutely smother it]

Wait, I can release more shit as I level up? That sounds awesome. I've always had trouble shitting enough to throw at everyone I see, this makes everything so much easier.

With that thought, I decide to start climbing. Its surprisingly easy to be honest, it's as though the vines here are conveniently stationed to help me climb up as fast as I can. Plus I don't have to worry about overshooting and coming out of the ID at a 1000 banana height. (Yes, that's the unit of measurement I'm going to go with, humans got foots, Ass-Monkeys got bananas.)

Eventually I reached a height which according to the mini-map should be just above the ground. Alright, what now?

[Use the {Skill: ID Escape}]

Do I just think about using it again? Or is this done in some other way. Can I also do it if I spell out the skill somewhere? Who decided what ways I can use my skills in anyways? If it's my skill shouldn't I get final say?

[You need to think about the {Skill} master, not about the hundreds of random thoughts you have. And the rules were set by a follower of yours a Quest Master, though he possesses much more power than you at the moment.]

"So…. Like this?" I say, as I try to imagine me falling off this tree and onto the part of the forest where my mini-map says I should be.

Again, as before I was suddenly on the earth, and all the dry mud that was sticking to my hair was gone. Huh? Guess popping in and out of ID's only takes along what I want with me, so I can use it as my portable shower. That's cool… I guess?

[Quest Complete: Back to where I should be]

[+500 xp]

[Level up]

Bibbo

Level – 4 (xp needed: 200/800)

Class - Conqueror Ass-Monkey Deity

Race – Ass-Monkey Deity

Alignment – Greedy little shit)

Hit Points (HP) – 740

Mana Points (MP) – 100
Shit Points (SP) – 1000

STR – 10

End – 15

Dex – 15

Int – 75

Wis – 8 + 4 = 12

Cha – 250

Luck – 100 * 0.001 = 0.1

Schlong length – 6 inches flaccid

[Alignment: True Chaos]

[New Quest: Fuck Mrs. Norris, 690 xp]

[The world is only big enough for one animal that all students hate, but secretly admire. Get rid of the furred feline and stop her reign, for you are the true animal deity.]

Wasn't miss Norris the cat? Still… you do make a fair point. Question! Do I have to eat her?

[… You can just kill her]

"Alright!" I exclaim as I make my way towards Hogwarts. While checking out my mini-map. Thankfully I appear to have arrived during the day, so most of the creatures in the forest are asleep.

AN: Yes, i know the fic is fairly crack right now, but consider this. while Bibbo was given a lot of brain power suddenly and a bunch of knowledge, he has been acting in a certain way for years. its not going to change immediately, even if you do know what your doing is stupid. On another note, this chapters tone was slightly more descriptive and stretched around the parts where he climbed the tree for example, thats simply because i wanted to give you guys a somewhat good explanation of him learning to use certain abilities and stuff. A warning as well, Bibbo will always be an Ass-Monkey and will eventually commit a plethora of depraved acts. While he may have knowledge that certain things are wrong, he has the impulse control of a monkey, which all but guarantee's that he will make many stupid choices simply because they immediately give him more benefits rather than waiting and playing the long run. This fic will be updated every alternate day or so, or maybe 3-4 days if i'm feeling particularly lazy but i plan to make it one with a solid PLOT. I Repeat this will not be crack. it will be crass, it will be stupid, but everything will happen for a reason. Plus this is an interesting perspective on things, isn't it?.

The official discord for this fic is on Shiro's Gaming Omniverse and features a bunch of other brilliant authors and has a great community. we discuss anything and everything over there and also have our own list of the best fan-fictions on there that is regularly voted on and updated. We are currently at over 400 people here and again it is a Rated A server. please don't join if you aren't at-least 17 years old. The discord can be joined through the the following link. i'm using spaces since ffnet doesn't allow links. www . discord . gg / H5QYpkH

If the code does not work, simply pop over to one of The Dark Wolf Shiro's latest fic's and pick up the link from there.