Blurred Evening
By Deadkenny
A/N: The kids are 15 in this fic. This fic contains some adult themes and mild slash, plus language. It kinda sucks, since it's supposed to be humor. But I think I screwed up.
"Man, this kicks ass!" Cartman crowed as he sat on his couch, munching those oh-so-crunchy cheesy poofs. He was engrossed in the TV just like always. He loved watching Television.
"Yeah!" Kyle, sitting next to him, agreed. "This is so cool!"
It was a quiet Friday Night. Liane had gone to a party and would most likely be out all night, so Cartman had called Stan, Kyle, and Kenny up to invite them over. Now they were eating and watching TV.
("Hey, Cartman, you got any porn videos?") Kenny asked, his voice muffled as always by that orange hooded parka that covered most of his face. ("Like maybe the home movie of your mother's first drunken party?")
The others laughed.
"AY! Shut the hell up, Kenny, or I'll kick you in the nuts!!"
Stan went into the kitchen, Kyle close behind. It was a long evening ahead of them, and the two boys wanted to stock up on food before the Terrence and Phillip movie "Not Without My Anus" played on the "HBC movie of the week."
Kyle opened the refrigerator door and peered inside. "Hey!" He pulled out a glass bottle and showed it to Stan. "Cartman's mom got some weird kind of soda!"
"Cool." Stan answered. "What the name of it?"
Kyle turned the bottle over, looking at the white label slapped on it. "It's called 'Miller Lite'. What a weird name for a soda."
Stan shrugged. "It's probably some imported soda from Canada or something. Let's grab all of them."
Kyle pulled all the "sodas" out of the fridge, all 5 cases of them, and shutting the fridge door behind him, followed Stan to the living room.
*****
"What the hell is that?" Cartman asked, peering at the bottle that Kyle handed him. He unscrewed the cap and sniffed it. "Why the hell does it smell so weird?"
"It's imported, Cartman. Just drink it up.
Cartman did as commanded.
*****
The rest of the night went quickly. Cartman staggered to the couch after vomiting in the bathroom. He felt weak. What was wrong wuth him? "Y-you guys... seriously... URGH..."
Stan and Kyle ignored Cartman. They were too busy making out. Stan pulled his face away from Kyle's and smiled drunkenly. "D-D-Did I ever tell ya how handsome you are... Bro... Broflovski...?"
Kyle, just as plastered, answered. "Ye... yeah." His response was quickly followed by projectile vomiting that landed on Cartman.
"Sick... sick... ya...." Cartman struggled to get himself under control. "ya fucking Jew..." (A/N: apology to anyone reading this who's Jewish.)
Kyle responded by getting to his feet. He staggered over to Kenny, who was sitting there, also hammered. Suddenly, the ceiling collapsed onto the poor kid, crushing him on impact.
"O... oh.... Oh my g...god.. They... killed... killed Kenny..."
"You..." Kyle paused and grinned toothily. "...bastards..."
Then they all passed out from their state of drunkenness.
*****
"Urgh, I feel sick, dude," Stan moaned the following morning. His stomach felt weak, and he wanted to barf. What a wild night he had had. It was all just a blur to him.
"Me, too." Kyle slumped onto his butt on the curb, trying not to puke again. "I think that soda disagreed with me."
They were a little more sober. After Liane had come home and found them, and after she spent all night trying to gather them all together, so she could get some sleep, a recovered Stan and Kyle were going home, wondering what they were going to tell their parents.
"Dude... I am never drinking that soda again..."
The End.
By Deadkenny
A/N: The kids are 15 in this fic. This fic contains some adult themes and mild slash, plus language. It kinda sucks, since it's supposed to be humor. But I think I screwed up.
"Man, this kicks ass!" Cartman crowed as he sat on his couch, munching those oh-so-crunchy cheesy poofs. He was engrossed in the TV just like always. He loved watching Television.
"Yeah!" Kyle, sitting next to him, agreed. "This is so cool!"
It was a quiet Friday Night. Liane had gone to a party and would most likely be out all night, so Cartman had called Stan, Kyle, and Kenny up to invite them over. Now they were eating and watching TV.
("Hey, Cartman, you got any porn videos?") Kenny asked, his voice muffled as always by that orange hooded parka that covered most of his face. ("Like maybe the home movie of your mother's first drunken party?")
The others laughed.
"AY! Shut the hell up, Kenny, or I'll kick you in the nuts!!"
Stan went into the kitchen, Kyle close behind. It was a long evening ahead of them, and the two boys wanted to stock up on food before the Terrence and Phillip movie "Not Without My Anus" played on the "HBC movie of the week."
Kyle opened the refrigerator door and peered inside. "Hey!" He pulled out a glass bottle and showed it to Stan. "Cartman's mom got some weird kind of soda!"
"Cool." Stan answered. "What the name of it?"
Kyle turned the bottle over, looking at the white label slapped on it. "It's called 'Miller Lite'. What a weird name for a soda."
Stan shrugged. "It's probably some imported soda from Canada or something. Let's grab all of them."
Kyle pulled all the "sodas" out of the fridge, all 5 cases of them, and shutting the fridge door behind him, followed Stan to the living room.
*****
"What the hell is that?" Cartman asked, peering at the bottle that Kyle handed him. He unscrewed the cap and sniffed it. "Why the hell does it smell so weird?"
"It's imported, Cartman. Just drink it up.
Cartman did as commanded.
*****
The rest of the night went quickly. Cartman staggered to the couch after vomiting in the bathroom. He felt weak. What was wrong wuth him? "Y-you guys... seriously... URGH..."
Stan and Kyle ignored Cartman. They were too busy making out. Stan pulled his face away from Kyle's and smiled drunkenly. "D-D-Did I ever tell ya how handsome you are... Bro... Broflovski...?"
Kyle, just as plastered, answered. "Ye... yeah." His response was quickly followed by projectile vomiting that landed on Cartman.
"Sick... sick... ya...." Cartman struggled to get himself under control. "ya fucking Jew..." (A/N: apology to anyone reading this who's Jewish.)
Kyle responded by getting to his feet. He staggered over to Kenny, who was sitting there, also hammered. Suddenly, the ceiling collapsed onto the poor kid, crushing him on impact.
"O... oh.... Oh my g...god.. They... killed... killed Kenny..."
"You..." Kyle paused and grinned toothily. "...bastards..."
Then they all passed out from their state of drunkenness.
*****
"Urgh, I feel sick, dude," Stan moaned the following morning. His stomach felt weak, and he wanted to barf. What a wild night he had had. It was all just a blur to him.
"Me, too." Kyle slumped onto his butt on the curb, trying not to puke again. "I think that soda disagreed with me."
They were a little more sober. After Liane had come home and found them, and after she spent all night trying to gather them all together, so she could get some sleep, a recovered Stan and Kyle were going home, wondering what they were going to tell their parents.
"Dude... I am never drinking that soda again..."
The End.