Warnings: Homophobia, adult language, & references to sex.

Gabriel Agreste loathed business dinners, particularly when it was necessary for them to take place in his home.

This meeting was to be attended solely by Tomoe Tsurugi, one of the business partners with whom he had grown close in recent years despite the failure of the relationship between her daughter and his son.

Adrien, whose attendance had been mandatory as he was to one day inherit the family company and he needed experience in such matters, had brought his "new" girlfriend, whom he had begun dating shortly after the public breakup with Kagami. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the young designer and intern at Gabriel, was a promising potential addition to the family, so the fashion mogul tolerated her inclusion, trusting that everyone involved was mature enough to not allow their personal feelings to interfere with the informal initiation of a new round of corporate negotiations.

Gabriel hated young people even more than he hated business dinners and almost as much as he hated being wrong.

He wasn't particularly fond of Madame Tsurugi today, either.

It seemed that she was taking the opportunity to shame Kagami in front of her old boyfriend. She had thrown barbs at her daughter all throughout the appetizer and entree, making things painfully unpleasant for everyone by railing against the young woman's unwillingness to accept the new boyfriends that Tomoe assigned to her for business reasons. Kagami, the elder Tsurugi had insisted, needed a man with whom to produce heirs after her fencing career, and finding a suitable candidate who would put up with Kagami's eccentricities was difficult in the extreme. Clearly, her daughter didn't appreciate Tomoe's efforts on her behalf. It had been relatively easy to tune out this petty nonsense and focus on poking food around his plate until he barely registered a shift in the direction of Madame Tsurugi's conversation.

She began to address the growing rumours that Kagami was "queer" because what girl her age wasn't dating?

It was a somewhat polite obfuscation of the terms that had actually been bandied about. Gabriel had, in fact, heard the appellation "frigid dyke" hissed in her direction by one of the models in his employ who had been turned down by the girl.

That young man wasn't going to be finding work in the fashion industry again.

Also, while Gabriel didn't normally mix business with pleasure, he may have akumatized the ex-model just to watch Ladybug and Chat Noir pummel him for a while. They had been ... unusually and satisfyingly brutal with him.

Big-Gut was not to be counted among Hawkmoth's most effective creations, but the akuma did have a few points in his favor.

First, his massive, rotund belly absolutely obliterated the sleek physique over which the former model had been preening while dealing with miss Tsurugi.

Second, his corpulence prevented him from doing anything other than roll about on the ground, wholly impotent as Gabriel hoped he would remain after the akumatization, while Chat and Ladybug took their time dealing with him.

And third, Hawkmoth's brilliant name-pun left little question as to the reasons for the lad's akumatization. Chat Noir had certainly laughed uproariously at it while pounding away with his baton.

He let Ladybug and Chat Noir go without another akuma attack that week. They were his nemeses, but they weren't altogether bad kids.

Hawkmoth was a supervillain, but never let it be said that he was a "Big-Gut."

He had some standards.

At any rate, Kagami did not seem to care for this line of conversation, particularly a spiel about not allowing scurrilous assaults against her character pertaining to degenerate sexual interests. Such rumours could not be allowed to gain traction.

At that assertion, Kagami had excused herself politely, pulling the napkin from her lap and folding it neatly next to her plate before rising from her chair with a bow towards Gabriel.

Slow, confident strides led her to the other side of the table. There, his scowling son was restraining an equally-livid girlfriend with a calming hand to her shoulder. Marinette looked like she was about to start climbing over the floral arrangements to throttle Madame Tsurugi, rage setting her body twitching. Adrien's efforts did little to help, partially because he was distracted leveling a death-glare at Tomoe.

Then, arriving beside the pair, Kagami grabbed Marinette by the upper arm and tugged her from her seat, out of Adrien's grip.

The girl only had the chance to part her lips in shock before Kagami smashed their faces together in a sloppy kiss that involved way too much tongue to appear anything other than awkward to everyone not actually participating in it. Also, there was some none-too-subtle boob groping before Kagami ripped away from the other girl and turned to leer at her mother.

The show would have been spectacularly more impressive had Tomoe Tsurugi been able to see it, but she was still well aware of the slurping sounds and Marinette's strangled moan.

"What is going on!?" Tomoe Tsurugi exclaimed.

Seeing that Adrien was in no condition to respond in light of the fact that he was now valiantly trying to stem a nose bleed that sent a rivulet of blood tricking down his chin, Gabriel took upon himself the unenviable task of responding.

"Your daughter just passed first and second base with my son's girlfriend."

"What?! What is the meaning of this?" the woman cried.

Gabriel Agreste would have to reconsider his business relationship with Tomoe Tsurugi; any woman who didn't understand the "meaning" of her daughter sticking her tongue down another girl's throat while assisting her in an exhaustive examination of her mammaries clearly could not possess an acceptable degree of business acumen.

"The meaning of this, mother," Kagami said with a frankly bizarre flashing smile while clutching a gasping, blurry-eyed Marinette to her chest. "Is that I will not allow myself to live a lie for even a single moment longer."

"Are you proposing to throw your life away in a fit of rebellious pique?" Tomoe Tsurugi rose from her seat, bokken in hand, to wheel on her daughter. The plain wooden weapon shuddered in her grip, made unsteady by rage or shock, Gabriel knew not. "Your professional reputation, and the honor of our family, will not be so easily disregarded. I will not allow it."

"You speak as if you have any choice in the matter," Kagami dismissed with cool savagery while soothing herself by copping another feel of Marinette – her thigh (at least Gabriel hoped it was just her thigh) this time.

"I am your mother," the woman replied, visibly trying to regain control of her temper and find the level, icy tone that was so comfortably familiar to her. "You will obey me if you hope to live in my home or continue on as a Tsurugi, with all of the privileges that entails."

Kagami scoffed. Mirth creased her unusually rounded face – now that he thought about it; her head was like a perfect sphere - and rolling chuckles unsettled the prim hairdo that hadn't changed since she was a child. It was among the first times that Gabriel could recall her laughing genuinely.

If terrifyingly.

"Mother," she said, while suppressing her laughter to get the words out, a hand pressed to her chest. She gave Marinette a tight non-sexual squeeze. "The moment that I sign the marriage license, I am going to be a Dupain-Cheng anyways."

The response was immediate.

"How dare you disrespect our family name by proposing to throw it away so callously!" Madame Tsurugi spat. "You have a responsibility to carry on our family line, yet you compound one repugnant act with another."

Kagami rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, so hard that even if Tomoe couldn't see it, she could probably still feel it.

"Oh, go to hell, mother."

"W-What?"

"Now, if you'll excuse me," she continued without even the slightest pause, tugging the reeling Marinette towards the doorway to the stairwell beyond. "I'm going to go fuck my girlfriend until she passes out."

Suddenly lucid, Marinette was now the one dragging Kagami along eagerly, already using her free hand to start shucking her elegant "Marinette-original" red dress.

At that, Tomoe Tsurugi slammed her bokken into the table. The lightning fast motion scattered cutlery and shattered several pieces of fine china.

Nathalie immediately began composing an itemized list of the damages to dispatch it to the Tsurugi estate.

Good assistant.

He'd tell her that later.

She had a bit of a praise kink.

Departing in a violent huff, Madame Tsurugi didn't even offer a single moment's thought or a word of farewell to Gabriel. The lack of decorum could be forgiven, he supposed.

She was going to make a really great akuma in about five minutes, anyways, as soon as he got to his lair.

He only just restrained himself from rubbing his paws together in glee and cackling.

At least he knew something about proper decorum.

Still, before the fun could begin, he had "fatherhood" to deal with. Ugh. Why hadn't he worn that condom, again?

"Adrien, you are no doubt quite distraught over the revelation of your girlfriend's infidelity," Gabriel intoned monotonously, redirecting his attention to his son. "You may rest assured that miss Dupain-Cheng will suffer the professional consequences of her poor decisions."

"No!" Adrien nearly screamed. "Father, that's- that's alright. You can't blame someone for who they love. Th-that wouldn't be right, right?" For whatever reason, his son seemed to strain that last word, emphasizing the question.

Perhaps locking him in his room, denying affection as punishment for the slightest act of defiance, and preventing him from having friends while keeping him on a starvation diet for his 40 hour a week job since he was 10 hadn't been conducive to healthy and stable emotional development.

Who could have known?

If Adrien had any uncertainty or discomfort regarding homosexual relationships, then he might well offend some of Gabriel's business partners who were quite open about their sexuality.

He'd have Nathalie explain things to the boy. Maybe give him a pamphlet.

That was the benefit of being the boss: delegating.

"It is true that one should not judge in that way, but Marinette betrayed your trust. Are you certain?" Gabriel queried, leaning in towards his son. "If you feel differently after you've had the time to mull, please let me know."

Adrien's eyes were constantly flicking towards the stairwell and back towards his father as if he had no idea what was going on.

So unsettled. He seemed to be squirming in discomfort. Had Gabriel unwittingly raised a homophobe, or, given that both those girls had dated him, a biphobe?

"Uh, well, I could use some time to process this," Adrien fumbled out while rearranging the cutlery before him. "Could we- could we reschedule the shoot tomorrow?"

"Of course." Actually, now that Gabriel mulled, both girls who had been in relationships with his son turned to a woman immediately after, or even during, the experience.

Perhaps Adrien's discomfort was because he had feelings that he did not know how to express.

Perhaps everything had been a ruse and he'd used them as "beards."

If so, just don't let it be the hat-boy.

Or perhaps there was some deficiency in his performance and his approach.

Nathalie would need more pamphlets.

"You may take tomorrow off and needn't worry about your piano practice this evening," Gabriel reassured his son.

There was a tortured creak of bed-springs and a throaty, ecstatic scream from above them, coming from the direction of Adrien's room.

Nathalie actually looked somewhat impressed. A little hot under the collar too.

It was rather awe-inspiring, considering the distance between Adrien's room and the dining area.

He'd call in the cleaners tomorrow.

"I will also have Nathalie prepare the guest bedroom for your use this evening as it seems that yours is occupied."

"Good. Good." Adrien smacked his lips and sucked down a breath, "Well, then, I-uh." He coughed and cleared his throat. "I had better see if the, uh, the girls need, um... anything."

Adrien was out the door so quickly that he practically back-kicked his chair into the wall, bounding the stairs three at a time.

Gabriel merely stared after his departed child. The noise of Adrien's scramble towards his room slowly faded to the echo of footsteps, then nothing.

Nathalie broke the ensuing silence.

"They- they've all been screwing each-other for a while now, right?"

"I believe that to be a reasonable assumption, yes," Gabriel responded, removing his glasses and withdrawing a cleaning cloth from his pocket to rub at the lenses absently.

"Good for you, son."

Gabriel just glared at Nathalie.

"What?" she asked, tucking her tablet under her arm with a frigid scowl. "It's not like he's your son."

"Touche, Nathalie," Gabriel deferred with a sigh. "Touche."