~Luz Noceda vs. The World~

Chapter One: The List

Turning into a giant, feral owl beast was an unpleasant experience, to be certain. But of all the bad things that came with it, not that there were any good things, Eda found that her least favorite aspect of her curse was that she couldn't remember what happened while she was transformed.

As her eyes adjusted to the light, Eda rubbed her head, trying to remember what had happened last night. "Ugh...why does it feel like someone put my head in a vice? Actually, on second thought, don't answer that." Either she had transformed again, or somebody had put a little something extra in her latest potion. Given that the first thing she saw was Luz and King looking over her with concern in their eyes, it was most likely the former. Or maybe both, who knows?

"Eda? Are you...okay?" asked Luz hesitantly.

The older witch found herself in the living room, laying against the couch. She got to her feet, stretching as she did so. "Yeah, I'm alright, kid," she said. "It's gonna take more that some stupid curse to keep ol' Eda...down…" She trailed off as she looked around the room. Furniture had been strewn all about, and numerous deep claw marks ran up and down the walls. It looked as though a wild animal had been on a rampage through the house-which is exactly what had happened. "Oh. Wow." Eda turned to the frightened pair. "I think a better question would be are you two okay?"

"Hoot hoot! No I'm not!" came a voice from outside. Nobody paid it any attention.

"Well, that depends on your definition of 'okay,'" said Luz. "Are we hurt? Like, physically? No. Are we absolutely terrified after spending the past hour or two narrowly avoiding death? ...Also no."

"You hesitated," Eda said, with a suspicious eyebrow raise.

"All I know is that I wasn't scared," said the tiny demon, a slight lilt in his voice indicating otherwise. "I can't speak for Luz, though."

"Yeah, we're fine!" Luz assured her. "You just...kinda went berserk for a bit. Nothing we couldn't handle, really!"

Eda wasn't so sure. When she took a step, her foot nudged against something on the floor; she leaned down to pick up an empty bottle of elixir. "So...I really transformed again, huh?" Luz and King nodded. Eda took another look at the chaos surrounding them. The whole room had been torn to shreds-and the two of them could have been, as well. "I could have sworn I took my potion earlier today. It...really must be getting worse, then."

"Yeah it is!" said King.

"King, shush!" said Luz. "Eda, what do you mean, it's getting worse?"

With a heavy sigh, Eda sat back down on the couch. Luz sat next to her, clearly concerned for her wellbeing. "Lately, I've noticed that these potions aren't working as well as they should be," she said. "And if what happened today was any indication, I'm going to need more of them to keep the curse at bay. And...I might be transforming more often if I don't…"

Immediately, Luz got to her feet. "Okay. Just tell me where to get some, and I'll be right back!"

"What? Woah, woah, slow down a minute, kid!" said Eda, getting to her feet as well. "Look, I appreciate that you're trying to help, but I can't just send you out to get more of these things!"

"Why not?" asked Luz. "I go into town all the time. I can just pick a few up really quick, it'll be no problem!"

"Yeah, it's not exactly that easy," Eda said. She held up the empty bottle: "This stuff isn't something you can just get at any old potion shop. Trust me, none of those retail places would have something this potent. And I would know, I've tried pretty much everything else." For just a moment, Eda seemed distracted, staring at the large claw marks in the wall. "You can only get these in the black market, and I don't want you running around with those characters."

"You mean criminals?" said Luz. "Aren't you on the run from the law, too?"

Eda set the bottle down on the table and walked over to the stairs. "Kid, there're two kinds of criminals on the Boiling Isles: rebels-criminals like me, and criminal-criminals. They're not all loveable rogues like I am: there's people out there who really do belong in the Conformatorium. But that's all I'll say about that. I'm going to bed." Ascending the staircase, Eda retreated up to her room for the night, even though the sun had only recently set.

Once in her room, she closed the door behind her, making sure to deadbolt it. She then took it a step further: Eda drew a spell circle in the air with her finger, which caused several magical chains to appear on the door, sealing it up even tighter. She clearly didn't want to be disturbed.

That, or she wanted to keep herself inside.

"I'd say we got off pretty easy," King said, surveying the damages. "Usually, she'd make us clean all this up."

"I'm just glad that same light spell trick worked again," said Luz, lying down on the couch. It, too, had been pretty torn up by Eda's latest episode. "King...did you notice anything strange about Eda just now?"

"You mean before or after she turned into a giant, killer owl monster?" said the tiny demon.

"I mean just now," Luz said. "Didn't it seem like she was really quick to get out of here? It's like, she asked if we were okay, told me I couldn't help with the potion, and then went off to bed. Doesn't that seem a little weird?"

"Not in the slightest," said King, placing himself on the couch beside Luz. "If I could turn into a giant killer demon, I'd probably be napping all day. Because I'd be tired from terrorizing the city all night." With that, the self-proclaimed king of demons curled up for a nap.

Luz huffed, slightly put off by King's lack of input. She leaned back, thinking. The first thing she thought of was how tired she was. Surviving an attack from, and also saving, an owl monster that was also your mentor/guardian was no easy feat. even though Luz had some practice with the matter. She was about to get up and head to bed early as well, when another thought crossed her mind: was her spell circle less effective this time?

True, this was only the second time she had had to deal with Owl Eda, but it had gone noticeably less smoothly this time around. Eda wasn't distracted by King this time around, so Luz had less time to draw the spell circle. It had been obviously rushed, and, unless her mind was playing tricks on her, less bright. It had still done the job, but who's to say it would in the future? And given what Eda had said about the potions not working, she definitely needed to hone her unique brand of magic.

Not much later, King found himself awoken by a bright light coming from the kitchen. His catlike curiosity got the better of him, and he hopped off the couch to see what was going on. In the other room, he found Luz, surrounded by several glowing balls of light. A piece of paper sat in front of her, and a pen was gripped tightly in her hand. Luz was still for a moment, seeming to collect herself-then she thrust the pen forward, rapidly sketching a circle on the paper, followed by a symbol connected to the ring. The symbol began to glow as the paper lifted into the air, crumpling into a ball until it, too, was one of the balls of light surrounding the human.

"Urgh, no good!" Luz said quietly. "Gotta try again...Oh! King! I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Maybe," King said. "What are you doing in here? I thought you were over being able to do that spell."

"I will never be over being able to do magic," said Luz, completely seriously. "But I do wish I could learn some new magic...anyway, I'm practicing! Eda could turn at any moment, and I need to be able to draw a spell circle as quickly as possible. A good spell circle, not like these."

King looked around at the glowing orbs hovering around the kitchen. "Are you sure?" he asked. "They don't really look that different."

"What do you mean?" asked Luz. She grabbed two of the spheres, holding them side by side to compare them. "You see? This one is way dimmer than this one!"

King only stared, skeptical.

"Okay, they may not look that different, but it could be the difference between us surviving, or being owl food." Luz reached down beside her, only to realize that she was out of paper. "Shoot, I've been practicing for longer than I thought. King, could you help me look for more paper?"

"Maybe," said King, crossing his arms. "What's in it for me?"

"Scratchies behind the ears!" Luz answered cheerfully.

"...deal." With that, King scampered off to find more sheets. The first place he looked was in a small closet where Eda kept much of her human paraphernalia.

"Hmmph. 'Scratchies behind the ears.' Am I really so easily bought?" King asked himself as he rummaged through the boxes for loose sheets of paper. He thought for a moment: "...Yes I am." After gathering an armful of blank papers, wanted posters of Eda, and pages torn from old books and magazines, King opened up the door, which caused something to fall out of a nearby box. "Eh? What's this?"

It was a crumpled-up piece of paper, seemingly covered in dust. He picked it up as well-no sense in leaving this one behind. With that, King returned to the kitchen.

King walked in at the same time Luz did, who was carrying a stack of paper as well. "Oh, I think we have more than enough!" she said. "I'll be a light-making master by the time we're through all of these!"

"Couldn't you be a light-making master in the morning?" asked King, placing the papers on the table. He hopped up onto a nearby chair, grabbing the crumpled-up paper he picked up. "I'm keeping this one as a voucher for my ear-scratchies." He unfolded the paper, preparing to write an I.O.U. on behalf of Luz, only to find that it was already covered in writing. "Huh? What gives? Someone already wrote all over this!" He slid it aside, grabbing a wanted poster. "Nevermind, I'll just use this one instead."

Luz picked up the discarded paper, struggling to read what was written on it. Not only did the wrinkles make it harder to read, but the handwriting wasn't very good, either. "It looks like it's some sort of list," she said. "I think these are names."

"Whose names?" asked King, who was turning the back of the wanted poster into a voucher for ear-scratchies.

The paper was indeed covered with names, but most of them had been crossed off. Only seven names remained of the twenty or so that were originally written.

"I don't know, but most of them are crossed off," said Luz. "I wonder if-" Luz's eyes suddenly went wide, staring off into the distance. "Dios mio, I think this is a hit list! I knew Eda had a dark past, but I didn't think she was some sort of assassin!"

"I suddenly find myself interested," said King, hopping onto the table to get a better look at the list. "Hey, I know that guy! Sort of…"

"Huh?" said Luz. "Which guy?"

"That one," said King, pointing at one of the crossed off names. "Rikkus Severman.' Eda sells him potions. She doesn't like him that much, 'cause they used to date."

"Wait, is he that guy that runs the sewing shop?" asked Luz. King nodded. "Yeah, I remember him. He seemed pretty disappointed when I delivered his potion that one time."

"I'll bet he wanted to see Eda," King said. "He's always flirting with her when she comes by."

"So, if this isn't a hit list, what is it?" Luz said. She read off the names that remained. "Let's see...we've got 'Belial Blackwood,' 'Lester Archoman,' 'Kade Murkwater,' 'Alec Glyphman,' 'Bartleby Nocturna,' 'Brigsby Redwing,' and...I can't read this last one. Do you know any of these people?"

King shrugged. "Some of them sound familiar, but I don't know where I heard them. Maybe they're just people Eda knows?"

"Maybe..." said Luz. "But why would she write them down like this, unless she wanted to remember them?" She quickly scanned the crossed out names. "I don't see anyone that I recognize. King, it looks like we have a mystery on our hands!"

"Cool," said King, unenthused. "Can the mystery-solving wait 'til tomorrow? Kingy needs his beauty sleep."

"Sure thing, sleepyhead!" said Luz, picking up the tiny demon and placing him under her arm. "I'm pretty tired, too. Should probably turn in for the night. We'll ask Eda about it in the morning…"

Eda awoke the next morning to the welcome revelation that she was, in fact, still herself. No feathers, no talons, and no teeth where there shouldn't be teeth. Although, just to be sure, she reached out beside her nest and grabbed the nearest bottle of potion she could find, downing the whole thing before she even stood up.

After a few minutes of mentally psyching herself up, Eda managed to pull herself up out of bed. She made her way over to the door, only remembering that she had magically locked it once she ran into it when she tried to open it. Grumbling, she drew a spell circle, dissipating the magically summoned chains.

Just before she was about to head downstairs, Eda paused. She turned back into the room, her eyes fixed on the several empty bottles lying beside her nest. She opened the drawer-there were several potions still left, but just the other day, it seemed like there had been at least three times this amount. Just in case, Eda picked up one of the bottles, storing it in her wild mane of hair before heading down the stairs.

"Alright, kid, what're we doing today?" said Eda upon reaching the living room. "What's that? Nothing? If you say so! I-" Eda stopped her rambling, surprised to see both Luz and King waiting for her, looking like they had been up for a while. "Okay, so probably not nothing, then…"

"Gooood morning, Eda!" said Luz, leaning forward slightly, her hands held behind her back. "You're looking well-rested today!"

Eda yawned, sitting herself down at the table next to King, who was currently trying to tear open a packet of mini-donuts. "Kid, I haven't been well-rested since the Boiling Isles were still up and walking around." Noticing Luz's quizzical expression, she soon added "That was a joke. You do have hyperbole in the human realm, right?"

"Huh? ...Oh, right!" Only momentarily distracted, Luz soon regained her chipper attitude. "Anyway, me and King were talking last night, and we thought it might be fun to, oh, I dunno, do some exploring around the Boiling Isles! You know, just to see what there is to see! I can't be a witch without knowing about my surroundings, after all!"

Eda's eyes narrowed. "Alright, what's this about? Do you want something? Are you trying to butter me up so I'll take you someplace dangerous? Because I'll do it. Don't think I won't. ...What're you holding, anyway?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing important," said Luz, holding up the list for just a moment. "I was practicing my light spell last night, just in case, nothing to worry about."

Eda, however, did seem worried, or at the very least, concerned. "Wait...where did you get that!?" She jumped to her feet, startling Luz.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" said Luz. She hid the paper behind her back, only further arousing Eda's suspicion. "It's just a piece of paper, it's not suspicious at all!"

Without a word, Eda drew a spell circle in the air. The page pulled itself from Luz's grip, flying into Eda's waiting hand. The witch glanced at the paper, before setting it down on the table. "What were you doing going through my stuff in the first place?"

"I...like I said, I was practicing my magic," Luz said. "I asked King to find some papers for me to practice with, and he found it in a closet."

Eda looked over at the tiny demon, who had finally got the package open and was chowing down. "...What?" he asked. "Whatever it is I was accused of, I'm innocent. Unless it was cool and/or terrifying."

"Were you rummaging through my things again?" asked Eda. "Also, who said you could have donuts for breakfast?"

"I was, and I did," replied King. "So, are you gonna tell us about your hit list?"

Eda couldn't help but laugh at this comparison. "Alright, I'll tell you. For the cost of one of these." She picked up one of the mini-donuts, popping it into her mouth. Luz sat down across from her, ready to learn the mystery of the mysterious list.

"No, it's not a hit list," she said, to King's disappointment. "For some of the guys on it, I almost wish it was, though…" There was clear venom in her voice at this remark.

"So...what is it, then?" asked Luz.

"I'm getting to that, don't interrupt," Eda continued. "So, it has to do with my curse. I...to tell the truth, I'm not exactly sure who it is that cursed me. And by that, I mean I have no idea whatsoever."

"Ah! So these are people you think could've cursed you!" said Luz. "That explains why most of them are crossed off."

"Yup, pretty much," Eda said. "One thing, though: this isn't a list of just anyone-it's a list of all of my exes."

"Oh, okay, wow," said Luz. "You, uh...you have a lot of exes."

"Yeah I do," Eda said proudly. "And each one of them probably had reason to curse me. So, I made a list of everyone I've ever been in a relationship with, and started tracking 'em down, one by one. Nothing. Some of 'em didn't even know about the curse, and with the ones who did, it seemed like it was either before or after our time together. After a while, I gave up."

"Just like that?" asked Luz. "But you were so close! The guy who cursed you could be one of these seven people!"

Eda glanced at the list. "Six. I think that last name's just a smudge."

"But that's still six people who are potential suspects! The shadowy warlock who cursed you could be out there somewhere, waiting to strike again!" Luz stared out the window, glaring at nothing.

"Or, he could be sitting in his basement somewhere, waiting for the curse to take effect," said Eda. "Or maybe he doesn't even remember he cursed me to begin with."

"Eda, don't say that!" said Luz. "Who would do something so horrible, like putting an evil owl curse on someone, and then just forget about it?" She picked up the list. "I'm telling you, that lowlife is out there somewhere, and I'm getting to the bottom of it!"

"The only thing you're getting to the bottom of is your cereal bowl," Eda said, standing up and going over to the pantry. "I don't want you getting involved with these people. Most of 'em I broke up with for a reason."

"Buuuuut...what if I had an uber-powerful witch come with me to protect me from the evils of her ex-boyfriends?"

Eda sighed, turning to face the human. "You're not gonna let up on this anytime soon, are you?"

"Nope!" Luz said cheerfully, shaking her head.

"Welp...guess I didn't have anything better to do today," she said.

"Yes!" exclaimed Luz, jumping up in the air with excitement. "Looks like it's time for the inaugural mission of Luz, Eda, and King: Ace Detectives!"

"And also Hooty!" came a voice from outside.

"Uh, and also Hooty," added Luz.

AN: Yay, my first Owl House 'fic! Probably not my only, but we'll see. So, yeah, the title's a pun just in case you didn't notice. 'Cause evil exes. Anyway, Eda mentioned in the show that she had quite a few exes, so I basically just took that and ran with it. I can't think of anything else to say here, so enjoy the story. Or don't, whatevs.