A/N: This is set during the episode "Always". It is for EvaKAlways. Thank you, Natalie Elizabeth and LittleLizzieZentara. Without you, this story would not have been possible. Happy birthday Eva!

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. Castle belongs to Andrew Marlowe and ABC.

Tigerless

"Well, I guess there's just nothing I can say, is there? Okay, um… Yeah, you're right, Kate. It's your life. You can throw it away if you want, but I'm not going to stick around to watch you. So, this is um… over. I'm done."

Castle turns his back to Kate heading for the apartment door.

Something triggers inside Kate. She takes a few quick steps to catch Castle before he can leave her apartment. Kate grabs his arm. "Castle, wait."

Castle turns a little toward her. "Kate, I love you. I love you too much to watch you throw your life away." He turns back toward the door.

Kate stops him again. "Rick, will you just please hear me out?"

He turns around, completely facing her. "I know what you're going to say. You're going to explain to me why you have to pursue this. You're going to tell me how important this is to you. Believe me Kate, I know what all this means to you. It's the reason you became a cop. Because of that case, you won't let people in. Your mom's case is what drives you. Have you ever thought about what would happen to your dad if he lost you, too? You know what your mom's case did to him. Who's to say he won't go down the same road again, or even worse? What about the other people who love you and care about you?"

"Castle, I…"

He puts his hand up to stop her. "I know that this is important to you, so you can move on with your life and have the kind of relationships you want. But there is no guarantee that you will come out of it alive. I don't want to lose you, Kate. Right now, it feels like I'm in a no-win situation. You pursue this, I lose you. I walk away because I can't watch, I lose you."

Kate can see the tears in Castle's eyes. She makes eye contact as she takes a step closer towards him while discretely pulling out her handcuffs. "Castle, you're not going to lose me."

"How do you know that? You want to go after those guys. Those guys will end up killing you. That means… I lose you."

Kate takes the last few steps to enter his space. While keeping eye contact, she puts one of the cuffs on his wrist and puts the other end of the cuffs onto her own wrist.

Castle breaks eye contact to look down at their joined wrists. "What the heck is this? What are you doing?" He looks back into Kate's eyes.

"Well, you wouldn't shut up to let me talk and explain. You are not going to lose me. I won't let that happen."

He gives her a confused look. "I don't understand."

"Will you shut up and listen and let me explain?"

Castle gives her a nod.

"I know you know me better than anybody else. However, you were wrong on what I was going to say."

"Then what were you going to say?"

Kate jerks down on the handcuffs that have their wrists joined together. "I'll tell you if you just shut up. For once, please just stop talking."

"I'm sorry. Continue."

She looks down at the ground, sighs, and looks back into his blue eyes. "I stopped you, because I wanted to tell you that I'm not going to go after those guys. You're right that my mother's case is important to me, but you're also important to me. You have made life more fun."

He tries to get a read on her but can't figure it out. "What are you saying?"

"I have hurt you too many times, Castle. I haven't always realized when I was actually hurting you, but this time, I can see it written all over your face. You look as if you have been emotionally defeated. You have tears in your eyes. I have caused you emotional pain. I am so sorry. In the ways I've hurt you, they were never intentional. It was more of protecting myself. A defense mechanism, if you will."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Without breaking eye contact, she grabs his hand that is cuffed to hers and leads him to her bedroom.

Castle's breath hitches as they enter the bedroom. "Uh, Kate? What are we doing in your room? You're not going to torture me, are you?"

Kate walks the two of them over to her bed and they take a seat. "No, Castle. I'm not going to torture you." She pauses for a moment. "Although, that would be kind of fun."

"Kate. Seriously, what are we doing in here? I mean, I'm flattered that you wanted to show me your room…"

"Castle, just listen to me."

Castle looks into Kate's eyes and gives her a nod.

Kate lets out a sigh before she continues. "This is not easy for me to say. I'm not great with words. You're the wordsmith." She looks down and takes a deep breath before looking back up at Castle. "I do care about you. Probably more than you know."

Castle squeezes her hand to give her encouragement.

She squeezes his hand in return, to acknowledge the message was received. "Four years ago, you came into my life. You came into my life whether I wanted you to or not. But over the past years I've grown to like you. I've gotten to learn more about who you are, as the person the public doesn't get a chance to see. You're not a bad guy, Castle. You're a really good guy. A great guy, even. Which makes me wonder why you've been married and divorced twice."

Castle opens his mouth to speak, but Kate puts her hand up to stop him.

"No, I don't want to know. It's just my curiosity. I may want to know the answer some day, but not right now."

He nods in understanding. "Kate? What are you getting at?"

Kate releases the hand that she was holding, reaches up to put his face in both of her hands, and gives him a gentle kiss on the lips. "I love you too, Castle. I've just been afraid."

Castle's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Afraid of what?"

She lets go of his face to grab both of his hands in hers and looks deep into his eyes. "I've been afraid of losing another person I love."

He uses his thumbs to rub circles on the back of Kate's hands. "Kate, I'm right here. I always have been, and I always will be. It's okay to be afraid."

"I know, but I just didn't want to hurt like that again. It's why I was keeping you at a distance. I was afraid of getting too close to you."

"What about Josh and Demming?"

"What about them?"

"Did you keep them at a distance?"

"No. You know I didn't. You know that with them, I kept one foot out the door."

"Why did you give them a chance and not me?"

"Because, Castle. They weren't you."

"How does that make any sense?"

"I liked them. I thought they were good guys, but I was never in love with them. It was easier to be in a relationship with them, when I knew there wasn't going to be a future. I think of them as test boyfriends."

"Test boyfriends."

"Yes. They were getting me ready for the relationship I want to have… with you. But, even when I was dating them, I was still spending more time with you, and having more fun." She bites her bottom lip. "So, I guess I was cheating on them, with you." She tilts her head and furrows her brows. "Or was I cheating on you, with them?"

Castle shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. He gets an itch on his nose. He lifts his hand up to scratch it, when he sees Kate's hand come up with his. "Uh, Kate?"

"What?"

"Will you take the cuffs off now?"

Kate thinks about it for minute. "No, not yet."

Castle gives her a confused look. "Why? What are you going to do?"

Kate stands up in front of Castle, places her hands on his shoulders and pushes him back onto the bed. She puts her left knee down on the bed first, next to Castle's right hip, followed by her right knee next to his left hip. Kate places her right hand on his chest and leans over to give him a kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Castle wraps his left arm around Kate's shoulders and pulls her down close to his chest and kisses her again.

"Castle?"

"Hmm?"

"Wouldn't it be more comfortable if we moved up toward the top, away from the foot of the bed?"

"Mmm…. Okay."

Castle uses his arms and legs to scoot himself up the bed. Kate, still straddling Castle, walks on her knees up the bed. Once Castle is settled against the pillows, he reaches for Kate. She lays herself on top of him. As she settles herself down, Kate places kisses to Castle's jawline and ends with a deep passionate kiss to his lips.

"Castle?"

"Kate?"

She rests her head on his chest, just below his chin. "I'm not going to get hurt, am I?"

Castle slides out from under Kate, to roll over onto his side so he can look her in the eyes. "Kate, I've been right here with you for 4 years. You and I have both been hurt. Why would I hurt you? The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for as long as you'll have me."

Kate gets tears in her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, either. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm yours forever."

Castle smiles and rolls over on top of her. He braces himself on his right elbow and uses his left hand to brush the hair away from Kate's face. He gives her a kiss on the forehead and leaves a trail of kisses down to her mouth. He pulls away for some air, but she takes her right arm and puts it around his neck to bring him back down to her mouth.

It's the middle of the night and the handcuffs have been removed. They are sitting on Kate's bedside table. Kate rolls over to get out of bed.

Castle reaches over to stop her. "Stay in bed."

"I'll be right back. I promise." She gives him a quick kiss on the lips. "I need to pee."

Castle moans. "Hurry back. The bed is getting cold without you."

Kate grabs Castle's shirt off the floor and puts it on over her naked body. She quickly goes to the bathroom and goes back to bed with Castle sound asleep. She climbs back into bed next to him. Kate curls into his side and kisses his cheek. "I'm back."

"Awesome. Now, go back to sleep."

Kate taps her fingers on his bare chest. "I can't."

He opens one eye and looks at her. "Why not? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just feel like I'm dreaming."

Castle opens his other eye and turns onto his side to look at Kate. He does a double take. "You're wearing my shirt."

"Yeah. I needed to wear something to the bathroom. Your shirt was the first thing I saw, so I picked it up and put it on."

"I'm not upset you're wearing my shirt. It's actually kind of… sexy."

Kate gives him the typical Beckett, shy smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to distract you. What were you going to say, Castle?"

Castle looks her up and down, taking in the image of Kate Beckett wearing his shirt. "Oh, I was going to say, I feel like I'm dreaming too."

She leans in to give him a kiss. "See, Castle?"

"What?"

"The next time we were cuffed together, we were tigerless."

"Oh, yeah. And you were also right about one other thing."

"And what would that be?"

"You were right when you said that I would have no idea."

"Oh yeah? Was it that good?"

"Best… night… ever."

The End

A/N: Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this story. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please be sure to check out stories from LittleLizzieZentara and Natalie Elizabeth. 4 and a half years ago they encouraged me to start writing. They tell great stories and they are great friends! Thank you ladies!