Chapter Four: Home

It's like the farm hasn't changed at all. The same grass, the same sheep, the same forest surrounding it. And, best of all, the same Dina and Potato waiting for me when I get back. It feels weird, coming home.

I traveled back with Tommy. We didn't say a single solitary word to each other, all journey long.

I…I honestly don't know if he'll ever talk to me again. It feels awful, just like it did when I wasn't talking to Joel. But that time, I was the one who didn't want to talk. This time it's him. Did Joel feel the same way? Did he also feel like he deserved it? As if he really had made a terrible mistake? But he'd told me he would do the same thing again, if he had another chance. And I…I would probably also do the same thing. Probably. I don't know.

I think Dina knows I'm not…completely home, yet, because she's pretty quiet and she's not trying to get me to talk about what happened.

I go up to my workshop, take out the guitar, and sit in the chair next to the window. What would Joel say about all of this? Would he approve? Would he hate me for not avenging him properly? I have no doubt that Joel would have killed anyone who harmed me. Tommy definitely wasn't wrong on that account. Fuck, I still don't know if letting Abby go, twice, was the right call or not. It doesn't feel like it, not one bit. But…if this means that Jackson is safe now, at least from crazy idiots like this…yeah, then it's worth it. I begin to strum the guitar, those old familiar chords that Joel had taught me in a different life. "If I ever were to lose you, I'd surely lose myself…"

Bit of a short ending, I know. But honestly, the whole story ended up much longer than I thought it would. Again, I wrote this in the middle of the night. It's not going to be very polished, but if I didn't finish it now I never would have finished it. See you next time!