Sorry, I just had to let this all out first. Skip this chapter if you don't want to read my rant.

I finished the game five days ago since I wrote this. And now, finally, I can process what I feel about TLOU Part II.

I liked it. A lot.

I couldn't sleep after I finished it (at 2.30 AM), gave me a headache afterwards. It fucked me up real bad and I was devastated by what Ellie had to go through.

When I finally get the game safely in my hands, I was pretty excited despite what everyone says. (I didn't really know of the backlash back then since I've been avoiding the spoilers and everything concerning the game like the plague. I wanted to have no bias or prior judgment of what people might've said before I can decide it for myself.) So, here I go with a smile on my face when I played the first hour of the playthrough. It went alright so far. Beautiful scenery, great beginning story when they show us Joel and Ellie bonding over the guitar. And then of the lives they had at Jackson. Of Jesse, Dina and the snowball fights.

And then, I had to control Abby. I was confused and a bit annoyed. I didn't know this character. Didn't care about her in any way and suddenly I had to navigate my way for her to get inside Jackson? WTH? Where are my girl Ellie and my man Joel? And when Abby kills Joel, tortured and killing him slowly, (Fuck!) I now know where the hate came from.

I know why NaughtyDog decided to kill Joel. I understand it. I honestly thought that Dina would be the one that gets killed. But, it wouldn't weigh as much as Joel, the man that we love and root for in the first game. (I just wished that they didn't have to butcher him so early on and so stupidly. Joel letting his guard down with a bunch of armed strangers? Really? He's smarter than that!). So, Ellie going on a vengeance spree is really in character. Hell, I was pretty excited myself when we get to Seattle and I can finally play as Ellie.

Fuck Abby! I'm going to kill her and kill everyone that gets in my way!

But, of course, things didn't go that way. After Nora, I was starting to feel bad. Not because the woman's dead but because how much it broke Ellie. She made her talk. And torturing someone can damage and fucked you up as bad (or worse, since you're alive) as the victim. Unless you're a psychotic maniac *cough*Abby*cough*. And it got worse when Ellie accidentally killed Mel and the baby. Though really, it was self-defence in my opinion. If I was pregnant and someone with a gun threatened me, I would beg first and attack later. But, no, Mel is strong and can get the upper hand. Mel must have thought; hey, what could go wrong with me and the fetus in my belly if I were to jump at the desperate girl with a gun?

Seriously, Mel. You hated Abby, so why Mel? Why?

But whatever. Fuck Mel. Fuck Owen. Fuck Manny. I don't care about any of them.

So when Tommy and Jesse save Ellie after and planned to go back home, I was inclined with the idea too. Ellie has been through so much and it wasn't worth it. And then Abby happened. Goddamn it!

And the screen goes to black and I had to play as Abby?! Again?!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ND!!!

You expect me to forget that massive cliffhanger and lay back for a change of view at this moment?! Right after she killed Jesse, hurting Tommy and pointing a gun at Ellie?! Fucking really?!

Like everyone, I was forced to do just that. I go along as the story from Abby's POV evolves. So, we get to meet her father, them saving a Zebra, her love interest, blah blah and more blah. I know where this is going and I'm not buying it. Even when I had to actually play, my excitement has died down by now. I don't care to search for parts and supplies. I just want to get this over with so that I can get to Ellie again. But, it got harder to survive when you have no resources. And you don't know just how much I let Abby died getting bitten and gunned down by the Seraphites. LOL.

Until one day, I decided I'm going to play properly. Screw Abby, I still hate her. But, I'm going to play properly. And I have to admit, the game experience is nice and challenging. I especially love the monster in the hospital. The Rat King Boss Fight. It was exhilarating. And the sky bridge and the Island burning to the ground was an experience. It was everything (and more) a survival game should be.

And before I know it, we're getting closer to the event where we left off. And I was getting excited again. I thought I could play as Ellie but no, now I have to hunt down my girl and beat her bloody? Fuck you ND! And Fuck Abby for wanting to slit Dina's throat even after knowing she's pregnant. Lucky Lev is there. He's the only other character that I'm starting to care about while playing Abby's POV. Him and Yara. No one else.

The Farm. It was so damn sweet. Ellie was living the dream with Dina and JJ. Did they name their son after Jesse and Joel? Damn it, let me just cry in my corner. Ellie is trying her best to live a normal life. But, she just can't. And when she left, I was sad and angry but I understand. So, let's go kill the bitch and get this over with.

But when we finally got to it I find myself saying, no. I don't want to kill Abby anymore. When Ellie got her pinned down, I was hoping for Ellie to stop. And it frustrates me to no end because I hated Abby with all my gut and yet I don't want Ellie to finish her.

I don't understand why at that time but now I think I know. When Ellie put a knife on Lev's throat, something changed. That's not the Ellie that I know-That I love and support. She shouldn't have threaten the kid. And when she finally got the upper hand and Abby would surely die, I was thinking what next? Will Ellie kill Lev too? Maybe she would just leave him there to rot and die. Or maybe by some miracle, he'd live, but then he would have no one by his side anymore. Much like Abby when Joel killed her father and much like Ellie when Abby killed Joel. And what if Lev decided to seek revenge later? Ultimately the vengeance will go on. The cycle will never end.

I want Ellie to stop because I want to save my girl. I want Ellie to realize killing Abby would not bring back Joel and I don't want Ellie to lose any more of herself. I want her to go back home. To Dina and JJ. That's what Joel would want for her baby girl. To live and be happy.

Overall, the game is splendid. And the story; I think NaughtyDog succeed in making me feel what they wanted me to feel. I still hated Abby though and her father too. Despite the Doctor doing what he thought was right. I still think it's pretty fucked up to not ask consent from Ellie. They didn't even wait for her to recover from the drowning or say her last goodbye to Joel. She has the right to know and to make the decision to sacrifice HER own life or not. Joel did the right thing here, saving Ellie. Even if the Fireflies managed to produce a cure. I doubt they have what it takes to produce more for everyone. Even in the real world, with all the latest technology, we can't still produce COVID-19 vaccine and to say theycanin a post-apocalyptic world is bullshit. And Abby saying if she's immune, she would want the surgery—Oh, Fuck off Abby! You're not immune, so shut it!

TLOU Part II has its flaws and beauties. And alltogether it was a new gaming experience for me which I appreciate and applaud ND for. I love every moment when we get flashbacks of Joel and Ellie. The space station scene especially was achingly heartwarming. It was the best scene IMO. As some reviewers said, the game is a beautiful nightmare and a flawed masterpiece which I think captured the essence of the game perfectly.

That's why I liked it. A lot. And if I had to rate it, I would give it a 7/10. It could be a 10/10 only if they put more Joel and less Abby.

P.S: I will post my version of the Epilogue soon. Stay tuned. In the meantime, feel free to agree or disagree with my points above. What's your experience like playing the game?