AN: Yup another snippets thread because why not. I do in fact have non worm story ideas to share after all.

This is a One Piece story. But it's nothing like the normal stuff I've seen from that fandom. I've tossed multiple sticks of dynamite into the water and the ripples are all over the place. I've skipped ahead to the Baratai because the early recruitments are boring. Don't expect this to be anything like canon, just sit back and watch the chaos and changes unfold. I didn't actually get around to demonstrating Lucy's devil fruit. Honestly it just wasn't needed. Which amused me to no end.

One thing I will say now. If this ever gets continued I'd write it in first person and limit the POV to mainly, or entirely, the captain. This would seriously cut down arc lengths to something reasonable. Covering every last fight in detail is one of my larger issues with this fandom.

Otherwise just pay attention or you might miss some of the changes I've made. (yes it's a fem Luffy) Hope you all enjoy!

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The smoke cleared around Don Kreig. The man stood tall in the golden Armor his clothes had hidden. He opened his mouth wide, no doubt planning to start bragging about something.

So I shot him in the neck.

The moron dropped to the floor clutching at the tattered, bloody ruin of his throat with a look of incomprehension on his face. Gin cried out in shock and the chefs just looked on, stunned.

Blowing out a breath, I calmly reloaded my pistol before placing it back in its holster on my right hip.

"Well that was boring." I declared drawing a number of looks. Zoro smirked and shook his head, and Kuina gigled behind her hand, both Nami and Usopp looked queasy. Neither of them was really used to violence like this yet. Oh well, they'd get used to it eventually. That or decide bounty hunting wasn't for them. Be a shame to lose people with their skills, but I couldn't exactly make them adapt. They would or they wouldn't, simple as that.

"Hey, Sanji, it's fine like this right? Since he didn't die hungry, yeah?" I shot the blond a toothy grin that usually set the animals back home on edge.

Sanji lit a cigarette and took a deep drag before replying. "Suppose so." He finally admitted with a shrug. "Oy, Gin, how many left on that tub out there need food still?"

That finally rattled the pirate out of his trance as he looked up from his captain with unseeing eyes. He didn't answer the question, even as the chefs started shouting at Sanji. He just scanned the crowd until his eyes settled on me. Then a spark of recognition and rage burst across his face as he launched himself at me, weighted tonfa whirling.

I didn't bother to move. The rasp of steel was the only warning Gin got before Zoro moved past him. Gin's left leg gave out under him and he screamed. Zoro had cut to the bone above and below the knee leaving Gin collapsed just three feet from me.

Standing, I casually kicked the glairing pirate in the head hard enough to knock him out.

"Sorry about the blood on your floor, old man." I called out to the head chef as I moved to the door. "I'll take the body outside for the next bit. Beheadings are messy, but it shouldn't be an issue if I get him over the edge of the boat for that. Damn Marine's. Pictures of the corpse should be plenty of evidence, but nooo~ they have to have a preserved head." I lightly complained.

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I carefully secured the lid on the small barrel of formaldehyde I dropped the idiot's head into before going topside. I took a brief moment to smile up at the flag flying from our main mast. The snarling wolf's head was done in black, with streaks of electric blue seemingly crackling through the fur at random. In place of eyes were golden beli coins and the flag flew on a white background the word 'bounty' ran along the bottom of the flag in black block letters.

With a satisfied grin I jumped back to the restaurant from Merry's deck. Zoro, proving that even he could be thoughtful sometimes, tossed me a few dish rags soaked in water. Or it could be Kuina browbeat him into it. Eh, whatever. I shot my first mate a grin and set to cleaning off my hands. There was still food on my plate and I wasn't going to ruin the taste with blood and chemicals.

Before I could make it to the door the air rang with the noise of cracking wood and a sound like the mother of all axes burying itself in a stump. I spun just in time to see the floating wreck Krieg had sailed up in split in two.

I whistled lowly at the sight. The cut looked clean, but no blade in the world was that big. So the question became was that a devil fruit at work, or was there someone in the area taking a vacation from the Grand Line? I grabbed my boar spear and stood ready, scanning the horizon. I wasn't going to take chances until I knew who was out there and what exactly they wanted.

"Lucy?" Zoro asked with a cautious edge to his voice.

"Don't know." I said without taking my eyes off the horizon, "I've heard stories of people who can pull off things like that, but they're all supposed to be Grand Line vets, and I only half believed those stories before this." Then I saw him. "There." I gestured with the tip of my spear.

The man was tall and well muscled, dressed in black with a massive sword resting across his back. His boat was a tiny little thing. More of a floating coffin then a real boat. Even as far away as he was, he screamed danger and power to anyone willing to pay attention. My instincts were always paying attention.

"The hell is someone like that doing here?" I might not have recognized him, but then I barely ever got the paper before leaving home, so that was no surprise. Not that I could read all that well to begin with... damn mountain bandits. I was improving though! Still, I didn't need to recognize him to know he was dangerous. Everything about him just screamed it.

The idiots crew, what was left of it at any rate, seemed evenly split between drowning and dragging their sorry buts onto the restaurants deck. Something caught my eye and judging by how fast the coffin boat moved… well I had a few minutes so I might as well.

Humming I moved over to one of the few grunts to make it onto the ship and pulled the gun off of his back. A breech loading rifle. Very nice, much faster than the normal muzzle loaders like my pistol. Just the kind of thing I'd been looking for. When the grunt started to protest, I knocked him over the head with the but of the rifle and rooted around looking for his ammo. I grinned as I stripped him of the waterproof hip pouch absolutely full of musket balls and gunpowder. The powder was even nicely wrapped in bits of paper to make loading that much faster.

"Hey, Usopp, catch!" I tossed the sniper his new weapon and ammo through the restaurant doors. He nearly fumbled them but managed to hug both to his chest in the end. "Hang onto the slingshot if you want, but that's got the kind of stopping power you really need. Though you should clean the salt water off as soon as you can."

My sniper stammered something, but I was already back to focusing on the fast approaching threat.

"Those eyes," Zoro muttered. "It's really him." He pulled the bandanna from his arm and tied it over his head. "Kuina! He's here, Hawkeye is here!"

Ah, shit.

The raven haired woman was by Zoro's side in an instant, the slamming of the restaurant doors was the only proof she hadn't teleported there. Her pixie cut actually took a moment to catch up with the rest of here before settling back down. She wore khaki slacks and a dark grey short sleeved shirt.

The two were an interesting duo. Speed and strength, one sword and two, woman and man. Both dead set to be the best swords person in the world… and yet at the end of the day they were pretty evenly matched.

If you gave Kuina room to maneuver she would run rings around Zoro. Him having two blades and the strength to fend off her attacks with just one kept those fights from being a slaughter but she would still always be at least a few steps ahead of him.

But if you limited their mobility, or Zoro cornered her? He could and would power through her defense.

It always made me want to question the 'world's greatest swords person' thing. There were always other factors that went into who would win a fight. Skill was important. but fighting style, the environment, and even luck all played a role in any fight. I was half convinced the two of them only carried on with their constant 'duels' for nostalgia and practice. It could be some weird mating ritual. Some of the tigers back home would half heartedly fight with their mates regularly just to test one another.

Wait, didn't Nami say there was a different word for it when it was people? Flirting? Yeah, flirting. Still, same concept.

No, wait, not important right now. My swordsman and swordswoman about to commit suicide by Grand Line veteran! Much more important than their strange mating ritual.

"Kuina… Zoro…" Neither so much as twitched. "You two aren't nearly on his level yet. You do know that, right?" No response. Don't think they even heard me. Damn it to hell. "If you two get yourselves killed I'm giving your swords to the first beggar I see!" I threatened.

That finally snapped them out of it. Or at least Kuina at any rate.

"Over my dead body!" She shouted as she clutched her sheathed blade to her chest.

"Which is exactly the state you'll be in if you fight him." I deadpanned as I pointed towards the approaching swordsman. "He just made an air blade that cut a galleon in two." I stressed.

I had Zoro's attention now too. Despite what I said the pair of them looked even more eager to fight.

"Maybe just a little spar?" Kuina murmured as she licked her lips.

I smacked my head against the shaft of my spear. Damn it all to hell and back! I wasn't even out of the East Blue and I already had to worry about the toughest members of my crew getting themselves killed! This was supposed to be the portion of the trip where I didn't have to constantly worry about getting in over our collective heads! But no, a freaking Warlord just had to come cruising into the East Blue on a lark!

There had to be some way to distract them… that might work. They would be pissed at me later, but if it worked, they were less likely to get killed…

"Yeah, just a little spar." Zorro murmured. "I'll be back in just a sec." Zoro started to draw his swords even as he began to step forward. There was a blur of motion and Kuina was in front of him, her sword swiping at his chest. Zoro drew both of his blades in a hasty block. The crash of steel echoing over the moans of Kriegs few surviving men.

"What the hell, woman!" Zoro snapped.

"Don't you give me that bullshit, Zoro!" Kuina snarled. "What gives you the right to challenge Mihawke before me?!"

Then again, they might just go and do what I was planning on their own without my interference… I leaned back against the wall of the Baritai watching and hoping this would play out as I suspected.

"I just called it, obviously!" The green haired swordsman snarled.

"You called it?" Kuina snarked. "That's the best you've got? Screw that, we both know I'm better than you with a sword. I should be the one to fight Mihawke!"

Zoro, no longer content with just blocking Kuina's strike, started to push back against her blade. "Oh, you think you're better than me, do you?" He growled.

"Damn right I do!" She snarled.

"Then there's only one way to settle this." Zoro smirked and hopped back a couple steps.

Kuina's smile was feral as she settled into her stance. "I suppose you're right."

And just like that, they were off again. The ring of clashing steel filled the air. Mihawke raised an eyebrow and watched for a moment. He looked… well idly curious. Like it was mildly interesting, but only due to the lack of better entertainment. Then he simply shrugged and turned his little boat around.

I very carefully did not point out that fact to the fighting 'not couple'.

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I ignored the sulking sword users as I locked eyes with my future chef. "Really, now you're ready to join up? What changed?"

Sanji moved to the railing and took a long draw from his cigarette. He carefully blew out a smoke ring, something I hadn't seen him do before. "The old bastard and I had a talk." He admitted with a shrug. "The All Blue was his dream too, you know? But I can't find it for either of us sitting here. I've got to get out there for that." He tried to play it off as a minor thing, but I could tell there was a lot of emotions simmering just under the surface. Still, wasn't my place to pry.

"Alright then." I declared with a big grin. "We're leaving at first light. Nami's been hesitating something fierce about officially joining, but I got the name of her home town out of her a few weeks back. We're heading there next. It's time to solve this little mystery and secure our navigator once and for all. You can sign the ships articles before we shove off.

"Oh, what exactly are the ships articles." He asked with a raised swirly brow.

"Eh, the usual. Deckhands get one share, officers, which the chef is, get two, captain gets three. The rest goes to the crew fund and supplies. Mutineers get used as live seaking bait." I shrugged. "Fun is fine, but no means no. Anyone has a major issue they bring it to me and we try to resolve it. That's the broad strokes of it anyway. Any issues with that?"

Sanji chuckled throatily before bowing with a flourish. "Not at all, lovely lady captain." The blond chef proclaimed with a grin.

I just responded with one of my feral smirks. "Good. Might be a bit early yet, but all the same, welcome to the crew, Sanji." My piece said I moved back to my ship. Tomorrow was bound to be interesting and I would likely need the rest.

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"Alright Nami, set course for Conomi island." I said. I kept her in my peripheral, but also made a show of not looking at her.

The orange haired young woman stiffened visibly. From where I stood, I could see Kuina's focus snap onto the Navigator. Usopp remained oblivious as he focused on cleaning his new rifle, and Zoro was having enough trouble just paying attention to the rigging. I couldn't see Sanji from where I was standing, but given the flirt's priorities he had likely noticed as well.

"Ah, Conomi island?" Nami swallowed reflexively. "Why would you want to head there? Nothing but tangerines there."

"Oh, well, you know." I shrugged. "Always a good plan to stock up on citrus when you're planning a journey at sea. Besides, your hometown is there right? Once we leave the East Blue it could be years before we end up back here again. I'm not going to deny you the chance to say your goodbyes."

Both true, and both mere side benefits. The girl had gotten more and more fidgety the past week or so. She had also done everything she could to keep some kind of emotional buffer between herself and the rest of us, too mixed results. Something was seriously off with her, and I wasn't betting all our lives on her ability to navigate until I knew what was going on.

"I, that's sweet of you, captain." She floundered for a moment before rallying. Despite the surge of faked confidence there was still a note of panic in her voice when she continued to speak. "But that hardly takes the whole crew! You could just wait offshore for me. I'll take a rowboat in and be back in a few hours even!"

"What, and deprive the crew of their shore leave?" I waved a hand dismissing the idea. "I haven't had a chance to do any real hunting since I left home. And I know you mentioned wild boars on your island." I grinned toothily and rested my spear across my shoulders. "Boar is a favorite of mine. I'm looking forward to seeing what Sanji can do when I bring back the bacon!"

I snickered at my little joke. I didn't think Sanji was actually sexist, just a flirt. Still, his reaction when I really did bring back a pig or three would be telling.

"But, Lucy!"

"Enough!" My voice cracked like a whip and I dropped the joking demeanor as I turned to face Nami.

From the corner of my eye I could see that we now had all the crew's attention. Also Johnny and Yosaku… who I didn't realize were still traveling with us. Alright, put a pin in that one and come back to it. Nami first.

"You were thrilled to have some backup, you told me you want to make a map of the world. But every time someone brings up heading to the Grand Line you have a half dozen reasons to stall." I absently tossed my spear to Kuina who caught it on reflex.

I didn't want to be holding a weapon during this conversation. It was going to be difficult enough without anything extra causing tension. I crossed my empty arms over my chest and tried to not look threatening.

"Now I'll grant you some of your arguments are sound, and I happen to agree with you on a few points." I honestly did. I just wasn't sure how many talented people I could reasonably expect to find in the East Blue of all places. "But there's only so long we can run around the East Blue making the marines look incompetent before we run out of pirates." I grinned sardonically.

Nami didn't say a word.

"Now, I might be reaching, but I seem to recall you having a lot of hate for pirates. And you're getting cold feet about going home. Not to mention how hard you've been working to collect cash…"

Nami still didn't speak, but she was clutching at her right shoulder and shaking now.

Carefully I stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. I rubbed small circles across her back.

"We're here for you, Nami." I spoke softly. "We've got all the pieces; we just need you to tell us how they fit together. Whatever you're dealing with, we'll handle it together."

Finally, Nami returned my hug. She clung to me like the last piece of driftwood from a shipwreck. She didn't make so much as a sound, but she continued to shake, and my shoulder grew damp.

It took a few minutes for her to collect herself.

The entire crew gathered round to listen in silence as she told us about her mother, her home, and Arlong.

When she finished speaking, we stayed in perfect silence for a few minutes. The air sang with bloodlust. The outside world faded away. It was meaningless. We were crew, a family, this was our world. And one of our own was wounded and bleeding. It was unacceptable. Blood for blood. There would be vengeance.

I drew in a long slow breath and let it hiss out between my sharpening teeth.

"We have our next target." I spoke with forced calm. "I want his head in our hold as soon as possible. Nami, our destination is Conomi island. You have command of the deck. Get us there with all possible speed." The order was quiet, but firm.

"Aye, Captain." Nami's voice was subdued. She took a moment to close her eyes and gather her thoughts before starting to issue orders. With each directive she gave she seemed to draw strength back into herself, and her resolve seemed to grow.

With a nod I pitched in. The crew was small enough that I couldn't afford to sit idle. Besides, the work would keep my hands busy while my mind contemplated murder.