"Driving Smarts with Dodonpa" This driving film is brought to you by: COMUTKSTHOTRAOOCAT (Citizens Of Mobius United To Keep Sonic The Hedgehog Off The Road And Out Of Cars All Together)
Dodonpa: Good day, future motorists. I'm Dodonpa, king of Donpa Kingdom and president of Donpa Motors. Today, we'll be discussing the difference between a driver WITH driving smarts…
Shadow was shown with a pilot uniform.
Shadow: Driving is but a simple task for the ultimate lifeform.
Dodonpa: *sighs* …and a driver WITHOUT driving smarts.
Sonic came up next to Shadow, standing on his hands.
Sonic: Hey Shads, look what I can do with my feet!
Sonic waved his feet in the air in a really fast blur, irritating Shadow.
Dodonpa: Let's see some examples, shall we?
Tire Pressure
Dodonpa: Before you can even think about driving, the driver who uses driving smarts always fills his tires to the appropriate level.
Shadow pumps up his tire to a certain amount, then measures to see it's at the perfect level. Sonic, on the other hand, pumps lots of air into his tires.
Dodonpa: While this driver pays no need to boat smarts.
Sonic fills the tire so much that his car flips over and crushes Shadow's car. Then the tire pops and blows air into Shadow's face.
Buckling Up
Shadow puts on a seatbelt before starting to drive, and smiles at the camera.
Dodonpa: As demonstrated by this driver, he has enough driving smarts to use his seat belt and avoid a serious casualty as a result of a collision.
Shadow slowly stops when the traffic light turns red.
Dodonpa: Notice how he comes gently to a stop sign.
Meanwhile, Sonic was recklessly driving all over the city.
Dodonpa: Now this driver, with no regard for safety…
Shadow sees Sonic coming up behind him.
Shadow: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Sonic crashes behind Shadow and sends the latter, along with his seat and wheel, flying. He screams again, when he sees that he's headed towards a spiky steamroller.
Shadow: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Dodonpa: Well, at least he had his seat belt on.
Shadow tries to unbuckle his seat belt to escape, but to no avail. He gets caught in the steamroller, where his fur gets shredded, and the seatbelt comes off.
Adjusting Mirrors
Shadow is seen adjusting his mirror.
Dodonpa: What's our driving smarts driver up to now? You guessed it! He's adjusting his mirror before he begins driving, unlike this degenerate driver.
With Sonic, he tries to adjust his mirror while driving with his foot, playing no attention to the road, crashing into pedestrians. Once Sonic thinks he got it at the right angle, he uses his hands again.
Sonic: Ah, perfect.
Sonic then moves from behind Shadow on the road and drives right in front of him. Startling Shadow.
Shadow: Hey! Use your mirrors, fool!
Sonic: Mirrors? Oh, that reminds me. I haven't adjusted this one yet.
Sonic adjusts the other mirror to an angle in which the light from the sun bounces off it and blinds Shadow.
Shadow: AH! Can't see!
The light gets more intense.
Shadow: D'OH!
He puts on glasses to see better. He laughs for a bit before seeing he was about to crash into a wall.
Shadow: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Footage from live-action Japanese Crash test dummy is shown with Shadow's head replacing the dummy's head.
Shadow: Ow.
Next up, Dodonpa is shown sitting next to Shadow in his car.
Dodonpa: Finally, and most importantly, a driver with driving smarts always pays attention to his surroundings and avoids distractions. Notice how this driver's eyes are locked firmly on the road.
To demonstrate this, Shadow's eyes turn into a lock with a vision of the road.
Meanwhile, Sonic is eating a Chili Dog while checking the newspaper, and then shaves himself. Also getting shaving cream in his eyes. All while not watching the road.
Dodonpa: And here we have the epitome of a driver who is carelessly distracting himself from the road and safety.
As Sonic tries to get the cream off, he goes onto a one-way road going against traffic, angering many drivers. One driver crashes into a streetlight.
Driver: AAH! JERK!
Sonic finally gets the cream off and waves to the person.
Sonic: Hi there!
Still not paying attention to the road, Sonic causes chaos to ensue on the one-way traffic.
Driver #2: Help! Lunatic driver!
Sonic faces the opposite direction he was moving and greets every person he crashed into.
Driver #2: AAAAAHHHH!
Sonic: How's it going?
Driver #3: I CAN'T FEEL MY HAIR!
Driver #4: MY LEG!
All the cars are seen crashed in one area. The drivers, get out, angry.
Dodonpa: Sonic- I mean, a driver without driving smarts shows contempt for his driver brethren and the law.
Sonic's car slips in some water and spins around and around!
Sonic: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sonic's car is now driving backwards towards Shadow and Dodonpa's car.
Sonic: Hey, Shadow! Hey, Dodonpa!
Shadow and Dodonpa: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Sonic's car stops on a rock and tilts upward, causing Shadow's car to go flying and landing into the pile of crashed cars. Shadow and Dodonpa get out of the rubble, injured. Sonic drives up to them with satisfaction.
Sonic: Looks like you guys forgot your driving smarts!
Sonic drives off, laughing while leaving dust behind.
Dodonpa: Never mind…
Shadow: Well, now I know why fans complain about him being in a car.
Cast:
Dodonpa as Mrs. Puff
Shadow as Squidward
Sonic as Spongebob
Hope you enjoyed. I was inspired to make this since I'm getting my permit soon.