"I'm well aware of certain things that will destroy a man like me,

But with that said give me one more, higher.

Another one to take the sting away.

I am happy on my own, so here I'll stay.

Save your loving arms for a rainy day.

And I'll find comfort in my pain,

Eraser."

-Ed Sheeran 'Eraser'.

She had made up her mind. She knew today was the day as she couldn't keep herself from pretending anymore and knew that she could no longer keep herself lying to Ron. She had to make deep breaths, steady herself and rip the plaster from the oozing wound.

Draco had protested about her doing it alone, initially. He practically begged her to let him be there with her when she broke the news.

He wanted to hold her hand and offer her the support that she needed, but Hermione knew too well that the fallout of all of this would ultimately make Ron and Draco come to blows, and she refused to have blood on her hands. More blood than necessary, anyway.

"Promise you'll come back to me when you've told him?" Draco had asked her as he held her chin and inhaled the scent of her hair, savouring her for himself. "Just come back to me...let me keep you safe."

Hermione had melted into him, wanting nothing more than to stay there and keep his touch on her and his presence around her. But she knew she had to do this; and she couldn't return to Draco until she had. So, as she flooed back to her own flat, her heart felt heavy at the loss of him but even heavier for the thought of what was to come.

That had been four days ago. She'd so far been unable to let the words escape her as the thought of hurting Ron as a lover and a friend had left her heart feeling like it was going to break. Was she really that person? Was she really someone who did this? She still couldn't quite comprehend her own actions, but she still knew that she couldn't regret it. None of it. Because this was more than her now; this was her future and her child and Draco. This was about them.

Her chance came on a day when Ron had done something as little as not washing his plate in the sink. Hermione's hormones had gotten the better of her, knowing that this was something Ron did a lot, but this time is had really grated on her nerves... gave her the burst of anger to snap that she had needed.

She had berated him, which lead to him arguing back about her leaving her books around the flat. Trivial, usually meaningless niggles that had ebbed away at them both over the years were now at the forefront of a fight for their own dominance within a doomed relationship.

It was like dynamite, from then on. Hermione throwing back the fact that he didn't put his shoes in the proper place – Ron shouting that he hated that Hermione could be so anal about things being in their proper place.

It had angered her so much; this man knew everything about her and yet so little at the same time. Were they really this far apart from each other now? Had they really drifted away, unable to recognise each other anymore?

She almost laughed at the small things that they chose to throw at each other. Insignificant quibbles that would mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, especially when she actually got around to telling him the cut-throat truth that was bubbling beneath the surface... she just needed one more push from him... one more thing to tip her over...

It was as he was berating her for the way she liked him to put his socks in his drawer neatly and separate from his boxer shorts that she finally did it. She snapped fully, her adrenaline kicking in and not being able to take it anymore.

It was funny how a little argument about something so trivial could manifest itself into a life-changing series of events.

"I – I can't do this anymore!" she burst out. "Im leaving you." It was said loud and angrily, her breath catching as she did and she let out the air in her lungs... rip off the plaster...make it feel better ...

Ron faltered momentarily, glaring at her from where he stood near to the front door of the flat. "That's a tad dramatic - all because of an unwashed plate in the sink, Hermione." He snorted at her indignantly.

She shook her head and looked down, taking in a few more shaky breaths. She just needed to do it. Tell him the truth and make him hate her. "You know it's not been working for a while, Ron." She said quietly. "Surely you must see that? We've ... we've grown apart."

She heard his feet scuff against the carpet as he stood there, not quite knowing what to do with himself. He was going to try and argue with her ... he was going to try and reason with her... he wanted to fight for her. She didn't deserve that. She needed to stop him dead; let him save himself and spare him the agony.

She had to do something to make him realise she was serious... say something to make him see that there was no coming back from this.

"I've been having an affair," She gasped out, not meaning it to come out so bluntly but the harsh words left her before she had a chance to check her tone.

As she looked up with tears in her eyes, she saw his own looking at her with no emotion. And she knew that she was about to break him even more. "and I'm pregnant." She said in a quieter voice, and she saw his body tense up; not being able to handle the emotions erupting from himself all at once.

"Who?" was all he asked. His voice was calm but his demeanour gave her a threatening warning. He looked like he was shaking. She knew she had to tell him, but she felt like the words just wouldn't come out.

She hated this. Hated herself for what she had done and the lives she was about to destroy for being so selfish and giving in to all of this. Ron was going to hate her for the rest of his life and there was no way of taking any of this back; it was out there now and it was not going to go away.

"I asked who, Hermione..." his tone was low and he sounded beyond angry. "Who is it?"

She swallowed thickly, knowing that her answer would burn Ron from the inside out. But there was no other way ... she had to tell him.

"Draco Malfoy."

Draco was pacing. He had done it most nights since Hermione had left. He had gotten no word from her and had started to panic, thinking that she wouldn't come back to him. He couldn't have that ... he needed her now.

He needed her more than she needed him and the idea of never having her again ate away at him. He knew he was being irrational, but as the days went on, he started to think of all of the things that could go wrong and all that he could lose if Hermione had decided not to choose him.

It was that Tuesday evening when she finally turned up in his Fireplace, a crying wreck and her body wracked with emotional sobs and as Draco felt the instant relief of her arrival, but he also took pain in her obvious discomfort.

She was angry. Draco had attempted to take her in his arms but she pushed him back, screaming at him and asking if he realised what they had done. If he had taken anyone else's feelings into consideration when they started this thing, because Hermione was starting to hate herself for it all.

Her pain looked almost physical as she clung to herself, leaning against a wall in his Living room and sliding down it as she continued to cry.

Hermione gulped in air as she blamed him for making her do this ... he'd caused the mess that they were in by approaching her in the first place. But he paid no attention; he saw past her words as nothing more than a defence mechanism. He knew she was deflecting her feelings onto him, and right now he would gladly bare the brunt of it all if it meant that she would feel less heart ache about the situation.

Draco slowly knelt with her. He wanted her to know that he was with her every step of the way with this, and he would see her through her pain and torment because he loved her and he was not about to lose her just because things were difficult now... they both knew that they would be.

Before Hermione could protest, Draco gathered her up and carried her to the couch. He cradled her in his lap, her head under his chin and held her tight and close to him, making sure she realised that he was not letting her go. There was no way he could let her go. Not now, not ever. She was his.

"He was so angry." She managed to get out between sobs, her head shaking. "He Asked me why he wasn't enough... he punched the wall."

Draco had expected both of those things. It was never going to be nice to be the collateral fallout of an affair. It was never going to be him that anything would end well for. Draco almost felt sorry for the man, having to find out something like this and then go through life wondering why he wasn't enough for someone.

"He'll be enough for someone someday, Hermione." Draco told her quietly as he kisses her hair, still holding her tightly on his lap. "You've let him go so he can find someone who will want him for everything that he is."

"I told him we were coasting." She sniffled, but her body seemed to be calming down as his fingers drew small circles on her back. "I couldn't lie to him, but he was so angry... he told me my life was in ruins... he couldn't even look at me."

Draco scowled. "It's over now...let just-"

She was off his knee and glowering over him before he had time to think. "This isn't over, Draco! It's only just started!" she shrieked at him, fresh tears forming in her eyes. "I'm going to lose friends and my life as I know it." Draco stood from the couch and as he did, she started poking him in the chest with her finger. "We're going to be talked about and Looked at in disgust because of this ..."

Draco raised an eyebrow at her. "That's nothing I'm not used to, love."

Hermione's hands went to her hair. "You don't get it! I'M not used to it! I don't do things like this." She ranted on, her anxieties coming to the surface as she faced him. "I'm going to lose everything... I'll lose everything in my life, and it's all been for you."

Draco started to get angry now.

"I could lose my friend, Draco." She told him almost hysterically. "They'll hate me for what I've done to Ron, and worst of all because I've done it to him with you." She was so angry with herself. So hateful of her actions.

Was he not worth more to her? If her friends couldn't live with her decision, was she shallow enough to not want to be with him because of it? Did she think that little of him? He thought she might have started to –

"It's not you I hate, Draco." She told him when she saw the look in her eyes as he studied her. "I hate myself for doing something that isn't like me ... this isn't the Hermione Granger that the world knows."

Draco almost sneered. "You're scared that the world will look at you differently when they realise you're with me?"

She looked at him seriously then, but shook her head. "Why are you not scared, Draco?" she asked him, her voice shaking and her big cinnamon eyes glittering with tears. Draco had to admit that she really was breath-taking like this, even when she was looking tortured. "Why is this not eating away at you like it is with me?"

He stood from the couch then and looked her dead in the eye. "Because I love you." He told her simply, not knowing what else to say. "I just want you and our baby ... I don't need anything else to complicate my life right now... only us. I just want it to be us."

Suddenly she was reaching forwards and her fingers gripped the hair at the back of his head as she roughly pulled his face down and covered her lips with hers. The kiss was brutal; tongues and teeth. Nipping, sucking and fighting with each other. She needed this ... needed to get out her frustrations sexually... it was the only thing she had left that she had control of.

Her tongue plundered his mouth, possessing it, owning it, Draco's body responded. He pressed himself against her, and he knew she could feel him harden against her stomach. She locked her hands around his neck, raising herself on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss.

Draco made a noise in the back of his throat and pushed her back against the Living room door, his body covering hers. Heat raced along his nerves as he let his lips travel along her jaw and down her neck. She didn't realize he'd taken her wrists in his hand until he was pulling them above her head, holding them against the door as his mouth nudged aside the collar of her shirt.

His free hand worked between them, deftly undoing each button. Draco's brain buzzed, thoughts and sensations chasing each other in a cacophony of chaos until he wasn't sure what he was thinking or feeling. Hermione had been prepared, ready to take charge.

Or at least, she had been sure until Draco had kissed her back like a man dying of thirst, finding an oasis in a desert. His mouth demanding and greedy on hers, needing her to feel how much he wanted her ... how much he needed her to know that this was right ... that they were right.

"If you don't want this right now, then stop me," Draco murmured against her ear, voice low and husky with desire. "Otherwise..." he slipped his fingers through the folds of her blouse, digits hot against her skin as they skimmed over her ribcage and around to the small of her back. "I'm going to fucking possess you and show you that you're mine." He breathed and she lost it.

When she didn't protest, his mouth returned to hers, teeth scraping lightly over her bottom lip. The hand on her back moved higher, deftly unhooking her bra. When his thumb brushed between the underside of her breast and the elastic of her bra, Hermione squirmed. Draco smiled against her mouth.

He broke their kiss but kept their bodies pressed together. "We're going to fuck, Hermione." His voice was even, sounding demanding and lustful. "And I'm going to make you scream." She mewled. "I'll make you let go and forget."

Hermione nodded. Not that there was anything else she could do...she needed this. The power of speech seemed to have deserted her. She let Draco pull her over to the couch again, the sense of relief that rushed through her must have made her knees weak, because he felt like he was half carrying her.

He was going to tell her what to do. She didn't have to decide anything more than whether or not to say no. "Clothes off." Draco slipped his hand under her loose bra, cupping one full breast. He ran his thumb over her nipple, and she couldn't stop the whimper that escaped. "I love seeing what your clothes are hiding from me...I fucking love your body, Hermione."

Hermione kept her gaze on Draco as she removed her shirt and bra. When his eyes flicked down to her pants, she removed them as well. She started to take off her plain cotton knickers when Draco held up a hand. He stepped closer and ran his fingertip along the skin just above the elastic waistband, sending goose bumps across her flesh.

"Think we might need to update your underwear drawer, Granger..." The words were out of his mouth before he realized he was going to say them.

"You prefer me in satin and lace?" She smirked.

"I prefer you knickerless so I can fuck you anytime I want ..." He hooked his fingers under the elastic. "But first things first..."

He waited until she stepped out of her knickers before looking at her. His gaze was hungry as it ran the length of her body. Hermione suddenly became quite shy as her hands automatically moved to cover herself, blushing at the intensity on Draco's face. He just wanted to take her in ... all of her soft curves ... she was all his.

"No." The word was soft, but he knew Hermione could hear something harder beneath, something that sent a rush of heat through her entire body.

Draco reached out and covered her hand with his own, shifting to make the angle less awkward. He threaded his fingers through hers. "Why would you feel the need to hide?" The steel in his voice had tempered. "You have a beautiful body."

Hermione gasped as Draco cupped her sex with their joined hands. She parted her legs as he slipped their middle fingers between her slick folds.

"Draco...," she breathed his name as he moved their hands, and he was unsure if she was protesting or begging. The heel of her palm pressed against her clit as Draco pushed her finger into her cunt.

"shhh," Draco whispered. His finger joined hers and Hermione cried out in a whimper. It was too much, too soon. She wasn't stretched enough, but the pressure on her clit must have turned the pain into almost-pleasure.

He knew her nerves were taut, a day's worth of tension running through her... she needed this release for herself. Draco kept up the pressure for her, loving hearing her moans and her cries as she started to reach for her orgasm because of their fingers.

"Oh, Draco – please ... I'm so close – oh!" and then she came, surprising them both with the rhythmic strokes of their fingers, coaxing the pleasure from a mini-wave to a full-blown orgasm.

"That's it, Hermione ... come for me ..." he breathed into her ear.

Her knees buckled, and Draco grabbed her around the waist, easing her back onto the couch, hands never stilling though Hermione's went limp, completely under Draco's control.

His hand kept up their devilish assault on her clit, causing her to buck and shiver beneath him. "I can't – too sensitive-" she keened.

"Draco chuckled. "No, you're not, love ... I can feel your walls fluttering ... you're close again ..." he whispered and stretched their fingers inside of her. He watched her bite her lip and he bent down to bite it for her. "Hermione ... you're going to come all over my fingers ... grip them... fuck them..."

He felt her start to gyrate against them and he released her bottom lip as he smirked at her. "Good girl ... fuck Granger, I need to see you come ... let me watch you."

She was panting and her hips were bucking faster against him again. He wanted her to do this. He needed to see her ... see the look on her face when she imploded around him.

"Draco ... Draco ... oh fuck – Draco!"

His fingers moved theirs faster. "So good, Hermione ... just like that –"

Head thrown back; mouth open wide. She came hard as she bucked her hips and her body shook violently against their entwined fingers. Her entire body had gone stiff a second time and her eyes rolled back into her head, and Draco let their fingers slide from between her legs. Hermione's eyes fluttered open at the sound of clothes falling to the floor. He saw her eyes roaming over him and he gave her a satisfied smirk.

"'Fuck you and your hands, Malfoy." Hermione said in a small smirk, as she giggled, looking completely sated. She had not felt Draco's hands on her knees, but then her laugh turned into a half-scream as he brought his body down onto hers and buried himself inside her with one thrust.

"Shit...Hermione..."

."Oh...my-"

Hermione's back arched, limbs went rigid, as her body tried to adapt to the intrusion. Before it could, he was pulling back, leaving just the head in, and then pushing forward, making her keen.

"Fuck, Hermione ...," Draco spoke through gritted teeth. "Feels so good inside you... never want to leave." He knew the words had washed over her, but she didn't let them sink in. Her body had enough to process with Draco's bruising pace wreaking havoc with her overstimulated nerves.

As her body stretched to accommodate him, her hips began to rise and fall of their own volition, meeting Draco's every stroke, forcing him deeper than she'd thought possible. "One more time, Hermione," Draco grunted, face showing the strain of holding himself back. His hips stuttered in their rhythm, and he leaned forward to lock Grey with brown; Winter with Autumn.

"Come again for me." He rasped out, keeping up his punishing pace.

"I hate you for doing this to me." She gasped out, hovering on the edge, wanting that release but unable to make her body comply.

"No, you don't, you love me..." he pumped into her mercilessly, making her head arch back as a loud moan escaped her lips. "Say it, Hermione."

"No." She gritted her teeth as her hips bounced against his, thrust for thrust and her breasts bounced in his face.

"Say it," he demanded again, changing his angle to hit her right where she needed it. "Say it and I'll let you come again."

A wail of pure frustration spilled from her lips. She was shuddering and her legs were shaking with the need for release. With her head still thrown back, her eyes closed and her lips parted, she whispered; "I love you, Draco..." and he growled so possessively into her ear, his hips punishing her. All she could do was hold onto him as the words still lingered around him, his balls tightening. This was it now; the last piece of the puzzle.

"Come on, Hermione...come for me," Draco slammed into her, the tip of him hitting the end of her as his fingers closed around her nipple, pinching it just hard enough to break through the last of her resistance, and she shattered. He bent down and whispered in her ear; "You're mine."

"Oh shit, Draco...You're making me-" she whined and arched up into him as he made her come a third and final time. Her body practically convulses beneath him and as he kept pumping, reaching higher and higher with each pound of his hips, he finally let go and spilled himself deep inside of her, coming home.

"Fuck- yes...Hermione-shit!" he tremored with his release, his hips still pumping every now and again as he tried not to put his full weight onto her. Instead, Draco found both of her hands and pinned them above her head as he stayed between her legs on the couch. He looked into her big, glassy, brown eyes.

"You love me..." he said coyly, biting his lip and his stomach lurched when he saw her look up at him through her dark lashes and a blush stained her cheeks. "Give me all of your hurt and pain, Hermione." He whispered into her, and she shuddered against him. "That's what I'm here for," he nuzzled his nose against hers, his lips nearly touching hers. "I'll look after you both."

She broke down again, then. Her tears fell and Draco let go of her hands, moving to spoon against her on the couch as his arms wrapped around her possessively and he lay kisses upon her bare shoulder.

He only wished that he could take all of the pain away for her. But he knew that for now, they would just have to lean on each other to get through this one day at a time.