To Be Loyal

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I'm playing in J.K.'s sandbox.

Author's Note: I wanted to let you all know that while I'm not going to be a pushover to every negative review, I may use ideas from reviewers and respond to reviewers in an Author's Note.

Here's the first chapter of To Be Loyal.

Sirius O. Black

The Dining Room

12 Grimmauld Place

Islington, London, England

July 3, 1975

Sirius had seen the signs.

He had kept his head down following his return to Grimmauld Place, but he had known that it was only a matter of time. The consistent dark, hateful glares, the barbed comments meant to get under his skin, and the meager portions he received at every meal were normal for the beginning of the summer. Sirius's very presence reminded Orion and Walburga Black that their son and heir was a blood-traitor, and his attempts to stay out of sight only did so much. However, instead of erupting in venomous tirades and striking him, Sirius's parents were having quiet conversations in the kitchen that he couldn't get close enough to overhear. Instead of acting spontaneously, his parents were scheming, and Sirius was truly afraid of whatever they would come up with.

The Black parents put their plan into action after dinner on Sirius's eighth night back at Grimmauld. Regulus cast Sirius an anxious, fleeting glance, but the Blacks' favored son said nothing as his mother squeezed his shoulder and requested that he go to his room.

"Sirius," his father ground out, his hands clasped together tightly on the table. Still in his fine Wizengamot robes, Orion was every inch the aristocratic pureblood politician. His dark hair, the forerunner to Sirius's black mop, was elaborately coiffed, and his strong jaw was set.

The picture would have been perfect if the disdain in his father's black eyes had not been long ago replaced by unbridled hatred.

"For years, you have shamed our family, and scorned our every attempt to quell your traitorous affection for Mudbloods and blood-traitors," Sirius's mother snarled, knocking her lengthy black hair out of her face with a sudden, violent motion.

"It's impolite to call those I associate with racial slurs, Mother," Sirius replied tonelessly as he forced himself to meet her dark eyes. A little of the furious mania that Sirius glimpsed when she punished him was already present, causing him to shiver. "You never know, I might take offense."

"Don't speak to your mother that way," his father snapped, backhanding Sirius across the face. "Your associates are filthy, untrustworthy upstarts who don't deserve their feeble magic and the traitors who enable them to infect our society!"

Sirius had learned long ago how to take a punch, but he still tasted blood in his mouth. The metallic, bitter taste focused his mind, and he breathed out slowly.

Sirius had decided long ago never to seek out a confrontation with his parents. However, he refused to pretend to fall in line when they attempted to force their prejudices on him. Sirius had vowed to himself long before that he would never allow the Blacks to change him, and he was afraid that if he ever gave ground in this power struggle, his parents would eventually break him down. Sirius still had times when he wanted to do whatever they asked of him. He vaguely remembered what it had been like to earn his parents' approval as a young boy, and he wanted to have it again so badly.

"We have devised a system to make you into a proper heir," Sirius's father said coldly. "Before every meal, you will explain to one of us how purebloods are superior to Mudbloods. You will tell us that Muggles and their methods are utterly below us. How you will cut your ties with the Mudbloods and blood traitors that infest Gryffindor House." Sirius started to reply, and Orion cast a Silencing Charm on him from under the table. "Every time you refuse, you will be punished and your meals will be reduced. If we find that, after you return to school, you have been lying to us, your punishment will be severe." His dark eyes bored into Sirius, but Sirius would not look away. Sirius allowed a mask of calm to settle over his face, calling on the many lessons in poise and politicking he had received from his parents over the years.

He would not give in. Sirius had known his parents' true natures for years. He knew that they had become Death Eaters five years before, and he had some idea of how many Muggles they had killed during Voldemort's raids. Whenever he thought about giving in, he reminded himself of Lily Evans' top marks, Remus's quiet wisdom, and James's unwavering acceptance of his friends.

Sirius Black's mouth curled up into a strained yet contemptuous smile. He spat a mixture of spit and blood on the table, and his father's expression grew thunderous.

Sirius O. Black

The Bedroom on the Topmost Landing

12 Grimmauld Place

Islington, London, England

Late morning, July 10, 1975

Sirius flinched as his mother snatched his face with one hand and dug her long fingernails into his cheeks. "This can all be over, Sirius," she promised softly, her voice almost a purr, as a drop of blood ran down her son's face like a tear and dripped onto Sirius's bed. "All the hunger, all the pain. Those blood traitors aren't worth betraying your family."

"You and Orion are not my family," Sirius spat, his voice trembling and desperate. "And they're worth twelve of you," he declared, drawing from something James had once said to him. He said it to fight back, to resist the guilt that was settling over him like a weighted blanket, but he couldn't quite believe it. Only a little longer, he told himself. Just make it to midnight, and Prongs will get you out of here.

Walburga let out a furious shriek and slammed Sirius against the headboard of the bed. Her wand leapt into her hand, but before she could cast a curse, Regulus barrelled into the room.

"Mother!" Regulus protested fearfully, and with what looked like a tremendous effort, their mother slowly lowered her wand. She cast Regulus an appraising look, then turned a hateful glare on Sirius. "Your father and I will deal with you later," she snarled as she stormed out of the room.

"Here, Sirius," Regulus whispered furtively, handing Sirius a pancake and a few strips of bacon wrapped in a cloth napkin. Sirius nodded his thanks and scarfed it down with shaking hands before handing the napkin back. The only food he had eaten in the past three days had been smuggled into his room by Regulus.

Regulus put a hand on Sirius's shoulder, and Sirius looked up to find a desperate expression on his brother's face. "Sirius, this can't go on," Regulus pleaded. "Sooner or later, they're going to really hurt you. You don't have to mean it, just play along."

"I won't be their puppet, Regulus," Sirius said tiredly. Sirius's relationship with his brother had become strained over the years as their beliefs had diverged, but they had never been enemies. He slid off his bed and got to his feet, wincing as the bruises on his back throbbed.

"You only have to keep your head down through this summer and the next!" Regulus exclaimed. "You'll come of age during your seventh year, and then you can leave peacefully!"

Sirius met Regulus's light grey eyes, and Regulus took a step back. Sirius normally kept his emotions below the surface around his family, but his despair and anger were too strong to hold back. "I'm not as strong as I try to be, Reg," he whispered. "Don't you see what they're doing? The starving, the guilt trips, the pureblood programming? It's starting to mess with my head." Sirius tore his gaze away from Regulus's eyes and stared at the carpet. "I'm afraid," he said, his voice hitching on the second word, "that I'll give in, and they'll break me. Once they get me to parrot their beliefs, they'll raise the bar. Soon they'll want me to take the Mark." Cursing himself for showing vulnerability in front of his brother, Sirius took a deep breath. "I'm leaving, Regulus, and I'll hex you six ways to Sunday if you tell Mom and Dad."

Sirius had shared some of the details of his parents' plan with James over the mirror the previous night and told him that he was right; it was time for Sirius to go. James had told Sirius to expect him around midnight of the next night.

Regulus turned away, his fingers snatching at his short black hair in anxiety. Sirius watched him pace around the room for a few long minutes before he stopped abruptly and turned to Sirius. "Of course I won't."

"One of these days, Regulus, you're going to have to choose a side," Sirius said darkly, turning away from his brother. "I appreciate you sticking your neck out for me, but I can't trust you as long as you're in our dear parents' pocket. Especially after what happened to Mel."

"Why do you think I risk myself for you, Sirius!" Regulus half-shouted, only his fear of their parents' wrath keeping him from yelling. "I'll always regret not doing anything, and I don't want to lose you like we lost her!"

Sirius ground his teeth but refrained from speaking. It's better than nothing, he told himself.

"So this is goodbye, then." Regulus sounded like he was going to cry.

"I'll be there if you ever need me," Sirius promised, looking straight into his brother's eyes.

"Same for you," Regulus said shortly, a tear slipping down his face. He started forward and began to raise his arms like he was going to give Sirius a hug, then stopped himself and walked out of the bedroom.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Did you catch the "worth twelve of you" reference? Constructive reviews are great, even if they're negative! Have a nice day!