Disclaimer: I don't own the stuff in this story, if I made false claims of doing so, Mr. T would throw my sorry ass to Spice World.

'That Daemon foo' is crazier than Murdock!' thought Mr. T as his van arrived where he left for the Digital world. 'Good thing my van's helluva fast!'

Mr. T slammed the gas petal, in an instant he traveled from Los Angeles, U.S.A. to Odaiba, Japan across the Pacific without even sinking an inch.

Elapsed time: .00012 seconds

But he ran into one problem.

"Sir may I see your passport?"

"Don't give me no legal jibba-jabba punk! Mr. T goes where he wants! Da youth centers need to be saved!"

"Sir, I don't care if you're George Bush, I have to get a passport or a fine! How about you give me a couple of those chains and we'll call it even?"

Big mistake, no one should mess with T's gold, it would be the last thing the guard would coherently say for 3 months.

Meanwhile in Odaiba.....

LadyDevimon, SkullSatamon, and MarineDevimon were having a ball destroying buildings left and right, each having an unusual and retarded choice that would doom them later on.

"Aha! Here's something that will leave a lot of twisted metal!" bellowed MarineDevimon as he noticed an armored building with a sign on it that read...

ODAIBA GOLD DEPOSITORY

"GUILTY BLACK!"

MarineDevimon shot a stream of black...stuff at the building and it was soon demolished.

"Well it's not something anyone's gonna miss, but what the hell?" said LadyDevimon as she eyed the building with the sign that read...

ODAIBA MILK REFINERY

"DARKNESS WAVE!"

An attack similar to Myotismon's Grisly Wing leveled the building causing tons of white liquid to flood the streets.

But SkullSatamon's choice was the stupidest of all.

"What the hell is this?"

YOUTH CENTER

"Ah well, if it's a place humans dwell in, then nuke it, that's what I always say. NAIL BONE!"

Thrusting his staff at the Youth center, SkullSatamon slowed down slightly from hitting the structure, which then collapsed. Children outside the center responded to what they witnessed.

"Well I guess it's back to snuffing Cocaine for me!" said one 17-ish boy casually.

"Yeah, hey, that reminds me, I'd better start stealing hubcaps again soon" said a younger 14-ish boy.

"I was looking forward to a good trade, but I guess that's out of my reach now." Said an 8 year old girl sadly

"What about school?"

"pfft, like my family can afford THAT!"

Meanwhile...

"Jeez, Imperialdramon, how'd you let your calcium deficiency get this bad!?" Asked Ken

"Hey, it's not like I knew digimon could get Osteoporosis or whatchamicallit." Bellowed the holy Knight.

"You'd better snap out of it now or there won't be an Odaiba to fight for!" shouted Kari

"Yeah, The Daemon Corps. have already destroyed the youth center, milk refinery, and the gold depository!" Shouted Gatomon

"SAY WHAT!" Yelled an angry, gruff voice.

"Was it just me or did the ground just shake when you said that Davis? Are you hitting puberty already?" asked Yolei

"That wasn't me nerdette, it came from that blackish-blue van with that red stripe going horizontally around it!" Said the gogglehead.

Patamon leapt off T.K.'s head and flew to the van.

"Excuse me, but could you keep it down? We're trying to think of a way to stop Daemon." Patamon asked the driver

"No time for that jibba-jabba, flyin' foo! Azulong-sucka sent me here to deal with that punk!"

Davis knew he had heard that horribly grammarless language before, he narrowed his eyes at the driver of the van, he was a brawny looking black man with a weird looking Mohawk, and had 40 or 50 pounds of Gold chains around his neck and some rings. Davis knew he had seen this guy on T.V. somewhere but where? He searched his memory and was able to narrow it down to one show that he had only started watching re-runs of last week. Then the next words, the title of the show popped into his head.

THE A-TEAM

But before he could respond, Armadillomon (who had digivolved for God knows what reason) did so for him.

"Well, feel me wid watah and poke me fulla holes, it's Mr.T!" Said the hillbilly digimon

"Fill you with water? Where do you get stuff like that armadillomon?" Inquired Cody before letting the last word of Armadillomon's phrase sink in.

"I'm a hillbilly, it's mah job!" he said crossing his arms and lifting his head up with his eyes closed proudly.

"Enough jibba-jabba Armadillo-foo', which way to Daemon?"

TK stepped forth on Armadillomon's behalf

"Well, he hasn't arrived yet, but his 3 minions, MarineDevimon, SkullSatamon, and LadyDevimon are destroying buildings left and right, not only that, Imperialdramon couldn't handle Daemon before. Even though he's in Paladin mode now, he hurt his bones from Digivolving so much. His pain hasn't subsided enough to stop affecting his combat skills so I guess that leaves you."

Mr. T turned to the holy Knight "You should've drank your milk you know!" The digimon just groaned in response

"One human against three unusually powerful Ultimates and a mega? WE-ARE- FUBAR!" Said Gomamon not realizing just how powerful Mr. T was.

"Don't be such a pessimist Gomamon. Mr. T can-" Ken interrupted himself before doing a double-take. "Gomamon, what are you doing here!?"

"I thought you were with Joe and the other older kids on their camping trip!" Said Davis

"How'd you get all the way back here?" asked Kari

"Greyhound"

"You took a bus?" said Davis

"No, a flesh and blood dog trained for this stuff"

Everyone except Gomamon and Mr. T gave off a sweatdrop

"Enough jibba-jabba, which way to those 3 sucka-mon?"

"I don't think you have to look around much." said Patamon as he pointed a tiny finger at a giant demonic red skeleton with a wooden staff fly to the scene.

"IT'S SKULLSATAMON!" yelled a panicked Yolei

"Not in my ears Miyako!"

"Ah, I found the Chosen children at last, ooh, and a weakened Imperialdramon, you should really drink your milk you know."

"Why must everyone keep rubbing that in my face?" said the holy Knight, his eyes rolling under his helmet.

"Not so fast, bone-punk!"

SkullSatmon directed his attention to Mr. T, not recognizing the mohawked psycho.

"You know, It's really rude to interrupt someone when they're doing something. Step aside puny flesh creature."

"Not before I highlight yo' face black and blue, Me an' the kids ain't about to be no evil digimon's foo'. So cut the jibba-jabba and les' fight!"

"That would be too fast and boring, I just want destroy the DigiDestined fast and then MAYBE I'll kill you later."

Mr. T held his ground, while Marine and LadyDevimon caught up with SkullSatamon. It seemed this human didn't know the consequences of standing up to an ultimate level digimon were. SkullSatamon grew irritable and could wait no longer. He took his staff into both his hands.

"So be it human, NAIL BONE!"

SkullSatamon gave a surprised stare when he saw the staff virtually bounce of the Gold Chains that the human was wearing.

"Huh? Urrm... NAIL BO-"

SkullSata-foo (er, mon) found it hard to move his wooden staff and noticed that the unusual human was holding the other end effortlessly. Baffled, but undeterred, he continued to press his staff forward with all his might. Until.........

SNAP

CRACKLE

POP!

.......It broke.............

"WHAT THE F^&*ING HELL!? HOW'D A WELPY LITTLE HUMAN LIKE YOU BREAK MY STAFF? THAT WAS MY MOST PRIZED POSSESION! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT, BUT I'LL KILL YOU! GUYS, TEACH THIS PSYCHO A LESSON IN BREAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY!"

"You shoulda thought a' that before you destroyed those youth centahs punk!"

"AAARGGGHH! ATTAAAAAAACK!" Screamed the raging red devil while retrieving his extra staff

"GUILTY BLACK!"

"DARKNESS WAVE!"

"I PITY THE FOO' WHO SHOOTS DARK ENERGY AT MR. T!" Shouted the mohawked psycho as he ran forward to dodge the attacks, not that he needed to.

"GO TO HELL! NAIL BONE!"

The attack missed by a mile due to SkullSatamon's rage induced lack of concentration.

"GUILTY BLACK!"

The attack was simply reflected by T's gold chains (what the hell are those gold chains made out of anyway?)

Then Mr. T tripped over a piece of SkullSatamon's broomstick of a staff.

"I got you where I want you! All at once now! NAIL BONE!"

"GUILTY BLACK!"

"DARKNESS WAVE!"

All 3 attacks collided with the temporarily immobile Mr. T.

At last (pant) we got that (pant) bug out of the picture, now let's get the Di-" SkullSatamon wheezed before a muscular hand shot out of the rubble and grabbed the skeleton by the throat.

"You obviously don't know Me, Mr. T if you think I go down that easily!"

"But how did you live through all that!? How do you grapple me so easily? You'd have to be helluva tough to do that!" gasped the demon

"You're forgetin' I drink my milk, so I'm stronger than you, now comes the end of the line for you!"

Mr. T broke the head off Skull Satamon's body, the demon expected the human to kill him now, but instead, he hoisted the head and body into the air and simply threw them in that order. The two pieces simply vanished into the sky.

"Did...you...just...see...that?"

"Yes...I...did...La...dy...De...Vi...mon!"

"He just threw SkullSatamon helluva far!"

"Here's an idea, we scream, then run."

"Let's do them at the same time!"

On cue, the two Devimon's ran for the foothills but shrieked in terror when Mr. T appeared in the direction they turned into, his van was so fast that there was simply no way to escape him, even if you were Rapidmon.

10 seconds later, Mr. T had the two remaining Daemon Corps. in a double headlock.

"Damn you human scum!"

"That Mr. T is helluva tough."

"Shadup and get ready to fly on T airlines sucka-mon!"

Soon they were both thrown.

SkullSatamon's head landed on a lakeshore in Southern Alaska his body landed in the lake itself.

"That 'Mr. T' can sure throw helluva far! I think I still have some control over my body, hold on."

His head concentrated the best it could, in an hour, his body was walking out of the lake and onto the shore.

"That's it, just a little further!"

But just as his body got within an arm's length of his head, 8 wolves dashed out of the woods and pummeled the skeleton to the ground, chewing the bones off to obtain the tasty marrow inside.

"Oh, no, please I need that bod- hey! That's not supposed to come off!" Well it can't get any worse."

Just then, the alpha male of the wolf pack walked up to the skull and lifted his leg to claim his new property.

LadyDevimon landed on Spice World, Mr. T's favorite place to throw people, a planet inhabited by people that look like teen celebrities. Finally she found a place to fit in.

MarineDevimon landed in the straits of the Scylla (from Homer's Odyssey) and the two monsters fell in love, one day they decide to express their love until.

(cue corny soap opera music)

"Scylla! How could you!?" bellowed a heartbroken Poseidon.

"Honey it's not what it looks like! Seriously!"

"It was the only bed in these rocks she had, seriously!"

"Hey I know you! You're that wannabe of me that works for that Daemon fellow!" Poseidon lifted his Trident in anger "This is for trying to steal my spotlight asshole!"

In some dark dimension thing, Daemon has just finished practicing using his newfound power when a Datamon came in.

"Master?"

"Make it quick, I'm going to the real world to meet up with my minions!" bellowed the demon lord.

"Yes, about that, they were already causing havoc and disorder when they had found the chosen children, they were about to finish them off when a human intervened and caught himself in the fight."

Daemon was genuinely puzzled, he new his minions weren't the brightest in the world but even they knew better than to waste their power on humans.

"How bad could..."

"They're gone sir, the human threw them across the world, and even outer space!"

Now Daemon was a bit worried by this at first, considering a mere human had defeated 3 unusually strong ultimate level digimon, AND threw them Inconceivable distances. However, this worry was trivial and quickly discarded by Daemon. He did acquire a new fan fiction based power source, and even got his hands on a so called "business partner" who wanted to invest in this world domination plan.

"I see, I guess my new friend will be needed. Oh Cherubimon..."

"Please, call me Kerpymon, It was my original name in the English version of the show until those translators gave me that wussy angelic name that doesn't even fit me anymore." Said a hoarse, evil voice.

Out of the shadows emerged a gigantic purple-black rabbit with a court jester's neck thingy and an evil grin, complete with beady yellow eyes and three short horns in the position of an upside down triangle.

"Very well 'Kerpymon', accompany me to the real world and we will continue where my minions left off and I'll show you how an expert does business.

"Hey, give me a chance, I want to blow off some steam from having the frontier chosens destroying ALL my dark warriors."

"Tell you what, you go ahead right now, and I'll stay here for a minute to do a chapter closing speech."

"Very well, I'll save some for you." Bellowed the purple rabbit as he used his trans-dimensional power to go to the real world.

Daemon turned away from the foggy vortex and grinned under his hood.

"The Chosens may have a new ally, but they're now match for my new power. There is not a thing in this world that can stop.......Yaoi...

Sorry to dissapoint you yaoi fans, but rest assured, I'll give you a justifiable explanation for my sudden bashing of yaoi in the last chapter of this story...If I ever get that far...

To be continued