"I MUST PROTECT IKARI!" She screamed and banished the voice from her mind.

* * * * *

Everyone in the command centre cringed when they heard Shinji's scream.  No one knew exactly what to do as the angel had just penetrated the Geofront and Unit 01 was the only thing that could kill it.  Everything seemed lost.  Then another scream reverberated over the communications link, this time not of pain but of desperation.

"I MUST PROTECT IKARI!"  Echoed the abnormally loud voice of Rei Ayanami.  Everyone's jaw dropped at hearing the normally silent girl yell, and with such emotion.

"Rei's synchro graph is stabilising!  Nerve connections restored!  Unit 00 is back under control!" Maya shouted ecstatically once the shock of the blue haired girl's outburst abated.  As if to confirm this statement, Unit 00s cyclopean eye flashed a bright white and it took off at a sprint towards Unit 01. 

Reaching the besieged EVA quickly, she interposed herself in between the angel and Unit 01, holding the makeshift shield in front of her.  The initial impact almost knocked her Eva off its feet but she steadied herself and stood resolutely in between the two combatants.  She was told that she'd have 17 seconds of protection from the shield, but she would stay until she was killed in order to protect Ikari.

* * * * *

The pain in Shinji's head lost its intensity and he finally drew in a ragged breath of the uncomfortably hot LCL.  He took a moment to reorient and compose himself before trying to decipher the strange noises that were echoing through the entry plug.  He soon realised that they were voices and once his vision began to clear he saw a fuzzy outline that resembled Unit 00 standing directly in front of him. 

"Ayanami?" he groaned groggily, barely recognizing his own voice hoarse as it was from screaming.

"Ikari.  You must destroy the angel.  I will protect you."  Shinji could have sworn that he heard emotion in Rei's voice, but quickly decided it must be due to his current state. 

"Hurry Shinji!  The shield can't take much more!" informed Misato.

Shinji's hazy mind barely registered Misato's words, but a memory of the pain he so recently endured focused his mind back to the task he was given.  Drawing shallow breathes of the searing LCL he tried to focus his watering eyes on the targeting system.  Everything was blurry though and he couldn't even see the targeting reticule.

"I can't focus..." he whispered in his hoarse voice.  He felt a crushing pressure in his chest as he realised that he couldn't make the shot.  Not matter how hard he tried to focus his vision failed to clear sufficiently to make the pinpoint shot.  He was going to fail and let everyone down. 

"I'm useless..." he choked as tears ran freely from his bloodshot eyes and were quickly absorbed in the LCL.  Thoughts of failure and uselessness bombarded the distraught pilot as every time he had ever failed flashed before him in rapid succession.  He began to shake with his sobbing as he knew that he was the only one who could save everyone and yet he was too weak.  Again the image of holding Rei in front of Unit 01 and saving her appeared.  Then his short battle with the 4th angel from which he emerged victorious.  The only times he had ever succeeded had been with Unit 01.  He felt a soft caress as a gentle voice spoke through his mind.

You can do this, you are not useless.  Together we can not be defeated.  Shinji, not being of a clear enough state of mind to comprehend the exact meaning behind the words or where the words originated from took strength from them and the warm feeling he was experiencing. 

I can't fail them, I can't let them down he spoke to himself, over and over, softly at first before the chant echoed in a rising crescendo.  Forcing himself to focus on the targeting computer he was relieved to find his vision slowly clear until he could finally see the target and the crosshairs.  Pain flared through his head as he forced himself to focus harder then he had ever done before but he pushed through the pain this time.  The computer beeped its firing solution scant seconds after Rei's shield failed and Unit 00 felt the full fury of the 5th angel's attack.

* * * * *

Rei gasped as her EVA was hammered in the chest and its armor buckled and melted under the intense energy.  The force of the blast knocked her back a step but despite the pain she kept her EVA on its feet and remained in the path of the beam.  Whilst Unit 01 could endure several seconds of the concentrated blast, Unit 00s armor was far less effective and offered only a token resistance to the beam.  Thankfully, it didn't have to endure the savage beam for long as Unit 01 finally discharged its rifle.

This time the pulse of concentrated energy shot true and sliced straight through the angel's AT field before burrowing through its armored side and gutting it completely.  Such was the power of the beam that it passed straight through the floating behemoth and lanced out of the other side disappearing into the horizon.  With the angels death the powerful drill stopped descending and the massive body of the angel finally succumbed to the laws of physics and crashed heavily into the ground, leveling several buildings under its enormous bulk.

Unit 00 finally collapsed once the pressure of the particle weapon stopped hammering against its chest.  I protected Ikari  Rei thought with a hint of a smile on her face.  She was confused by the recent events which had almost cost the third child his life and she was still uncertain of what she actually felt at the time.  The recently embraced emotions seemed like a distant memory to her and she couldn't revive the feelings she had experienced.  Who was this boy that could make her feel this way and act like she had never done before?  This was something she would have to give great consideration to.

This isn't over, Ikari's days are numbered and I shall be here to witness his death!  The thought made Rei shiver and the almost imperceptible smile she wore before changed into her normal neutral expression.  She didn't have long to worry before everything went black around her as she embraced the darkness.

* * * * *

I did it.  I killed the angel and saved them.  I can't ever let them down thought an exhausted Shinji Ikari as confirmation of the shot was made.  His joy was short lived however as he looked over at the hulking form of Unit 00 and a small cry escaped his lips as he saw it sprawled face down in front of him.

"Rei" he uttered her name almost silently.  The tears returned to his eyes as he realised that he was too late to save her.  Unconsciousness came to claim him then, but a voice made itself heard before he was enveloped by the darkness.

"Fear not my dear; she is alive because of you.  You protected her, just as we protected you."   Shinji relaxed at the kindness of the words and all his worries faded away.  Had his mind not been so foggy he might have recognised the voice, but as it was he could only embrace the love that carried with the words and drift off to the peace of unconsciousness.

* * * * *

"The target has gone silent" breathed Hyuga in relief.  Everyone released the breath they were holding and the atmosphere of the command centre lightened to a post battle calm.

"How are the pilots?" demanded Misato as both Eva's went silent. 

"They're both unconscious, but they're alive and stable" stated an emotionally drained Maya.  Everyone sighed in relief at this latest batch of good news.

"Eject the entry plugs and have medical crews dispatched immediately!" Misato all but yelled; the relief was short lived as her responsibilities reasserted themselves in her mind.  Whilst everyone else in the mobile command centre relaxed and joked amongst each other, Misato couldn't relax.  This was far too close for comfort and for the second time in as many battles Shinji had disobeyed her direct order. 

She didn't know what to do with him.  Last time he ran away after she confronted him, would he do so again?  Would he come back this time?  Would he do something even more drastic?  A whirlwind of possibilities thrashed through her already overburdened mind and she decided to forget about it for now.  After all, she still had to supervise the cleanup operation and she could think about how she would confront Shinji later.

"Mind explaining to me what the hell happened out there Ritsuko?" she asked as she turned to gaze at her friend.  Ritsuko stared levelly into her eyes and didn't reply for several seconds.

"I don't know" was her final quiet response.

"Bullshit!  First Rei couldn't move Unit 00 and her mind was attacked by something, then she screams out and regains control in time to save Shinji.  And then there's the fact that Unit 01 raised an AT field stronger than was even thought possible.  That's a very strange series of events and I want some answers damn it!" screamed an incensed Misato and as everyone knew, an incensed Misato is not someone to further antagonize.

"I can't give you the answers because what just happened today shouldn't have been able to happen.  You can scream at me all you like but I can't give you what you want" calmly replied the blonde scientist.  Misato gave her a vicious glare that would have sent a lesser person cowering in terror but Ritsuko held her gaze for a second before returning her attention to Maya's terminal.

There's so much going on that I don't know about.  What the hell are the EVA's and how is it that things like this can happen?  Misato's mind again ticked over madly trying to figure out answers for questions that she had insufficient information for.  After several moments her head started to ache and she stormed out of the command centre and headed over to the medical crew attending to Shinji.

* * * * *

Images appeared in Shinji's mind.  Not the usual painful ones that plagued his sleep but warm, peaceful ones which always seemed to flee from his grasp.  All the happy moments of his life seemed to flash before him (not that there were that many) and he took in every detail of every one of them that he could. 

He recalled his recent memories of becoming friends with Touji and Kensuke and all the fun that they had together.  The times that they joked around, the times that they went down to the arcade and even just being in school and enjoying each others company.  His memories of living with Misato, how she was always lightheartedly teasing him but at the same time looking out for his well being.  She was the first person whom he felt genuinely cared about him.  He saw when he first started taking cello lessons and how his teacher praised his natural ability to get the most out of the instrument.

Several more memories made themselves known to him and he embraced them all.  One final memory revealed itself to him before he started to awaken; it was of a voice, a serene and beautiful voice which he couldn't put a face to.  It spoke the most soothing words he had ever heard.

"You can do this, you are not useless.  Together we can not be defeated.  Fear not my dear; she is alive because of you.  You protected her, just as we protected you."  Images of his latest battle then played through his mind but they were not painful ones.  He let the images play out and he knew that he had done the right thing.  Everyone was safe because of him.  With these final thoughts and the soothing words fading away he slowly opened his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was how bright the room was.  Blinking rapidly, he tried not to focus his eyes on anything until the brightness lessoned considerably.  His eyes soon adapted to the harsh glare of the fluorescent lights above his bed and he could make out the patterns on the roof. 

"A painfully familiar ceiling" he mumbled to himself with a slight chuckle.  Sensing movement off to his left side he slowly turned his head and beheld a figure sitting next to him watching him intently.  Recognition hit him instantly and he smiled warmly.

"Hey Misato.  Been there long?" he asked whilst maintaining his smile.  Misato opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.  She just sat in mute shock at the warm and cheerful mood that Shinji was in.  Normally when he awoke from such on ordeal he was distressed and often depressed, never before had she seen such an honest smile from him.  Completely lost for words she just closed her mouth and stared at him for the next few seconds. 

"Don't worry Misato, I'm fine, really" he assured her.  Finally recovering from the shock that had paralysed her tongue, she managed to reply.

"I can see that.  Care to enlighten me as to why you're in such a good mood?"

"We won.  The angel was defeated and everyone's o.k."  He replied without hesitation.

"Don't you want to know how Rei is?" she asked tentatively.

"Ayanami's fine.  I imagine she's already out of hospital and home by now."  Misato blinked several times at him in surprise.  He'd been unconscious for the past 7 hours and Rei had left less than an hour before.  She hadn't stopped by his room and he hadn't even been conscious to realise that anyone was here anyway.

"Yeah, she left about an hour ago.  How did you know?"  Misato asked after long seconds in shock.

"I just knew" he replied cryptically.

"I see...Is this the reason for your good mood?"

"Yes."  Another long silence ensured as Misato tried to comprehend why Shinji was acting like this.  She studied him carefully but as far as she could tell he wasn't lying to her.  Shinji blushed and averted his gaze under her intense scrutiny.  That was all she needed to confirm that this was in fact her Shinji.  Still no closer to finding her answers she decided to grill him later until he finally confessed everything.  There were more important matters to deal with at the moment though she was not looking forward to dealing with them.

"Shinji..." she hesitantly began not wanting to spoil his rare good mood with what she had to tell him.  "The Commander wants to see you in his office as soon as you are up and about."  His smile instantly evaporated and was replaced by a frown of concern.

"Why does he want to see me?"  Misato struggled to find an easy way to tell him but couldn't figure out how to do so, so she just decided to tell him up front.

"It's because you disobeyed my orders again and almost lost Unit 01."

"What?!  If I hadn't stayed there then Ayanami would have been attacked and killed!" he blurted out in shock whilst his face contorted in anger.

"That may well be, but you almost got all of us killed.  I don't make suggestions in my job, I give orders, and orders are to be obeyed to the letter without question.  You're not experienced enough to make snap battlefield judgments, that's my job."  Her tone was soft but forceful and each word struck Shinji like a physical attack.  He flinched from her words and started shaking his head.

"I couldn't leave her Misato, I can't abandon my friends.  You told me that I have to face my fears and not to run away, and now when I stand my ground you tell me that it was wrong.  You're telling me that it was wrong to save the life of my friend!" he all but yelled at her.

"Don't quote me out of context Shinji.  When you are ordered to fall back then that's what you do.  I am glad that you saved Rei's life, but this is the last time I'm going to say this.  I am your commanding officer and you will obey my orders on the field of battle.  Do you understand?"  Her expression and authoritive tone of voice left no room for argument.  Shinji just sighed and mumbled a 'yes ma'am' whilst he lowered his head unable to meet her commanding gaze.

"You should get dressed, the Commander is waiting" she said in a lighter tone.  Shinji grudgingly nodded in agreement and made to sit up before remembering the last time he had been in a position like this and granted Rei a view the likes of which he wouldn't want to share again.  He blushed at the thought before asking Misato about his clothes.

"Oh they're over here" she said before rising and retrieving them for him.  "I'll just be waiting outside for you" and with that she retreated from the room to wait for him. 

* * * * *

Ten minutes later Shinji entered the dark and foreboding office of the most powerful man in the world, his father.  This was the first time he had set foot in the office and he instantly felt uncomfortable.  The ludicrous size of the room combined with the low lighting and the imposing figure at the other end made Shinji want to run far, far away.  He suppressed a shudder as he slowly made his way across the gargantuan office and stopped a good ten meters from the desk. 

"I have brought Pilot Ikari as ordered sir" informed Misato in a stiff, respectful voice.

"I can see that Captain."  He paused as he looked at Shinji.  "Do you know why you are here?" 

Shinji's right hand unconsciously clenched and unclenched as his father glared openly at him waiting for a response.

"Because of my actions during the battle" he replied in a soft whisper.  He barely managed to keep a tremble and stutter out of his voice as summed up his reason for the 'visit'.

"Correct.  You were given a direct order and you disobeyed.  Again.  I do not tolerate insubordination and your continued disregard for your superiors is a very dangerous habit.  What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I...I couldn't leave Ayanami to die."

"Irrelevant.  If you are given an order then you are to obey it to the letter.  You do not think of the consequences and you do not question the judgment of the person who gives the order.  You do what you are told when you are told to.  I will not tolerate any more of your incompetence."

Shinji looked down at his feet in defeat.  He was terrified of his father and being berated by him was the worst thing in the world for him, for he desperately wanted his father to take notice of him, to praise him.  Though he wouldn't admit it to anyone he longed for even a single kind word from his estranged father.  Once again all he gets is ridicule.

"Since you obviously haven't learnt your lesson a harsher punishment will be required.  You are to be confined to a cell for the next three days.  After this time you will resume your duties as the pilot of Unit 01."

"You can't be serious!" hissed a stunned Misato.  "He's just a kid; you can't lock him up in a cell!"

"Unless you wish to be similarly confined I suggest you learn the value of silence, Captain."  Misato glared daggers at Ikari but he was far from intimidated.  He pushed a button on his desk and two burly section two agents strode into the room and stood on opposite sides of Shinji.

"Remove him" he ordered simply and Shinji was led from the room.  Misato followed quickly after, her body tensed with barely suppressed rage. A door slid silently open from the back of the chamber once the four bodies departed and a tall figure strode over to stand behind Gendo.

"That was a little harsh don't you think?  Confining him to a cell?"

"He must learn the consequences of his actions.  I can not have a pilot who won't listen to orders for that will leave us open to unnecessary risks" Gendo retorted coldly.

"But he's your son Ikari.  Don't you even care a little?" he asked desperately.

"He is merely a tool.  All that matters is the scenario" and with that sub-Commander Fuyutsuki shook his head and left the room.

* * * * *

Across in the old part of Tokyo III stood an all but abandoned apartment block.  The building was large and nondescript with drab grey walls and was in a state of disrepair.  The sounds of heavy construction work echoed loudly across the empty expanse as workers continued their never ending battle to keep the fortress city in top condition.  The constant racket would be enough to drive anyone insane, anyone that is, except for Rei Ayanami.  She lay on her stomach facing the head of her bed with her legs suspended in the air behind her and her arms crossed under her chin.  Whilst she maintained a calm exterior her mind was in turmoil, or what could be considered turmoil for the calm and collected girl.  Her recent experiences in the battle against the fifth angel and the third child both weighed heavily upon her mind.

Rei was used to painful experiences with Unit 00, after all she had almost been killed during the first activation experiment and spent a couple of months recovering from her injuries, but this was different.  The reactivation test was a success and she had no difficulty at all in maneuvering the massive war machine up to the mountain, nor moving it into position for the battle.  It was only when she attempted to protect Shinji that she had found herself incapable of operating the EVA.  The voice that screamed for Shinji's death was dripping with pure, unrestrained hatred and coincided with the intense pain she experienced.  Rei thought that she recognised the voice but couldn't be sure as the agony she was feeling pretty much blocked out everything.  Where did the voice come from?  Why did it sound vaguely familiar?  Why did it hate Shinji?  Rei lay still for long minutes trying to figure out the answer to these questions but the answers continued to elude her.  Making no progress she decided to consider the other dilemma which weighed heavily upon her.  The dilemma of the third child, Shinji Ikari.

She often found her thoughts drifting to the shy third child though she wasn't sure exactly why she couldn't get him out of her mind.  No one except for the Commander had ever been worthy of her attention before and yet here was this boy whom she had only met a couple of months ago and yet he had somehow attained a permanent place in her conscience.  He was Commander Ikari's son and yet he was nothing like the Commander.  He was a shy, gentle and kind person who would bow to another's will rather than hurt them.  How he could be so different from his father was perplexing for Rei.  She had known the Commander for as long as she could remember and she felt a bond with him.  Not intimate like a father and daughter but more personal than Commander and subordinate.  She also felt a bond with his son Shinji as well, but that bond was a lot harder for Rei to define.  Shinji was one of the few people who genuinely tried to talk to Rei and seemed to enjoy her company.  Ever since she started attending school in the seventh grade people had avoided her and branded her such names as 'freak' or 'ice queen.'  Whilst she didn't care in the slightest what those people thought of her she found that she did care what Shinji thought of her.

So what was so special about him?  True he was kind to her but that in itself wasn't enough to make her feel this way.  Perhaps it was because he had risked his life for her twice out of genuine concern for her well being?  The first time when the Commander was going to make her pilot Unit 01 despite her injuries and the second time the day before in their battle with the fifth angel.  She learned after the battle that he had disobeyed a direct order to retreat because that would have left her at the mercy of the angel.  He jeopardised his own life as well as the rest of humanity just to save her.  How could someone risk everything for one person?  Didn't he know she was replaceable?  Isn't the safety of mankind more important than one life?  He seemed to genuinely care for her though he gave no reason and he asked for nothing in return.  He had sounded so concerned when she couldn't move her EVA and was in such pain.  His concern touched the emotionally inept girl, no one had sounded so worried about her life before, no one had even cared if she lived or died.  She was replaceable after all…

Then there was the matter of the feelings she experienced during the battle.  Rei had never been angry before, not even when she slapped Shinji for expressing his distrust of the Commander.  Yet when the voice spoke of its desire to kill him she felt what she could only imagine anger must feel like.  She wanted to silence the voice, find its owner and destroy them.  Such violent tendencies were foreign to Rei and she was mildly concerned by the experience.  Whilst she couldn't remember exactly how it felt she knew that she enjoyed it to a degree.  The other feeling she had was of concern.  She had never felt concern for another being in her life.  Not even when Touji punched Shinji did she feel any concern for him.  So why all of a sudden did she get that feeling?  Was it his scream of pain?  Yes, that must be it; she didn't like to hear Ikari in pain.  It was at that moment that she let down her guard and let her previously unknown emotions take control of her.  Her concern for Shinji was so strong that she acted in a way she had not even comprehended before.  Rei had never experienced an emotion as such before that moment as the Commander had always taught her that emotions were for the weak, but she knew that it was by embracing these emotions that allowed her to regain control of Unit 00 and protect Shinji.  Had the commander lied to her?  She didn't want to dwell on that possibility, as the Commander was the one who gave her a purpose.  Should that purpose be taken away her existence would be redundant.

Despite all her pondering she was only marginally closer to resolving her current conflict.  Since she didn't have much experience with emotions she was going to have to seek another's guidance to understand more fully what she felt.  She knew one thing though.  She knew that she cared for Ikari, though she didn't know the extent of that care.  She made up her mind then and there to seek out someone to assist her.

She couldn't ask the Commander because he would not approve of her new state of mind; similarly Dr Akagi was not a valid choice because she would report her to the Commander which would be worse then if she asked the Commander herself.  She could ask Captain Katsuragi as the outspoken woman seemed to be quite in touch with her emotions but Rei hadn't had much to do with the Operations Director before.  That left one person.  She would have to ask Shinji himself.  Rei had wanted to speak to him after the battle but decided not to visit him in hospital until she had attempted to resolve some of her concerns.  She now felt ready to face him.

With her newly found resolve she moved off the bed and strode purposely out of the door letting it gently shut behind her as she made her way on foot to the Geofront.

* * * * *

Misato stalked the endless halls of Central Dogma on her way to her office with an expression of fury firmly planted on her face and an aura of imminent death for those who got in her way.  Every muscle was tensed and her eyes blazed with barely contained rage at the injustice which was just committed.  People quickly averted their gaze from the volatile woman and some even went out of their way to completely avoid her knowing that it would be hazardous to their health to interrupt her.

Finally reaching her small office she kicked the door open before violently slamming it shut with all her strength, almost tearing it off its hinges.  A resounding clang echoed through the corridors of the subterranean structure and everyone nearby understood the message clearly.  Disturb me at risk of grievous bodily harm!  Not satisfied with the action she then set about kicking the walls repeatedly trying her best to break through the grey metal, though without much success, before pounding her fists into the desk until they were bloody from the repeated impacts.  Finally a scream of frustration escaped her mouth and she collapsed onto the floor with her head bowed and her bloody hands in her lap.

She was trembling with rage and despite the recent violent release she doubted anything short of wrapping her hands around Gendo's throat would alleviate the feeling.  How he could so coldly confine his only son to a cell for disobeying an order so that he could save a fellow pilot was beyond her.  Sure he needed to be disciplined but that was just too far, he's only 14 after all...  A soft noise was heard from across the room as the door cracked open and a face cautiously peeked around the corner.

Seeing Misato sitting on the floor against the desk with bloodied hands Ritsuko quickly entered the room, closing the door behind her, before going to her friends' side.

"Are you o.k.?" she asked softly knowing how violent the woman could get.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" she snapped venomously.  "He imprisoned Shinji for three days, three days for saving Rei's life!  Shinji, the kindest and gentlest person in this God forsaken world has been locked up for saving humanity just because he didn't do it exactly as the Commander planned!  What kind of sadistic bastard could do that to a 14 year old, especially his own son?!" she broke down in tears as her rage was replaced with guilt and uselessness.