Title: Star Trek: Gundam

Authors: JoIsBishMyoga ([email protected]) and Makoto Sagara ([email protected])

Archive: www.angelfire.com/anime3/makotosagara/frames/fanfiction.html, http://afallenangel.net/fandom/ , http://www.fanfiction.ws

Pairings: 3x4, 5+2

Category: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure

Warnings: Shonen-ai, Language, Crossover, AU

Disclaimers: Mako: Oh, we own nothing, not even our own places to live. We are only borrowing the G-boys and the Star Trek universe for play. We promise to return everything the way we found them. We make no money off of this. ^_^

Jo: Although we sure WISH we did... anyways, if you sue, you'll only be able to take the cat. That'll make my dad very happy, b/c she meows all night and scratches up the furniture.

Notes: Mako: I take NO credit in the idea that spawned this mess. This is what happens when you get 3 VERY uncooperative muses together to play. I just wrote it. I blame Jo-chan for the rest. Jo: It's all HER fault. *points at Mako* It was HER comment that gave me the mental image of Duo pretending to be Scotty! The rest just kinda... snowballed. Mako: Whatever. Anyway, so we couldn't drop the idea, and this is the result. Kill us later, ok? Jo: Or not. You might actually want more. We can't write more if we're killed. Mako: Yeah, what she said. *zips off, dragging Jo with her* Laters! Jo: Bai bai!

Captain's log, stardate 43055.2: We're on our way to system XP-1090-A, somewhere near one of the too-many neutral zones around the Federation. I've never been here, but our engineer tells me it's... well, I'd rather not repeat his words.

Our doctor has recovered from his recent... incapacitation. Commendations to our engineer and chief of security for admirably handling the ship while I was assisting the doctor in his recovery.

Aside from needing to restock our medical supplies, ship status is goo--*BLARING SIREN* WHAT THE---?! EVERYBODY UP, IT'S STARFLEET!!! (cut off by Captain Winner)

Captain's personal log, stardate 43055.3: Human colloquialisms are so difficult to comprehend, especially the archaic ones that Duo uses. He must have gotten a datapad on such slang recently, since several new terms have been added to his vocabulary since our last port stop a few weeks ago. What in the galaxy is a "buttfuck nebula"?

I asked Duo to elaborate, but he just grinned at me and ducked into a Jeffries tube to tinker with the engine, and Wufei can't -- or won't -- translate. I'm more inclined to think it's "won't". He's always more amused by Duo's odd phrases than anyone else. Trowa, of course, tries not to think about Duo's eccentricities much. They're too illogical for him.

Duo and Wufei. Commendations are certainly in order for those two. They have first dibs on our next big haul. They did a masterful job of taking care of the ship while Trowa and I went through pon farr. And Duo was so kind as to replace the cushions on all the seats while we were gone. We certainly needed the extra padding. (log cut by Captain Winner.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Captain Quatre Winner, a weak telepath from Betazed, cut his logs as they spotted a Federation vessel.

Trowa, the Vulcan doctor and his closest friend, spoke up. "The USS Melbourne, a Constitution-class vessel, crew compliment of 435 - they have not yet detected us, Captain."

"What the fuck are they doing off their patrol route?!" Engineer Duo Maxwell spoke up.

Winner spoke next. "Find us someplace to hide, gentlemen. I'll make sure there's no trace of the contraband. Duo, come with me."

Weapons specialist Wufei, a half-Klingon of the house of Chang, looked over his own controls. "Captain, borderline M-class planet, bearing 546 mark 2! It should work!"

"Then land!"

The small ship landed, bumpily on the barely livable planet. Captain Winner kept a close eye on the ship's radar.

"Ok, it seems that the Federation ship has passed over us." He looked at his three shipmates. "Just barely."

Duo turned around. "What do you suggest now, Quatre?"

"I have never seen this planet. It would be worthwhile to see if it is inhabited."

"I agree." Trowa said.

Quatre blinked, and then smiled. "Fine, Trowa, you are coming with me. Duo, you and Wufei go together. Keep communications open at all time. If there is any life on this planet, I want to know." He stopped and thought for a minute. "Be careful." He added. "We do NOT need any casualties."

The teams parted ways outside the ship, each pair checking their communicators and weapons before leaving the general vicinity of their ship.

After a while, Duo looked around. "I don't like the feel of this, Fei. Everything is too quiet."

"Agreed." Wufei's dark eyes shone with anticipation. "Hopefully, if we come across life forms, we will have a battle worthy of our skills."

"Man, that is sick. I don't want to fight. Well, at least not right now. I want to just get back to my engine coils." Duo whipped his braid in front of himself.

"Why are you moving so much, Maxwell?" Wufei shot a glance at his companion. "You will alert our enemies too soon."

"Paranoid much?" Duo replied, snippily.

"Suicidal much?" Wufei shot back.

"Nah, just like to have fun." Duo said, and started humming to himself.

Neither could accurately judge how far they had walked, bickering, but Wufei looked up and noticed a vague black shape in front of them. He threw an arm up, and it connected with the human in the stomach.

"Dammit, Chang, that hurt…." Duo yelled.

"Shut up, Maxwell." The half-Klingon warned.

"Wha?" Duo started, but looked in the direction his friend was looking in. "What the hell is that?"

"Shut up." Wufei hissed. "Contact Winner and Trowa. I'm going to have a closer look." He pulled out his phaser, and made sure that the setting was on stun only.

A arm stopped him from proceeding more than a few steps.

"Oh, NO you don't, Chang. You will wait till we contact Quatre and Trowa, and then we will ALL go and check it out."

All he got was a growl for a response, but Wufei stayed where he was.

"We don't know the hostile situation. So, you stay here with me, you big jerk." Duo grimaced, and pushed his communicator. "Q, come in, Q. This is Duo and Hot Shot Fei, paging the Q-monster."

A very weary voice came over the connection. "Yes, Duo? And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Captain Winner?"

"Never gonna happen, unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. Now, the reason I called."

Quatre audibly sighed. "That would be nice."

"Ha ha. Anyway, Fei and I found something. It looks like an old ship, but I'm not sure what race. I'm not going any closer to get a better idea till you two show up."

"Where are you?"

Duo took a look around, and noticed a large tree that would be spotted for several kilometers. "Do you see that large tree to the east?"

"Barely."

"We are about 2 meters east of it."

Trowa's dry voice spoke up. "We will be there in 15 minutes. Stay where you are until then." He cut the connection.

"Like I needed to be reminded?" Duo's face scrunched up into a pout. "Hell, I was the one who stopped you. When are they gonna start giving me some fucking credit?"

"When you stop using ridiculous nicknames." Wufei said.

Duo didn't say anything. He just whipped around and stuck his tongue out.

"Very mature, Maxwell."

"Who said I was mature?" Duo sat down and waited for the other two to come.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Trowa, what do you think they could have found?" Quatre asked.

"We do not have sufficient information to speculate."

Quatre bit back his next question, and tentatively reached out to touch the other pair's minds, just in case. He sighed heavily. "Not again. Don't they *ever* get tired of bickering?"

"Passionate discourse is an element in the courtship rituals of many cultures, including Klingon."

Quatre rubbed his head tiredly. "You'd think they would suspend their 'courting' in, oh, I don't know, potentially dangerous situations like this one?"

"That would seem to be the logical course to take."

They were quiet for the rest of the short journey to their comrades. They found Duo sitting at the foot of the tree, visibly sulking, with Wufei standing next to him, eyes fixed on the ship.

"Is that it?" Quatre asked, as Duo got to his feet.

"Yup. That's it," Duo said, as Quatre and Trowa peered towards the derelict. "So... Are we gonna take a look at it?" Duo looked at the others eagerly. "I want to know what I can scrap from it for our ship."

"All right," Quatre said. "Let's go, but be careful."

"Yes, Mother."

"Very funny, Duo."

The four slowly made their way towards the fallen ship. Less than a meter from the nearest bulkhead, Trowa's arm snapped out to block the others.

"This ship seems oddly familiar."

"Familiar?" Duo asked. "Now that you mention it... it looks like abso-friggin-nothing that I've ever seen." Trowa raised an eyebrow at Duo.

"Nevertheless, I find this technology to be reminiscent of some I have seen before."

"Uh huh. Right, then. Okay." Duo clapped his hand on Trowa's shoulder. "Tell ya what, if you recognize it, you can lecture us all about it. Until then... I'm scrapping it." He whirled away and climbed through the gaping hole in the bulkhead.

Quatre could've sworn he heard a mutter of, "And he yells at ME about going in alone," as Wufei climbed up and dropped into the ship after Duo. He glanced at Trowa, who raised an eyebrow at him, before they trailed the other two. They had to wait for their eyes to adjust to the sudden plunge into darkness.

Their teammates' voices rang through the ship. "SUGOI!" Duo, definitely thrilled. "There's someone here! LOOK!"

"Don't touch him, Maxwell!" Wufei, definitely NOT thrilled. Quatre and Trowa hightailed it to the next room, where the others stood. Duo and Wufei were facing off, yet AGAIN.

"Chill out, Wu-chan!" Duo snapped, pointing wildly at one wall. "Repeat after me, sta-sis-cham-ber. Coz THAT'S what the guy's in, and THAT'S where he'll stay unless and until I find the button that OPENS the damn thing."

"Duo, have you considered the possibility that the alien may be better off within the chamber?" Trowa asked.

"Whatcha mean?" Duo peered into the chamber's glass casing. "He looks fine to me." He took an arm and wiped the dust and cobwebs off. "WHOA! Ohshitohshitohshit!" Duo tried to back away, and ended up falling on his rear.

Quatre ran over to look inside with Duo. "Dear me."

Wufei growled. "What is it?"

Trowa looked inside, taking Duo's former place. "The being inside appears to be a Borg." He stepped back.

Quatre gasped, horrified. Duo turned around, a look of terror pasted all over his face. Wufei readied himself for a battle.

Trowa continued. "Although the technology with which its body has been augmented, is far more primitive and less pervasive than that of any other specimen I have encountered."

Duo gave a questioning look. "And that means WHAT exactly? That it's an old model?"

"In essence, yes."

Wufei set his phaser to the highest setting. "Trowa, move," he growled menacingly.

Quatre stepped in front of Wufei. "No. We don't have any idea of the situation. We can't just kill him yet."

Wufei glared at his captain. "Yes we do. It is a Borg, we can either kill it or be assimilated. I would rather forgo the second option."

Quatre glared back at his chief of security. "Do I have to make that an order, Chang?"

Wufei growled, openly hostile, at Quatre. "Do I have to attack a superior officer, Winner? MOVE, before it wakes up."

Duo looked at his friends, who were both tense and very serious. "Do you really think he's gonna wake up after God-only-knows how many centuries?"

"Approximately five." Trowa informed him.

"Thank you, Mr. Know-It-All." Duo shot back.

"You are welcome." Trowa deadpanned.

"That was sarcasm, Tro."

Wufei glared at the human. "I don't care how many centuries it has been sitting here. It is a security risk."

Quatre gave his half-Klingon security officer a glare that would have stopped the blood in anyone. "We don't even KNOW that yet. It's IN STASIS. It's BEEN in stasis for centuries, probably since before the ship crashed. Who knows if it can even survive outside the chamber anymore? It's no threat. I will NOT condone murder!"

Quatre's outburst was followed by a long and tense silence. Duo watched as the captain and security officer glared daggers at one another.

Suddenly, Quatre sighed, his eyes softening. "Where is the honor in pulling the plug, Wufei?" He said, sadly.

Wufei froze, appalled at the statement. He growled and walked away, muscles visibly tense while he set his phaser back to the original stun position, all the time cursing under his breath in Klingon.

"Hey! I resent that last comment, Fei-kun! What did I ever do to you?" Duo said in English, shocked.

Wufei replied, snidely, in Klingon.

Duo glared at Wufei. "You'll be getting PLENTY of the temper -- and NONE of the nga'chug -- for that little comment. And don't think I'm not wise to your idea of seduction, you filthy horn dog. If I see it, I'll cut it off, kapish?"

"GENTLEMEN", Quatre snapped. "And Duo."

"HEY!" Duo yelled.

"Do you still want to salvage anything?" he asked sweetly.

"Yes." Duo stomped away, muttering under his breath something that sounded suspiciously like, "What is this, Pick On The Human Day?"

"If the armor fits…" Wufei said.

Duo just glared at Wufei, and went to check out the rest of the ship. He came upon a huge pile of debris. "This looks promising," he said under his breath, moving pieces of metal and broken cords out of the way.

Something above him creaked menacingly, and Duo froze. Abruptly, a large chunk of ceiling buckled and fell, nearly hitting Quatre.

"That was close," Quatre said, trying to mask the anxiety in his voice.

Trowa came over to Quatre, and gave him a quick once over, checking for injuries. "You appear to be unharmed, Captain, but I wish to ascertain that upon our return to the Gundam."

"Thank you, Trowa."

Wufei moved to examine the fallen rubbish. He noticed a faint flashing. He moved the largest piece out of the way, and that's when he saw the telltale sign of the revival sequence beginning.

Duo came over, and noticed the sequence. "Oh SHIT!"

"What?" Quatre asked, coming over to join the others.

Wufei pulled out his phaser. "Captain, we're about to see the honor in killing off a drone AFTER it wakes!"

Quatre instinctively whirled to face Wufei, eyes skittering past him to the glowing readout. The cycle was nearly complete. "RETREAT!" he yelled, pushing Trowa towards the exit. Wufei reacted instantly, on his feet and pulling Duo with him before Trowa reached the open door. Quatre paused for an instant, seeing the readout flashing at the end of the revival sequence, and bolted after his crew. He heard the unmistakable sound of the stasis chamber falling open as he kicked the door shut behind him and ran for his life.

TBC…