"He's the most wonderful, handsome, yummy scrumboes guy I've ever laid eyes upon besides Hao down by the pub who incidentally wants to take over your kingdom, Father!" Horohoro frantically explained his situation to his parents. They were seated on their thrones in the middle of the Luh Field of the Shamans, where the Kingdom of the Shaman was located.

"And you want him to be your Queen." His father rubbed his temples.

"To put it bluntly, yes."

"You do realize he's a boy right?"

"You always thought I was a nut."

"And his name is Renalina you say?"

"Well, he likes to be called Ren."

The Shaman King sighed. "Not that that helps any. Son, I always knew you were a nut.--"

"Did I not just say that?"

"—but you are next in line to be the Shaman King! How can you produce an heir?"

Horohoro stared blankly and looked hopefully to his Mother. The Shaman Queen smiled weakly. "If Pilika has a child, he or she will be the heir. If our son is in love, a man though it may be, we cannot stand in the way and make his life miserable."

Horohoro did everything he could to restrain himself from glomping his Mother. "Sankyuu!" he beamed.

She only waved him off. "Go, bring this Ren to us so we can meet him."

Horohoro nodded. "I'll head out right away!" And he ran off towards where Kororo and his snowboard were waiting.

What he didn't tell his parents was that Ren was more intent on killing him than kissing him.

On the way to the windowsill where he first met Renalina, Horohoro was so overjoyed to see his love again that he talked to all the creatures he could on the way.

"Hi, fish!" He called down to the creek. "I'm still working on that ban of non-Koropokkuru safe tuna!"

"Hi birds!" he called to some owls in the trees. "I'm off to catch my own prey!"

"Hi, Marco!" he called to a frogman who had a large sack on his shoulder. "Nice to see you outside of your usual X-Laws routine!"

And, humming, he flew to the infamous windowsill only to find that Ren was no longer there.

~*~

Going back a bit, we find Marco hopping along the ground to the windowsill that he just happened to know that Ren was at. Upon reaching it, he wasted no time in nabbing the sleeping Ren.

Without a fight of course. Ren sensed his presence and sat upright in his walnut bed as soon as Marco shut the lid. His cowlick broke through the shell like a knife and Ren screamed… like a girl. But since his voice was a woman's anyway—no one seemed to care. (Note: I worship the ground Paku Romi walks on, by the way.) Ren immediately resorted to pounding on the walnut shell demanding to be let out. He hadn't seen his kidnapper, so he thought it to be Horohoro.

"Let me out, dumbass!" he continued to pound. "I'm going to KILL you!"

"Put a sock in it." Cam an unfamiliar voice and seconds later, Ren was shoved into a sack, hoisted onto a shoulder and out of the room. The bump had needless to say, make him a little dizzy and he fell unconscious.

He awoke some hours later to find himself in a miniature floating stage of some sort. A green haired girl was leaning over the sideo f the walnut shell, and as soon as she realized that Ren was awake, she squealed.

"Oh! You're awake! Can I get you anything?" she asked, excited.

Ren rubbed his head. "Aspirin would be nice… er… who the hell are you?"

"I'm Lyserg." She said. "One of the stars in the traveling troupe, the X-Laws!"

"That's a stupid name."

"Jeanne came up with it!" Lyserg pouted.

"…Jeanne?"

"Another performer in the troupe. We're a magic act." Lyserg explained. "She's the one who gets in this Iron Maiden thing and we stick knives in her and she comes out unscathed."

"And what do you do?"

"I'm a hypnotist." She beamed. "I just use my crystal…" she pulled out his diamond shaped rock attached to a string. "It's quite an wesome performance."

"Yeah." Ren rolled his eyes. "I'll bet. Listen," he stood up and got out of his walnut shell bed. It was morning and dew covered everything. Not to mention he took quick note that water surrounded him from all sides. "I really need to get home, my sister will be very worried."

"You can't go!" Lyserg cried. "Marco took you to be my husband! You can be my assistant, and help with the magic show! You could be a human dart! We'll name you the 'Most-yummy-scrumboes-guy-besides-Hao-down-by-the-pub-who-incidentally-wants-to-overthrow-the-Shaman-King!"

Ren blinked. "Isn't that a little long?"

"No." she replied.

Ren sighed. "I am NOT going to be your husband either. I don't need a wife."

"Wife?" Lyserg wrinkled up her nose. "But I'm a boy."

Ren chocked on air, then managed to subconsciously look down to see the familiar bulge in the green haired boy's pants.

"Don't worry." Lyserg smiled. "People make that mistake a lot. We even have a part of the show where an audience member guesses my gender."

"I…see…" Ren said. "I'm leaving."

Marco suddenly appeared. "You are NOT going anywere. We have a show startingi n one hour and you're going ot be our star attraction."

Ren's cowlick began to grow. "I. am. NOT."

"Yes you are! I had Jeanne prepare a costume for you. I suggest you hange right away." Marco dropped a box on the floor by Ren's feet and pushed up his glasses.

Ren took one look at the box and opened his mouth to protest, but Lyserg beat him to speaking.

"Oh, look at the pretty costume!" He dug into the box and pulled out a black leather stomach shirt and black pants with diamond cuts up the legs that went too high for Ren's liking.

"I am NOT wearing that." Ren scowled. "The cuts go too high. People will see my boxers."

"Don't worry!" Lyserg grinned. "Wear a thong! I think I have an extra."

"A WHAT?!"

-

Ten minutes, three bites, ten hair pulls and four thousand two hundred and sixty one shouts of protest later, Ren was clad in his show uniform, complete with an extra thong of Lyserg's.

"This is so degrading." Ren narrowed his eyes.

"You're so gorgeous!" Lyserg swooned. Marco just nodded in agreement.

"We'll have to get things ready and we can't have you going anywhere." Marco explained. "We'll be back n a half hour. Until then, I'm going to blatantly stick you on this deserted lily pad as a watery prison. Have a nice day."

Lyserg and Marco boarded their traveling little water troupe thingy and sped off into the distance, leaving poor Renalina looking like a slut who forgot to drink their daily amount of coffee alone on a lilypad.

That was, until he heard some REALLY annoying singing coming from somewhere above him.

"Yooooou're sure to do impossEEble things. If yoooo follow, your heaaaaaaaaart!"

"What. The. Hell?" Ren finally found the source of the annoying voice. This… person was hopping around with a little shiny stick. The stick was glowing from the bottom with this eerie blue light and it appeared that the light was allowing the person to propel himself around.

The person spied little Renalina down on the lilypad and landed beside him to see what was up. "Yo!"

Ren stared.

He had this awfully lazy grin on his face, and he stepped closer to Ren and tilted his head. "I'm Yoh. Aaaasakura Yoh. You look like a slut who forgot to drink their coffee."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Who are you?"

"Tired of you."

"Nice to meet you!" He grinned. Suddenly this little blue floating ball appeared beside Yoh's head. Ren gawked at it for a second, and for another second when it talked.

"Yoh-dono. I think he's in trouble."

"Trouble, you say?" Yoh tilted his head again. "Let's help him."

"He doesn't look like he wants your help, Yoh-dono." The blue head talked again.

"That talking piece of shit is right." Ren folded his arms. "I can get off this thing by myself. I don't need help from you."

"Hey!" Yoh cried. "That 'talking piece of shit' is my friend, Amidamaru! You take that back!"

"No."

"I won't help you…"

"I told you, I don't need your help."

"I think you have a stick up your bum."

"No, only a thong."

"A WHAT?!"

"Just… GO AWAY!" Ren screamed in Yoh's face. Yoh just stood there for a second before smiling.

"I'm gonna get you off this thing."

"I said—"

"I don't care. I'm going to help you." He laughed this odd little 'eh-hehe' and hopped off the side of the lily pad.

He must have used the twig as a sword and sliced through the stem of the lilypad, because before Ren knew it, he was floating down the creek current. He couldn't believe it. The idiot had actually set him free. Not that he needed the help, of course.

Yoh reappeared in the water beside the floating lilypad. "How's that for good deed of the day, eh, Amidamaru?"

The floating head appeared next to him. "It was pure brilliance, Yoh-dono."

Ren rolled his eyes and suddenly had to steady his feet as the current got faster. And we all know that that can only mean one thing.

"You. DUMBASS!" Ren shouted at the laughing Yoh in the water. "You didn't save me, there's a fucking waterfall and I'm going to DIE now!"

"Look, I won't help you if you're going to be so ungrateful."

"YOU DIDN'T HELP ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

This tiny voice from the shore of the creek started hollering over both Ren and Yoh's voices. "Some people are TRYING to sleep!"

They looked over to see a tiny little girl who was even smaller than Ren. She had this adorable little dress on and was holding a toothbrush. "Who's the kid?" Ren asked.

"Milly. Part of the Lilly 5." Yoh sighed out of boredom.

"I hope you know there's a waterfall over there." Milly said.

"WE KNOW THAT!" Both Ren and Yoh snapped at her.

"Oooooh! You don't talk to me like that!" and she pulled out a crossbow from who-knows-where and shot Ren right in the chest.

"You… you SHOT him!" Yoh blasted out the creek. But it was too late. The shot from Milly had sent Ren flying from the lilypad and onto the shore. But he wasn't moving at all.

"Hey, hey, SPEAK to me!" Yoh shook him hard.

Ren coughed up water. "Get your paws off me you damn dirty shaman." And he pulled a miniature plunger off of his chest. Which was Milly's random roundabout way of saving Ren's life.

"Right, Sorry." Yoh dropped him. "Wait, how come you know I'm a shaman?"

"Only Shamans have those." He pointed to Amidamaru.

Yoh laughed again. "You know, you're almost as yummy scrumboes as Hao down by the pub who incidentally wants to take over the Shaman King's throne."

"Like I haven't heard that one before." Ren coughed up more water. Suddenly, this completely random idea sparked in his head. "Say, Yoh. You can sort of fly. Do you think you can take me back to my sister's place?"

"Dude, I don't even know your real name."

"Ren, ok?"

"Oh, so YOU'RE Ren!"

"What the—you know me?"

"Yeah, everyone in the Shaman Kingdom knows you! You've been chosen by none other than the Shaman Prince Horohoro to be his uh… spouse." Yoh beamed. "You're lucky."

"I met the guy last night!"

"You're REALLY lucky then."

"I," Ren shouted. "Am not lucky at all. I want to KILL him."

"Well, that's not nice."

"Of COURSE it's not! Because I'm not nice!"

"You need some Anger Management. Stay here. I'll go find some, OK?" Yoh pulled out his twig again and it started to glow blue.

"Wait! Yoh, you have to take me to my sisters!" But by then, Yoh had waved his goodbyes and propelled himself out of the area and into the blue sky.

Muttering curses under his breath, Ren plunged into the grass next to him in hopes of finding someone that could possibly help him find his way back home. And if not, hell, he'd just find his way home by himself.

He took no more than two steps before this tall, skinny guy with the creepiest hair in all of the Shaman World stepped out from behind a flower and bowed low.

"I couldn't help but notice." He said in a calmlike manner, but that was soon gone because these ridiculous hearts appeared in his eyes and he swayed back and forth. "That you're more yummy scrumboes than Hao down by the pub that incidentally wants to overthrow the Shaman King!"

"Will people STOP with that?!" Ren trudged onward, ignoring him.

"Come back, my lovely!" The tall man ran after him. "I see you're troubled."

"That's not the half of it."

The man grinned. "I'm Ryu."

"Did I ask?"

"No, but I have a proposition for you."

"Do I care?"

"Probably not."

"Then, go away."

"Just hear me out!" Ryu got on his knees and pleaded. Ren was taken aback and he looked around him to make sure no one was around to see.

"Alright, already. Just… get off the ground."

"Ohhh, thank you thank you!" Ryu stood up and dusted himself off. "How would you like to see your name in lights? You'd be a STAR! The most famous uh… thing, ever! What do you say?"

"Why would I want that? I'm just trying to find my way home."

"Well, whoever is at home is probably looking for you and your name in lights would be a dead giveaway at where you are." Ryu stroked his chin and laughed at his cleverness.

Ren pondered this for a moment and finally gave in. It wouldn't hurt to get a little publicity anyway. After all, it would just prove to everyone else that he was better than them. "Alright. Tell me what I have to do."

~*~

"The Best Place?" Ren raised an eyebrow. "What a stupid name for a club."

"And you could do better?" Ryu said, a random vein twitching.

"I'd call it, The Ren."

"Just, GET ON STAGE!" Ryu shoved him out from behind the curtains and in the next moment, Ren found himself on a stage in front of hundreds of males. Drinking dewdrop beer or slapping each other's asses.

Ren cleared his throat and got everyone's attention. Ryu hadn't told him exactly what he was supposed to do, except: "You'll find out when you hit the stage. Trust me, you'll be a STAR!"