Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.  Information about the Falmouth Falcons is taken from Quidditch Through the Ages by Kennilworthy Whisp (aka J. K. Rowling).  Information about lethifolds is from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander (aka J. K. Rowling).

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter 10—March

"The good news," Professor Grianan said with a smile as he sat on an empty desk in the front of the classroom, "is that this will be the last major writing assignment you'll have to do for me.  After this report, we'll stick with practical lessons and short writing assignments as you prepare for your N.E.W.T.'s.

            "Choose your topic by our next class and have a second topic in case your first choice proves too popular.  Madam Pince will kill me if open warfare breaks out in the library because too many of you covet the same books. 

            "And on the subject of books, yes, you may have access to the materials in the Forbidden Section of the library if they pertain to your topic.  Just let me know what you need, and I'll write you a note.

            "Remus, could I see you for a moment after class.  The rest of you, class dismissed."

            Their Advanced Defense class was a large one with not only most of the seventh-year Gryffindors and Slytherins in the class, as was traditional, but a large number of students from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff as well.  Defense Against the Dark Arts had become a more popular class with every passing year that Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters continued unchecked. 

The Gryffindors all hung back as the Slytherins, on the left side of the room and thus closer to the door, made their way out.  The buffer zone of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs also left, and then finally the Gryffindors, who favored the right side of the classroom, headed into the corridor as well.

"May I escort you to lunch, Miss Evans?" James said as he offered Lily his arm. 

"Yes, you may, Mr. Potter—if you promise not to discuss Quidditch during lunch."  She took his arm with a smile.

"Not even a little?"

"Just a little."

"Well then, Ladies, may Mr. Pettigrew and I escort the two of you?" Sirius said as offered his arm to Maisie.  "I promise to discuss civilized topics."

"Quidditch is civilized," Maisie said as she took his arm, "unless we're talking about the Falcons."

"Let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads!" Maisie and Sirius quoted the Falcons' motto together and then laughed.

"And I thought football fans were bad," Lily said with a shake of her head.  "So what does everyone want to do for their reports?"

"I think I'll either do lethifolds or vampires," Ivy said.  "It all depends upon how much information I can find on lethifolds.  Vampires will definitely be easier to find material on, but maybe it's already been done to death—no pun intended."

"When I was little, one of my older cousins scared me so badly with stories about lethifolds that I think I slept with all the lights on for about a year," James said.  "Shadows at night terrified me."

"Yeah, I remember," Sirius said.  "You were thirteen."

"I was not!  It was when I four or five!" James said indignantly.  Sirius began to laugh.  "Prat."

"What are you going to do, Maisie?" Lily asked.

"I want to do something connected to dark magic," she said, "maybe spells that control or influence the mind."

"That's a good idea," James said.  "I think I'll do something connected to dark magic too, but I'm not sure what.  Might as well put the stuff we're studying to be aurors to good use."  They entered the Great Hall and found seats next to Eurydice.  "What are you going to do for your report, Lily?" James asked.

"This might sound weird, but when we were studying Dementors, I kept thinking about the fact that they effect Muggles even though Muggles can't see them, and the fact that the way Dementors make people feel is very similar to clinical depression."

"To what?" Ivy asked.

"It's a Muggle medical term.  So, I'm not quite sure what I'm getting at, but I think there's a report in there somewhere.  Maybe some cases of depression are misdiagnosed exposure to Dementors, or maybe there's some crossover in how they could be treated, or—something."

Remus had arrived in the midst of Lily's explanation.  "Clever girl," he said.  "Any report that requires the consumption of chocolate as research wins my approval."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," she said grinning, "but you're absolutely right.  Chocolate will definitely be required."

"What'd Grianan want to see you about?" Sirius asked as he passed the steak and kidney pie to Remus.

"He suggested a topic for my report."

"I bet I can guess."

"I wish you wouldn't."

"What did you say?" James asked.

"That I'd think about it."

"Which is Remus-speak for, 'Hell no, but I'm too polite to say it to your face,'" Sirius translated.

"Boring topic?" Maisie asked.

"No," Remus said with a half-smile as concentrated on buttering a roll, "but let's just say I wasn't too comfortable with why Grianan wanted me to write it."

"Bastard," Sirius muttered as he stabbed a piece of meat with his fork.

"I like Grianan," Remus rebuked him.  "He's straight-forward and honest; I know exactly where I stand with him.  And he's good at what he does, which I definitely like."  Sirius didn't reply, but he continued to stab at his meal.

"What are you going to write about, Sirius?" Ivy asked.

"I don't know.  I'm tempted to be lazy and write about werewolves, but I'd be better off following James's lead and actually learning something that would help me as an auror.  Who knows, it might save my life some day."

"Here's a lesson for you," Remus said a moment before his roll hit Sirius squarely in the face.  "Duck."

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius said as he wiped butter from his cheek.  "I'll treasure that lesson always."

"Why is it lazy to write about werewolves?" Lily asked.

"Because he's already researched the subject to death in past years, and he could write the entire report without opening a book," James explained.

"Too right," Sirius agreed.

"So you're the school's resident expert on werewolves, are you?" Lily asked.

Sirius laughed.  "I wouldn't go that far."

"I'd put you in the top two," Remus said as he pushed aside his already empty plate and opened a large and musty book.

"Ooh!  Professor Lupin gave me a compliment!" Sirius gushed in his best imitation of a twelve-year-old schoolgirl.  "Does this mean I'm the teacher's pet?" 

Remus chuckled but did not play along. 

"Go ahead, Lily," Sirius urged.  "Ask me anything about werewolves."

"I don't know."  She glanced around hopelessly at the others.  "Is it true that werewolves can't touch silver, or is that just a myth?"

"Too easy!" James exclaimed.

"Now, now, Jamesy.  It's Lily's turn," Sirius admonished.  "And the correct answer is they can touch silver, they just don't want to.  Ouch!"  The last word was said by all four boys simultaneously.

"My turn," Maisie said.  "Are werewolf bites contagious when they're in human form?"

"Hell no."

"Are you sure?" Ivy asked.  "Because I read—"

"Yes, I'm sure," Sirius said emphatically.

"My turn," said Remus as he looked up from his book at last.  "Name a dark magic spell that requires the pelt of a werewolf skinned alive."

"That's sick," Peter murmured.

Remus and Sirius stared at each other for a moment, and then Remus handed Sirius the book he had been reading.  "Maybe you should work on becoming an auror," Remus said.

"Yeah, maybe I should."

"Well, thank you so much for giving me something to have nightmares about, Remus," Eurydice said.  "Still alive?  That's so cruel."

"Being 'nice' isn't exactly a prerequisite for practicing dark magic," Sirius growled.

"They have to do it while the werewolf is still alive," Remus said coolly.  "Werewolves revert to their human state when they die, so if someone wants the pelt, the werewolf has to be skinned alive.  There are at least two spells that can do the job both quickly and neatly enough."

The bench beneath her began to shake slightly, and Lily saw that Sirius, sitting beside her, was shaking one leg as if highly agitated.   James, sitting on her other side, cleared his throat as he pulled off his glasses and began to polish them with his napkin.

"But it's just so—" Eurydice floundered for words.  "I mean, who cares if there's a few less werewolves in the world, but—"

"I care," Sirius growled in a low and dangerous voice.  "Werewolves are people, Dice, human beings.  Killing them is murder."

"But—"

"No buts," Sirius glared at her angrily.  "They're human beings who've been cursed against their will.  You don't generally hold people responsible for things done to them against their will, do you?"

"That's enough, Sirius," Remus said sharply.

Sirius fell silent but continued to glare at Eurydice.  She appeared close to tears.  Lily glanced over at James.  The tense set of his jaw, and the very deliberate way he was staring at the table betrayed that he was just as angry as Sirius and only slightly better at concealing it.  Lily looked at the other two boys.  Remus appeared calm, although he was watching Sirius carefully.  Peter's eyes were darting from one friend to another, betraying his nervousness.  Lily looked back at Remus again and saw that he was now watching her.

"Don't mind him, Dice," Remus said as his gaze shifted to the teary girl.  "There's nothing wrong with killing a werewolf in self-defense."

"She wasn't talking about self-defense," Sirius said in a low voice.  "And even if she were—"

"C'mon, Sirius," James said as he stood up.  "We're free next period, and I could use some practice against 'the beater from hell.'"

"I'll alert Madam Pomfrey to send a stretcher," Remus said as he took back the book he had given Sirius and put it away in his bookbag.

Remus and Peter left a few moments after James and Sirius did, but they made no effort to catch up.  It was only when all four of the boys were out of sight that Maisie laughed nervously and dispelled the tension they had left behind.

"Well, that was a touchy subject.  Sirius must know a werewolf," Maisie said, echoing Lily's own thoughts.  "Who do you suppose it is?"

"One of his relatives, most likely," Ivy replied.  "The way that family is steeped in dark magic, I'm not surprised to learn that one of them is a werewolf."

But that didn't sound quite right to Lily.  Whoever the werewolf was, it was obviously someone Sirius cared about, and they all knew that Sirius and his family weren't on speaking terms.  "There was that one uncle he liked, the one who died a few months ago," she thought.  That theory seemed possible.  If the werewolf wasn't a relative, the only other possibility was that it was a friend.  As far as Lily knew, Sirius hadn't remained friends with any of the children he had been permitted to play with as a child.  Almost to a one, they had become Slytherins, and the enmity between Sirius and their Slytherin classmates was legendary.  "Not that it could be one of them anyway.  They'd never let a werewolf into Hogwarts, and if they ever found out one was a student, he'd— 'be thrown out of school so fast he wouldn't even have time to pack.'"   James's words about Remus's "illness" came back with startling clarity.  "Remus?"

Lily realized that she had to sort this through.  All of the clues and hints were at war within her mind.  Some details, like Sirius's obsession with the subject and the anger both he and James felt when Dice had said, "Who cares if there's a few less werewolves in the world," fit into the puzzle.  Other details, like Remus's calmly defending Dice, didn't.  She pulled out of her reverie and realized that the others had moved on from Sirius's family in general to Bellatrix in particular.

"Her eyes are deep-set enough," Ivy said.  "The kohl is overkill."

"I'll see you guys later," Lily said as he picked up her bag and headed out of the Great Hall.  She needed quiet and privacy.  She couldn't go to the common room; James and Sirius had been headed back to Gryffindor to get their cloaks and brooms.  She decided to go find an out of the way corner of the library.  If Remus and Peter were in the library, a slight detour could bring her to the prefects' office instead.

As she headed in her chosen direction, her mind returned to the puzzle.  The biggest problem, "Remus just doesn't behave like a werewolf."  She still remembered the fearsome portrait painted of the monsters by Professor Swiven, their Defense teacher for their first three years. 

He had said, "Although they only reveal their true form during the full moon, the blood-thirsty wolf is always there.  Even in human form, a werewolf is violent, ruthless, and untrustworthy.  If it manages to control its murderous urges while human, it's not because it has regard for human life.  A beast doesn't have a conscience.  It's merely trying to avoid detection.  Every werewolf lives for that one night a month when it can glory in the hunting and eating of human flesh."  And it wasn't just Swiven.  Most of the books said much the same.

"So he isn't a werewolf," Lily thought.  "He can't be.  But if he isn't a werewolf, what is wrong with him?"  She knew that most of the time he seemed healthy, but that his illness occasionally flared up badly enough to put his life at risk and to put him in hospital for several days. "Lots of illness can behave like that; sickle cell anemia, MS, malaria—but his symptoms don't match any of those."  She also knew that he was contagious.  "James said so—but he also said that he was only contagious 'sometimes.'    What kind of illness is contagious 'sometimes'?  Lots of illnesses: measles, chicken pox, mumps, you're only contagious for a limited amount of time.  But repeatedly contagious?  On the same days it flares up?"  Lily couldn't find the answer. 

Only a few people were visible in the library, and Remus was not among them.  Lily made her way to her favourite out-of-the-way desk hidden in the Charms section.  It was the place she went when she wanted to work or to revise undisturbed.

Out of curiosity, Lily opened her homework planner and looked to see if the dates of the full moons were marked on the calendar.  Her hand stilled over the page as she saw a circle printed on February fifteenth.  If it hadn't been the night after Valentine's Day, the night after the murders, she probably wouldn't have remembered when Remus had been ill.  "Just coincidence," she tried to tell herself.  She tried to remember other dates when he had been ill, but she couldn't.  One day he'd be in class, the next day he'd miss part or all of the day's classes, and then he'd be back, surrounded by his friends.  And for the life of her, Lily couldn't remember when those days had been.  Had it been exactly once a month?  Had it always been the full moon?  She looked at March in the calendar.  "Tuesday, March sixteenth.  Will Remus be absent the next day?"

"Assume for a minute that he might be a werewolf," she told herself.  "Do the other symptoms of his illness fit? Occasionally contagious?"  That one matched.  Sirius had been quite emphatic that werewolves were only contagious in their wolf form.  "Self-inflicted injuries?"  For a moment, she didn't think it did.  Remus had apparently tried to slit his wrists.  The image of a wolf holding a knife between his teeth and trying to slit open the veins in his forelegs came unbidden into her mind like some sick joke.  Then she imagined the teeth themselves, sharp canine teeth, honed by evolution into weapons for tearing flesh, tearing into the wolf's legs.  She remembered reading stories of wolves caught in traps gnawing off their own limbs rather than remain trapped.  "Do werewolves do that if they're trapped somewhere?"

The next piece of the puzzle definitely did not fit.  James had said, "If we stay with him, we can keep him from injuring or killing himself."  If Remus were a werewolf, that would be impossible.  Professor Grianan was less hostile toward werewolves than Swiven had been, but even he had made it clear that there was no known way to tame or control a transformed werewolf. 

"Werewolves must be kept confined during the full moon, and if they escape, they must be killed," he'd said.  "Stunning spells are ineffective.  Driving werewolves off with other spells will merely shift the danger from you to someone else.  Unless they stay confined, they must be killed for the safety of all."

So how could James and his other friends stay with Remus during a full moon?  "We've come up with a way to stay safe while we're with him," James had said. 

Lily almost laughed.  "If anyone could come up with a way to stay with a werewolf and be safe, James and Sirius would be the ones to do it."

It almost all fit.  Except for the fact that Remus did not behave the way that werewolves were supposed to behave, it all fit.  "Supposed to behave," she reflected.  "The very definition of prejudice, assuming you know what someone is like based on a group he belongs to.  I thought you knew better than that, Lily."  Once she removed her preconceived ideas about werewolves, all the other clues began to mesh together.  Lily was reminded of a crossword puzzle.  Four, five, and six down seem impossible to solve until you realize that your earlier answer for four across was incorrect all along.

One other thing that James had said that morning came back to her clearly.  "If you ever do figure it out, it would really mean a lot to him to hear you say that you know and you don't care."  Lily wasn't quite ready to do that.  What if she had added two plus two and somehow had come up with eight?  If she told Remus that she knew he was a werewolf, and it turned out that he was not, she'd completely embarrass both of them. 

"Well, I know when the next full moon will be.  Let's see what happens."

* * * * *

"I hate Potions," Remus growled as he erased yet another mistake in his homework.  "I'm never going to pass my Potions N.E.W.T., so why am I torturing myself with this stupid class?"

            "You're doing it for the same reason that James and I are taking it," Sirius said as he inched closer to see what was giving Remus difficulty.  "You can't be an auror without a N.E.W.T. in Potions."

            "I can't be an auror whether I pass or not.  Remember?"

            "Maybe they'll change the rules soon," James pointed out.  "God knows they could use all the help they can get right now."

            Remus sat back in his chair and held out one hand palm up.  "Desperation."  He held out the other hand in the same manner.  "Prejudice."  He silently weighed the two.  The hand holding "prejudice" slowly sank down to the tabletop.

            "Well, if they're going to let a little thing like that keep you out, they probably won't want me either," Sirius said as he made a slight correction on Remus's parchment.  "Can you imagine trusting a Black as an auror?  We'll just have to wage our own private war against old Voldy."

             "Canine guerrillas," Remus agreed with a slight smile.

            "Don't leave me out," James said.  "You aren't breaking up a successful team."
            "Yes, we are," Remus soberly.  "You're both going to accepted for auror training.  You know you are."  He stared at Sirius until Sirius glanced down at his homework.  "You also know that I won't be.  I'm only applying because—I don't know why.  Maybe I want to force them to turn me down rather than acquiesce without applying.  But they will turn me down, and I don't want either one of you to do something stupid and refuse to join because I can't.  Now, help me pass Potions or I won't even be able to apply."

            "You'll pass," James said with slight smile.  "You'll barely pass, but you'll pass. You do know we're only applying because they need us right now, right?  If they didn't, we'd tell them that if they don't want you, they can sod off."

            "I know, Prongs, but they do need you."

            "What about Sinistra?" Sirius asked.  "He liked that ward of yours.  Do you think he might put in a good word for you?"

            "He might, but I doubt it will do much good.  But Grianan says a lot of people want additional wards and protective spells around their homes and business right now.  I'll probably be able to find some work doing that sort of thing, so don't start pitying me and my hopeless job prospects, O.K.?"

            "Pity you, never;" James said, "get righteously angry on your behalf, whenever necessary."

* * * * *

James pulled sharply left into a dive just as the bludger whistled by his ear.

"Wake up, Jamie!" Sirius shouted as he shot past.  "I almost got you."

"'Almost' doesn't count!" he shouted back.  But he grudgingly admitted that Sirius had accomplished what he wanted.  James had been positioning himself to receive a pass, but in the moment he was distracted, the other team had stolen possession.  He hung back and watched as one of the opposing chasers passed to her teammate, the quaffle was thrown, and—blocked!

"Time's up, everyone!" James shouted to the Quidditch players swirling around him before he pointed his broomstick toward the ground.  It was getting too dark to continue practice.  They were scrimmaging without seekers, so they didn't need to wait for the snitch to be found.  The Gryffindors starters and reserves landed around him.  They only had three remaining reserve players, hence the reason their seeker was filling in as a chaser for the reserves' team, and Sirius was filling his old role of beater.  Sirius alone had not yet landed.  He circled above, lazily batting away the two bludgers as they repeatedly circled back toward him.

"Ready!" Owen called up to Sirius.  Sirius hit the next bludger directly into the chest that contained the balls between practices, and Owen quickly secured it in with leather straps.  Owen looked back just in time to dodge out of the way when the second bludger followed the path of the first.  The reserve beater dove onto the bludger rather than allow it to escape again.  Owen assisted him in securing it into the chest.

Sirius landed a short distance away and went to sit with his back against the bleachers.  In the air, he'd help them scrimmage and train the reserve player who had moved up to take Isabel's place.  On the ground, he'd stay apart rather than pretend he was still part of the team.

"Ending practice a bit early tonight, aren't you James?" Vivian teased as she held a hand up in front of her face.  "I can still see my own hand."

"And the moon's pretty full tonight.  We could always play by moonlight," Owen agreed.

"Well, if you all want to skip both dinner and homework tonight," James said, "you're welcome to stay all night if you'd like.  But personally, I'm headed back to the castle in a minute.

"Leo, you're doing much better at getting open for passes.  Don't be afraid to get physical.  The other teams won't hold back, so you shouldn't either." 

The newly promoted chaser nodded.  "But I still feel like I'm always one step behind you and Priya."

"Priya and I have been playing together for two years.  No one expects you to know us as well as we know each other."  The words, "Or as well as Isabel knew us," were implied.  "Owen, you're getting back into the habit of watching the bludger after you hit it.  It's gone.  Look for the other." 

Owen nodded.

"Dinner ends in ten minutes," Sirius called out as he got to his feet.

"You heard the man," James said as he put his broomstick over his shoulder and headed up toward the castle.  Sirius fell into step beside him and the remainder of the team followed behind.

"Want a 'beaters and bludgers only' practice tomorrow evening?" Owen asked his fellow beaters.

"NO ONE is practicing tomorrow night," James said sharply as he turned to face the team.  "It's a full moon tomorrow."

"C'mon, James," Owen said.  "Werewolves in the Forbidden Forest?  It's just a story to keep the kiddies out."

"No, I've heard howling," Priya said.  "Open a window tomorrow night and listen."

"Bet you five galleons that you'll hear howling tomorrow night," Sirius said with a grin.  "Any takers?"

"Song of Myself," James said to the Pink Lady when the team finished eating their last minute dinner and made their way upstairs.

"I'm not letting you in the Common Room covered in mud."

"But we need to get inside to clean up."

"You should have taken changes of clothes down with you to the pitch and cleaned up in the locker room," she retorted.

"You're quite right, but we didn't.  Song of Myself."

"Very well," she said with a huff as she swung open.  "I will never understand how a game played in mid-air allows one to get so muddy."

James spotted Lily's glowing auburn hair the moment he climbed through the portrait hole and leaned over the back of a sofa to see her.  "Care to give your favorite Quidditch god a little kiss?"

"Sure.  When did Declan McCormack get here?"

"Ooh, you're cruel, Evans."

She gave him a quick kiss and said, "Bathe, and maybe I'll reconsider who my favorite is."

James caught up to Sirius just as he entered the seventh-year boys dormitory.  "Uh-oh," Sirius murmured at the sight of Remus pacing the diameter of the room.

"He's been doing that since you left," Peter said without looking up from his homework.

"I have not."

"Except for dinner, but then he started again as soon as we got back."

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.  James shut the door behind them, but they both hung back near the door out of Remus's path.

"She knows, James.  I can tell she knows.  She's been looking at me strangely all day."

"He said that he feels trapped up here," Peter added, "but he won't go downstairs because Lily's there."

"We've got awhile until curfew.  Let's go for a walk," Sirius suggested.  "I'll take you on the grand tour of all the sights."

Remus stopped pacing and considered.  "You could use a bath."

"Do you want to wait while I get one?"

"Not particularly." 

"After you, Mr. Moony," Sirius said as he held the door open and bowed dramatically.  As Remus started down the stairs, Sirius stage-whispered to James, "Maybe I'll talk him into letting me into the Prefects' bathroom."

"Good idea," James replied as he stretched his neck to one side and then the other.  The idea of immersing himself in the huge tub and soaking his sore muscles before they tightened up was quite tempting.  However, he too had noticed Lily watching Remus today.  If she had figured out Remus's secret, she might be awaiting tomorrow night's full moon to confirm her suspicions.  James hoped he could steer her into reacting positively—or at least not too negatively—when her suspicions were confirmed.  "But I think that I ought to take a quick shower and have another chat with Lily."

"Thank you," Sirius said as he followed Remus down the stairs.  "You're a prince among men, Prongsy."

He did shower quickly.  He didn't break his own record for "Oops, I'm late; gotta hurry" showers, but he didn't indulge in thinking about Lily while in the steamy heat of the shower either.  His only thoughts of Lily were of the "What am I going to say to her?" variety.  He ultimately decided to let her steer the conversation.  If she did suspect, she'd probably find a way to steer the subject to Remus.  And if she didn't suspect—although he found that less likely—the subject needed to be avoided.

Lily was still sitting cross-legged on the same sofa, a textbook and notebook open on her lap.  Ivy, sitting beside her, whispered something to Lily when she saw James.  Ivy then rose and announced, "I'm off to the library.  See you later."

"Don't keep your Ravenclaw waiting," James said with a grin as he took her vacated seat.

"His name is Jonathan."

James glanced around the common room.  Maisie, Dice, and Peter were working together at a large table halfway across the room.  However, he and Lily weren't exactly alone enough for the conversation they needed to have.  Younger students filled nearby seats.

"You clean up nicely," Lily commented.  "You smell much better at least."

"Am I your favorite Quidditch god now?" he asked as he began to twirl a lock of her hair around his finger.  There was something mesmerizing about the sheen of deep red against his skin.

"That would imply that you are a Quidditch god, and I'm not willing to make that implication.  I much prefer you the way you are now to the swollen-headed git you used to be."

"Swollen-headedness is indeed a terrible curse," James agreed in a sober tone, "and there are only two known countercurses."

"Enlighten me.  I may need to use them on you from time to time."

"You already do.  The first is the use of insults and put-downs; however,

those can have toxic side effects if an overdose occurs."

"So sorry," she murmured as she kissed him, "but if they work—"

"The second is a liberal application of kisses by an intellectual equal."

"Or superior," she added just before kissing him again.  The sound of someone deliberately clearing his throat made them both look up. 

"Sorry," Darius Murphy said with an embarrassed grin.  "Hate to interrupt, but I have hall duty tomorrow night, and a bunch of people from my Potions class want to have a study group for our upcoming test.  Since I took one of your shifts last month, James, I was wondering if maybe you'd take tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow?" James hated to say, "No."  After all, he did owe Darius.  And Padfoot and Wormtail could probably keep Moony entertained inside until he could get there, but—

"I'll do it," Lily said.  "James already has plans for tomorrow.  I'll let him take one of my shifts, and then we'll all be even again."

"Thanks!" Darius said grinning again.  "Back to what you were doing then."

James regarded Lily for a few moments.  She began to blush and stared down at their entwined hands. 

"I already have plans, do I?" he said very quietly.

"Well, I thought—never mind."

"No, you're right.  I do.  Are you O.K. with that?"

"Not really.  I'm worried about you, but you said that if you're there, it helps.  Are you sure you're safe?"

"Very sure.  Do you remember what I said?  When you figure it out, it would mean a lot to Remus to hear you say that you know, and you don't care."

She nodded without looking up at him.  "I'm right, aren't I?"

James chuckled.  "Considering that you haven't actually told me what you suspect, I can't tell you if you're right or not.  However, you have correctly deduced when, so—I can only suppose that you've guessed correctly.  Remus is having an absolute panic attack right now because he knows that you suspect."

"Why?" she asked as she looked up in surprise.  "I promised you that I wouldn't tell anyone."

"But you made that promise before you really figured it out.  He's afraid you'll react badly when you're sure."

She glanced back toward the portrait hole.  "I should talk to Remus and tell him I don't care."

"Please do.  Otherwise, he won't be able to sleep tonight, which means Sirius won't be able to sleep tonight, which means I won't be able to sleep tonight, and we'll probably keep Peter up for good measure.  Not to mention that—never mind."  He had been about to say that Remus might tear himself to shreds if he went into tomorrow night still worried, but that was going too far.  Lily didn't need that visual image.

"Where did he and Sirius go?" she asked as she closed her books.

"No clue.  We're best off just waiting for them here.

"In that case—" Lily opened her books again, "—want to help me study Potions?"

"We could study Defense instead.  You just might have some new questions about a particular dark creature."

Lily smiled.  She had guessed correctly.  "Or maybe I should ask Remus instead. He is the resident expert on the subject, isn't he?" 

"He is."  James smiled back.

"And he said that Sirius was in the top two, so that leaves you third at best."

It was just shy of curfew—Remus's doing, no doubt—when James's canine friends returned to Gryffindor Tower.  Given Remus's earlier reluctance to be in the common room, James expected Remus to disappear up the dormitory stairs, but instead, he came directly over and sat down in an armchair near Lily.  Sirius, half a step behind, perched on the arm of the chair.

"Discover any interesting new sights on the Grand Tour?" James asked.

"No, just rediscovered the old ones," Sirius replied.  He glanced at Lily and then mouthed the word "Well?" at James.

Lily didn't notice.  Her attention was on the quiet young man looking back at her.  "I owe you an apology, Remus," she said.  He looked puzzled, but before he could ask, she explained, "James said that I gave you a panic attack."

"Gee, thanks," he said dryly to James.  "Feeling much better now.  What's the worst that can happen?  Expulsion?  Complete and utter rejection and banishment?"

"Don't forget being chased through the village by an angry torch-carrying mob," Sirius added as he draped an arm around Remus's shoulder. 

"You aren't helping," Remus said without look back at him.

"None of the above," Lily said.  "Not because of me."

"She knows everything?" Remus asked James. 

"About you, yes.  Although she might have one or two questions that you can answer."

"Not here," Remus said as he glanced around the crowded common room.

"Not now," Sirius added as he stood up.  "Moony and I both need to finish our Potions assignment before tomorrow.  Thank you, Lily.  You really are wonderful."  He gave her a kiss on the cheek before crossing the room to whisper in Peter's ear.

"Thank you doesn't seem enough," Remus said very quietly, "but—thank you, Lily.  Really."  He too gave her a kiss and then met Sirius at the base of the dormitory stairs.

            Lily watched them go with a smile.  It seemed strange that such a little thing as her acceptance could matter so much to someone.  How anyone could hate Remus, she simply couldn't fathom.  He wasn't a monster.  He wasn't a dark creature.  He was just—Remus.  A student who loved Defense but hated Potions, who loved chocolate but hated Every Flavour Beans, who was kind and considerate but allowed his friends to get away with murder anyway.  He wasn't perfect, but wasn't a monster.  He was Remus, and she was glad to have him as a friend.  She looked over at Peter and saw that he was smiling at her.  "Thank you," he mouthed.  She looked back at James and found that he was smiling at her as well.

"I love you, you know," he said.

Author's Note:  Once again, I must apologize for keeping you waiting for this chapter.  I got caught up in writing two other stories.  "The Nicest Thing My Mother Ever Did for Me" is a prequel to this story, and "Getting Outed" is under my other pen name, mysid.  Both are complete, so if you decide to take a look, you won't have to fear my keeping you waiting with those as well.

--October 2003