Chapter 9- Finally... another surprise

(a couple of weeks later it's Sam and Diane's wedding day. They are being wed at Cheers, which is closed for the occasion. Diane waits patiently in Sam's office. Samantha waits with her because she's the flower girl. Out in the bar Sam waits by the justice of the peace that is marrying them. He looks amazingly handsome in his tux. The music starts to play and Samantha enters scattering flowers as she goes. She comes to a stop by Sam and it is time for Diane to enter. Fraiser, who has flown in from Seattle for the wedding is giving Diane away. They enter from Sam's office and walk the short distance to where Sam is standing. Fraiser kisses Diane lightly on the cheek and hands her over to Sam. A couple of minutes later the justice of the peace is ready to have them recite their vows but Diane interrupts him.)

Diane: Uh wait, we've (she glances at Sam) at least I've written my own vows.

Justice of the Peace: Well by all means go ahead.

Diane: Thank You (turns to Sam). Sam, from moment I cam in here 20 years ago (her voice trembles as she struggles to find the words she rehearsed so well just minutes before) and I saw you, I had this idiosyncratic feeling that we would somehow, someday end up together. At times I didn't think it was possible, (laughs) everyone in this bar can tell you about our bad times, and also our good. But here we are today, getting married, and I love you. If I may borrow a quote from the famous Greek poet- (everyone in the bar sighs and rolls their eyes)

Sam: Diane! c'mon will you?

Diane: Oh all right all right, now your turn Sam.

Sam: Okay. Diane you know I love you. I may not always know how or when to say it but I do. We've both waited so long for this moment and I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I have to be with one woman for the rest of my life, I want it to be you.

Diane: Oh Sam! (small silent tears slide down her cheeks. She put her arms around his neck and tries to kiss him)

JoP: Wait! Not just yet! I now pronounce you husband and wife, now you may kiss the bride.

(they kiss, a long and enchanting kiss. most of the people in the bar clap except for Carla who can be heard hitting the floor, gasping for breath.)

Diane: Oh Carla, give it up, it's too late! Sam we're married, we're finally married! I just wish Coach were here to see this.

Sam: Yeah me too honey. But right now I've got a surprise for you.

Diane: Oh Sam! What?

Sam: Well after we got engaged a couple weeks ago I wanted to get you a really great wedding present, well something we could both share. So I bought the house we were going to live in before you left.

Diane: (squeals with delight) Sam! That's the most considerate, thoughtful, romantic, totally unexpected thing you've ever done for me!

Sam: Well good I was hoping you'd see it that way because we're still putting that picture of the dogs playing pool above the fireplace.

Diane: Sam. Anyway I've got a surprise for you too!

Sam: (thinking of all the possible things that Diane might have gotten him he says this rather sarcastically) Oh goody! What is it?

Diane: Well you remember the night I pro- (glance nervously around) I mean you proposed to me? Well actually after you proposed to me?

Sam: (laughs) Yeah, what about it?

Diane: Well Sam, you're going to be a daddy...again! (Sam doesn't respond because he has just passed out and hit the ground hard. Several people rush to his side.)

Carla: Sammy! Sammy now you know how I feel!

Cliff: It's okay everyone! Stand back. You know it's a scientific fact that if someone is knocked out from startling news you should leave them be for exactly 23 and three quarters of a minute. When the regain consciousness they will have forgotten the whole incident.

Woody: Is that true Mr. Clavin?

Cliff: Sure it Woody.

Woody: Wow! Back in Hanover whenever somebody wanted something else to forget something they'd just take them out back with a pan and- ( he pauses thinking hard)

Norm: And what Woody?

Woody: I don't know Mr. Peterson I forgot (scratches his head and pours Norm another beer.)

Fraiser: (pushing his way through the crowd until he's at Sam's side.) No Woody that is not true. Now someone help me get him into his office, Woody can I have a cold glass of water please?

Woody: Sure thing Dr. Crane (hands the glass to Fraiser.)

(a couple of minutes later Sam lays on the couch in his office. Fraiser, Diane and Carla are by his side trying to revive him.)

Fraiser: This should wake him up (dumps the glass of water over Sam's face but nothing happens).

Carla: Let me try. (she leans over close to Sam and screams as loud as she can but still he remains unconscious)

Diane: Stand back. Watch out Carla, I'll get him up. (she kneels beside the couch and kisses Sam very passionately on the lips.He immediately starts to move but his eyes are still closed. His arms reach up around Diane in a tight embrace. Diane get slightly angry and pulls away.)

Diane: Oh Sam, good you're up let's talk.

Sam: (looks up at Diane. As he slowly sits up he suddenly grabs his forehead as if in pain) Oh I had the worst dream! You and I were married and you told me you were pregnant. Whoa that gave me a-

Diane: That wasn't a dream Sam, that happened just a couple of minutes ago. (Sam lays back down and closes his eyes.)

Fraiser: Sam sit up! Talk to your wife! You've got to face this problem head on!

Diane: Fraiser, I think we can handle this.

Fraiser: (looking both put-off and embarrassed at the same time) Yes- yes of course, come on Carla. (Carla reluctantly leaves but not without shooting a nasty look at Diane first)

Diane: Sam I'm sorry, that probably wasn't the best time to tell you my news.

Sam: No, no I suppose not.

Diane: now we really are married and I really am pregnant so we need to- (someone knocks at the door)

Sam: (angrily) Carla we are having a very important discussion here! I told you-

Samantha: (from behind the door) Daddy? Mom?

Diane: Oh you can come in sweetheart. (Samantha comes in looking worried)

Samantha: Are you okay?

Sam: Yeah I'm fine. Mommy was just telling my the- the news.

Samantha: So it's true, you are going to have a baby?

Diane: Yes.

Samantha: Yay!!! I was hoping someday I would have someone to play with. I was a little jealous of Sarah and Bailey.

Diane: Well I'm glad you feel that way (she kisses the top of her head) Now will you please go outside and wait with Dr. Crane while we finish talking and afterwards we can go and get some ice cream. Okay?

Samantha: Okay (she leaves and Sam and Diane turn towards each other)

Sam: I am happy. I wasn't sure this would ever happen. I mean us getting married.

Diane: I'm so glad Sam. I was afraid you wouldn't want to marry me. What is this our 100th try?

Sam: (laughs) Yeah just about. Anyway let's go and "break in" our new house. If you know what I mean.

Diane: Sam!

Sam: Ok, ok. Let's go home (they begin to walk out). But seriously I think we should start in the kitchen. (their voices fade away and can no longer be heard as they leave the office.)