"Nabiki, I need some help. How much will it cost?"
Nabiki looked at the person who was asking for her help and raised
an eyebrow. It wasn't that she was averse to helping but for some reason
having this person ask for help, and then ask how much it would cost was a
little worrisome. This had to be a matter so serious, that money would be
out of the question, even for her. "Just whatever it will cost me."
The person nodded. "I need to know something about Ranma, and I
cannot ask him directly, or know that I am looking into this."
Both of Nabiki's eyebrows raised at that. That it had something to
do with Ranma was expected, that she wanted this kept quiet was NOT in her
character. "It's extremely serious, isn't it? Is Ranma going to die or
something if we don't do something for him, if whatever it is, is not
correct?"
The woman before her sighed, and then sat on Nabiki's bed. "I'm
not sure. It could be serious, but asking Genma is out of the question
since he would lie to me, and to Ranma. I doubt Ranma even knows what is
wrong, which is another reason I don't want to talk with him about it."
"What exactly is wrong?" Nabiki inquired, not comfortable with
talking around issues when it came to business. While it was tradition,
anything that took more time made it difficult to plan and gather
information. "Do you think that something Genma has done
has...damaged...Ranma in some manner?"
"I'm not sure, it could be something that happened on the training
trip, or it could be his curse, or it may be the situation. Given what
I've seen, I'm afraid for him, and it may affect his happiness. I need you
to find out for sure."
"I'm sure it's not that bad, Aunt Nodoka. After all, Ranma has
faced everything everyone has been able to throw at him, and has always
come out on top."
Nodoka nodded, and then said, "That's why. He's almost perfect in
the Martial Arts, he keeps all of the ties of honour as best he can, and
does it in a fashion that no one can question, even though people accuse
him of things that he has not done, and are definitely not true. He has
proven himself a man, a leader, and a person who everyone admires, and
tries to emulate in some manner. However, something with this picture is
wrong. Very wrong."
Nabiki frowned, and then indicated for Nodoka to continue.
"I'm afraid that Ranma may have some problems with..."
Sexual Endeavours
Part One:
Beating Around the Bush...
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun,
Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo,
Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Si, Cologne, Ke Lun, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi,
Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2000 by Takahashi
Rumiko.
Publishing rights: Japan by Shogakukan Inc. Tokyo
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.
North America by Viz Inc.
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi
Ranma smiled to himself as he completed his latest technique.
After several weeks, he had finally perfected a move that everyone would
not expect from him. After all, he _never_ paid attention to Happousai
unless he did not have a choice. While Ranma would never use the more
perverted techniques, he didn't deny that the little...whatever...was a
master of the Art, and thus had something to teach, if you knew where to
look.
Besides, it allowed him to work out his frustrations.
During the past year, since he had been at the dojo, everyone he
had met seemed to think of him either as a prize to be won (or taken in
some cases), an heir to various schools he didn't want to be associated
with, or the person everyone and their semi-mystical pet needed to kill,
maim, or enslave in order to prove they were better.
If he hadn't been observing and learning from everything that
everyone had thrown at him, his stress level would be a lot higher than it
already was.
If only the various ties of honour weren't hanging over his head
like a blade. The promise of being a 'Man Among Men', being engaged to
both girls and boys thanks to his father and uncle, that he did not know
the laws of the Joketsuzoku and thus had Shampoo as a bridal candidate
with the assorted problems (namely Mousse and Cologne), a perverted
martial arts master who he was technically supposed to obey as the head of
the school, trying to keep up his grades in academics, and who knew what
else was still to come.
People either admired him or hated him because of it.
That's why he was glad that since his mother had arrived, he was
allowed to have a room of his own.
If _ANYONE_ learned his greatest secret then he would definitely
be dead. Well, perhaps not dead, but at least ridiculed, made fun of,
and, if Nabiki had her way, make his life a living hell.
Giving a sigh, he left the dojo and went to the bath. If he had
timed everything correctly, everyone he knew would be out.
And that meant that he could go and have some _real_ fun.
***
Nabiki walked around the shopping district, absently looking at
various stores. If what Aunt Nodoka suspected was correct, it would
explain a hell of a lot. To think that the person who personified the
absolute 'ultra-masculine' image could not even think of...
Well, it certainly boggled the mind.
Nabiki's problem was how to confirm this without it getting out
over the entire district. Hell, if just her father learned about this
possibility, he'd be crying so loud, everyone would hear him, and that
meant Shampoo, and Cologne, then Ukyou, not to mention the Kunos, or her
hot-headed little sister. *Actually, Akane-chan would be the worst one to
learn of it. She'd think it was some kind of plan to be perverted and
_wham_! Ranma will either be punched, kicked, or malleted.*
Well, perhaps a look at his medical records, and then comparing
those with some of the books in the medical library might work. Then
again, the doctors would probably have noticed something physically wrong
since he did have to go through two cat scans previously. "Damn it, Ranma,
why can't anything be simple around you!" Nabiki muttered below her
breath, "All this trouble with your 'fiances' and it could be because of
some condition that you may not even know about."
Turning around, she headed for Dr. Tofu's, not noticing the small,
white cat that just happened to be below a fruit display.
Waiting until Nabiki was well away, the cat thought about what she
just heard. Something was wrong, and it was the cause of Ranma not
choosing her. She _knew_ it had to be something else, after all, who
could resist her charms, and Shan Pu had a lot of 'charm'. It was hard to
imagine however, Ranma was _PERFECT_! There couldn't be something
physically wrong with him. Padding slowly away, Shan Pu thought of those
perfect pectorals, the firm abdomen, the way...
She shook her head, and then started to run as fast as she could
to the Nekohanten. If there was anything wrong Great-grandmother would
know what to do. She always knew what to do, and then, perhaps, she would
be willing to help her once again to bring her husband home, or at least
get him to acknowledged the marriage.
Shan Pu didn't care if she lived away from the village for the
rest of her life, as long as she had Ranma, children, and, of course, the
wedding night which she fantasized about constantly.
Besides, she was sure it was Panda-man's fault. The man just lived
to create trouble, especially for her husband. If anything was wrong, it
had to be a curse of some kind, just like the curse of Jusenkyu. As soon
as Ranma acknowledge who Shan was, she was going to make sure that
Panda-man was sent to a breeding farm.
***
Ryouga, of course, was trying to find Akari's farm. He was sure
that it was somewhere around here. He knew it had to be around somewhere
since he passed these apartment buildings the last time he went to see
her. Looking at his new piece of survival gear, a handheld GPS mechanism,
which had been a gift from Ranma after the failed wedding, he changed
directions to follow the pointing mechanism. No word had been said about
why Ranma had gotten it, and Ryouga, in a rare mood, being sorry that he
messed up his friend's marriage opportunity for no good reason, decided
not to say a word himself. They both passed it off as something that would
be handier to have than a compass, especially in wooded areas.
In all fairness to the poor lost boy, this time it really wasn't
his fault. He was paying attention to the device, and it was supposedly
showing the way to get to Akari's farm. There was, however, a slight
hairline crack in the surface that wouldn't be noticeable, even under
close inspection, and that had let water into the unit, shorting out a few
of the circuits. Ironically, it was showing the way to a home he had
always been trying to find over the past year, the Tendo Dojo when he
wanted to go somewhere else.
***
character one frowned at the girl in the alley across the street
from her. She still couldn't believe it, even though she had seen the
transformation herself. "That little tramp!" character one fumed, "She's
been pretending to be a boy all this time! When I get my hands on her..."
She growled as the girl in the strange costume literally leapt to
the top of a five-story apartment complex. To imagine that her supposed
boyfriend was in reality a 'magical girl' was more than irritating.
character one was going to have some revenge, but the question was how.
character two a who was now revealed as character two b, the
person who had saved Nerima many times over the last year from various
threats, ranging from criminals to mystical people, was unbearably
beautiful. For that reason alone, character two a should be shown why
you never play with a girl's heart. Unfortunately, no matter the revenge
she wanted, character one could not risk harming her 'boyfriend', not
unless she wanted to take out the only person who could face all of these
mysterious threats. If they were actually threats and not just a publicity
stunt.
She had to plan carefully, find her weakness, at least
emotionally, and then attack her in that manner. It would be a perfect
revenge, and make sure that...that...girl was at least physically fine.
character one snorted, in a way character two b had the perfect cover.
No one would believe that a handsome, and absolutely perfect specimen of a
man would also be such a cute, beautiful, and sexy girl.
"You know," character one mumbled to herself, her hand clenching
unconsciously, "If I was in a manga or anime, all I would have to do is
grab a hammer and pound the jerk over the head. Too bad that's all
fantasy, the idea has a lot of appeal."
***
"Hey, Ranma!" a person said as she came into the computer lab,
"Finish your assignment for creative writing yet?"
Ranma kept his hand on his chest where he had clutched it. It was
hard enough finding the time to do his extra work, and also fortunate that
the juku he was in knew of his unusual situation, but he was always afraid
that this would get back to everyone he knew. How would they react to the
fact that the 'super dumb jock' was in reality a closet computer fanatic?
He didn't even want to try and find out, knowing that the girls would
probably all rush to the class, and his rivals would destroy everything he
was trying to do. One reason that he had chosen a juku that was as far
away from home as possible.
"Fine so far. Don't scare me like that!" Ranma replied, his voice
showing his annoyance.
"Yeah, right. The great writer and programmer gets so scared.
Admit it, you just got caught up in your machine again."
Ranma snorted right back, "So? Computers are a great way of
finding information, and they pay a hell of a lot better than being a
writer or artist. Hell, those people working for Square get money hand
over fist!"
His companion, a girl in a school uniform, short hair, and glasses
looked at him in askance, "Is money all you can think about?"
Ranma smirked back at the old argument, "Nah...There's also food,
sleep, hardware, programming, and RPG's."
Sakura rolled her eyes, "You know, despite your build and the way
I've seen you act sometimes, you're a real geek."
"Thanks for the compliment."
Growling under her breath, she peeked over Ranma's shoulder.
"What's with this 'character one' bit? Can't you even think of some
names?
"Nah, it's so people can insert names of their own. I figure if
the story is good enough, I can make it into the base of our RPG project.
Think of it, an RPG that you don't only have a base story, but animation
that sets out entire scenes, like a movie! It's the easiest way to have
things work out. Not only that, but we can also build on it, and create
several different scenarios based upon what's already happened. That way
we can recycle a number of the animation scenes with only slight
variations."
"Computers don't have that sort of video capacity."
"Ah...who cares about that right now. I figure that if it's
encoded right, we can fit the whole thing into about 8 Megs of data, and
only 300 Kb of program." Ranma replied.
Sakura looked at him carefully, "Ranma, the only way you could do
that is to write directly to machine language."
"Of course! That's what makes this format so beautiful!"
Sakura groaned. What would it take to get this geek away from
that damn machine and get him to notice her! He wasn't a dumb jock, and
the fact that he was a very smart, and somewhat idealistic and naive guy
should have left him open to the slight suggestions she was making.
"Ranma...Oh never mind, just go back to what you were doing."
He shrugged slightly, and then got back to writing. Everyone here
would likely know the source from which he was creating his stories for
the project, but what the hell. Besides, it was fun, and he could make
situations happen in the stories that would never happen in real life. A
glint came into his eyes as he thought of something. Perhaps a few hidden
codes in the story. When he compiled it, only the most fanatical of
players would discover them, and then he could add a second hidden story
to the game. Maybe a sex story; they always seemed to make money, or at
least fans.
***
Tofu-sensei's eyebrow raised as he looked at Nabiki. "Why would
you need to have copies of all of Ranma and Akane's medical records?"
Nabiki sighed. "Ranma would have been married to Akane, if the
wedding wasn't ruined by the various guest who showed up. While it is a
matter of family honour, I've got to give the traditional proof of both
families to idiots like Kuno-chan before we can try again. Kuno-chan
would love to prove that Ranma was some type of undesirable, either from
family history, or some sort of medical problem which may be genetic."
"I heard rumours about his stability, but is he really that much
of a fanatic?" Tofu asked quietly, "If he is, perhaps I could help by
having a group 'talk' to him for the sake of the community."
Nabiki grimaced. "It's already been tried with Kuno's father, who
happens to be the headmaster of Furinkan. Unfortunately he is too well
connected to do anything. Why else would the various teachers have been
willing to be humiliated by him, or the fact that all of his programs are
overlooked by the education ministry? The man is an idiot, crazed, and a
threat to the students, but he is allowed to be free."
Tofu frowned. "How bad is he of a threat to the students? Is it
only physically, or are there more serious issues to be concerned about?"
"The school will be fortunate to have one person advance to a
proper level given what has happened."
Tofu sat up suddenly. If what Nabiki was implying was correct, it
was extremely serious. How powerful was the Kuno clan? "Nabiki, tell me
without wavering. Is there a threat to the students proceeding towards
dishonour?"
Nabiki nodded. "Jukus are practically forbidden by the headmaster
unless it has to do with studying about Hawaii. I doubt that many will
pass the Juken, and even then, it will have to be overseas training."
Tofu nodded, and started to gather Ranma and Akane's files,
medical records, and personal information. "It will take me a little
while to write up a letter for each of these files, and I now understand
the urgency. I would like you to describe your impressions of the
headmaster, for the records. I will, of course, keep your name out of
this, and have an observation group enter the school. There are several
Ministries which will be interested in this information, and that have
more...influence, than the Ministry of Education."
Nabiki nodded. Trading information was good, and perhaps
something could be done about the head nut. Perhaps a pool on how long
before Headmaster Kuno was removed, or the date when he was to be removed
would be appropriate. It wouldn't hurt to make _some_ money on this deal.
***
Laughing maniacally, Ranma prepared his move, knowing that he
would be successful, and that his foe would be defeated, if not dead, for
daring to try and go after him.
"Saotome, just roll the damn dice. Whenever you laugh like that
it sends chills down my spine."
"Ah, you're just jealous that I can pull it off. Besides, my
character is supposed to be half crazy because of that mind control
attempt a while back, and you're the one who designed the spell that did
it."
"Hey, how was I supposed to know it'd backfire like that?" Ryu
grumbled. "Just because you failed your saving throw is no reason to take
it out on us."
Ranma replied by dumping a glass of water on his head, "Well, I
_do_ happen to have some experience with real curses and magic you know."
Ryu grumbled while the others laughed.
Hikaru, the gamemaster, then pointed at Ryu, and then at Ranma,
and everyone broke out laughing even harder. It got even worse when Ranma
put her hands under her chin and fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly. He
then said, "You're the only one I know of Ranma, that can make
role-playing something else."
Ranma grinned, "Yeah, I know, and I'm great at it. Now about the
spell point system that we're using, it seems a bit limited since we are
basing it upon a person's knowledge, constitution, and stamina. I know it
doesn't work that way in real life, heck, martial arts doesn't work that
way in real life, at least not at the higher levels."
Ryu nodded, "Yeah, and if anyone should know, it's Saotome. His
life is filled with all sorts of strange things happening."
"Problem is, it would be hard to fit into the current game
system." Sakura mused from where she was sitting. "We'd have to tear it
apart and revise the damn thing, not to mention making new spells to take
everything into account."
"It's better that we do it now than later," commented Kenchiro as
he looked over the printouts he had. "The only way to confirm the system
that we are going to code is to test it out, and that means changing
things before we go any further and creating internal blind spots."
Everyone groaned, and Ranma sighed. Just when she was about to
take out the sorcerer who had created those pools of sorrow...
***
Cologne frowned as she went into her sanctum. It was hard to
imagine that anything would be wrong with Ranma, but the possibility could
not be denied. Physical problems were laughable, especially at the rate
Ranma learned techniques, or how he could hide the amount he was holding
back against all of his opponents. He even managed to hide his true power
from her!
To Cologne, the real question was what could be wrong in Ranma's
upbringing by his cowardly father.
Cologne had given up on getting Ranma for her tribe quite a while
ago. He was stubborn, egotistical, did not want to be held down, and had a
lot of problems with honour thanks to that no good father. As far as she
was concerned, Genma was thinking with only one thing, his stomach. Why
else would he make a deal with Ukyou's father for just a yatai, or teach
his son that eating and martial arts were the be all and end all of life?
That attitude was probably what was wrong with Ranma.
Then again, her granddaughter was not making things any easier.
The foolish girl was scheming, underhanded, and obviously not
thinking of the future as she kept thinking that her own culture was the
only one that mattered. The worst, absolute worst, deed she had done was
to try and break up the marriage between Ranma and Akane, not realizing
that in this country they could already be married, the couple just had
not completed the public ceremonies. After almost a year in this country,
Shampoo kept showing her ignorance and unwillingness to learn.
Admittedly, she had originally come to this country with Shampoo,
thinking that Ranma just needed a little bit of encouragement, and that he
would recognize the laws that he had inadvertently crossed. Cologne was
not against plotting, or doing something that could lead to more for
Shampoo, but she had at least made an effort to learn the laws and culture
that she was living in. She had also believed that the boy had been told
of the laws both times, when he had been confronted by Shampoo in the
village, and then later when he had 'defeated' Shampoo as a male.
It was Shampoo's failure to tell the girl of the law, or even
confirming the consequences when confronting Ranma the first time that led
to her being retrained at Jusenkyo. It was only when she came back to
China had it been learned that the girl only battled the winner of the
tournament thinking that it was a battle over food, which it should have
been. To have later learned that Shampoo had lied about how Ranma had won
the match in male form, and to have not explained the circumstances first,
which would have required Ranma to make a formal challenge, was worse.
If this was learned about back in the village, Shampoo would be locked in
her cursed form.
No, it would do no good to take Ranma back to China, which is why
she did not interfere with the boy coming back to Japan when she had ample
opportunity to keep him in the country, and in the village.
Besides, even if the law had been followed properly, Ranma would
be the worst possible person to have in the village, especially since
trouble followed him like a magnet. Pantyhose Taro who would constantly
challenge him in some deluded belief that this would get Happousai to
change his name, ghosts coming around to disturb the boy, and strange
challenges that no seemingly rational person would accept. To top it off,
the Japanese seemed to take all of this in stride as normal!
Why else would they not complain to the authorities about that
Kuno family, with the boy making ludicrous statements that no one actually
believed, the daughter using dangerous items that could cause innocents to
die, and the father who wanted to torment everyone with a very bad
haircut. Or worse yet, allow Happousai to live for the most part
peacefully even though everyone, even the government, knew where he lived.
No, despite what her daughter, granddaughters, and
great-granddaughters, as well as others in the village thought, the
Japanese were not backwards people with no respect for others. The
warriors in this small section of Japan, a small, virtually unnoticeable
and unremarkable district of Tokyo were extremely strong, with many being
able to defeat the entire village without having to resort to special
techniques that were within their own culture. Thankfully her
great-granddaughter had never run into that 'Nuku-Nuku' girl from Akie's
because Cologne had seen the girl take on an attack helicopter and win.
Cologne doubted her own chances at surviving at a distance.
The manga and anime that the Japanese created were mild in
comparison to what went on in the district every day.
If they brought Ranma to the village by force, or even made him
angry in any small way, the Joketsuzoku would cease to exist. He would
have to be kept either drugged and helpless, or given control of the
village, which would be unthinkable by the hidebound council. Anyone who
believed that Ranma, the person who killed Saffron, would be happy in a
small village with very few modern conveniences was crazy. To that end,
Cologne was more concerned with making friendly contacts, teaching Ranma
and any of his friends whenever they wanted to learn, and try to
understand the Japanese people and why they thought the unusual normal.
As for Ranma, the boy was annoying at times, but he was brilliant,
if anyone actually took the time to see what he was doing. No, if there
was a problem with Ranma, then it would have to be in his upbringing, and
the fact that his father treated women as objects and not people. Given
this, and how shy, and scared of contact with girls who were overly
affectionate, despite his curse, he would not accept being trapped in that
manner. Admittedly, he had reason to be that way, given how every girl he
met seemed to want to throw herself at him. She was quite sure that if
the current four girls were not martial artists, he would have more after
him.
No, for the sake of peace, she would have to take a hand in this,
although not in the way Shampoo would like. She would need to find some
way to create a public marriage ceremony for the boy, and from the looks
of it, it would have to be with Akane. There was no way she would come
between Ranma and that girl!
Besides, it would also allow her to remain in Japan, and she did
like all of the amenities, especially videogames.
With that thought, Cologne unlocked her private cabinet, turned on
the television, and selected her favourite game. An RPG featuring three
young girls who happened to be the saviours of another, magical, planet...
***
Sakura grinned suddenly. The perfect way to get Ranma to notice
her had just popped into her head! If she used a variation LHA compression
format series and applied that to the text of the RPG they were working
on, they could get the whole thing under 2 Megs, and it would only add
about 40 Kb to the size of the main program, 64 if she was designing it to
perform on the fly decoding with the help of a mini-database. This was a
way to show the most egotistical programmer of their juku that he wasn't
the best.
Misa rolled her eyes as she saw Sakura's expression. "Only one
thing could cause that. You've thought of a way to best Saotome."
Sakura nodded in excitement as she sipped her drink. "Yep! It's
the perfect way to show 'his arrogance' that he's not the only programmer
around!"
"You sure that it isn't just another way to get him to go out with
you?"
Sakura started to cough as a bit of her drink went down the wrong
way. "Me?!? After that arrogant bastard? You've got to be kidding."
Misa shook her head, "Ranma is a bit rough around the edges, but
he's always a perfect gentleman. And you know how many girls are already
after him, and they have no idea of what he can really do. How many more
girls do you think would be after him if they knew his real skills?"
"A lot..." Sakura sighed. Misa was correct about her reasons for
trying to better Ranma. "Look, he respects people who do their best, no
matter what. He wants someone who can think, or act, or do something that
is their best, and will always try to better themselves. It's the reason
he keeps with that Tendo Akane, despite how she treats him. All I'm doing
is giving him a reason to look elsewhere, not trying to force him to look
at me."
"That is not how you grab a man you know."
"So? It's the best way to work with him. There are already too
many 'enthusiastic' girls after him and trying to force him to lose his
virginity. How would you like it if boys were trying to force you to lose
your virginity?"
"Show me where those boys are so I can!"
"MISA!!!!"
***
The Next Day...
Ranma sighed happily on the way to school. Everything seemed
right, and with the day being so peaceful, he could concentrate on a few
more things, although he still had to be careful of Shampoo. Then again,
his luck would never hold that long.
Of course, what Ranma considered peaceful would be what others
considered violent.
The day started off well, with his father, for once, asking to
spar instead of tossing him out the window. He managed not to get dunked
in the pond, but also refused to do the same to his father, and with his
mother's presence, especially her looking directly at his father several
times, Ranma did not have to protect his food. Ranma and Akane were
getting along, at least no words of war had been exchanged as of yet, and
even Nabiki was being nice. Of course, it could have something to do with
his mother wanting to go out somewhere with him this evening, but it
seemed Ranma spent very little time with his mother.
Amazingly enough, he made it to school without Shampoo being along
the way, no Ukyou, and even more amazingly, no Kuno at the gates. Ranma
blinked, grabbed his arm, pinched to make sure, and blinked again.
Despite that test, he felt as though he was dreaming. No way could the
day be going that well. In fact, there was no way that anyone could have
as good a day as he'd been having.
Ranma frowned suddenly. *It can't last. Nabiki being nice, the
day going well, and not a single argument with Akane. I better be extra
careful today, since it could be more dangerous than ever.*
His eyes boggled when Akane grabbed his hand and pulled him gently
towards class, and there wasn't an explosion. Ranma then noticed NABIKI
smiling and nodding in satisfaction. He looked around franticly, and saw
everyone with smiles on their faces, not paying attention to what was
happening, and not even noticing how close Akane was to him. It was
wrong! Unnatural! It couldn't be happening! He had to be asleep!
*Yes! Asleep! That had to be it! No way could any of this
happen without a lot of people staring, or looking on, or making a bet, or
anything. And I _know_ it has to be a dream since Nabiki is smiling at
Akane holding my hand without trying to make some sort of money off of it.
Well, since this is a dream, might as well enjoy it.* Ranma thought to
himself, not realizing the problems that his actions were about to
cause...
***
English Class:
"Ranma, would you please read article twenty-seven and give us
your interpretation of the described events, and what this means for the
general populace of Japan. Also, I want you to write the definition of
word twelve in paragraph three on the board for the class." Hinako-Sensei
said as she prepared herself for another bad reading. The boy was one of
the worst at English that she knew of, and could barely get the shapes of
Romanji correct a lot of the time, so she didn't expect much. Still,
foreign language studies were required, and she somehow had to drill it
into his head in the next two years.
Ranma looked at the word first, before he started to read, and
came up to the board. Fortunately, it was a word that he was familiar
with, especially since the definitions were a bit unusual; he'd had to
look it up before. That he had to get such an easy word to write the
definition to in his first class of the day was proof that it was a dream.
No matter what happened for the rest of the day, he'd take it in stride.
*Might as well have fun with this, especially since I would never be able
to get away with it in real life without a protest!*
Variable: Anything which may change and thus change the outcome of a
given circumstance. In context, a named container that can hold a value
consisting of a character string of any length. The variable can be
created by applying a name and placing the value within with a put, place,
or input command.
Hinako-Sensei boggled at the fact that Ranma had written, and
expanded upon, an English definition without looking at a dictionary,
book, or reference guide, and the fact that the Definition was written in
Romanji, and in ENGLISH! She almost fainted, but kept pinching herself
behind her back as Ranma then turned around, and started to read the
article, without problems, and like an American. This was a dream. It
had to be a dream. Nothing else made sense.
Math Class
The Sensei was amazed, confused, and absolutely happy!
Ranma, the worst student in the class, was answering every
question correctly! He had even gone through several quadratics without a
problem!
"Saotome-kun, I would like you to come up to the board and
demonstrate the solution to the equation that I have placed there."
As Ranma stepped up to the board, and went into the mathematical
proof that showed how one was equal with negative one, he smiled wider.
The proof required knowledge of calculus, topology, and dimensional
variance. Since Ranma could do this, then he was a genius, and since he
had not demonstrated such abilities before, it had to be thanks to His,
Aida-Sensei's, teachings.
He cried tears of joy as he stated, "Absolutely correct,
Saotome-san!"
Sociology Class:
"...given the upheaval caused by modern society, and how our
people have reacted at times, Japan seems to have a tendency to acquire
mannerisms slowly, as is evidenced by the strength of 'Rock and Roll' from
the American and British mid 50's to mid 60's era as opposed to the modern
'Punk Rock' currently the issue in North America. This is not to say that
the trend is not followed, however, as there must be some manner of
adaptation, as our society would easily stagnate.
"Examples of this adaptation are plentiful when we compare it to
American culture, especially since we have been brought up in a manner
conversant with conservation of resources. Our society recycles and
reprocesses every little bit that we can due to our limited resources as
compared to the small recycling effort of the Americans with their
plentiful resources. We adapted to an area of the globe with few
resources by learning how to recycle. Now, how does this apply to the
social context of society and business and the relationship of a
recognized 'Feudal' society as represented by Japan versus a 'Democratic
Republic' such as the United States?
"The answer is quite simple, as our culture has already adapted
the 'Feudal' model of society as a semi-rigid structure and cross-pasted
democratic processes, already in place in the lower levels of society, as
a means of satisfying the American military and cultural forces who wished
to cause an upheaval similar to, and with the same intent, that the
cultural upheaval by the European Christian elements caused in Native
North American Society. Further, by having the model applied to business,
especially with a military approach to the subject, as Sun Tzu is still
required reading to everyone involved in Japan's economic prosperity, this
has allowed us to prevent Americans from 'culling' our society as was
attempted by the French to the Vietnamese people prior to World War II..."
The class was amazed as Saotome went on, but no one wanted to
interrupt him. Ranma usually slept in class, never said a word, barely
passed his courses, and reacted to everything with a physical reaction
rather than an intelligent one. A few of the braver ones in back of Ranma
were staring at him, then Akane who had been surprisingly silent, and then
back at Ranma.
Ranma, being this knowledgeable and intelligent?
It was either a dream or the world was coming to an end.
Computer Class:
The teacher was amazed at the speed with which Ranma typed, and
the fact that he had finished his assignment in five minutes after the
class started, when he was sure that Ranma could hardly turn on the
machine without an accident was nothing short of amazing! Surreptiously,
he started to check the network to see if something happened. He would
not be surprised if something like that American movie happened to Ranma.
Given the strangeness, it would be just like the boy to be able to absorb
the entire knowledge and the database of a mainframe through an electrical
accident. If not here, then somewhere. It was the only possible
explanation for the boy being THIS good.
***
Ranma sighed happily. It was a good dream so far. Nice and
peaceful, no one bugging him with unwanted questions, and not being
splashed with cold water at the most unexpected times. Ukyou was friendly
without mentioning the engagement, Kuno was nowhere to be seen, Akane was
friendly and did not try to feed him, and now it was time to go home and
spend some time with his mom. How could things get any better?
To Be Continued...
Nabiki looked at the person who was asking for her help and raised
an eyebrow. It wasn't that she was averse to helping but for some reason
having this person ask for help, and then ask how much it would cost was a
little worrisome. This had to be a matter so serious, that money would be
out of the question, even for her. "Just whatever it will cost me."
The person nodded. "I need to know something about Ranma, and I
cannot ask him directly, or know that I am looking into this."
Both of Nabiki's eyebrows raised at that. That it had something to
do with Ranma was expected, that she wanted this kept quiet was NOT in her
character. "It's extremely serious, isn't it? Is Ranma going to die or
something if we don't do something for him, if whatever it is, is not
correct?"
The woman before her sighed, and then sat on Nabiki's bed. "I'm
not sure. It could be serious, but asking Genma is out of the question
since he would lie to me, and to Ranma. I doubt Ranma even knows what is
wrong, which is another reason I don't want to talk with him about it."
"What exactly is wrong?" Nabiki inquired, not comfortable with
talking around issues when it came to business. While it was tradition,
anything that took more time made it difficult to plan and gather
information. "Do you think that something Genma has done
has...damaged...Ranma in some manner?"
"I'm not sure, it could be something that happened on the training
trip, or it could be his curse, or it may be the situation. Given what
I've seen, I'm afraid for him, and it may affect his happiness. I need you
to find out for sure."
"I'm sure it's not that bad, Aunt Nodoka. After all, Ranma has
faced everything everyone has been able to throw at him, and has always
come out on top."
Nodoka nodded, and then said, "That's why. He's almost perfect in
the Martial Arts, he keeps all of the ties of honour as best he can, and
does it in a fashion that no one can question, even though people accuse
him of things that he has not done, and are definitely not true. He has
proven himself a man, a leader, and a person who everyone admires, and
tries to emulate in some manner. However, something with this picture is
wrong. Very wrong."
Nabiki frowned, and then indicated for Nodoka to continue.
"I'm afraid that Ranma may have some problems with..."
Sexual Endeavours
Part One:
Beating Around the Bush...
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun,
Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo,
Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Si, Cologne, Ke Lun, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi,
Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2000 by Takahashi
Rumiko.
Publishing rights: Japan by Shogakukan Inc. Tokyo
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.
North America by Viz Inc.
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi
Ranma smiled to himself as he completed his latest technique.
After several weeks, he had finally perfected a move that everyone would
not expect from him. After all, he _never_ paid attention to Happousai
unless he did not have a choice. While Ranma would never use the more
perverted techniques, he didn't deny that the little...whatever...was a
master of the Art, and thus had something to teach, if you knew where to
look.
Besides, it allowed him to work out his frustrations.
During the past year, since he had been at the dojo, everyone he
had met seemed to think of him either as a prize to be won (or taken in
some cases), an heir to various schools he didn't want to be associated
with, or the person everyone and their semi-mystical pet needed to kill,
maim, or enslave in order to prove they were better.
If he hadn't been observing and learning from everything that
everyone had thrown at him, his stress level would be a lot higher than it
already was.
If only the various ties of honour weren't hanging over his head
like a blade. The promise of being a 'Man Among Men', being engaged to
both girls and boys thanks to his father and uncle, that he did not know
the laws of the Joketsuzoku and thus had Shampoo as a bridal candidate
with the assorted problems (namely Mousse and Cologne), a perverted
martial arts master who he was technically supposed to obey as the head of
the school, trying to keep up his grades in academics, and who knew what
else was still to come.
People either admired him or hated him because of it.
That's why he was glad that since his mother had arrived, he was
allowed to have a room of his own.
If _ANYONE_ learned his greatest secret then he would definitely
be dead. Well, perhaps not dead, but at least ridiculed, made fun of,
and, if Nabiki had her way, make his life a living hell.
Giving a sigh, he left the dojo and went to the bath. If he had
timed everything correctly, everyone he knew would be out.
And that meant that he could go and have some _real_ fun.
***
Nabiki walked around the shopping district, absently looking at
various stores. If what Aunt Nodoka suspected was correct, it would
explain a hell of a lot. To think that the person who personified the
absolute 'ultra-masculine' image could not even think of...
Well, it certainly boggled the mind.
Nabiki's problem was how to confirm this without it getting out
over the entire district. Hell, if just her father learned about this
possibility, he'd be crying so loud, everyone would hear him, and that
meant Shampoo, and Cologne, then Ukyou, not to mention the Kunos, or her
hot-headed little sister. *Actually, Akane-chan would be the worst one to
learn of it. She'd think it was some kind of plan to be perverted and
_wham_! Ranma will either be punched, kicked, or malleted.*
Well, perhaps a look at his medical records, and then comparing
those with some of the books in the medical library might work. Then
again, the doctors would probably have noticed something physically wrong
since he did have to go through two cat scans previously. "Damn it, Ranma,
why can't anything be simple around you!" Nabiki muttered below her
breath, "All this trouble with your 'fiances' and it could be because of
some condition that you may not even know about."
Turning around, she headed for Dr. Tofu's, not noticing the small,
white cat that just happened to be below a fruit display.
Waiting until Nabiki was well away, the cat thought about what she
just heard. Something was wrong, and it was the cause of Ranma not
choosing her. She _knew_ it had to be something else, after all, who
could resist her charms, and Shan Pu had a lot of 'charm'. It was hard to
imagine however, Ranma was _PERFECT_! There couldn't be something
physically wrong with him. Padding slowly away, Shan Pu thought of those
perfect pectorals, the firm abdomen, the way...
She shook her head, and then started to run as fast as she could
to the Nekohanten. If there was anything wrong Great-grandmother would
know what to do. She always knew what to do, and then, perhaps, she would
be willing to help her once again to bring her husband home, or at least
get him to acknowledged the marriage.
Shan Pu didn't care if she lived away from the village for the
rest of her life, as long as she had Ranma, children, and, of course, the
wedding night which she fantasized about constantly.
Besides, she was sure it was Panda-man's fault. The man just lived
to create trouble, especially for her husband. If anything was wrong, it
had to be a curse of some kind, just like the curse of Jusenkyu. As soon
as Ranma acknowledge who Shan was, she was going to make sure that
Panda-man was sent to a breeding farm.
***
Ryouga, of course, was trying to find Akari's farm. He was sure
that it was somewhere around here. He knew it had to be around somewhere
since he passed these apartment buildings the last time he went to see
her. Looking at his new piece of survival gear, a handheld GPS mechanism,
which had been a gift from Ranma after the failed wedding, he changed
directions to follow the pointing mechanism. No word had been said about
why Ranma had gotten it, and Ryouga, in a rare mood, being sorry that he
messed up his friend's marriage opportunity for no good reason, decided
not to say a word himself. They both passed it off as something that would
be handier to have than a compass, especially in wooded areas.
In all fairness to the poor lost boy, this time it really wasn't
his fault. He was paying attention to the device, and it was supposedly
showing the way to get to Akari's farm. There was, however, a slight
hairline crack in the surface that wouldn't be noticeable, even under
close inspection, and that had let water into the unit, shorting out a few
of the circuits. Ironically, it was showing the way to a home he had
always been trying to find over the past year, the Tendo Dojo when he
wanted to go somewhere else.
***
character one frowned at the girl in the alley across the street
from her. She still couldn't believe it, even though she had seen the
transformation herself. "That little tramp!" character one fumed, "She's
been pretending to be a boy all this time! When I get my hands on her..."
She growled as the girl in the strange costume literally leapt to
the top of a five-story apartment complex. To imagine that her supposed
boyfriend was in reality a 'magical girl' was more than irritating.
character one was going to have some revenge, but the question was how.
character two a who was now revealed as character two b, the
person who had saved Nerima many times over the last year from various
threats, ranging from criminals to mystical people, was unbearably
beautiful. For that reason alone, character two a should be shown why
you never play with a girl's heart. Unfortunately, no matter the revenge
she wanted, character one could not risk harming her 'boyfriend', not
unless she wanted to take out the only person who could face all of these
mysterious threats. If they were actually threats and not just a publicity
stunt.
She had to plan carefully, find her weakness, at least
emotionally, and then attack her in that manner. It would be a perfect
revenge, and make sure that...that...girl was at least physically fine.
character one snorted, in a way character two b had the perfect cover.
No one would believe that a handsome, and absolutely perfect specimen of a
man would also be such a cute, beautiful, and sexy girl.
"You know," character one mumbled to herself, her hand clenching
unconsciously, "If I was in a manga or anime, all I would have to do is
grab a hammer and pound the jerk over the head. Too bad that's all
fantasy, the idea has a lot of appeal."
***
"Hey, Ranma!" a person said as she came into the computer lab,
"Finish your assignment for creative writing yet?"
Ranma kept his hand on his chest where he had clutched it. It was
hard enough finding the time to do his extra work, and also fortunate that
the juku he was in knew of his unusual situation, but he was always afraid
that this would get back to everyone he knew. How would they react to the
fact that the 'super dumb jock' was in reality a closet computer fanatic?
He didn't even want to try and find out, knowing that the girls would
probably all rush to the class, and his rivals would destroy everything he
was trying to do. One reason that he had chosen a juku that was as far
away from home as possible.
"Fine so far. Don't scare me like that!" Ranma replied, his voice
showing his annoyance.
"Yeah, right. The great writer and programmer gets so scared.
Admit it, you just got caught up in your machine again."
Ranma snorted right back, "So? Computers are a great way of
finding information, and they pay a hell of a lot better than being a
writer or artist. Hell, those people working for Square get money hand
over fist!"
His companion, a girl in a school uniform, short hair, and glasses
looked at him in askance, "Is money all you can think about?"
Ranma smirked back at the old argument, "Nah...There's also food,
sleep, hardware, programming, and RPG's."
Sakura rolled her eyes, "You know, despite your build and the way
I've seen you act sometimes, you're a real geek."
"Thanks for the compliment."
Growling under her breath, she peeked over Ranma's shoulder.
"What's with this 'character one' bit? Can't you even think of some
names?
"Nah, it's so people can insert names of their own. I figure if
the story is good enough, I can make it into the base of our RPG project.
Think of it, an RPG that you don't only have a base story, but animation
that sets out entire scenes, like a movie! It's the easiest way to have
things work out. Not only that, but we can also build on it, and create
several different scenarios based upon what's already happened. That way
we can recycle a number of the animation scenes with only slight
variations."
"Computers don't have that sort of video capacity."
"Ah...who cares about that right now. I figure that if it's
encoded right, we can fit the whole thing into about 8 Megs of data, and
only 300 Kb of program." Ranma replied.
Sakura looked at him carefully, "Ranma, the only way you could do
that is to write directly to machine language."
"Of course! That's what makes this format so beautiful!"
Sakura groaned. What would it take to get this geek away from
that damn machine and get him to notice her! He wasn't a dumb jock, and
the fact that he was a very smart, and somewhat idealistic and naive guy
should have left him open to the slight suggestions she was making.
"Ranma...Oh never mind, just go back to what you were doing."
He shrugged slightly, and then got back to writing. Everyone here
would likely know the source from which he was creating his stories for
the project, but what the hell. Besides, it was fun, and he could make
situations happen in the stories that would never happen in real life. A
glint came into his eyes as he thought of something. Perhaps a few hidden
codes in the story. When he compiled it, only the most fanatical of
players would discover them, and then he could add a second hidden story
to the game. Maybe a sex story; they always seemed to make money, or at
least fans.
***
Tofu-sensei's eyebrow raised as he looked at Nabiki. "Why would
you need to have copies of all of Ranma and Akane's medical records?"
Nabiki sighed. "Ranma would have been married to Akane, if the
wedding wasn't ruined by the various guest who showed up. While it is a
matter of family honour, I've got to give the traditional proof of both
families to idiots like Kuno-chan before we can try again. Kuno-chan
would love to prove that Ranma was some type of undesirable, either from
family history, or some sort of medical problem which may be genetic."
"I heard rumours about his stability, but is he really that much
of a fanatic?" Tofu asked quietly, "If he is, perhaps I could help by
having a group 'talk' to him for the sake of the community."
Nabiki grimaced. "It's already been tried with Kuno's father, who
happens to be the headmaster of Furinkan. Unfortunately he is too well
connected to do anything. Why else would the various teachers have been
willing to be humiliated by him, or the fact that all of his programs are
overlooked by the education ministry? The man is an idiot, crazed, and a
threat to the students, but he is allowed to be free."
Tofu frowned. "How bad is he of a threat to the students? Is it
only physically, or are there more serious issues to be concerned about?"
"The school will be fortunate to have one person advance to a
proper level given what has happened."
Tofu sat up suddenly. If what Nabiki was implying was correct, it
was extremely serious. How powerful was the Kuno clan? "Nabiki, tell me
without wavering. Is there a threat to the students proceeding towards
dishonour?"
Nabiki nodded. "Jukus are practically forbidden by the headmaster
unless it has to do with studying about Hawaii. I doubt that many will
pass the Juken, and even then, it will have to be overseas training."
Tofu nodded, and started to gather Ranma and Akane's files,
medical records, and personal information. "It will take me a little
while to write up a letter for each of these files, and I now understand
the urgency. I would like you to describe your impressions of the
headmaster, for the records. I will, of course, keep your name out of
this, and have an observation group enter the school. There are several
Ministries which will be interested in this information, and that have
more...influence, than the Ministry of Education."
Nabiki nodded. Trading information was good, and perhaps
something could be done about the head nut. Perhaps a pool on how long
before Headmaster Kuno was removed, or the date when he was to be removed
would be appropriate. It wouldn't hurt to make _some_ money on this deal.
***
Laughing maniacally, Ranma prepared his move, knowing that he
would be successful, and that his foe would be defeated, if not dead, for
daring to try and go after him.
"Saotome, just roll the damn dice. Whenever you laugh like that
it sends chills down my spine."
"Ah, you're just jealous that I can pull it off. Besides, my
character is supposed to be half crazy because of that mind control
attempt a while back, and you're the one who designed the spell that did
it."
"Hey, how was I supposed to know it'd backfire like that?" Ryu
grumbled. "Just because you failed your saving throw is no reason to take
it out on us."
Ranma replied by dumping a glass of water on his head, "Well, I
_do_ happen to have some experience with real curses and magic you know."
Ryu grumbled while the others laughed.
Hikaru, the gamemaster, then pointed at Ryu, and then at Ranma,
and everyone broke out laughing even harder. It got even worse when Ranma
put her hands under her chin and fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly. He
then said, "You're the only one I know of Ranma, that can make
role-playing something else."
Ranma grinned, "Yeah, I know, and I'm great at it. Now about the
spell point system that we're using, it seems a bit limited since we are
basing it upon a person's knowledge, constitution, and stamina. I know it
doesn't work that way in real life, heck, martial arts doesn't work that
way in real life, at least not at the higher levels."
Ryu nodded, "Yeah, and if anyone should know, it's Saotome. His
life is filled with all sorts of strange things happening."
"Problem is, it would be hard to fit into the current game
system." Sakura mused from where she was sitting. "We'd have to tear it
apart and revise the damn thing, not to mention making new spells to take
everything into account."
"It's better that we do it now than later," commented Kenchiro as
he looked over the printouts he had. "The only way to confirm the system
that we are going to code is to test it out, and that means changing
things before we go any further and creating internal blind spots."
Everyone groaned, and Ranma sighed. Just when she was about to
take out the sorcerer who had created those pools of sorrow...
***
Cologne frowned as she went into her sanctum. It was hard to
imagine that anything would be wrong with Ranma, but the possibility could
not be denied. Physical problems were laughable, especially at the rate
Ranma learned techniques, or how he could hide the amount he was holding
back against all of his opponents. He even managed to hide his true power
from her!
To Cologne, the real question was what could be wrong in Ranma's
upbringing by his cowardly father.
Cologne had given up on getting Ranma for her tribe quite a while
ago. He was stubborn, egotistical, did not want to be held down, and had a
lot of problems with honour thanks to that no good father. As far as she
was concerned, Genma was thinking with only one thing, his stomach. Why
else would he make a deal with Ukyou's father for just a yatai, or teach
his son that eating and martial arts were the be all and end all of life?
That attitude was probably what was wrong with Ranma.
Then again, her granddaughter was not making things any easier.
The foolish girl was scheming, underhanded, and obviously not
thinking of the future as she kept thinking that her own culture was the
only one that mattered. The worst, absolute worst, deed she had done was
to try and break up the marriage between Ranma and Akane, not realizing
that in this country they could already be married, the couple just had
not completed the public ceremonies. After almost a year in this country,
Shampoo kept showing her ignorance and unwillingness to learn.
Admittedly, she had originally come to this country with Shampoo,
thinking that Ranma just needed a little bit of encouragement, and that he
would recognize the laws that he had inadvertently crossed. Cologne was
not against plotting, or doing something that could lead to more for
Shampoo, but she had at least made an effort to learn the laws and culture
that she was living in. She had also believed that the boy had been told
of the laws both times, when he had been confronted by Shampoo in the
village, and then later when he had 'defeated' Shampoo as a male.
It was Shampoo's failure to tell the girl of the law, or even
confirming the consequences when confronting Ranma the first time that led
to her being retrained at Jusenkyo. It was only when she came back to
China had it been learned that the girl only battled the winner of the
tournament thinking that it was a battle over food, which it should have
been. To have later learned that Shampoo had lied about how Ranma had won
the match in male form, and to have not explained the circumstances first,
which would have required Ranma to make a formal challenge, was worse.
If this was learned about back in the village, Shampoo would be locked in
her cursed form.
No, it would do no good to take Ranma back to China, which is why
she did not interfere with the boy coming back to Japan when she had ample
opportunity to keep him in the country, and in the village.
Besides, even if the law had been followed properly, Ranma would
be the worst possible person to have in the village, especially since
trouble followed him like a magnet. Pantyhose Taro who would constantly
challenge him in some deluded belief that this would get Happousai to
change his name, ghosts coming around to disturb the boy, and strange
challenges that no seemingly rational person would accept. To top it off,
the Japanese seemed to take all of this in stride as normal!
Why else would they not complain to the authorities about that
Kuno family, with the boy making ludicrous statements that no one actually
believed, the daughter using dangerous items that could cause innocents to
die, and the father who wanted to torment everyone with a very bad
haircut. Or worse yet, allow Happousai to live for the most part
peacefully even though everyone, even the government, knew where he lived.
No, despite what her daughter, granddaughters, and
great-granddaughters, as well as others in the village thought, the
Japanese were not backwards people with no respect for others. The
warriors in this small section of Japan, a small, virtually unnoticeable
and unremarkable district of Tokyo were extremely strong, with many being
able to defeat the entire village without having to resort to special
techniques that were within their own culture. Thankfully her
great-granddaughter had never run into that 'Nuku-Nuku' girl from Akie's
because Cologne had seen the girl take on an attack helicopter and win.
Cologne doubted her own chances at surviving at a distance.
The manga and anime that the Japanese created were mild in
comparison to what went on in the district every day.
If they brought Ranma to the village by force, or even made him
angry in any small way, the Joketsuzoku would cease to exist. He would
have to be kept either drugged and helpless, or given control of the
village, which would be unthinkable by the hidebound council. Anyone who
believed that Ranma, the person who killed Saffron, would be happy in a
small village with very few modern conveniences was crazy. To that end,
Cologne was more concerned with making friendly contacts, teaching Ranma
and any of his friends whenever they wanted to learn, and try to
understand the Japanese people and why they thought the unusual normal.
As for Ranma, the boy was annoying at times, but he was brilliant,
if anyone actually took the time to see what he was doing. No, if there
was a problem with Ranma, then it would have to be in his upbringing, and
the fact that his father treated women as objects and not people. Given
this, and how shy, and scared of contact with girls who were overly
affectionate, despite his curse, he would not accept being trapped in that
manner. Admittedly, he had reason to be that way, given how every girl he
met seemed to want to throw herself at him. She was quite sure that if
the current four girls were not martial artists, he would have more after
him.
No, for the sake of peace, she would have to take a hand in this,
although not in the way Shampoo would like. She would need to find some
way to create a public marriage ceremony for the boy, and from the looks
of it, it would have to be with Akane. There was no way she would come
between Ranma and that girl!
Besides, it would also allow her to remain in Japan, and she did
like all of the amenities, especially videogames.
With that thought, Cologne unlocked her private cabinet, turned on
the television, and selected her favourite game. An RPG featuring three
young girls who happened to be the saviours of another, magical, planet...
***
Sakura grinned suddenly. The perfect way to get Ranma to notice
her had just popped into her head! If she used a variation LHA compression
format series and applied that to the text of the RPG they were working
on, they could get the whole thing under 2 Megs, and it would only add
about 40 Kb to the size of the main program, 64 if she was designing it to
perform on the fly decoding with the help of a mini-database. This was a
way to show the most egotistical programmer of their juku that he wasn't
the best.
Misa rolled her eyes as she saw Sakura's expression. "Only one
thing could cause that. You've thought of a way to best Saotome."
Sakura nodded in excitement as she sipped her drink. "Yep! It's
the perfect way to show 'his arrogance' that he's not the only programmer
around!"
"You sure that it isn't just another way to get him to go out with
you?"
Sakura started to cough as a bit of her drink went down the wrong
way. "Me?!? After that arrogant bastard? You've got to be kidding."
Misa shook her head, "Ranma is a bit rough around the edges, but
he's always a perfect gentleman. And you know how many girls are already
after him, and they have no idea of what he can really do. How many more
girls do you think would be after him if they knew his real skills?"
"A lot..." Sakura sighed. Misa was correct about her reasons for
trying to better Ranma. "Look, he respects people who do their best, no
matter what. He wants someone who can think, or act, or do something that
is their best, and will always try to better themselves. It's the reason
he keeps with that Tendo Akane, despite how she treats him. All I'm doing
is giving him a reason to look elsewhere, not trying to force him to look
at me."
"That is not how you grab a man you know."
"So? It's the best way to work with him. There are already too
many 'enthusiastic' girls after him and trying to force him to lose his
virginity. How would you like it if boys were trying to force you to lose
your virginity?"
"Show me where those boys are so I can!"
"MISA!!!!"
***
The Next Day...
Ranma sighed happily on the way to school. Everything seemed
right, and with the day being so peaceful, he could concentrate on a few
more things, although he still had to be careful of Shampoo. Then again,
his luck would never hold that long.
Of course, what Ranma considered peaceful would be what others
considered violent.
The day started off well, with his father, for once, asking to
spar instead of tossing him out the window. He managed not to get dunked
in the pond, but also refused to do the same to his father, and with his
mother's presence, especially her looking directly at his father several
times, Ranma did not have to protect his food. Ranma and Akane were
getting along, at least no words of war had been exchanged as of yet, and
even Nabiki was being nice. Of course, it could have something to do with
his mother wanting to go out somewhere with him this evening, but it
seemed Ranma spent very little time with his mother.
Amazingly enough, he made it to school without Shampoo being along
the way, no Ukyou, and even more amazingly, no Kuno at the gates. Ranma
blinked, grabbed his arm, pinched to make sure, and blinked again.
Despite that test, he felt as though he was dreaming. No way could the
day be going that well. In fact, there was no way that anyone could have
as good a day as he'd been having.
Ranma frowned suddenly. *It can't last. Nabiki being nice, the
day going well, and not a single argument with Akane. I better be extra
careful today, since it could be more dangerous than ever.*
His eyes boggled when Akane grabbed his hand and pulled him gently
towards class, and there wasn't an explosion. Ranma then noticed NABIKI
smiling and nodding in satisfaction. He looked around franticly, and saw
everyone with smiles on their faces, not paying attention to what was
happening, and not even noticing how close Akane was to him. It was
wrong! Unnatural! It couldn't be happening! He had to be asleep!
*Yes! Asleep! That had to be it! No way could any of this
happen without a lot of people staring, or looking on, or making a bet, or
anything. And I _know_ it has to be a dream since Nabiki is smiling at
Akane holding my hand without trying to make some sort of money off of it.
Well, since this is a dream, might as well enjoy it.* Ranma thought to
himself, not realizing the problems that his actions were about to
cause...
***
English Class:
"Ranma, would you please read article twenty-seven and give us
your interpretation of the described events, and what this means for the
general populace of Japan. Also, I want you to write the definition of
word twelve in paragraph three on the board for the class." Hinako-Sensei
said as she prepared herself for another bad reading. The boy was one of
the worst at English that she knew of, and could barely get the shapes of
Romanji correct a lot of the time, so she didn't expect much. Still,
foreign language studies were required, and she somehow had to drill it
into his head in the next two years.
Ranma looked at the word first, before he started to read, and
came up to the board. Fortunately, it was a word that he was familiar
with, especially since the definitions were a bit unusual; he'd had to
look it up before. That he had to get such an easy word to write the
definition to in his first class of the day was proof that it was a dream.
No matter what happened for the rest of the day, he'd take it in stride.
*Might as well have fun with this, especially since I would never be able
to get away with it in real life without a protest!*
Variable: Anything which may change and thus change the outcome of a
given circumstance. In context, a named container that can hold a value
consisting of a character string of any length. The variable can be
created by applying a name and placing the value within with a put, place,
or input command.
Hinako-Sensei boggled at the fact that Ranma had written, and
expanded upon, an English definition without looking at a dictionary,
book, or reference guide, and the fact that the Definition was written in
Romanji, and in ENGLISH! She almost fainted, but kept pinching herself
behind her back as Ranma then turned around, and started to read the
article, without problems, and like an American. This was a dream. It
had to be a dream. Nothing else made sense.
Math Class
The Sensei was amazed, confused, and absolutely happy!
Ranma, the worst student in the class, was answering every
question correctly! He had even gone through several quadratics without a
problem!
"Saotome-kun, I would like you to come up to the board and
demonstrate the solution to the equation that I have placed there."
As Ranma stepped up to the board, and went into the mathematical
proof that showed how one was equal with negative one, he smiled wider.
The proof required knowledge of calculus, topology, and dimensional
variance. Since Ranma could do this, then he was a genius, and since he
had not demonstrated such abilities before, it had to be thanks to His,
Aida-Sensei's, teachings.
He cried tears of joy as he stated, "Absolutely correct,
Saotome-san!"
Sociology Class:
"...given the upheaval caused by modern society, and how our
people have reacted at times, Japan seems to have a tendency to acquire
mannerisms slowly, as is evidenced by the strength of 'Rock and Roll' from
the American and British mid 50's to mid 60's era as opposed to the modern
'Punk Rock' currently the issue in North America. This is not to say that
the trend is not followed, however, as there must be some manner of
adaptation, as our society would easily stagnate.
"Examples of this adaptation are plentiful when we compare it to
American culture, especially since we have been brought up in a manner
conversant with conservation of resources. Our society recycles and
reprocesses every little bit that we can due to our limited resources as
compared to the small recycling effort of the Americans with their
plentiful resources. We adapted to an area of the globe with few
resources by learning how to recycle. Now, how does this apply to the
social context of society and business and the relationship of a
recognized 'Feudal' society as represented by Japan versus a 'Democratic
Republic' such as the United States?
"The answer is quite simple, as our culture has already adapted
the 'Feudal' model of society as a semi-rigid structure and cross-pasted
democratic processes, already in place in the lower levels of society, as
a means of satisfying the American military and cultural forces who wished
to cause an upheaval similar to, and with the same intent, that the
cultural upheaval by the European Christian elements caused in Native
North American Society. Further, by having the model applied to business,
especially with a military approach to the subject, as Sun Tzu is still
required reading to everyone involved in Japan's economic prosperity, this
has allowed us to prevent Americans from 'culling' our society as was
attempted by the French to the Vietnamese people prior to World War II..."
The class was amazed as Saotome went on, but no one wanted to
interrupt him. Ranma usually slept in class, never said a word, barely
passed his courses, and reacted to everything with a physical reaction
rather than an intelligent one. A few of the braver ones in back of Ranma
were staring at him, then Akane who had been surprisingly silent, and then
back at Ranma.
Ranma, being this knowledgeable and intelligent?
It was either a dream or the world was coming to an end.
Computer Class:
The teacher was amazed at the speed with which Ranma typed, and
the fact that he had finished his assignment in five minutes after the
class started, when he was sure that Ranma could hardly turn on the
machine without an accident was nothing short of amazing! Surreptiously,
he started to check the network to see if something happened. He would
not be surprised if something like that American movie happened to Ranma.
Given the strangeness, it would be just like the boy to be able to absorb
the entire knowledge and the database of a mainframe through an electrical
accident. If not here, then somewhere. It was the only possible
explanation for the boy being THIS good.
***
Ranma sighed happily. It was a good dream so far. Nice and
peaceful, no one bugging him with unwanted questions, and not being
splashed with cold water at the most unexpected times. Ukyou was friendly
without mentioning the engagement, Kuno was nowhere to be seen, Akane was
friendly and did not try to feed him, and now it was time to go home and
spend some time with his mom. How could things get any better?
To Be Continued...